Sarkes Corner: Iowa Pooch Shoots Owner

Executive Summary:

– Iowa Pooch, Balew, was Packing Heat and accidentally shot his owner.
– Reactions are strong across the country

One of Sarkes Corner’s Core Competencies is reporting on accidental shootings like: Infant on Infant, Infant on Parents, Cracker on Cracker, Dog on Owner, etc. While these stories are tragic, they always generate a passionate discussion on the 2nd Amendment.

Such is this story of an accidental Dog on Owner shooting in Iowa.

An Iowa man, Richard Remme, of Fort Dodge, says his dog inadvertently shot him while they were roughhousing Wednesday.

2nd Amendment Einstein Remme told police he was playing with his dog, Balew, on the couch and tossed the dog off his lap. Remme says that when the Pit Bull-Labrador mix bounded back up, he must have disabled the safety on the gun in his belly band AND stepped on the trigger.

The gun fired, striking one of Remme’s legs. He was treated at a hospital and released later that day. Authorities classified this shooting as an accident and no charges were brought against Balew.

Ft. Dodge police Chief Roger Porter said: “Unfortunately, in this case, you can’t foresee things that can happen, and this was just one of those freak accidents. Wrestling around with your dog, you wouldn’t think it could happen, but it did and it was unfortunate. It could have been a lot worse than it was, so we’re thankful Remme is OK,”

Sarkes believes that something here stinks. What is the probability that Pooch Balew has the skill to disable the Safety on the gun and then pull the trigger, all in a matter of seconds? And, is the Ft. Dodge Police Department covering something up? Hmmmmm, give Sarkes a break.

Shots fired, Dog Owner Down.

Reaction across the country was strong and typical of the aftermath of a Dog on Owner shooting:

The Human Society: The senseless Dog on Owner shooting must stop. Dogs are not protected under our Constitution and have no 2nd Amendment rights. Owners who arm their Dogs should be held accountable and procecuted, its not the Dog’s fault. Dogs and Cats should not have access to guns.

The NRA: Guns don’t kill people, Dogs kill people. This was an accident, the Price of our Freedom. Dogs should be properly trained to Pack Heat. The NRA will vigorously fight any Gun Control legislation that infringes on our citizens, or their Dogs, right to bear arms.

President Trump – The Orange Rifleman: My thoughts and prayers go out to all victims of Dog on Owner shootings. Liberal Democrats will use this tragic accident to take away guns from our Dogs. While I am your President, this will never happen.

2nd Amendment Einstein Remme recovering with Pooch Balew
White Dogs, like White People, Pack Heat
The NRA says that Cats have 2nd Amendment Rights
Poor, Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural Pooches support the Orange Canine

The GOP Lineup is Strong

Executive Summary:

– A Nevada Pimp wins the GOP primary in Nevada
– The Pimp celebrates his win with a famous Hollywood Madam

Sarkes thanks Sarkes Corner Contributor and friend Roy Moses for this great story from Fox News Fair and Balanced out of Nevada.

First of all, Sarkes declares that he cannot make this stuff up. Sarkes Corner is a Truth Machine. Sarkes Corner – No Spin, You Win.

While Sarkes, a recovering Liberal, is enjoying the Tsunami of cash bloating his Portfolio thru Trickle Down, the Orange Brick road to becoming a Card Carrying Conservative Republican is fraught with Pot Holes. It seems as Sarkes takes two steps forward on the Orange Brick Road then one step back.

Pimp Dennis Hof, star of the HBO adult reality series “Cathouse,” won a Republican primary for the Nevada state Legislature on Tuesday, ousting a three-term lawmaker.

Hof celebrated his win at a party in Pahrump, Nevada, with Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss at his side.

GOP Pimp Hof, a Political novice, gives all the credit to the Orange Sniffer saying: “It’s all because Donald Trump was the Christopher Columbus for me, he found the way and I jumped on it.” This kind of testimonial is usually reserved for our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, placing the Golden Pontiff as a pea in the same pod with Jesus.

Hof, a famous author like the Orange Journalist, wrote a book titled “The Art of the Pimp,” and has dubbed himself “The Trump of Pahrump (a city in Nevada)”.

Sarkes is easily confused and his conversion from a Demon Dem Liberal to a Reagan/Trump Conservative has Sarkeses head spinning. Sarkes ponders:
– how does electing Pimps and P-Grabbers align with the GOP position of Family Values?
– how does passing a budget that adds Trillions of dollars to our deficit align with the GOP focus on Fiscal Conservatism?
– how can GOP Lawmakers advocate that businesses should be able to refuse to sell to “Coloreds” or that Diversity is Un-American?

Alas, Sarkes does not panic. His solid, Rich, Old, White, Conservative Florida neighbors are always there to help Sarkes when he hits the curb while navigating the Orange Brick road to becoming a Reagan/Trump Conservative.

Sarkeses Conservative Florida neighbors tell Sarkes to stay laser focused on just one thing – TRICKLE DOWN and the Tsunami of Cash that is pouring into our Portfolios.

GOP Pimp Dennis Hof
GOP Pimp Dennis Hof and his Constiuents
GOP Pimp Hof is an advocate for Health Care Reform
Like the Orange Pulitzer, GOP Pimp is a Best Seller Author
GOP Pimp Hof and supporter Madame Heidi Fleiss

Starting Down The Slippery Slope

Executive Summary:

– GOP Congressional candidate Seth Grossman says that Diversity is a bunch of Crap and Un-American

– Unlike other Politicians who say something stupid and apologize later, Grossman is Doubling Down.

In the last edition of Sarkes Corner, Sarkes reported that South Dakota GOP Bigot Michael Clark believes that businesses should be able to not serve “People of Color” if they choose. Bigot Clark was was motivated and fueled by the recent Supreme Court ruling in favor of the Colorado baker who refused to make cake for a gay wedding.

At that time, Sarkes declared that we are now on the top of the Slippery Slope, and that People of Color BEWARE.

Well, it’s official, we are now heading down that Slippery Slope.

GOP Bigot Seth Grossman, empowered by his recent victory in the Republican primary in New Jersey’s 2nd Congressional District, has shown his true colors by stating that “The whole idea of Diversity Is A Bunch Of Crap And Un-American”.

And instead of apologizing, the New Jersey congressional candidate is Doubling Down. Bigot Grossman continued: “Diversity is an excuse by Democrats, Communists and Socialists, basically, to say that we’re not all created equal, that some people, if somebody is lesser qualified, they will get a job anyway or they’ll get into college anyway because of the tribe that they’re with, what group, what box they fit into.”

In addition to being a Bigot, Seth Grossman apparently failed English Composition in school.

But wait, there’s more. Bigot Grossman Tripled Down stating: “‘Diversity is not a virtue, America did not become great because of diversity.”

Seth Grossman’s campaign slogan was: “Liberty and Prosperity”. Sarkes says that Bigot Grossman should amend that campaign slogan for the general election to “Liberty and Prosperity for White Folk”.

Well, there you have it. GOP Bigots Clark, then Grossman, who’s next. Sarkes repeats: People of Color, Black, Brown, Yellow – BEWARE.

GOP Bigot Seth Grossman
Seth Grossman’s Campaign Slogan: Liberty and Prosperity (for White Folk)
Seth Grossman with other Old White Folk

People of Color BEWARE

Executive Summary:

– A South Dakota GOP lawmaker advocates for businesses to “turn away people of color”

– This is a slippery slope for people of color; Black, Brown, Yellow.

A South Dakota lawmaker on Monday said businesses should be able to turn away customers based on race. South Dakota State Rep. Michael Clark, a Hartford Republican, said business owners should have the final say in who they serve.

Clark, the stereotypical Old, Rich, White Republican, was motivated and fueled by the recent Supreme Court gives victory for Colorado baker who refused to make cake for a gay wedding.

Bigot Clark said: “He should have the opportunity to run his business the way he wants. If he wants to turn away people of color, then that’s his choice. The Supreme Court decision is a win for freedom of speech and freedom of religion”

Bigot Clark continued to place is RIGHT Foot in his mouth: “People shouldn’t be able to use their minority status to bully a business.” And then using the GOP value of Free Enterprise, Bigot Clark maintains: “If the community doesn’t support a store or restaurant that bars colored customers it will put them out of business. The vote of the dollar is very strong,”

Let Sarkes interpret Bigot Clark’s statement:
– It is the RIGHT of Business to be able to turn away people of Color if they wish

– If their White customers don’t agree with the Business that turns away people of Color, the customers can go elsewhere

Many Subscribers of Sarkes Corner are Educated and live in Big Cities / Suburbs. As such, you don’t really know the Rural, White, Uneducated, Underemployed White Folk, i.e., the Orange John Deer’s Base. Bigot Clark IS the Golden Harvest’s Base, and articulates the belief of many White Americans.

Hey Bigot Clark, let Sarkes give you a History lesson. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 outlawed discrimination based on Race, Color, Religion, Sex or National Origin. The LGBT community is not covered by the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which is why many Red States have continually and aggressively fight Equal Rights for LGBTQ’s.

If GOP lawmakers in Bright Red States, or the GOP House / Senate, do End Arounds or Repeal the Civil Rights Act of 1964, this could start a Slippery Slope. People of Color, Women, and Dark Foreigners were subject to discrimination that we tend to forget since it has been 54 years since the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Many Subscribers of Sarkes Corner are too young to remember when People of Color had to use separate; Rest Rooms, Water Fountains, Entrances to Buildings, had to sit in the back of the Bus, could not eat at White Restaurants, more.

If South Dakota GOP Bigot Lawmaker Michael Clark has his way, life for “Coloreds” would revert to pre-Civil Rights Act of 1964. Many People Say, “Sarkes, why are you so passionate about this story”. Well, Sarkes is Brown himself, Sarkes may be the darkest resident of his Gated Community in Bonita Springs, FL. Will Sarkes, a Brown Man, be required to use a Separate entrance to the Club House, will Sarkes be required to Tee off After the Whites, if Sarkes is barred from the Grill Room, where will he eat his Reuben?

“Many People Say” that the Orange Pulp has empowered many Old White Guys to come out of the Closet and to spew their bigotry. South Dakota Bigot Michael Clark is an example. Sarkes declares that we are now on the top of a Slippery Slope. People of Color BEWARE.

South Dakota GOP Lawmaker Bigot Michael Clark
Black People stopped from entering a White Reastuant
Self Explanatory
Self Explanatory
Self Explanatory
Self Explanatory
Black Man using a “Colored” Water Fountain

King Donald the 1st

Executive Summary:

– The Official Presidential Portrait of the Orange Cheese Ball is completed.

– Time Magazine has been given permission to use the Portrait as a cover to their June 18 magazine.

The Golden Gestapo has approved his Official Presidential Portrait which will hang in the White House during his presidency then will be moved to the Smithsonian Portrait Gallery after.

The Orange Oligarch was so happy with the Portrait that he ordered 100 prints which will be hung in Trump Properties across the world.

The June 18 cover of Time Magazine features the Golden Exalted Ruler looking proudly at his Presidential Portrait. Sarkes Corner’s source in the White House, Leaker, has confirmed that the Orange Emperor will use the unveiling of his Presidential Portrait to officially declare that he is the First King of the United States, King Donald the 1st.

King Donald was quoted by Leaker as saying “I have never left something simple like the Constitution stand in my way of my success. I am the greatest President of all time and will be the Greatest King in United States. The People Love me, Women Love Me, Blacks Love Me, Hispanics Love Me, Orientals Love Me, Veterans Love Me, Canadians Love Me, Mexicans Love Me, heck even the Chinese Love Me.”

King Donald the 1st

The Canadians In the War of 1812

Executive Summary:

– Trump invokes the War of 1812 as justification for tariffs in call with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

The Orange Historian and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had a testy phone call over new tariffs imposed by the Trump administration targeting steel and aluminum imports coming from Canada.

Canadian Trudeau pressed the Golden Bull Horn on how he could justify the tariffs as a “national security” issue. The Orange Jumpsuit told Trudeau, “Didn’t you guys burn down the White House?” referring to the War of 1812.

The problem with the Gold Fingers comments to Trudeau is that British troops burned down the White House during the War of 1812. Canada did not exist in 1812. Maybe the Orange Dufus should be placing steel and aluminum tariffs on the United Kingdom.

Trump and Trudeau debating Steel Tariffs
Proof Positive that it was England, not Canada, that burned down the White House

An FBI Shooting Gone Bad

Executive Summary:

– An Off-Duty FBI agent accidentally shoots man while dancing at bar in Denver

An Off-Duty FBI agent was impressing a crowd at a downtown Denver distillery and bar with dance moves and an improvised backflip — until his handgun tumbled out of his waistband holster and a round went off as he picked it up, injuring another club goer.

The victim was hit in the lower leg and taken to a local hospital but is expected to be OK, according to Denver Police. 

It’s unclear whether the FBI agent had been drinking and authorities are awaiting results of blood tests to determine whether alcohol was a factor. Yeah, what is the probability that alcohol was NOT involved!

The federal Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act, enacted in 2004, allows qualified law enforcement officers, and qualified retired law enforcement officers, to carry a concealed firearm in any jurisdiction in the United States, regardless of state or local laws.

The Orange Commander In Tweets chimed in on this issue with a Tweet:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 6 @ 3:56AM
FBI Agents dancing and doing backflips with loaded firearms all started with Comey and Obama. This will stop under my watch. This would have never happened under J. Edgar Hoover, now that was a man’s man, not a panty waist like the current FBI agents.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 6 @ 4:30AM
The Fake News Liberal Press is blowing this all out of proportion. I said that FBI agents can carry their guns, but they must stop doing back flips. For the real news, watch Fox News, Breitbart News or Sarkes Corner.

Sarkes Analysis:

The problem here is obvious. The Off-Duty FBI agent was White. We all know that White Men cannot dance. Worse than that, White Men cannot do back flips.

Now if one wants to do a back flip, the perfect teacher is Ozzie Smith, Hall of Fame Shortstop for the perennial World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. Ozzie, a Black Man, would do an incredible Back Flip as he ran onto the field for every Season Home Opening Game. Ozzie did this for his 19 years as a Major League player, sticking his landing each and every time. If this was the Olympics, Ozzie would have been awarded a perfect 10 by the Judges, even the Commie Russian Judges.

The Lesson Learned for White Men trying to impress the gals at a Bar: Buy them a Drink, avoid dancing or trying a backflip.

The Badge of the FBI Agent in Denver
Eyewitness Pictures of the FBI Agent shooting a fellow Bar Patron
St. Louis Cardinal Hall of Fame Shortstop Ozzie Smith doing his Back Flip

Two Florida Cracker Stories

Executive Summary:

– Florida woman named Crystal Methvin arrested for possession of Crystal Meth

– Florida Republican Leader posts support for Roseanne’s Racial Tweet

While Sarkes Corner Contributor and Sister, Cindy Mamelian, lives in Missouri, The Shoot Me State, she is a regular visitor to Florida, The Gunshine State. The Florida Cracker never ceases to amaze Cindy.

Cindy sent 2 stories of the antics of Florida Crackers which Sarkes shares here. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Florida Cracker Story 1: Florida police arrested a woman named Crystal Methvin for possession of Crystal Meth Saturday morning. St. Augustine police said they arrested Cracker Methvin, 40, and her friend, Cracker Douglas Nickerson, 41, after getting an anonymous complaint.

Police say the Florida Crackers consented to a search, and officers arrested Methvin and Nickerson after finding crystal meth and drug paraphernalia.
Both were taken to St. Johns County Jail.

Sarkes Editorial: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Florida Cracker Story 2: A Republican leader in Leesburg, Florida has said he doesn’t understand the anger generated by Roseanne Barr’s tweet comparing a former adviser to President Barack Obama to an ape.

Lake County Republican Committeeman Ralph Smith posted an image of Valerie Jarrett side-by-side with an image of a character from “Planet of the Apes” on Facebook with the caption, “And the issue with Roseanne is?”

Cracker Smith is a proud, Heat Packing, Red Hat “Make America Great Again”, supporter of the Orange Dotard. He is the prototype member of “Trump’s Base”.

The Daily Commercial in Leesburg, Florida, published a story Wednesday quoting Smith as saying that he thought the comparison was “funny.”

Smith deleted his post Wednesday. On a radio show he hosts, he said he doesn’t care about a person’s color, only their values. Smith has made another Facebook post to apologize that his “attempt at humor was crass and inappropriate.”

“My knowledge of Valerie Jarrett, as a black woman, was only understood yesterday,” Smith’s apology post read. “My understanding was that she was of Iranian descent, a darker than average Caucasian, much like myself. Had no idea of her ancestry.”

Sarkes Editorial: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sarkes finds Florida Cracker Story 1 amusing.

Sarkes finds Florida Cracker Story 2 ……………. well, Sarkes is speechless.

Cracker Crystal Methvin
Crystal Meth
Cracker Nickerson
Cracker Ralph Smith. This pictures tells it all.

Yeti Products at Risk

Sarkes Corner –

Executive Summary:

Yeti Products are being sacrificed by Heat Packing Great Americans.

CNN reported that the company that makes Yeti Products is the latest of a number of companies who have severed ties with the powerful gun lobby, the NRA, in the wake of February’s mass shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida.

In protest, NRA supporters are blowing up their expensive YETI coolers and Yeti Mugs over a canceled discount that Yeti had provided to NRA Members.

Sarkes understands that many Subscribers to Sarkes Corner are City Dwellers who don’t pack Heat, and thus know very little about Yeti Products. There is a Strong, Positive Correlation between Heat Packing Americans and Americans who own Yeti products. So, Sarkes will provide a Yeti Tutorial.

Yeti produces Hight End Insulated Products popular with Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, Rural White Folk, i.e., Trump voters. These products include Mugs and Coolers. The Yeti Mugs cost as much as $50 and the Yeti Coolers typically cost $350 to $1,300.

The original target market for Yeti products were Hunters, Fisherman, and Campers. The performance of Yeti products in not Fake News. Yeti products do keep your Cold liquids Cold and your Hot liquids Hot.

Later, the market for Yeti’s shifted to the entirety of, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters. Sarkes is amazed that the while the Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters, struggle to make ends meet, they always find the money to buy their High End Yeti products, Beer, and Ammo for their Heat. In America, we are all free to make choices.

Today, it is common to see Yeti products in the hands of affluent White Folk, like Sarkeses neighbors in the Gated Golf Course Communities in Southwest Florida. Sarkes and his neighbors now display their Yetis as a status symbol of their wealth. Sarkeses research has not determined how the Brown and Black communities have embraced the Yeti, but it’s rare to see a Black Man or Brown Man with a Yeti Cooler or Yeti Mug.

Typical reactions to the Yeti slight of the NRA :

Bryan Atkinson of Buford, South Carolina packed his Yeti Cooler with 22 pounds of explosives and then blew it up with a burst from his Semi-Automatic AR-15. Akinson stated “If Yeti can’t stand behind the NRA, I ain’t standing behind Yeti no more,”. Obviously, Grammar is not a strong suit of Yeti Owners.

Leroy Franklin of Macon, GA, said: “I own several expensive Yeti products and planned on purchasing more, however, NOT NOW,”

Jimmy Phillips of Plano, TX said: “You just lost my family’s business. The second amendment is important, YETI is not. Shame on you.”

Joe Krawtschenko of Lakewood Ranch, FL, admitted his YETI coffee mug actually works pretty well. But Yeti’s slight of the NRA has changed his mind on using the mug. In protest, Krawtschenko Loaded and Locked his AR-15 and blasted his Yeti Mug.

The Orange Rifleman, who recently addressed the NRA Convention on the Yeti issue Ranted: “Yeti is no friend of the NRA. I would love to Bitch Slap those Traitors who are still using their Yeti’s. I would say get those son of a bitch Yeti users out of here right now, YOUR FIRED!. You know, those Yeti Turn Coats who want to keep using their Yeti’s, maybe they shouldn’t be in this Country. I say if you see a person using a Yeti, you should take their Yeti and go to court later, Yeti users do not deserve Due Process”. Note: Trump got a 5 minute standing ovation from those in attendance at the NRA Convention.

There you have it, the Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters, are Mad as Hell, and are not taking this Politically Correct PC Crap anymore. While they truly love their Yeti Products, they will not Kowtow to The Yeti Man.

Yeti Products may be superior in keeping Cold things Cold and Hot things Hot, but they are no match with an AR-15. Load and Lock your AR-15, put on your Red “Make America Great Again” caps, and death to all things Yeti.

Trump Voter Blowing Up his High End Yeti Cooler
The Orange Rifleman ranting against Yeti at the NRA Convention

Roach Lays Eggs in Florida Man’s Ear

Executive Summary:

– Nope, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up
– Was Hillary Clinton behind this heinous act?

WARNING WARNING WARNING – This Sarkes Corner is not to be read by those with squeamish stomachs. Also, Old, Rich, White Folk who have people who clean their houses and can afford Orkin for Pest Control may believe that this is Fake News as they have never seen a Roach in their homes. WARNING WARNING WARNING

Sarkeses Florida Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

Normally, one would think of Roach infestation issues in the Black Ghettos or Brown Barrios of big cities like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, etc. This Roach story comes from the Gunshine State, Florida, in the capital city of Tallahassee, in a White neighborhood.

Florida Cracker Blake Collins has been fighting roaches in his apartment near the campus of Florida State University for 3 years.

Collins said that roaches can be found everywhere in his house, and some come out of his bulb sockets. A bowl with dog food shortly attracts dozens of German roaches. But last week, the pest problem reached its peak. Collins woke up at 5 a.m. to a roach moving inside his ear.

Collins told medical personnel: “A roach was burrowing inside of my head. I could hear his legs inside me. It felt like someone was shoving a Q-tip all the way inside my head and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

Doctors used a syringe to put lidocaine, a numbing medication, inside his ear to kill the roach — which also had laid eggs. 

Collins went on to explain: “I heard the Roach die in my head. When the Doctor poured the lidocaine in, I could feel the Roach go super, super fast, kicking and try to dig its way out, and a faint little squeal and then two minutes later, it just stopped and he died.”

It is estimated that 92% of Registered Florida Cracker Voters voted for the Orange Good Ol Boy. It is also estimated that double the number of Registered Florida Crackers were not Registered to vote as they could not read or sign the Voter Registration application.

Understanding that Florida Crackers are an important part of his Base, the Golden Czar was incensed when informed about the Roach attack on Florida Crackers. He tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – May 30 @ 4:56AM
Before election day, Crooked Hillary hired SPIES, SPIES, to infiltrate Florida with MILLIONS of German Euro Roaches, Euro Roaches! These Roaches were trained to attack my voters to help Crooked Hillary Win. DIDN”T WORK!!!! I won in a landslide, largest Presidential victory in History, History. We even found Roaches at Mir-a-Lago! SHAME. This is a scandal larger than Watergate. The Justice Department WILL investigate Crooked Hillary and that Illegal Obama for this heinous crime.

Being a Florida Cracker, there is a high probability that Cracker Collins packs Heat. Thankfully, Cracker Collins went to the Emergency Room before trying to eliminate the Roach with his Heat.

Roach Attack Victim Florida Cracker Blake Collin
The Euro Roach removed from Cracker Collins’ Ear
The Orange Exterminator checking for Euro Roaches at Mir-a-Lago