Missouri – The Show MEAT State

Executive Summary:

– The Bright Red Missouri Legislature has passed a law protecting citizens from unwittingly buying Fake Meat, yes, Fake Meat

– Missouri, formerly the Show Me State, and now called the SHOOT Me State, can now be called the SHOW MEAT STATE

Sarkes thanks New Mexico University Professor Todd Ruecker; Sarkes Corner Contributor, Intellect, and Missouri Native, for this story from the Bright Red Missouri Legislature.

Like Sarkes, Professor Ruecker was born and raised in Missouri. Both Sarkes and Professor Ruecker watch the happenings in our home state with horror. Missouri, a once proud “Swing State”, has morphed into one of the Brightest Red states of our Union.

In all fairness, the former Show Me State’s conversion to a bastion of Conservatism cannot be blamed on the Orange Jumpsuit. Rather, George Bush 2 can take credit for Missouri’s transformation. George 2 flushed Right Wing Christian Fundamentalists out of the closet and they voted in mass during his 2000 Presidential Election victory.

George Bush 2 flushed out the Christian Fundamentalist in the 2000 Election

But the formal recognition of Missouri’s conversion as a Bright Red state was when Mizzou joined the SEC in 2012. Missouri is now peas in a Pod with the likes of Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Kentucky, South Carolina and Tennessee. The SEC, Football first, Basketball second, Education not needed.

Missouri Officially became a Bright Red State when Mizzou joined the SEC

Missouri is a state where most of it’s residents are Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural, White, Folk, i.e., the Goldie Locks Base. Also, the Southwest quadrant of Missouri is the epicenter of the Bible Belt, with countless Mega Churches lining Interstate 44 around Springfield.

A Mega Church in SW Missouri, Ground Zero for the Bible Belt, God Bless

Having finished their work to make Missouri the friendliest state to Pack Heat, the Shoot Me State’s Bright Red Legislature put their cross hairs on another inalienable right, the Right to Eat Real Meat.

Rural Missourians are not too bright, so the Missouri Legislature was apparently unsure if their citizens could identify Real Meat. So the Missouri Legislature enacted the first law in the nation prohibiting food producers from using the word “Meat” to describe anything “that is not derived from harvested production livestock or poultry,”.

Huh, what, uh, oh my, duh, are you s – – ting me!

Sarkes believes that the Bright Red Missouri Legislature is not giving it’s citizens enough credit. Sarkes, born and raised in Missouri, can confidently say that Missourians will not be deceived, Missourians know Real Meat.

This Missourian does NOT need a Label to know Real Meat
This Missourian enjoying a Tasty burger like the Orange Ground Round

State lawmakers and industry trade groups contend the law was necessary to protect Missourians from being misled by meat alternatives.

The Show Meat law puts the heat on plant-based meat alternatives which now must strike “meat” from their marketing materials.

No one can mistake Tofurkey for Real Meat

The Missouri Law prohibiting food producers from using the word “Meat” to describe anything “that is not derived from harvested production livestock or poultry,” is yet another example of a Bright Red GOP Legislature finding a solution to a problem that does not exist.

Subscribers to Sarkes Corner can now feel protected when they travel to or through Missouri. Not only can you feel safe knowing that most of the people around you will be Packing Concealed Heat, but you can rest assured that you are eating Real Meat.

Trump’s Eulogy for John McCain

Executive Summary:

– A Source in the White House, Leaker, leaked a copy of the Orange Orators planned Eulogy for John McCain’s Memorial Service

– Alas, the Golden Preacher was not invited so the Eulogy was not delivered

The Orange Orator writes a Eulogy to John McCain

First, Sarkes is a upset. Sarkes had thought that his Source in the White House, Leaker, was feeding Sarkes and Sarkes Corner EXCLUSIVE stories out of the White House.

In this case, Leaker sent a copy of the Orange Pontificators Eulogy to Tom Toles of the Washington Post. Perhaps the Washington Post, owned by Billionaire Jeff Bezos, offered more money to Leaker than Sarkes for this story. Sarkes pays NO money for stories as Sarkes Corner is a low budget operation.

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributors, Ashok Agrawal and Peggy Morgan, Subscribers to the Washington Post, for sending this to Sarkes.

Washington Post publishes Trumps Eulogy

In any case, the Eulogy was never delivered as the Golden Mouthpiece was not invited to John McCain’s Memorial Service at the National Cathedral. All was not lost, the Orange Duffer was able to get in a round of golf at his Trump International Golf course in Virginia.

The Orange Duffer gets a round in during the Memorial Service

WARNING WARNING WARNING: Since the Orange Windbag is wordy, his planned Eulogy to John McCain below is long, but worth the read. WARNING WARNING WARNING

Published by Tom Toles in the Washington Post:

Donald Trump’s Eulogy to John McCain (Draft, never delivered)

We are gathered here today to listen to me speak. I have many things to say, all of them valuable. And true. Very, very true. No Fake News like the Enemy of the People.

We have been reminded that life does not last forever, but I should point out to you that I myself am very much still alive, both personally and politically. I am the healthiest President in History. The angry Democrats working for the out-of-control Mueller investigation have done their best, in their Witch Hunt, to hurt me politically, but here I am. I have accomplished more than any other President in History, History!

But enough about me. We are here to remember what John McCain thought about me. Not enough. They say “speak no ill of the dead,” but what about “speak no ill of the president”? That’s important, too. More important. Not everybody seems to have heard it.

A lot has been said already about heroism and loyalty. As for loyalty, Sen. McCain wasn’t loyal to me. And I shouldn’t need to point out that I won the presidency, and he didn’t. But I will point it out, because it’s true. And I won with the largest majority in U.S. history, larger even than the majority won by the legendary Abe Lincoln and all the other Republican presidents — put together. Sen. McCain didn’t win at all, and some call him a hero!

What is heroism? Heroism is having the courage to put the White House flag back up to full-staff, even as disloyal aides kept trying to keep it at half-staff. Half-staff is surrender, essentially the same as being captured in war, like McCain. Where was his loyalty to me, where was he? Disloyal. Put the flag back up to full-staff.

I don’t mean to be critical. We have to remember that we are all Americans, and that as Americans we need to come together and support the president, no matter the personal sacrifice required. When we think of sacrifice, we should think of making them for me. I do. I sacrifice every day for me and my family.

Yes, Sen. McCain and I had our disagreements, but at the end of the day, I won the all the arguments, by a record amount. So let the American flag fly proudly, over my office, at full-staff, and let that be a lesson to you all. Goodby John McCain, we can now repeal ObamaCare.

(End of Eulogy)

Jeff Sessions is Mixed Up

Executive Summary:

– Jeff Sessions ridicules child separation Critics, Liberals, and the Fake News Media, as ‘“lunatic fringe” living in “gated communities”

– Sessions got this one wrong.

Editorial Note: This Sarkes Corner was scheduled to be published on Thursday, August 30, but has been brought forward. Sarkeses “man on the street” in Washington, DC, Ashook Agrawal, has information that the Orange Sacker is going to Fire Jeff Sessions any day now.

The Orange Sacker Gives’m The Old Heave Ho

After saying that Obama made them separate immigrant children from their parents, the Orange Emperor said that his hands were tied and that congress must fix the problem. Later the Golden ICE Agent took charge and signed an Executive Order to stop separating children from their criminal parents on the Border.

But after that, with every interview with Sarah Sanders, Kirstjen Nielsen, and Jeff Sessions, it seemed that the American People were getting the old smoke and mirrors, shell game, conflicting explanations.

Trying to clear this all up for the American People, Jeff Sessions tried out a new approach to explaining the Children Separation issue:

Sessions attacked the Progressive Liberals and Fake News Media: “These same people live in gated communities, many of them, and are featured at events where you have to have an ID to even come in.”

Sessions continued: “They like a little security around themselves, and if you try to scale the fence, believe me, they’ll be even too happy to have you arrested and separated from your children.”

Sorry Jeff, you got this one wrong. Very few Progressive Liberals and Fake News Media live in Gated Communities. In fact, most upscale Gated Communities are so expensive that only Old, White, Rich, Americans, i.e., Conservative Republicans, live there. Maybe the Orange Dotard is justified calling you Mr. Magoo. Young Subscribers to Sarkes Corner need to Google “Mr. Magoo” for details.

The Golden Dotard calls Jeff Sessions Mr. Magoo

Jeff Sessions, listen and learn. Sarkes will use his own Gated, Guarded, Community in Bonita Springs, Fl, Spring Run in the Brooks, as an example.

– Spring Run in the Brooks has 845 homes. It is estimated that less than 3% of these homes are inhabited by Liberals. And, 3% may be inflating the numbers, like Obama inflated the Economic indicators during his presidency. Finding a Liberal in Spring Run in the Brooks is like finding a Needle in a Hay Stack

Finding a Liberal in Spring Run is like finding a Needle in a Hay Stack

– Yes, Spring Run in the Brooks is gated and has guards, but if the Poor attempt to Breech the walls of Spring Run, our guards will call the Lee County Sheriffs who will apprehend the Perps. The Lee County Sheriffs will typically not arrest the Perps and, for sure, will not separate them from their children.

Spring Run in the Brooks has few Liberals

Sarkes wonders if we can trust anyone in the Orange Pinocchio’s Cabinet and Staff for the truth? In Southwest Florida, you won’t find a Liberal (except a few tokens) or Fake News Media in our Gated, Guarded, Golf Course communities. So Jeff, get your facts straight.

Immigrants Should Speak AMERICAN

Executive Summary:

– Sarah Palin Wants Immigrants to Speak AMERICAN

Recently, Sarkes was in deep thought over the Orange ICE Agent’s “Zero Tolerance” position on Immigration, the Separation of Immigrant Children from their parents, and the Muslim Ban approved by the US Supreme Court.

Sarkes got to pondering on how Hispanic Immigrants and Muslim Immigrants today are in the Cross Hairs of White America. The last time Immigrants were in the Cross Hairs of White America was in 1850’s when the Irish immigrated in mass due to the Great Potato Famine.

Sarkes is reminded of that great American film, Blazing Saddles. At the end of that classic movie the White Mayor of the town said: “Alright! We’ll take the n – – – – -s and the chinks, but we DON’T WANT the Irish!”

The Classic Western Blazing Saddles

Sarkes Side Note: Sarkes highly recommends that all should stream Blazing Saddles, it is an American Classic. In fact, the jokes, quips, innuendoes, etc come so fast that one must watch it several times to catch it all.

But Sarkes digresses, back on point.

Sarkes was then reminded of a Sarah Palin Interview on CNN in December 2015. Palin, the Conservative Queen of the GOP, said:

– U.S. immigrants should “speak AMERICAN”

– “We can send a message and say, ‘You want to be in America, A, you’d better be here legally or you’re out of here. B, when you’re here, let’s speak AMERICAN”

GOP Conservative Intellect Sarah Palin

So, here are some facts on Speaking “AMERICAN”:

– The United States has no official language

– 31 GOP Red States in the U.S. have made ENGLISH the official language of the State. Not one state has made AMERICAN the official language of the State. Alas, these GOP Laws are mostly ceremonial as there is no penalty for speaking a language different than ENGLISH,……. or AMERICAN.

Sarkes has been informed by his source in the White House, Leaker, that once the Orange Czar abolishes Roe v Wade, eliminates Affirmative Action, eliminates ObamaCare, and guts Medicare / Medicare / Social Security, the last Legislative initiative of his Great Presidency will be to make “AMERICAN” the official language of America.

Sarkes understands that all Liberals, many Independents, and some Conservatives do not know the “AMERICAN” language. So, as a Public Service, Sarkes provides some examples of speaking “AMERICAN”. For further details, interpretation, please find an Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural, White, guy, the Golden Wheat’s Base”

Below you have the “AMERICAN Speak” followed by the ENGLISH translation.

Bless Your Heart: This is not a term of endearment, rather an insult…go figure.

Fixin’ To: Meaning I plan on doing something but it might take a while.

It Doesn’t Amount to a Hill of Beans: what ever you are talking about is not worth much.

It’s Blowin’ Up a Storm: There’s trouble ahead.

Over Yonder: giving directions.

‘Til the Cows Come Home: Cows take their time doing anything.

If I Had My Druthers: If it was up to me.

I Reckon: I guess, I suppose, I think, I imagine.

If the Creek Don’t Rise: We will be there unless something happens.

Hold Your Horses: Slow down.

Well, I Declare: Said when surprised, unhappy, etc.

Heavens to Betsy: an exclamation of surprise, anger, any emotion.

Hush Your Mouth: Shut Up.

Too Big for His Britches: he has an inflated ego.

Caddywhompus: out of alignment.

Smiling like a Possum eating Shit: I’m happy

Confident that the Orange Fuhrer will accomplish his Legislative Agenda, Language Companies Babble, Rosetta Stone, and others are working hard to create a curriculum to teach all how to speak AMERICAN.

Rosetta Stones new offering on teaching AMERICAN

Witch Hunts and Peas in a Pod

Executive Summary:

– The Orange Sufferer has maintained that he is the target of a Witch Hunt by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller and his band of Democratic Henchman Prosecutors

– Sarkes analyzes the Investigation of Special Prosecutor Ken Starr who had Billary (Bill and Hillary) Clinton in his Cross Hairs, was this a Witch Hunt?

– Are Donald Trump and Bill Clinton 2 Peas in a Pod?

The Golden Victim claims that he is the target of a Witch Hunt in regards to his Presidential Campaign Collusion with the Russian interference in the 2016 Election. The Orange Casualty charges that Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, a Registered Republican turned Demon Dem, is leading the Witch Hunt and has hired a Dozen Democrats who can’t find any Russian Collusion. So now, they are branching off into other areas of the Golden Martyr’s business dealings and personal life. The Mueller Investigation started in May 2017 so it has lated 1 year and 3 months.

Registered Republican turned Demon Dem Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller

Many of Sarkes Corner’s Subscribers are too young to remember the investigation of Billary Clinton by GOP Special Prosecutor Ken Starr. Starr was a Special Prosecutor who was charged with investigating Billary Clinton’s involvement in the failed Whitewater Development Company. Like the Mueller Investigation with the Russian Collusion in the 2016 Elections, the Starr Investigation of Billary Clinton started with Whitewater and then expanded to several aspects of Billary’s business dealings and personal life.

Republican Special Prosecutor Ken Starr nailed Slick Willy Clinton

After the Ken Starr investigation of the Whitewater Development Corporation / Madison Guaranty / and the Rose Law Firm, did not prove any crimes committed by Billary, Ken Starr expanded his investigation into:

Vince Foster’s Suicide: Vince Foster was Clinton’s Deputy White House Council and had been a Partner in the Rose Law Firm (see the Whitewater connection). While working at the White House, he suffered depression and committee suicide. Several conspiracy theories emerged that Billary Clinton was somehow involved in Vince Foster’s death.

Travelgate: The White House travel office controversy was the first major ethics issue of the Clinton White House. Seven employees of the White House Travel Office were fired. The White House stated the firings were done because financial improprieties in the Travel Office operation during previous administrations. But the GOP contended the firings were done to allow friends of Billary Clinton to take over the travel business.

Filegate: This focused on the Clinton Administration gaining improper access to FBI Security Clearance documents. Craig Livingstone, director of the White House’s Office of Personnel Security, improperly requested, and received from the FBI, background reports on several hundred individuals. Conspiracy theorists believe that First Lady Hillary Clinton requested and read the security files for political purposes.

Paula Jones: Her is where Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton screwed up. He was being sued by Paula Jones for sexual harassment. During this proceeding, and under oath, Slick Willy denied ever having sexual relations with White House Intern Monica Lewinsky. This was an important case since the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a sitting U.S. president is not exempt from civil litigation for acts committed outside of public office. Hmmmmmmm

Monica Lewinsky: This is where Ken Starr nailed Slick Willy. Slick Willy was Tapping White House intern Monica Lewinsky, which while consensual, was very inappropriate. But that’s not what got the Slickster in hot water. He was caught in a lie during his testimony in the Paula Jones Law suit AND was charged with Obstruction of Justice as he tried to persuade Monica Lewinsky to submit a false affidavit stating that the two never had sexual relations.

Slick Willy Tapped White House Intern Monica Lewinsky

It took Independent Council Ken Starr from August 1994 until September 1998, that’s 4 years and 1 month, and searching several rabbit holes, before he finally nailed Slick Willy. Slick Willy was Impeached by the US House of Representatives and charged with Perjury and Obstruction of Justice before ultimately being acquitted of all charges by the US Senate.

Using the GOP Ken Starr model for Independent Council investigations, Robert Mueller still has 2 years and 10 months to investigate the Orange Oligarths Russian Collusion or any other rabbit hole he steps into.

So given all that, Sarkes asks: Are Bill Clinton and Donald Trump 2 Peas in a Pod? Let’s see.

– Both are adulterous P-Grabbing Latharios
– Both are habitual Liars
– Both had shady and some say, illegal, Business dealings
– Both were being investigated by an Independent, Special Prosecutor

So Sarkes says Yes, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are 2 Peas in a Pod.

The Donald and Slick Willy
Trump and Slick Willy, 2 Peas in a Pod

Have Florida Crackers Infiltrated South Carolina?

Executive Summary:

– A man with a tattoo of a gun on his face is charged with illegally possessing a gun

A man with a handgun tattooed on his forehead has been charged by South Carolina police with illegally possessing a firearm.

According to Greenville, South Carolina, police, Michael Vines attempted to ditch a loaded .38-caliber revolver after a recent car wreck by throwing it into a grassy area.

Vines is prohibited from Packing Heat, so he had a handgun tattooed on his forehead. Vines, is part of the Orange Howitzers Base, and is another proud, Heat Packing, Great American.

Einstein Michael Vines

When Sarkes first read the story of a White guy with a handgun tattooed on his face, he naturally assumed that this was another great Florida Cracker story. Lowly and Beholy, this story is out of South Carolina!

Sarkes then assumed that Michael Vines may be a Florida Cracker who may have moved to South Carolina, but that is not the case. So, apparently, there are Poor, Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural White guys, i.e., the Golden Glocks Base, in South Carolina also. Who would have thought?

The Golden Glock Packing Heat

A Press Release from the NRA stated: “While we don’t condone the illegal acts of Mr. Vines, we support his right to tattoo a hand gun on his face, and we will vigorously fight any efforts to implement Gun Tattoo Control. While the NRA is all about the 2nd Amendment, all Americans have the Right to tattoo a hand gun anywhere they want on their body as this is a Right protected by the 1st Amendment.”

This may be a first. Sarkes agrees with the NRA. As Americans, we have the Right to do imbecilic things and to look stupid. These are rights guaranteed by our Constitution. Thank you Founding Fathers.

A Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural White Guy, Trumps Base MAGA

Trump 2020, Was Sarkes Wrong?

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes had predicted a Presidential win in 2020 by the Orange Ameba with the Black Vote being the deciding factor.

– Sarkes now admits his prediction might have been premature.

Sarkes had boldly predicted a landslide victory for the Orange Dotard in 2020. “Many People Say, Sarkes, are you nuts. There is a Blue Wave coming and Women will not vote for the Golden P-Grabber”. To that, Sarkes said phooey. Sarkes predicted that while the Orange Sniffer may lose the Woman’s vote, Blacks would come out in record numbers to bring home a Trump victory in 2020. To quote the Golden Hip Hop’s message to Blacks in 2016: “What the Hell do you have to Lose!”.

Sarkes pointed out that influential Blacks had shifted from being Dems to supporting the Orange MLK. Sarkes provided proof:

Angry Black Women, Diamond and Silk, are a powerful force with a message that is reaching Poor, Young, Angry, Black women. Obama can be blamed for the Dems losing the vote of the Poor, Young, Angry, Black Woman as Obama gave them Free phones which they are using to watch Diamond and Silk on U-Tube.

Diamond & Silk with the Orange Dotard, all Thumbs Up

Kenya West, once a Democratic Presidential Candidate, is now firmly in the corner of the Golden Nugget. Kenya West is influential with the Black Hip Hop community and is bringing to the GOP the Poor, Young, Angry Black Man.

The Golden MLK and Kenya West, 2 Angry Hombres

The Black guy in a “Blacks for Trump” White T-shirt is showcased at every one of the Orange Cheeto’s Rallies. This guy has sent a powerful message that Blacks ARE welcome in the GOP, and that the Golden Gloves rallies are not just attended by Angry, Uneducated, Underemployed, Poor, Rural White Folk. Any Black person who is watching Fox News Fair and Balanced has been converted by the “Blacks for Trump” Black guy.

Blacks for Trump welcomed at the Rallies

Omarosa, the Token Black Woman on the Orange Jumpsuits White House staff, was doing an excellent job of being the White House liaison with Black voters, especially Middle and Upper Middle class Blacks. Middle and Upper Middle Class Blacks are flocking to the GOP.

Omarosa and the Orange Sniffer, 1 thumb up and the other grabbing ass

Ben Carson is the Token Black Man in the Golden Parachutes Cabinet. Carson has secured the vote of the Rich, Old, Black Man who see nothing wrong with buying a $30,000 dining room set. While there might not be many Rich, Old, Black Men, Ben Carson has influenced the Upper Middle Class Blacks to vote GOP.

Dr. Ben Carson, Token

“Many People Say, Sarkes, why are you now Flipping, you have provided powerful data to support your prediction that the Orange Monarch will win the 2020 Presidential Election and it’s the Blacks that will bring home this victory.”

Alas, Sarkeses prediction may have been premature. Sarkes did not see this coming, Sarkes is never wrong. What happened?

First of all, the Golden Gate Bridge gave Omarosa the Old Heave Ho. Omarosa, and Angry, Black Woman, is not going quietly. She has hundreds of tapes and videos to prove that the Orange Profit is a Racist. Sarkes knows that one thing that Blacks will not tolerate is Racism. Omarosa’s Old Heave Ho could cost the Golden Globe millions of Black Votes.

Next, Blacks are turning on Ben Carson. There was a Portrait of Ben Carson that used to hang in the hallway of the Archbishop Borders School in Baltimore. The Portrait has a smiling Dr. Ben Carson in surgical scrubs. The Portrait has a Ben Carson quote: “The person who has the most to do with your success is you”

Picture of Ben Carson in Scrubs removed

Archbishop Borders School Principal Alicia Freeman has since moved the Portrait from the school’s second floor hallway to a less visible spot inside a reading room bearing Carson’s name. The reason; Carson’s role in the Trump administration has left many Blacks who admired him feeling betrayed.

So now, Sarkes is not so sure. Will Diamond and Silk, Kenya West, and the Black Guy at Trump Rallies bring enough Black votes to elect the Orange Bobblehead? Will Blacks allegiance to Omarosa and rejection of Ben Carson take away a significant number of Black votes? For now, Sarkes is Flipping and says the 2020 Presidential Election is now too close to call.

Enemies List

Executive Summary:

– Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon had an Enemies List
– Donald “Orange Traffic Cone” Trump has an Enemies List
– Does Sarkes have an Enemies List?

Disgraced President Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon had an Enemies List which included over 100 political opponents, mostly all Democrats. Nixon planned to use his influence as President to have the IRS perform tax audits on his “enemies” and influencing Government organizations to manipulate; grant availability, federal contracts, litigation, etc. In the end, it there is no evidence that Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon, ever implemented his “Enemies” plan, although it is widely speculated that he would have if not forced to resign his Presidency in disgrace.

Thumbs Up, Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon

Current President Donald “Golden Emperor” Trump also has an Enemies List which includes dozen of former Government officials from the Intelligence Community, FBI, CIA, and the Former Free Press. Unlike his predecessor Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon, the Orange Oligarch has taken the first step to eliminating those on his Enemies List by rescinding the Security Clearance of former CIA Chief John Brennen, and outspoken critic of the Golden Goose Stepper.

Thumbs Up, Donald “The Golden Emperor” Trump

In many ways, Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon and the Orange Creamsicle are two peas in a pod.

Nixon and Trump, 2 Peas in a Pod

With all this talk about Enemies List, “Many People Say, Sarkes, do you have an Enemies List?”. Sarkes, a Truth Machine, must sadly admit that indeed, he has an Enemies List. Sarkeses Enemies List is small, just one person – Los Angelas Rams Owner Stan Kronke.

Despicable LA Rams Owner Stan Kronke

You know Stan Kronke, named after St. Louis Icon, Stan “The Man” Musial. Billionaire Stan Kronke made his money the old fashioned way, he married Sam Walton’s daughter and used his money on Real Estate deals extorting cities and states with unreasonable requests for Tax relief. When St. Louis Ram’s Owner Georgia Frontiere died, Kronke started his devious plan to move the St. Louis Rams to Los Angelas which he accomplished in 2016.

Uncommon to his Armenian heritage, Sarkes is calm, mild mannered, under control, and never gets upset. This all changed with Kronke moved the St. Louis Rams to LA.

Kronke is: 1000 Percent Despicable, Psycho, Bad Dude, Bad Hombre, Ashamed, Rigged, Beleaguered, Low Energy, Totally Illegal, Mean, Carnage, Low IQ, Evil, Cowardly, Crazy, Phony, Crooked, Obstructionist, Deplorable, Dumb as a Rock, Failed, Low Rated, Fools, Criminal, Enemy of the People, Seriously Flawed, Thug, Flake, Deranged Animal, Sleepy Eyes, Dog, Covfefe.

In many ways, Stan Kronke and the Golden Exalted Leader are also two peas in a pod.

Trump and Kronke, 2 Peas in a Pod
Nixon, Trump, Kronke, 3 Peas in a Pod

Omarosa v Trump, Tale of the Tape

Executive Summary:

– The fight between Omarosa and the Orange Counter Puncher is on
– Sarkes evaluates the fighters and predicts the winner

The fight between fired White House Advisor Omarosa and the Golden Assailant is on and is shaping to be the greatest fight in history since “The Thrilla in Manila”, Ali v Frazier, and “The Rumble in the Jungle” Ali v Foreman.

The Thrilla in Manila, Ali v Frazier
Rumble in the Jungle Ali v Foreman

Omarosa v Trump will be called “The Romp in the Swamp”. Unlike traditional fights that are held in Boxing arenas and viewed on Pay-For-View, “The Romp in the Swamp” will be fought in Tweeter, TV Interviews, and Press Conferences, all free for all Americans. “The Romp in the Swamp” is yet another example of Making America Great Again, and will make all other countries envious of America.

The Romp in the Swamp Omarosa v Trump

Sarkes Corner Sports Bureau provide the Tale of the Tape for Omarosa and Orange Mercenary.

Measure Omarosa Trump Advantage

Age 44 72 Omarosa

Heigth 6’ 3” 5’ 10” Trump

Weight Slim Lard Ass Omarosa

Reach 69” 61” Trump

Stance Steady Unstable Omarosa

Believability Questionable Habitual Liar Omarosa

Health Fit Un Fit Omarosa

Diet Salads Greasy Burgers Omarosa

Hair Style Conservative Orange Combover Omarosa

Intangible Bully Angry Black Woman Omarosa

With the Tale of the Tape, Sarkes predicts a victory in “The Romp in the Swamp”, in 10 rounds for Omarosa.

Another Senseless Cracker Crime

Executive Summary:

– A man with no arms stabbed a tourist in Miami Beach

– Could this be a windfall for the Perp?

Thanks to Sarkes Corner contributor Steve Moss for this strange Cracker Crime story out of Miami.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. It seems like the number of ways that Crackers can inflict pain on each other is endless. In this case, the victim was a tourist from Chicago.

Miami Beach police say 46-year-old Cracker Jonathan Crenshaw, who has no arms, held a pair of scissors with his feet and stabbed 22-year-old tourist Cesar Coronado just after midnight last week.

Mug Shot of Cracker Crenshaw

Cracker Crenshaw is a well-known Miami Beach street artist who uses his feet to paint. Cracker Crenshaw’s paintings are colorful mosaics that feature eyes, and sell for as much as $60.

Cracker Crenshaw in his Studio

Tourist Coronado and a friend told police that Coronado had only asked for directions before the vicious attack. Tourist Coronado was bleeding from his left arm when he was admitted to a local hospital.

Cracker Crenshaw claimed he acted in self-defense after Coronado punched him in the head. That’s the problem with our judicial system, our jails are filled with innocent people. Alas, in this case, Cracker Crenshaw has had multiple run-ins with police, including violent crime charges like battery on a police officer.

Who knows, maybe Cracker Artist Crenshaw’s street paintings will be more in demand now and the prices could exponentially inflate, just like the Portfolios of us Rich, Old, White, Guys. Unlike the Fake News spewed by the Liberal Press, Trickle Down comes in many different ways and is not just reserved for Rich, Old, White guys.

An Original Crenshaw which could now have a greater value