The July 4th Celebration in Washington DC

Executive Summary:

  • Late Breaking News, Sarkes reports on a Meeting in the Oval Office
  • Sarkes reviles behind the scenes decisions 

In Late Breaking News, before heading to Europe with the Sarkes Corner Staff, Sarkes received an Emergency Call from his source in the White House, LEAKER.  At great risk, LEAKER said that he had a recording of a meeting in the Oval Office between the Orange Commander and Chief of Staff (Acting) Mick Mulvaney, discussing the 4th of July Celebration in DC.  

Sarkes provides the transcript of the meeting between the Orange King Pin and Mulvaney, Word for Word.  Sarkes reports, you decide.

Mick Mulvaney and the Orange Czar discussing the 2019 4th of July events in DC

Mick Mulvaney:  “Boss, there are a few things we need to discuss about the 4th of July Celebration tomorrow ….”

The Orange Commandant: (Interrupting) “Mick, this will be the GREATEST event in American History.  There is no other Military that comes close to ours.  We will put all of those other parades to shame.  Even my buds Vlads and Kim will not be able to compete.  I am a WINNER and will always be a WINNER.  There will be a record number of people in the National Mall, even more than my Inauguration!”

Mick Mulvaney:  “Ok Boss, but I need to go over a few things.  First, the Press and Democrats will be watching you closely.  They claim that you are using Tax Payer money for what will be a Political Rally for your 2020 Presidential Run.  You need to be careful about what you say …..”

The Orange Monarch: (Interrupting) “Mick, F – – k the Fake News Media and the Socialist Democrats, they are all a bunch of F – – king Idiots, Stone Cold Losers, Low IQ, Deranged Animals.  I will say what ever I want, you understad.  Let them try to charge my Campaign.  I will just ignore them, and if they sue we have the Supreme Court in our pocket.  F – – K THEM! What’s Next.

Mick Mulvaney: “Uh, oh, well, OK, I don’t have anything else”

The Orange Emperor:  “Well Mick, I have a few questions.  Have Sarah Sanders get a hold of my Sec Def Patrick Shanahan”

Mick Mulvaney:  “Uh Boss, Sarah Sanders resigned as of the end of June and Shanahan resigned a few weeks ago over some Domestic Violence issues.  Your new Press Secretary is Stephanie Grisham who will do double duty as Melania’s Press Secretary.  Your new Acting Sec Def is Mark Esper.”

Sarah Sanders will go down in history as the White House Press Secretary that held the fewest and shortest White House Press Briefings

Patrick Shanahan will be Completely Exonerated, Case Closed, Boeing Executives are guided by a strong Code of Ethics

Stephanie Grisham will make a great Press Secretary, while she is not Blonde, she does have Big Ta Tas and could work at Fox News 
Mark Esper is doing double duty as the Acting Sec Def and Secretary of the Army, no big deal, the Orange Commander does not need a Sec Def

The Orange Autocrat:  “Oh well, we don’t need a Press Secretary, I told Sarah not to hold any Press Conferences, make sure Stephanie gets the word.  And I don’t believe for a minute that Shanahan is guilty of Domestic Violence.  He told me he did not do that and I have no reason to doubt him.  After all, he was a Boeing Executive and they have a strict Code of Conduct.  That Sarkes guy was also a Boeing Executive and his Sarkes Corner is Fair and Balanced.  Oh well, get Esper in here immediately.  

Meeting is suspended and 30 minutes later Acting Sec Def Mark Esper arrives from the Pentagon.

Mark Esper:  “Sir, Mick said that  you had a few questions about the 4th of July activities tomorrow.”

The Orange King: “Mark, Mick tells me that you have scheduled a Fly Over with Air Force 1, the F-18 Blue Angels, and the F-22.  If anyone asks, you are using DOD Training Budget for these Flyovers, understand.  And, Air Force 1 and F-18 Blue Angels are great Boeing products that always come in ahead of schedule and under cost so give them the most Air time.  The Failed Lockheed Martin F-22 is BILLIONS over cost and YEARS behind Schedule.  Scratch the F-22 from the Flyover.”

Air Force 1 is a High Quality Boeing product that has been serving Presidents for Decades

The Blue Angels are High Quality Boeing F-18s and will never be replaced by the Failed Lockheed Martin F-35 or F-22

Mark Esper:  “Uh, oh, well, yes Sir, will do”

The Orange Royal Majesty:  “And Mark, I want those Abrams Tanks that are staged on the National Mall to roll toward the Podium when I talk, understand.”

Mark Esper:  “But sir, we can’t do that, the DC Mayor and Police have told us that the Abrams Tanks are not allowed on their streets due to the damage that will cause…..”

The Abrams Tank is the fastest, most powerful Tank in the World

The Orange Potentate:  (interrupting)  “Just what about I just told you don’t you understand, remember that I am your Boss and you take orders directly from me.  And F – – k that Failed DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, her name is Bowser because she has the face of the Dog.  What is DC going to do, send me a Bill, (laughing), I’ll just ignore that like I do everything else, now make it happen.

Mark Esper:  “Yes sir, whatever you say”

The Orange Premier:  “Now Mark, Mick Tells me that the stupid Baby Trump Ballon will be flying over the National Mall.  That is Totally Illegal, Evil, flown by Fools, Seriously Flawed, a Hit Job, Phony and TREASONOUS, TREASONOUS!  If they fly the Baby Trump Ballon I am ordering you to shoot is down, I don’t care what you use. Understand.”

The Baby Trump Ballon is Treasonous and will be shot down

The Orange Exalted Ruler:  “Mark, one last thing, I want our troops to Goose Step when they march toward me before I speak.  If Putins, Kims, Duartes, and Erderon’s troops can Goose Step our US troops should Goose Step higher and better.”

Mark Esper whispers to Mick Mulvaney: (whispering) “Mick, we do not have any troops lined up to march tomorrow, where did he get that idea.”

Mick Mulvaney whispers to Mark Esper: (whispering) “Mark, just shake your head and leave.”

US Troops do not Goose Step but can learn fast


The Orange Fuhrer:  “Ok Mick, that should do it.  Oh wait, has my Uniform been delivered?  While I am the fittest President EVER, I want to make sure that the Tailor did not screw up and made it too tight.”

Mick Mulvaney:  “Your Uniform was delivered, I’ll bring it right up.”

The Orange Admiral looks sharp in his Uniform.  He won’t be wearing military shoes due to his Bone Spurs

Cracker Justice?

Executive Summary:

  • A Florida woman was charged after giving husband’s guns to police
  • Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my

Thanks to Sarkeses High School buddy Chuckie Chuckie Kofron for another great case study of Florida Crackerdom.  You see, recently retired Chuckie Chuckie had been considering buying property in Florida but is now apprehensive after reading the stories in Sarkes Corner on the antics of the Heat Packing, Florida Cracker.  Like Fox News Fair and Balanced, Sarkes passes no judgement, Sarkes reports, You decide.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Sometimes, the Police and Prosecutors in Florida, the Gunshine State, never cease to amaze also. 

A Florida Cracker or Crackerette are usually docile specimens.  A Florida Cracker or Cracerette packing Heat is an inevitable accident waiting to happen.

A Florida woman’s effort to protect herself from domestic violence has become a flashpoint in the debate over gun rights and victims’ safety.

Crackerette Courtney Irby gave her estranged husband’s guns to police after he was charged with domestic violence-aggravated battery, only to find herself arrested for Theft.  Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.

Crackerette Courtney Irby was arrested for stealing her Cracker Husbands Heat

Crackerette Irby spent six days in jail on charges of Armed Burglary and Grand Theft after she retrieved an Assault Rifle and handgun from her husband’s apartment and gave them to the Lakeland Police. Cracker Joseph Irby was spending one day in jail at the time, accused of ramming into her car after a divorce hearing.

Cracker Irby Packs Heat and is a real Piece of Work

After her husband’s arrest, Crackerette Irby petitioned for a temporary injunction for protection, which was granted. Federal law prohibits people under a domestic violence restraining order from possessing guns, but it’s up to local law enforcement to enforce it.  Lakeland Police DID NOT take the Cracker Abuser’s Heat away!  Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my,

Crackerette Irby told police that she believed he wouldn’t turn in his guns himself, so she took action. According to her arrest report, she said she entered her husband’s apartment through a locked door without his permission and took the guns to a police station.

A Cracker with an Assault Weapon like this is an accident waiting to happen

“So you’re telling me you committed an armed burglary?” the Lakeland Police Officer asked her.   Crackerette Irby replied: ”Yes, I am but he wasn’t going to turn them in so I am doing it”.   The Lakeland Police Office then arrested Crackerette Irby.   Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.

The arrest of an abused Crackeretee by the Lakeland Police drew the ire of many.  State Rep. Anna Eskamani of Orlando tweeted that it’s “ridiculous” to arrest a woman in this kind of situation.  She sent a letter to State Attorney Brian Haas asking that Crackerette Irby not be prosecuted. She cited research showing the presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation makes it five times more likely a woman will be murdered.  No surprise there.

While federal law prohibits people under domestic violence restraining orders and convicted of domestic violence from possessing guns, local law enforcement and prosecutors don’t have the tools they need to enforce those restrictions, Eskamani said in her letter to the state attorney.  “These loopholes are major contributors to the deadly relationship between domestic violence and firearms,” Eskamani said.

Cracker Irby’s charges involve an altercation that began with a shouting match after the divorce hearing. According to his arrest report, they both got into their cars and then he used his vehicle to strike her back bumper several times, running her off the road.  Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.

In requesting that she be released on bond, Crackerette Irby’s attorney argued that she didn’t commit theft since she didn’t take the guns for her personal use and didn’t benefit by taking them.  Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.

Gun rights advocates and the NRA are in favor of prosecuting Crackerette Irby while her supporters launched a fundraising campaign for her legal fees.

The NRA is out to protect the Gun Rights of all Americans, even hot headed irrational Crackers

No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.  Only in America, Only in Florida, Only in the Cracker Kingdom can this happen.  This is Cracker Justice.  Sarkes Ponders, what would Judge Judy say about Cracker Justice?

Judge Judy is now sporting a Ruth Bader Ginsberg look, and Sarkes thought Judge Judy was a Conservative, Hmmm

A Caravan of Foreigners is on the Move

Executive Summary:

– London, Ontario, Canada, is the birthplace of Insulin

– A Caravan of Americans is Invading Canada

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Canadian Bureau Chief Dennis Parass for this Breaking Story on an American invasion of Canada.

Disclaimer:  Sarkes has Diabetes and has taken Insulin for over 20 years.  In order to provide Fair and Balanced reporting, this Sarkes Corner was assembled by Sarkes Corner Junior Staffers but Sarkes did proof read to ensure that this story is Accurate, Fair, and Balanced.

London, Ontario, Canada, is the birthplace of Insulin, and the latest stop for desperate American Diabetics.  A Caravan of scores of  American Diabetics are heading to London, Ontario, Canada, to pay homage to Sir Frederick Banting, inventor of Insulin, and to buy cheap Canadian Insulin.

Sir Frederick Banting was a Canadian medical scientist and physician who discovered the therapeutic potential of Insulin to treat people with Diabetes.  In 1923, Banting received the Nobel Prize in Medicine at age 32.  

Canadian Sir Frederick Banting discovered Insulin as a treatment for Diabetes in 1923

American Quinn Nystrom, an American Diabetic, is a Diabetes Advocate, Speaker and Author. With an already impressive resume, Nystrom is adding Anarchist to her resume.  Nystrom is leading a Caravan of American Diabetics with plans Invade Canada.

Quinn Nystrom is leading an Caravan of American Diabetics invading Canada, she doesn’t look like an Anarchist

The Caravan of Diabetic Americans is heading to London, Ontario, to buy cheap insulin at Canadian pharmacies and to pay tribute to the co-founder of the lifesaving medication, Sir Frederick Banting.  The caravan will leave from Minneapolis, picking up American Diabetics in Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois and East Lansing, Mich.

American Diabetics are Invading Canada to buy Cheap Insulin, hmmm don’t Black People take Insulin?

It is estimated that the Diabetic American Invasion of Canada is as Uuuuuuge as the Mexican Invasion of the US Southern Border.

Mexicans are Invading the US to work on our Golf Courses, Hotels, Roofs, Farms, etc

Anarchist Nystrom stated: ”There is an insulin crisis in America. The price of insulin has increased 200 per cent and one in four Americans has been found to be rationing their insulin.”  Nystrom added:  “A vial of the insulin in the US costs $340 but just $30 in Canada.  I was able to get 10 vials of the insulin I need for the price of one vial in America”.

In Canada, insulin is available over the counter. The American Invaders have alerted London, Ontario area pharmacies that they’re coming, so the medication can be made available, and are spreading out to different pharmacies so as not to overburden the supply. 

Nystrom Continued: ”That’s the other shocking thing for Americans. We can just come to Canada and buy what we need. In the U.S., you need a prescription, and it’s a lot of rigamarole. Sometimes, if the contract for our particular Insulin prescription expires, your insurance company will no longer cover it, or if they have a new contract with a new company, you have to switch brands.” 

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau called an Emergency Meeting of the Canadian Cabinet to determine how Canada will handle the Caravan of American Diabetics invading Canada.  

A source in the Canadian Cabinet, code name “Maple Leaker”, provided Sarkes a summary of that discussion.  “Maple Leaker” reported the options under consideration by the Canadian Cabinet:

Build a Wall – The Canadian Cabinet considered building a Great Big Beautiful Wall to keep out the American Diabetic Invaders. 

Impose Tariffs – While Insulin is offered “over the counter” with no prescription, the Cabinet considered requiring Canadian Pharmacies to require a I.D. to buy Canadian Insulin.  If an American wants to buy the Canadian Insulin, a 1,000 percent Tariff would be imposed. 

Increase Insulin Production – Many in the Canadian Cabinet advocated that American Diabetics are NO threat to Canada.  These Invaders buy their Insulin and return to the United States, they do not want to stay in Canada due to the high Tax rate.  They also argued that since many Diabetics are over weight, they will spend money at Canadian restaurants.  

Import Insulin from China – The Canadian Cabinet discussed addressing the impact on Canadian Insulin production by importing Insulin from China and selling Chinese Insulin to the American Diabetic Invaders. 

The Canadian Cabinet is very Diverse while the American Cabinet is mostly all Rich, Old, White Men

After being informed about the Invasion of Canada by American Diabetics, the Orange Physician Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 4:56AM

I am the Fittest President EVER EVER in the history of the US, so I don’t know much about Insulin.  But my people tell me that Insulin produced in the US is of the highest Quality and superior to Canadian Insulin.  Our American Pharmaceutical Companies, Insurance Companies, and their CEO’s, are entitled to make a FAIR Profit for developing High Quality Insulin.  

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 5:17AM

Canadian Insulin is NOT that much cheaper than US Insulin.  This is FAKE NEWS by the Canadian Broadcast Corporation (CBC).  Like my Russian friend  Vlads and I discussed at the G20, there is FAKE NEWS Everywhere, but more so in Liberal countries like Canada. FAKE FAKE FAKE!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 5:38AM

I bumped into that Panty Waist Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau at the G20 and told him to STOP luring American Diabetics to Canada with Cheap, Fake, Insulin.  I told Trudeau if he did not stop luring American Diabetics to Canada that I would put Uuuuuge Tariffs on Canadian imports which are inferior to American products anyway. 

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 5:53AM

The Canadians claim that they invented Insulin in 1923, DID NOT HAPPEN!!, FAKE NEWS again.  Like all Great medicines, Insulin was invented by an American in 1905.  Don’t believe what you read from the Canadian Broadcast Corporation, they are no better and probably worse than the Failed CNN, New York Time, and Washington Post. 

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 6:14AM

Liberal Democrats want you to believe that Canadian Insulin is cheaper and just as good as American Insulin.  DO NOT BELIVE THEM.  This is another lie and Liberal strategy to try to win the 2020 Presidential Election.  These Liberals want to take away your Fairly Priced, Great Value, private medical insurance, and to put our Great American Insurance Companies out of business.  The Liberals want to force you to get your medical care in a system like Canada.  DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN, vote straight Republican in 2020.  I alone have Made America Great Again, we now need to Keep America Great!!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 6:28AM

I am trying to get a hold of Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan to immediately order Troops to our Northern Border with Canada to protect our American Diabetics.  He is not answering his phone.  Shanahan, when you read this give me a call IMMEDIATELY!  Sarah Sanders, get on the horn and have Shanahan give me a call.

The Orange MD is not happy with Canada selling cheap, inferior Insulin to American Diabetics and has warned Trudeau to stop immediately  

Limbaugh Sticks it to Stan Kroenke

Executive Summary:

  • Stan Kroenke owes the St. Louis Rams PSL Holders $24M
  • US District Judge Stephen Limbaugh, not Rush, stuck it to Stan

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Special Correspondent Cindy Mamelian for this breaking news out of St. Louis.

It is now official: Stan Kroenke owes former St. Louis Rams Personal Seat License (PSL) holders $24 million for leaving town and not honoring those PSL contracts.

What is a PSL?  A PSL is a fee that entitles the holder the right to buy a Season Ticket for a seat in a Stadium.  PSLs started in 1983 with the construction of the then Carolinas Stadium, home of the NFL Carolina Panthers.    The PSLs, started with the Carolinas Stadium, opened the Flood Gates and now all Sports Stadiums built since have held their Loyal Fans hostage by bilking them out of Billions of dollars in PSL Fees.  

In 1995, Sarkes and Chris, along with Chris’ parents, were original PSL holders for the St. Louis Rams.  We paid $1,000 per PSL for the privilege to buy Season Tickets to the then pitiful Rams.  

Chris enjoyed watching the Greatest Show on Turf
At one time, Sarkes owned much St. Louis Rams merchandise

Alas, there were good times for the St. Louis Rams during the Dick Vermeil / Mike Martz era when the Greatest Show on Turf went to two Super Bowls, winning Super Bowl XXXIV.

The Greatest Show on Turf featured all time NFL Greats Kurt Warner, Marshall Falk, Issac Bruce (Bruuuuuce), Tori Holt, Ricky Proehl, more

But Sarkes digresses, so back on point.  US District Judge Stephen Limbaugh gave final approval to the class action lawsuit brought against Kroenke and the Rams this week.  Judge Limbaugh is a cousin to Right Wing Icon Rush Limbaugh.  It is unclear if Judge Stephen Limbaugh is a Conservative cut from the same bolt of cloth as his cousin Rush, Ronald Reagan, and the Orange Dotard.  

Mega Ditto Rush Limbaugh and the Orange Bull Horn are Conservative Icons

St. Louis Rams PSL holders will get 30 percent of their original purchase price, which represents a refund for the nine years that remained on the 30-year license when the Rams left for Los Angeles in 2016.  Sarkes and Chris gave up their PSLs when moving full time to the Gunshine State so will not benefit from this windfall.

Pond Scum Stan Kronke moved the Rams to Los Angeles in 2016 after 20 years in St. Louis

The Rams were still in St. Louis when Greedy Stan Kronke started selling LA Rams merchandise

You know Stan Kronke, native Missourian, named after Cardinal great Stan Musial, and one of the most despicable of ALL despicable owners of Sports franchises.  

In order to justify the move of the Rams to Los Angeles, Pond Scum Kronke convinced the other Greedy NFL Owners that St. Louis could not support an NFL team and that the St. Louis Football stadium was insufficient.  Hey Stan, you Piece of Excrement, the St. Louis Football stadium was sufficient when the Greatest Show on Turf was winning Championships and a Super Bowl.

You would think with all of his money, Stan Kronke could afford a better hair piece

Stan Kronke made his money the old fashioned way, he married an Heiress to the Sam Walton fortune.  Today, Stan Kronke’s net worth is over $9 Billion, $9 Billion, almost as much as the Orange Stable Genius.   But wait, that’s not all.  Stan Kronke’s wife, Ann Walton Kronke, Heiress to the Sam Walton fortune, is worth $7.5 Billion herself.  

Don’t worry about Ann Walton Kronke, she is independently wealthy

Don’t fret for Stan Kronke and his wife Ann Walton, while $24 Million cannot be comprehended by most Sarkes Corner readers, this is but a drop in the bucket, noise level if you will, for Stan Kronke.  What Stan Kronke needs to worry about is his Shrine, the new LA Rams Stadium.  Kronkes new Royal Residence, being financed by Stan Kronke and his wife All Walton, was originally budgeted at $2.6 BILLION, is now estimated to cost over $4 BILLION at completion.

The new LA Rams Stadium is way over budget and behind schedule

The Blues Win The Stanley Cup!

The Blue Note has long been the symbol of the St. Louis Hockey Blues

This Special Edition of Sarkes Corner is brought to you by the Newly created Sarkes Corner Sports Bureau. 

The St. Louis Blues came into the National Hockey League (NHL) in 1967.  While the Blues never really stunk, they have never won the Stanley Cup until now.  After 52 years, the Blues beat the Boston Bruins for the Stanley Cup.

After 52 years, the St. Louis Blues finally win the Stanley Cup

The victory parade for the Blues was like none other ever held in St. Louis, even greater than the 11 previous parades the followed World Series Wins by the St. Louis Baseball Cardinals.  It was anticipated that 500,000 Hockey fans would show up for the Rally and Parade, but the St. Louis Post-Dispatch estimated that close to 1 Million Fans attended the Rally and Parade.

St. Louis, Sarkeses hometown, is in Missouri, formally the Show Me State and now better known as the Shoot Me State.  So, what’s even more surprising than the close to 1 Million Fans attending the Rally and Parade, most of them packing Heat, is the fact that NO ONE GOT SHOT!  Given the mass quantities of local Anheuser-Busch products consumed, this is nothing short of a miracle. 

There was a mass of humanity from the St. Louis Arch grounds reaching all the way into downtown.  It is estimated that there was 2 times as many people for the Blues Rally and Parade than for the Orange Cross-Checker’s Inauguration on the National Mall. 

Fans started assembling on the Arch Grounds

More people attended the Blues Rally and Parade that attended the Orange Faceoff’s Inauguration on the National Mall

Uuuuuuge Crowds showed up for the Blues Rally and Parade

A plethora of Celebrities attended the Blues Rally and Parade including St. Louies; Jon Hamm (Mad Men), Jenna Fischer (The Office), and the Anheuser-Busch Clydesdales.  Also, many past St. Louis Blues from yesteryear attended including The Golden Brett, Brett Hull.

Brett Hull was a St. Louis Blue for 10 years but now loves his Budweiser and has a hard time lacing up his skates

While the St. Louis Blues fans were celebrating their first Stanley Cup, the Piece of Excrement and Pond Scum known as Stan Kronke could not be forgotten.  Stan Kronke, the unethical and despicable owner of the Los Angels Rams, made his money the Old Fashioned Way, he married Sam Waltons daughter.  

Despicable Kronke lied when he said that  St. Louis Sports Fans do not support their teams

Even in jubilation, the St. Louis fans can take a Shot at Pond Scum Stan Kronke

Shortly after the Blues secured the Stanley Cup, the Orange Slap Shot started tweeting:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 17@ 4:56AM

Congratulations to the St. Louis Blues for finally winning the Stanley Cup.  For a half century, the Blues were Looooosers, Looooosers.  After I won Missouri by a record vote in the 2016 Election, the Blues became Winners!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 17@ 5:09AM

I was a star Hockey player at the University of Pennsylvania and could have been a star in the NHL had it not been for my Bone Spurs.  If I had played for the Blues, it would not have taken them 52 years to win the Stanley Cup.

The Orange Puck could have been a Bigger star than Wayne Gretsky had it not been for his Bone Spurs

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 17@ 5:23AM

I suspect that there will be 1000 per cent participation by the St. Louis Blues when I invite them to the White House.  There are no Blacks or Mexicans playing for the St. Louis Blues.   While the Blues are loaded with Canadians, if that Panty Waist Justin Trudeau tries to keep the Canadian Blues from coming to the White House I will hit Canada with so many Tariffs that their heads will spin.

The St. Louis Blues are 1000 Percent White, but do have many Canadians on the team

Canadian Prime Minister JustinTrudeau is a Panty Waist with a Limp Wrist Handshake

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 17@ 6:01AM

The failed St. Louis Post-Dispatch, another Fake Newspaper like the New York Times and Washington Post, reported that close to 1 million Fans attended the Blues Rally and Parade which was several times more than attended my inauguration.  Everyone knows that more people attended my Inauguration than ANY OTHER EVENT IN HISTORY, no other event came close, even the Rally in St. Louis. FAKE NEWS. Should be renamed the St. Louis Post-Disgrace.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is a Failed, Fake News, Liberal media, All Lies, All The Time

Cracker Endorses Cadillacs

Executive Summary:

  • A 70-year-old Florida Cracker was driving on a highway standing through the sun roof, and speeding over 100 mph
  • Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Bureau Chief and sister Cindy Mamelian for another bizarre story about a Florida Cracker, aka, Florida Man.

A Florida Cracker is normally a docile species, Salt of the Earth if you will.  But, when a Florida Cracker starts drinking or taking drugs, it’s all bets off.  The Florida Cracker hopped-up is an accident waiting to happen. Normally the hopped-up Cracker wrecks havoc with a Gun or Knife.  That is not the case here.

Florida Highway Patrol Troopers arrested 70 year old Cracker Leonard Olsen after he was seen standing through a sun roof as the car continued to speed down Interstate 4 in Polk County.

Cracker Olsen driving down the highway, Hands Free

An off-duty Hillsborough County Sheriff’s deputy was behind Cracker Olsen when he stood up while driving westbound on I-4 at a high rate of speed.  Video captured Olsen standing up in a White Cadillac with his arms spread open.  The fact that this Cracker was driving a Cadillac is in itself strange, as we know that the vehicle of choice for Crackers are Pick Up Trucks with Gun Racks.  

In a sworn witness interview, the Hillsborough County Deputy said Oslen “bounced back and forth in the center lane…and sped up to over 100 miles per hour and slowed to about 40 miles per hour.”

When asked why he did it, Cracker Olsen told troopers he wanted to praise God.  “I thought it would be a nice way to praise God for a minute, and I thought it would be nice at the time and that’s what I did.”  Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

Cracker Olsen was just praising our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, God Bless

Justifying why he was not danger to the public, Cracker Olsen went on say:  “The car drivers itself and has a gigantic computer in it.”   Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

The new Cadillacs drive themselves and have Gigantic Computers 


Authorities might have determined Cracker Olsen’s motive when he said: “My wife treats me like a servant and she’s the mistress, Lock me up, I’d rather go to jail than go back home.”    Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

Cracker Olsen was charged with reckless driving.  He remains in the Polk County Jail on a $21,000 bond as his wife refused to post his Bail.

Cracker Olsen cannot post bail and sits in the Hoosegow

More Cracker Antics

Executive Summary:

  • A Florida Crackerette pulled an alligator out of her pants during a traffic stop in Punta Gorda, FL.
  • Sarkes provides details left out of the national news reports of this story.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Charlotte County Sheriffs Deputies and Florida Wildlife officials had to investigate a routine traffic stop in Punta Gorda, FL which is 45 miles north of Sarkeses Crib in Bontia Springs, FL. 

In the past, Sarkes has reported on Crackeretts hiding many things down their pants and in their Vaginas, including drugs and Heat (Guns).  But hiding a wild, Foot Long alligator by her Snatch is a first for Sarkes. 

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Beat Reporter and sister Cindy Mamelian for another bizarre story of antics by the Florida Cracker.  

Florida Cracker Michael Cody Clemons and Crackerette Ariel Michelle Marchan-Le Quire were driving a Blue Chevy Pickup truck in Punta Gorda when they ran a Stop sign at 3:15 am.  The Pickup truck is the vehicle of choice for the Florida Cracker, usually with a gun rack.  

The Pickup Truck, with Gun Rack, is the vehicle of choice for the Cracker

When Charlotte County Sheriffs Deputies questioned Cracker Clemons, he said he and Marchan-Le Quire had been collecting frogs and snakes from under a nearby overpass.  When asked to see what they had captured, Cracker Clemons showed the Deputies a sack of 41 small three-stripe turtles.

41 small three-stripe turtles were rescued from the Cracker Perps

The Deputies then asked, “Do you have anything else?”  At that, Marchan-Le Quire pulled a foot-long alligator out of the yoga pants she was wearing. 

This foot long alligator was being hidden in the Yoga pants of the Crackerette Marchan-Le Quire

According to the incident report, the state’s Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission seized the animals and released them back into the wild. Cracker Clemons and Crackerette Marchan-Le Quire were cited for violations of state wildlife laws.

Now that is all on this story one would get if reading the standard news outlets.  But Sarkes Corner, Fair and Balanced, digs deeper when something doesn’t smell right, like the stench of wild turtles and an alligator.

After filing a request under the Freedom of Information Act, the Charlotte County Sheriffs office provide Sarkes a copy of the Police Report of this incident.  

From the Charlotte County Sheriffs police report, Sarkes learned that:

  • Sheriffs deputies approached the Pickup truck with caution given that it was 3:15 am and the Pickup had just ran a Stop sign.
  • The deputies reported that Cracker Clemons was cooperative but that something did not seem right with the passenger.
  • Deputies stated that while the passenger looked like a women (they spotted Ta Tas, the passenger also had a bulge in his/her pants.
  • Not yet having gone thru the required training for Florida Deputies on how to address Transgender Perps, these Charlotte County Sheriffs Deputies called for Back Up.
  • The Deputies were relieved when Crackerette Marchan-Le Quire pulled the Foot Long Gator out of here pants.

Sarkes ponders that when the incident was over, did the relieved Charlotte County Deputy reflect on that classic quote from iconic actress Mae West when she said:  “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

In her hay day, all men were happy to see Mae West

“Many People Say” Sarkes, did the Orange Lothario Tap Mae West?  Since Mae West died in 1980, it’s quite possible as Mae West was Blonde with Big Ta Tas, but we may never know.

It is quite possible that the Orange Bird Dog has Tapped Mae West as she was Blonde with Big Ta Tas

Sarkes Corner – Picnicking While Black in America

Executive Summary:

  • This is the 12th in the Soon to be Award Winning Series of “XXXX” While Black in America”.  Previous editions documented “Baby Sitting While Black”, “Black and Living in a Luxury Condo”, “Gardening While Black”,  “Cashing a Check While Black”, “Wrestling While Black”, “Calling While Black”, “Waiting for AAA While Black”, “Eating Yogurt While Black”, “Taking the SAT While Black”, “Picking up Trash While Black” and “Moving While Black”
  • In this edition, a White Woman pulled out her Heat on a Black Couple trying to enjoy a picnic

Is it just Sarkes or does it seem like the Black Man (and Woman) have increasingly become victims of being harassed for no other reason than they are Black in a White Man’s world.  This Sarkes Corner is the 12th installment, in less than a year, in a soon to be Award Winning series of “Blacks in White America”.  Sarkes anticipates a Pulitzer or maybe even a Nobel Prize for this powerful series.

Sarkes also questions the timing of these incidents with the rise of the “Salt of the Earth” Americans, empowered by the Orange Profit, all who proudly wear their Red Make America Great Again hats.  “Many People Say” that these Great MAGA Hat-wearing Americans are NOT RACISTS!.  Rather, they have a legitimate reason to confront the Black Man in places where they do not normally go.  Hmmmmmm.

White MAGA Hat-wearing Americans ARE NOT RACISTS!

A White Campground Worker in Starkville, Mississippi was fired this week after she was caught on video pulling a gun on a Black couple and ordering them to leave the Campground.  The Black victims, Jessica and Franklin Richardson, decided to go to the lake to have a picnic. Not five minutes after arriving at the lake, a Pick Up truck pulled up and a White Lady screamed at the Black Couple, jumping out of her pickup truck with a Gun.

The White Heat-packing Woman pulled out her Heat against the Black Couple

The Black couple had stumbled into an area near the lake that is owned by Starkville Kampgrounds of America (KOA) and is technically private property. Black Woman Richardson stated; “This lady literally just pulled a gun on us because we’re out here and didn’t have reservations.”  After looking down the Barrel of a pistol, Black Woman Richardson told the White Woman; “All you had to do was tell us … We would have left. You didn’t have to pull a gun.”

The Richardsons are Black and like to Picnic

KOA released a statement Tuesday saying the White employee had been fired after Richardson’s video went viral.  “KOA does not condone the use of a firearm in any manner on our properties or those owned and operated by our franchises,” said group spokesman Mike Gast. “The employee involved in the incident has been relieved of her duties.”

Apparently few Black people camp at the KOA in Starkville, MS

Another Senseless Mass Shooting: Virginia Beach, VA

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes uses his Mass Shooting Standard Form
  • This time, the Mass Shooting was in the Virginia Beach, VA

Another Mass Murder, this time, by an angry BLACK MAN!, has happened.  In this case, the Mass Murder was in (Fill in the Location) Virginia Beach, VA.

Sarkes Notes:  Mass shootings were once the exclusive domain of the Angry White Man packing Heat.  With this Mass shooting, the Angry Black Man has joined this once exclusive Club, sort of like the Black Man and Women being allowed to join White Country Clubs.  

The Mass Murder happened at the (Fill in the venue, example: school, mall, church, concert) the Virginia Beach Municipal Building.  

(Fill in the number of innocent people killed) 12 people were murdered and 4 were injured. 

Angry Black Man DeWayne Craddock was an Engineer

The Mass Murderer, an angry Black Man (Fill in the Murders Name and other details) DeWayne Craddock, was an Engineer working for Virginia Beach and a disgruntled employee.

.45 Caliber Pistol with Suppressor and Extended Magazine

The Mass Murderer used (Identify the weapon used) legally purchased .45 Caliber pistols with Suppressors and Extended Magazines

Shortly after the Mass Murder:

The Angry Black Man Mass Murderer (Select one: killed himself, was killed by Police, was Captured by Police) was killed by Police

  • A spokesman for the NRA said:  “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”
  • President Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If there was an Armed Guard at Virginia Beach Municipal Center the results would have been far better.”
  • The President of the NRA said:  “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” 
  • A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “These Mass Murders with Heat weapons are just the price of our Freedom” 
  • Countless Politicians said:  “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”
  • Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, what do you expect”.

That’s if for this latest Mass Murder packing Heat.  Sarkeses use of the Standard Form makes reporting the next Mass Murder much easier. 

Trump and Sarkes, 2 Peas in a Pod?

Executive Summary:

  • Is it possible that the Orange Cantaloupe and Sarkes have enough in Common that they are 2 Peas in a Pod?

“Many People Say” Sarkes, you and the Orange Jumpsuit have so much in common that you are 2 Peas in a Pod.

At first, Sarkes was in Full Denial.  How could this be?  Sarkes, a Truth Machine, stepped away from this story and asked his Crack Sarkes Corner Investigative Team to investigate.

In a somber meeting at the Sarkes Corner Headquarters, the Harsh Facts were laid out for Sarkes by the Sarkes Corner Investigative Team:

1. Sarkes and the Orange Creamsicle were both Democrats before becoming Republicans. 

Both Sarkes and the Orange Donkey were Liberal Democrats who saw the light and became Conservative Republicans

2. Not only did Sarkes and the Orange Ameba switched to become Republicans, both became staunch Reagan Conservatives.

Sarkes and the Orange Orangutan are Ultra Conservatives, walking in the foot steps of the Great Conservative Ronald Reagan

3. The Orange Commander in Tweets and Sarkes did not serve in the Viet Nam War. The Orange Podiatrist had Bone Spurs and Sarkes had a High Draft Lottery Number (Young Subscribers to Sarkes Corner need to Google “Viet Nam Era Draft Lottery” for details).

To this day, the Orange Orthopedic suffers from Bone Spurs which are so painful that he cannot sleep, so he Tweets

Sarkeses Draft Lottery Number was 288 out of 365 so he was not drafted

4. The Orange Exalted Leader and Sarkes have both been the Victims of Investigations.  The Orange Goliath was victimized by Mueller and the 17 “Angry Democrats”.   Sarkes was investigated by the “16 Angry Sweeds” on the Nobel Committee for Plagiarism while writing the Award Winning Sarkes Corner.  Both Investigations were Phony, a Hoax, Hit Job, Witch Hunt, Failed Takedown, Treasonous, and a Thousand Stabs, a Thousand.

The Orange Victim was the target of 17 Angry Democrats and was COMPLETELY EXONERATED!

Sarkes was falsely accused by the 16 Angry Sweeds on the Nobel Committee, all of whom are White, investigating Sarkes, a Brown Man

5. Both Sarkes and the Orange Flag Stick love to play Golf.  The Orange Divot uses the USGA Rules of Golf and Cheats to get his Low Handicap.  Sarkes uses the Eric Pedersen Rules of Golf but still has a High Handicap.

While the Orange Sand Trap has the skill, Bone Spurs have kept the Orange Bogey from becoming a Pro Golfer

6.  Both Sarkes and the Orange Tangerine are Colored.  Trump is Orange and Sarkes is a Brown Man.  Being people of Color has not stopped the Orange Zest or Sarkes from accomplishing great things.

The Orange Bully Making America Great Again one Tweeter at a Time

Brown Sarkes Making America Great Again one Sarkes Corner at a Time

7. Both the Orange Einstein and Sarkes are Extremely STABLE GENIUSES.  The Orange Monarchs Lackeys are often paraded in front of the Fox News Cameras to give testimony on the Genius of the Orange Intellect.  On the other hand, Sarkeses Genius is demonstrated in Sarkes Corner.  

Trump, Sarkes and Einstein are 3 Peas in a Stable Genius Pod, Trump and Einstein have similar Hair Styles

The Orange Merchandiser has added a ‘Stable Genius” line of clothes in his Trump Enterprises Catalog 

8. The Orange Pacifier and Sarkes are always Cool and Calm.  At a recent Sarkes Corner Staff Meeting, Sarkes took a poll of the Sarkes Corner staff and was told:

  • “Sarkes, You were very Calm, and you laid out the case”
  • “You are Calm, very Calm”
  • “You are always Calm”
  • “I don’t know how you stay so Calm”
The Orange Pacifier is always Calm, Very Calm, just ask him

Sarkes, a perennial finalist for the Nobel Prize in Mathematics, can make an inference from only 1 Data Point.  Here, the Sarkes Corner Staff has provided 8 Data Points, 8!,  that the Orange Tabby and Sarkes have much in common.  Now that’s powerful, indisputable Data.

Well, there you have it, the Harsh Truth, Proof Positive that the Orange Crush and Sarkes are indeed, 2 Peas in a Pod.

Sarkes and the Orange Nehi, 2 Peas in a Pod