Another Cracker Shooting

Executive Summary:

  • Florida Cracker, playing “cowboy”, shoots himself in leg
  • He did what, huh, mmmmmmmm

Thanks to sister and Sarkes Corner Florida Bureau contributor, Cindy Mamelian, for another story about a Florida Cracker with a gun.

36-year-old Matthew Noffsinger Jr. accidentally shot himself in the leg while “Playing Cowboy”.  Sarkes has never seen a Floridian “Play Cowboy”.   Based on what Sarkes has seen on Movies, “Playing Cowboy” must include riding horses and shooting guns.  

One must have a horse and gun to Play Cowboy

You see, in Sarkeses gated Golf Course community, the only thing that the Rich, Old, White guys ride are Golf Carts, and the only thing that they are shooting is Golf.

Rich, Old, White Floridians love their Golf and riding Golf Carts

Initially, Cracker Noffsinger lied about the incident because, as a Felon, he’s not supposed to own a gun.  Cracker Noffsinger told the police that he was in the woods when somebody shot him.  The Cracker was an innocent victim.

A Florida Cracker, when painted into a corner, defaults to lying 

Police questioned Cracker Noffsinger about why he had an entrance and exit wound straight down his leg.  That’s when Cracker Noffsinger admitted that he was “playing cowboy” with a .22 revolver when he accidentally shot himself.

The Florida Cracker likes the feel of the .22 caliber revolver

Cracker Noffsinger stated that he lied because he’s a convicted felon and he’s not supposed to be in possession of a gun.  To make matters worse, a wallet containing four credit cards and an ID that didn’t belong to Cracker Noffsinger were found in his backpack.  Of course, Cracker Noffsinger told police that he just found those items. 

Cracker Noffsinger is in the Hoosegow as he could not make Bail.  No surprise there. 

The Animal Kingdom Revolts

Executive Summary:

  • Lenny Harding has connected some Disturbing Dots
  • The Animal Kingdom is planning to overthrow Mankind 

As you know, Sarkes, a renowned Statistician, can Connect Dots where most don’t even see the Dots.  Well, Sarkeses friend and Special Sarkes Corner Contributor, Lenny Harding, has Connected some Dots in the Animal Kingdom.  Sarkes must admit, he did not see these Dots.

Lenny Harding is a descendent of our 29th President, Warren Harding.  Republican Warren Harding was President from 1921 until his death in 1923 from Heart issues.  Like most Presidents, Warren Harding was a Sniffer.  Harding was also known for the Teapot Dome scandal.  Harding is often rated as one of our worst presidents.  But Sarkes knows Lenny Harding, and Lenny is no Warren Harding.

GOP President Warren Harding was corrupt and rated as our worst President

Lenny Harding is a descendent of Warren Harding but is nothing like his ancestor  

Thought exhaustive journalistic investigation, Lenny Harding has connected Dots to conclude that the Animal Kingdom is in the early stages of rebellion against Humans and have a Master Plan to lower Humans to the Bottom of the Food Chain.  Lenny presents the following Dots:

Dot 1:  Rhino Poacher Killed by Elephant and Eaten by Lions: 

A man suspected of being a rhino poacher was killed last week by an elephant and his remains devoured by a pride of lions at a South African park.  

Rangers at Kruger National Park found only a human skull and a pair of pants.   Four of the dead man’s accomplices were arrested.  The man’s accomplices said that they had been in the park to poach rhinos when he was attacked and killed by an elephant.

Elephants usually win any close combat with Humans
A Pride of Hungry Lions will eat anything


Dot 2: New Jersey residents say Wild Turkeys are attacking community:

A gaggle of 40 to 60 wild turkeys have been aggressively terrorizing residents in a 55-and-up community in Ocean County daily.  Holiday City residents say the turkeys are blocking doorways, pecking at cars and behaving aggressively when they are shooed away.

The wild turkeys weigh between 16 and 24 pounds and run up to 20 miles per hour.  The township has received dozens of complaints but says it’s animal control is powerless in capturing or stopping the birds since they are not licensed to trap wildlife.

Turkeys are better when served at Thanksgiving with all the Fixings


Dot 3: Chimps are killing people in Uganda:

Chimpanzees are attacking people in Uganda, part of a disturbing trend going on in the country that has led to crop loss and even death.

National Geographic reports that the problem has been going on for several years starting in 2014 when a chimp fatally attack a 2-year-old child, stealing the baby from his mother.

Villagers have built a bamboo fence around their backyards to prevent the chimps from getting in but the fence was no match for the chimps, who kept returning.   Three deaths have been reported and six additional injuries or escapes have occurred as a result of the Chimpanzee attacks.

Angry Chimps can scale any Wall

Well, maybe not the big, beautiful Trump Wall paid for by the Mexicans


Dot 4: Feral hogs in Texas attacked and killed a woman:

A Texas woman was found dead after pre-dawn attack by a group of feral hogs.  Christine Rollins, a 59-year old caregiver to an elderly couple in Anahuac, failed to show up at her normal time on Sunday and the  homeowner found her lying in the front yard between her car and the house.

It appears that multiple hogs assaulted Rollins when she arrived at work.  lt

was determined Rollins was attacked by different hogs because of the various size of the bites on her body.  Mature feral hogs can weigh between 100 and 400 pounds.

Ferrel Hogs are the new White Meat

The Dots have been connected by Lenny Harding and it is clear that the Animal Kingdom is planning a Coup de Ta against Mankind.

An angry President Trump Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 11 @ 4:23 AM

Thanks to that Great American and Republican Lenny Harding for connecting the Dots and making America aware of this imminent attack against mankind.  Only I can stop the attack of Wild Animals against our People.  I will stop these Wild Animals like I stopped the Hoards of Mexican Rapist, Gangsters, Druggies and Muslims who were Invading America.

Only Donald Trump can Stop the Invasion of the Animal Kingdom

Trump and the Armenian Genocide

Executive Summary:

– The US House and Senate have recently recognized the Genocide of 1.5 Million Armenians by the Ottoman Empire in 1915

– Donald Trump will not recognize this atrocity…..Why?

Our Uber Partisan, Do-Nothing House and Senate both recently passed Bi-Partisan resolutions recognizing the Murder Genocide of 1.5 Million Armenians by the Ottoman Turks in 1915.

But, the Orange Ottoman will NOT recognize the 1915 Genocide of Armenia by the Ottoman Turks that murdered 1.5 Million innocent Armenians, including immediate relatives of all 4 of Sarkeses grandparents who came to America as refugees of the Genocide. WHY?

The Orange Ottoman and his Strongman Ottoman Dictator Buddy Erdagon


Sarkes can overlook that we elected a serial adulterer because the Orange P-Grabber has caused a Tsunami of cash to flood our Portfolios. The Old GOP Conservative Family Values were much ado about nothing. 

The Orange Birddog likes large chested women in tight dresses


Sarkes can overlook that our Deficit has soared like a Boeing ICBM under the Orange Economists Tax Cut and Spend Economic policies because a Tsunami of cash has bloated our Portfolios. 

Our Deficit has soared faster than a Boeing ICBM
We can’t Blame Obama for this record Deficit, can we?


Sarkes can overlook the anti-free trade policies of the Orange Tariff Man as a Tsunami of cash has invaded our Portfolios.  Free Trade is overrated. 

The Orange Tariff Man says the World has taken advantage of Merica with Unfair Free Trade


Sarkes can chuckle when the Orange Bully resorts to Junior High Name Calling, very entertaining.

The Orange Bully is an Equal Opportunity Verbal Abuser, no segment of our society is immune


Sarkes can overlook that the Orange Pinocchio is a pathological lier.  All Politicians lie, it’s just that the Orange Pants on Fire takes lying to all new levels.  But with the Irreversible Dumbing of America, no one cares.  And, the Orange Perfidious lies have no negative impact on our Portfolios.

How can you tell if the Orange Pinocchio is lying?  His Lips are Moving


Sarkes can overlook the Climate Change denying by the Orange Meteorologist because Sarkes will have made his Celestial Exit before there is a Climate Armageddon.     

Climate Change is a Hoax, Scam, Sham, perpetrated by Liberal Scientists


Sarkes can overlook the anti immigration policies of the Orange ICE Agent as the only Korkoian family left in Armenia are distant relatives. Sure, as a Brown Man, Sarkes is always on guard for an ICE raid when in a restaurant in SW Florida, but this is only an aggravation.  

ICE rounds up the Brown Man and sorts them out later


Sarkes can understand that the Orange Constitutionalist is constantly doing Ends Around the Constitution to execute his Campaign Promises AND to set himself up to be President for Life like his Dictator Buddies; Erdogan, Putin, Xi, Duarte, and Jung Un. At one time, Sarkes could care less if the Orange Caesar was President for Life as long as his Portfolio stayed bursting at the seams.   

The Orange Strongman with his Dictator Boy Toys


Sarkes CANNOT overlook that the Orange Ottoman will NOT recognize the 1915 Genocide of Armenia by the Ottoman Turks that murdered 1.5 Million innocent Armenians, including immediate relatives of all 4 of Sarkeses grandparents who came to America as refugees of the Genocide. 

Sarkes understands that the Orange Sultan wants to be a Strongman like his idols Erdogan, Putin, Xi, Duarte, and Jung Un. What other explanation is there for cow-towing to these oppressive Dictators. 

So why won’t the Orange Pasha recognize this atrocity?  Why is the Orange Shah patronizing the despicable Ottoman Erdogan?  Is the Orange Czar that gullible that he has fallen for the 6 million dollar / year lobbying done by the current Ottoman Turkish Government to influence our Politicians that there was no Genocide?  

No, this is the straw that broke the camels back, a line in the sand has been crossed. Enough is enough. 

Unless the Orange Premier flips and formally recognizes the 1915 Genocide of Armenia by the Ottoman Turks in 30 days, Sarkes will announce that he is running for President in 2020 as an Independent. This will disrupt the entire 2020 election dynamics. 

Sarkeses Portfolio be dammed. 

Sarkes may run for President in 2020

Editorial Note:  Sarkes had considered posting some pictures from the 1915 Genocide of Armenians by the Ottoman Empire, but the images are too disturbing even for Sarkes.  

In 1915, from a population of 2 million, 1.5 million Armenians were marched into the Syrian dessert and killed, as such, the Armenian people were almost exterminated.  If it wasn’t for the fall of the Ottoman Empire at the end of  World War II, and there would be no Sarkes or Sarkes Corner.

If you are interested, Google:  “Armenian Genocide Images”  for some disturbing pictures of this atrocity which is still being denied by all Turkish governments since the end of World War I.  

2019 – A Record Year

Executive Summary:

  • Its that time of year to recap 2019
  • 2019 was a record year for Mass Murders in America

Well, 2019 was a record year for Mass Murders in America.  There were more mass killings in 2019 than any year dating back to the 1970s.  In 2019, there were 41 mass killings, defined as when four or more people are killed. 211 people were killed in these mass murders. Sarkes, an Award Winning Statistician, calculates that an Average of 5.15 innocent men, women, and children were murdered in the 41 mass killings.

The highlight Mass Murders that garnered the most coverage occurred in:  El Paso, Texas (22 murdered), Virginia Beach, Virginia (12 murdered), Dayton, Ohio (9 murdered), Odessa, Texas (8 murdered), and and Gilroy, CA (4 murdered). 

The 211 people killed in 219 is still eclipsed by the 224 victims in 2017, when the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history took place in Las Vegas. If not for the 59 people murdered in Las Vegas, 2019 would have taken the record for not only the number of Mass Murders, but also people killed.

The Mass Murderers were almost all Angry White Men and their weapon of choice were Semi-Automatic Assault Rifles.

Angry Racist Patrick Crusius wins the Award for the most killed in El Paso.  Crusius did not like Mexican Invaders

The Semi Automatic Assault Rifle AR-15 was the weapon of choice for the Angry White Mass Murderer

When informed about the Record Mass Murders in 2019:

  • A spokesman for the NRA said:  “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”
  • President Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If more Americans were carrying guns, there would be less mass killings.
The Orange Lugar would like all Americans to Pack Heat
  • The President of the NRA said:  “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” 
  • A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “These Mass Murders with semi automatic weapons are just the price of our Freedom” 
  • Countless Politicians said:  “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”
  • Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, like California, what do you expect”.
  • If Charlton Heston were alive today he would say:  “I’ll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands”

Sarkes often wonders if our Founding Fathers might have reconsidered the 2nd Amendment if they had a clue that our right to “Bear Arms” would contribute to these Mass Murders. 

Lock and Load America, Lock and Load. Happy New Year, the clock on Mass Murders starts up again on January 1, 2020.

Iowa, Enough Said

Executive Summary:

  • An Iowa woman runs over a 14 year old girl with her SUV because the girl “is a Mexican”
  • She did what?  Because the girl was what?  What?

Nicole Poole Franklin, 42, from Des Moines, Iowa, was smoking Meth and driving around town when she saw a 14 year old girl, Natalia Miranda.   Racist Franklin then intentionally ran over the Miranda with her SUV because the girl looked “Mexican”. 

Mixing Meth with a Racist is a formula for disaster

Racist Franklin is not the smartest White Suprematist in the Klan as later she admitted to police that she intentionally targeted her victim because the girl “is Mexican.”  Racist Franklin now faces an attempted murder charge.

Natalia Miranda is Guilty of Being “Mexican” in Iowa

But running over a 14 year old “Mexican” was just a warm-up for Racist Franklin.  Less than an hour after running over the “Mexican”, Racist Franklin went to a Conoco gas station in West Des Moines.

Racist Franklin dropped into the Conoco station for a pack of smokes

At the Conoco gas station, Racist Franklin commenced a Racist rant against owner Waheed Abdul.  Racist Franklin was throwing potato chips, destroying merchandise and spewing racial slurs against Adbul.  Police were called and Racist Franklin was charged with assault, operating under the influence, theft, and public intoxication. Hate charges are also being considered. 

Abdul is guilty of being a Brown man in Iowa

Racist Franklin may have some anger management issues.  In 2018, Racist Franklin was charged with harassment and domestic abuse assault after she bit her boyfriend and struck him in the back of the neck. During the confrontation, Racist Franklin picked up a butcher’s knife and repeatedly said she would kill her boyfriend.

Even though Sarkes grew up in Missouri, the Shoot Me State, which is borders Iowa immediately to the south, Sarkes doesn’t know much about Iowa.  So, the Sarkes Corner Research Team provided Sarkes the following facts about Iowa:

  • Iowa has a population of just over 3 million, 90% are white, 6% Hispanic, and 4% Black.
  • Iowa has more Golf Courses per capita than any other state, and as we know, Golf is the sport of choice for Rich, Old, White Men.
Golfing in Iowa is for the Rich White Man, Brown People not Welcome
  • Sliced Bread, White of course, was invented in Iowa
The Bread in Iowa, like the People, is White

Confirmed Racist House Representative Steve King is from Iowa.  Racist King is so Racist that the GOP had no choice but to Censure him and remove him from several of his prestigious committees.

Steve King is a Proud Racist representing other Proud Racists in Iowa

So, Iowa is a great place to live and raise a family, as long as one is White.

A Sarkes Corner Quiz

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes offers a Multiple Choice Political Quiz

The Quiz:  Identify who said the following:

“The party that lost the 2016 election, the Democratic Party, is trying to achieve results by other means.  The Democrats accused Trump of conspiracy with Russia, there was no conspiracy at all.  These are all made up charges.”

Was it:

A. Jim Jordon, Republican Representative from Ohio

Jim Jordan, like Sarkes, does not like to wear suits

B. Devin Nunes, Republican Representative from California

Devin Nunes is an Endangered Species, a Republican in California

C. Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas

Ted Cruz now sports a beard to confuse ICE when he goes back to Texas

D. Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate Majority Leader

Moscow Mitch has a strong resemblance to Howdy Doody

E. Vlads Putin, President for Life – Russian Federation

Vlads Putin is a Man’s Man

And the answer is D. Vlads Putin.  No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.  Vlads, commenting after the House Impeached the Orange Martyr,  vigorously defended his Boy Toy.  

Vlads and Donnie share a relaxing moment

We are definitely smack dab in the middle of Bizzaro World.  “Many People Say” that Vlads is setting up the Orange Credulous to get the Russian Federation invited to the G8 to be held at Trump Doral in 2020.  

The Russian Federation will join the G8 in 2020

Finally, Sarkeses source in the White House, LEAKER, reports that when the Orange Premier gets reelected in 2020, his Orange Majesty will create a “Worlds Strongman Club” to include his buds Putin, Erdogan, Xi, Durarte, and Jung Un

This is a Who’s Who of Strongmen

Penis Fish

Executive Summary:

  • Thousands of Penis Fish washed up on a beach in California
  • Penis Fish, what?

WARNING WARNING WARNING – This Sarkes Corner contains material that might make Family Value Conservatives Uncomfortable – WARNING WARNING WARNING

The Penis Fish is a worm that looks like a man’s Johnson

After a powerful storm,  thousands of unsightly, and phallic-looking worms were washed up on a California beach.  Fat Innkeeper worms, also known as “Penis Fish”, washed up on Drakes Beach in Point Reyes, Calif., around fifty miles northwest of San Francisco.

Thousands of Penis Fish found dead on the beach, what a waste

The “Penis Fish” that washed ashore is the Urechis Caupo, a type of spoonworm that primarily lives on the Pacific coast from southern Oregon to Baja California.  At around 10 inches, its peculiar shape is perfect for coastal life, allowing it to dig a U-shaped burrow for itself.  

Penis Fish can grow to over 10 inches, oh my

The burrow that Urechis Caupo makes is also useful for catching food, letting them take water in using a mucus “net” and sucking in plankton and other bacteria. It even leaves behind residuals for its guests, hence the “innkeeper” moniker. 

The Penis Fish does what?

But how, exactly, did thousands of Penis Fish end up washed ashore? Since their homes are constructed out of sand or mud, strong storms can wash them away. This renders them entirely visible during high-storm seasons such as the ones in El Niño years.

The Penis Fish is commonly eaten in South Korea, Japan, China and Russia as a delicacy, often served raw.

The Penis Fish is eaten raw, what?

Stormy Daniels Tweeted:

Stormy Daniels@StormyD – December 15 @ 10:00AM

I have been around Penises my whole life and I must admit that I am impressed with the size of the Penis Fish.  If only Donnie had a Long Schlong anywhere close to the size of a Penis Fish, I would be the First Lady today.

If the Orange Johnson was bigger, Stormy D could have been our First Lady 

The Orange Commander in Tweets Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 16 @ 4:26AM

The report that I have a small Penis is Fake News, Alternate Facts, Phony, a Failed Take Down, Witch Hunt, Scam, Hoax, Hit Job, Harassment, Lynching, Triple Hearsay and Treasonous.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 16 @ 5:07AM

The charges that I have a small Penis has been perpetrated by the Deep State, Crazed Democrats, Never Trumpers, RINOs and Human Scum.  

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 16 @ 5:16AM

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY PENIS.  My Penis did nothing wrong.  My Penis is Perfect, Perfecto.  History will show that I am the greatest US President and that I have a large Penis.  No other President in history has had a bigger Penis than ME!!!!!!! My Penis will be completely Exonerated and Vindicated.  Case Closed.

No other President in history has had a larger One Eyed Snake

Trump IS an Environmentalist

Executive Summary:

  • “Many People Say” that the Orange Ecologist is anti environment
  • Sarkes has data to rebuke that charge

“Many People Say” that the Orange Conservationist believes that the movement to save our environment is as big a Hoax as the Impeachment Inquiry.   The Orange Tree Hugger and his GOP Lemmings claims that the Billions spent on cleaning up the Environment is a waste of Taxpayer dollars.  The Orange Preservationist claims that the “sky is falling” is a Ruse perpetrated by thousands of Angry Democrats and ill-informed Liberal Scientists.

Liberal Environmental Scientists are perpetrating a Hoax on America

Sure, on the surface, it would appear that the Orange Nature-Lover is anti-Environment based on his actions like:

  • Leaving the Paris Climate Agreement
  • Repealing or reducing many Obama Era Environmental Regulations like:

   o the Clean Power Plan

   o Toxic Air Pollution regulations

   o Fuel Economy Standards

   o the Clean Water Act

Yeah Yeah, on the surface, it would appear that the Orange Eco-Freak is anti-Environment.  But unlike most media outlooks, the crack Journalist at Sarkes corner dig much deeper into a topic and have concluded that:  Trump IS an Environmentalist.

All of the 16 Trump Golf Courses are Environmentally ECO Friendly

Many of Sarkes Corner readers are Liberal and are now shaking their heads in disbelief and are shouting, “Sarkes, have they legalized Marijuana in Florida, are you high, have you gone mad, what gives?”

Sarkes, a Truth Machine, provides proof positive that Trump IS an Environmentalist.  

The Orange Lavatory has ordered the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to do a nationwide review of water efficiency standards.  The Orange Urinal claims that because of issues with “sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms, People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. They end up using more water.” 

The Orange Latrine amplified: “We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms, where you turn the faucet on in areas where there’s tremendous amounts of water, where it rushes out to sea because you could never handle it. And you don’t get any water. You turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water”.  Better than any other President in our history, the Orange Commode has a way of communicating in clear and concise “Merican” language that all Americans can comprehend and understand. 

In America today, toilets must be flushed 10 to 15 times

American Urinals are more efficient, only 5 flushes are needed

Porta Potties may Stink but do not need to be flushed 10 to 15 times

On an Environmental roll, the Orange Privy said that the White House would need to change out the lightbulbs because the new ones are expensive and “give you an orange look.” The Orange Porta Potty has made similar comments before when complaining  about the energy efficiency requirements directed under former President Barack Obama.

Poor Americans cannot afford to buy expensive LED Lights

Again, the Orange Electrician amplified:  ”The new bulb is many times more expensive, and, I hate to say it, it doesn’t make you look as good. It gives you an orange look. I don’t want an orange look. Has anyone noticed that?”

LED Lights give Trump an Orange hue

So, Sarkes has proved proof positive that our President IS an Environmentalist.   With the Economy humming on all cylinders, unemployment never lower, stock market skyrocketing like a Boeing ICBM, Blacks turning into Republicans, the Orange Crapper is taking on Real Environmental issues never before addressed. 

Sarkes has proven that Trump IS an Environmentalist 

Even the Liberals with Stage 4 Trump Derangement Syndrome must agree that it takes 10 to 15 flushes with today’s toilets.  Sarkes can give testimony to the Orange Crappers newest Environment  initiative. Sarkes cannot count the number of times that he must flush his toilet 10 to 15 times.  

Not only are we wasting water, but Americans are spending wasted hours on the Throne.  

George Zimmerman is Back!

Executive Summary:

  • After an extended absence, our man George Zimmerman is back in the headlines
  • George is suing the family of the Black teenager that he killed for $100 Million dollars

Welcome back George Zimmerman, you have been gone too long.  

You all remember George Zimmerman:

  • killer of Skittle eating, ice tea drinking, young black man Trayvon Martin
  • killer of Hoodie sales in Florida
  • Neighborhood watch Police Officer Wannabe
  • serial abuser of women
  • Heat Packing, NRA Poster Boy for the NRA
  • failed fraudulent copy-write violating Artist

Black Teen Trayvon Martin liked Hoodies, Skittles, and Ice Tea

George Zimmerman is back in the news, it’s been too long, welcome back

“Many People Say” that George Zimmerman is a piece of Human Scum, low life and the epitome of a Florida Cracker.  While that all may be true, Sarkes owes a debt of gratitude to George Zimmerman.  You see, in the earliest days of Sarkes Corner, our man George Zimmerman provided great material for Sarkes Corner for years.  When Sarkes receives his first Pulitzer and Nobel Prize for Literature, he is obligated to recognize George Zimmerman for the success of Sarkes Corner. 

Our man George Zimmerman never ceases to amaze.  Zimmerman was acquitted of murder by a jury of his White Cracker Peers in the 2012 killing of Black Youth Travon Martin.   Now, either because he is short of cash, or, according to his shister lawyer, is trying to get justice, Zimmerman is suing the Trayvon Martin’s parents, family attorney, the attorney’s book publisher and prosecutors who tried his case, for $100 million dollars!  With his daily reporting of George Zimmerman, Sarkes expects to be added to this frivolous lawsuit. 

George Zimmerman celebrates his acquittal by a jury of his White Cracker Peers

You can say what you want about our man George Zimmerman, but you must give him credit for having the entrepreneurial spirt.  While having failed at all of his schemes, George has attempted to make money by auctioning off the Heat he used to kill Trayvon Martin and trying to sell fraudulent art.  

George Zimmerman needed cash so he attempted to auction the gun he used to kill Black Teen Trayvon Martin

George Zimmerman with one of several pieces of his failed, fraudulent, Artwork

Our Man George is claiming that he was defamed when all of those identified in this lawsuit allowed a witness to give false testimony in an attempt to incriminate him.  God Bless the USA, we are a litigious country that allows even Pond Scum like George Zimmerman to seek justice, and a large settlement.

Zimmerman’s claims that a trial witness pretended to be the last person to talk to Martin by phone before he was killed when the witness was actually the half-sister of the caller.  According to the lawsuit, Brittany Diamond Eugene didn’t want to testify that she had been talking to Martin before he was killed. So her half-sister, Rachel Jeantel, pretended that she was talking to the teen before he was fatally shot. Jeantel ended up testifying at Zimmerman’s 2013 trial in Sanford, Florida.

Rachel Jeantel is accused of lying on the stand

In a statement on Wednesday, Martin family attorney Benjamin Crump called the allegations unfounded and reckless.  “This plaintiff continues to display a callous disregard for everyone but himself, re-victimizing individuals whose lives were shattered by his own misguided actions. He would have us believe that he is the innocent victim of a deep conspiracy, despite the complete lack of any credible evidence to support his outlandish claims.”

Zimmerman’s shister lawyer in the lawsuit is Larry Klayman.  Shister Klayman is a Piece of Work himself.   Shister Klayman is a conservative activist who founded the watchdog group, Judicial Watch.  Last July, an ethics committee of the bar in the District of Columbia recommended that Klayman’s law license be suspended.

Shyster Larry Klayman, a Right Thinking Reagan / Trumpian Conservative, is seeking Justice for our man George Zimmerman

Looks like our man George Zimmerman is well represented.  Welcome back George, more to come.

Pregnant Cracker Packs Heat

Executive Summary:

  • A Pregnant Florida Crackerette uses an AR-15 to fatally shoot an armed intruder
  • Two armed men broke into the Crackerette’s house and pistol whipped the Cracker husband before the Crackerette wife pulled out her AR-15 and opened fire

Thanks to Sarkes Corner St. Louis Contributor Lenny Harding who specializes on stories about Florida Crackers packing Heat.  Lenny Harding is a descendent of our 29th President, Warren Harding.  Republican Warren Harding was President from 1921 until his death in 1923 from Heart issues.  Like most Presidents, Warren Harding was a Sniffer having extramarital affair with Nan Britton.  Also know for the Teapot Dome scandal, involving the development of oil reserves in Wyoming, Harding is often rated as one of our worst presidents.  But Sarkes knows Lenny Harding, and he is no Warren Harding.

Warren Harding was a typical Scandalous, P-Grabbing US President

Sarkes digresses, back on Point.

A pregnant Florida Crackerette, armed with an AR-15, gunned down one of two home invaders who had broken in her home and were pistol whipping her husband.   The deadly confrontation happened at about 9 p.m in Lithia, Florida, about 25 miles southeast of downtown Tampa.

After the woman fired one shot from the family’s AR-15-style rifle, both men fled and the mortally wounded robber collapsed in a drainage ditch outside where he died.  The Crackertte expressed concern that she did not know how to squeeze off multiple rounds, only getting off 1 shot.

The AR-15, the weapon of choice for the Heat Packing Cracker

Deputies are still searching for the other robber. The dead robber was described by deputies as a man in his late 20s, but he was not immediately identified.

Hillsborough County Sherrif said:  ”Two unknown males broke in and made demands of them. The male victim, who is the homeowner, began to get pistol-whipped and beat up.  During that incident, the female homeowner retrieved a firearm, which was in the house legally, and fired one round which struck the male victim that was found deceased in the ditch.”

Homeowner Cracker Jeremy King said he’d be dead if not for his fast-thinking, eight-months-pregnant wife. He said both home invaders had pistols and they fired one shot. 

Cracker King, like most Crackers, hasn’t mastered English, but speaking in “Merican” said:  “Them guys came in with two normal pistols and my AR stopped it.  My wife evened the playing field and kept them from killing me.”

The AR-15 evens the playing field for the Crackerette

Cracker King suffered a fractured eye socket, a fractured sinus cavity and a concussion to go along with 20 stitches from the attack, but no more than he would suffer in a Cracker bar room brawl.  Cracker King said he and wife did not know their attackers.  Cracker King, like most Salt of the Earth Floridian Crackers, live paycheck to paycheck, but cannot live without their AR-15’s and Large Capacity Magazines.

Jeremy King is a typical Florida Cracker, Dirt Poor but Weapon Rich

But, the Hills County Sherrif said:  “We also know this was not a random act.  This family was probably targeted.”  Sarkes interprets this for his naive readers of Sarkes Corner:  “This was a Meth deal gone back.”

Like the NRA Poster says:  “It takes a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy with a gun”.

The Great American Leader of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre said it best

When told about this incident, the Orange Glock said:  “Good, that Human Scum Robber got what he deserved.  When I win reelection in 2020, I will pass legislation to require that each homeowner have at least 1 semi-automatic weapon to protect us Great Americans from Mexican Rapists, Criminals, and Drug Lords”

Republican Herbert Hoover promised a “Chicken for every Pot”
The Orange Lugar promises a “Semi-automatic gun for every home”