Omarosa v Trump, Tale of the Tape

Executive Summary:

– The fight between Omarosa and the Orange Counter Puncher is on
– Sarkes evaluates the fighters and predicts the winner

The fight between fired White House Advisor Omarosa and the Golden Assailant is on and is shaping to be the greatest fight in history since “The Thrilla in Manila”, Ali v Frazier, and “The Rumble in the Jungle” Ali v Foreman.

The Thrilla in Manila, Ali v Frazier
Rumble in the Jungle Ali v Foreman

Omarosa v Trump will be called “The Romp in the Swamp”. Unlike traditional fights that are held in Boxing arenas and viewed on Pay-For-View, “The Romp in the Swamp” will be fought in Tweeter, TV Interviews, and Press Conferences, all free for all Americans. “The Romp in the Swamp” is yet another example of Making America Great Again, and will make all other countries envious of America.

The Romp in the Swamp Omarosa v Trump

Sarkes Corner Sports Bureau provide the Tale of the Tape for Omarosa and Orange Mercenary.

Measure Omarosa Trump Advantage

Age 44 72 Omarosa

Heigth 6’ 3” 5’ 10” Trump

Weight Slim Lard Ass Omarosa

Reach 69” 61” Trump

Stance Steady Unstable Omarosa

Believability Questionable Habitual Liar Omarosa

Health Fit Un Fit Omarosa

Diet Salads Greasy Burgers Omarosa

Hair Style Conservative Orange Combover Omarosa

Intangible Bully Angry Black Woman Omarosa

With the Tale of the Tape, Sarkes predicts a victory in “The Romp in the Swamp”, in 10 rounds for Omarosa.

Another Senseless Cracker Crime

Executive Summary:

– A man with no arms stabbed a tourist in Miami Beach

– Could this be a windfall for the Perp?

Thanks to Sarkes Corner contributor Steve Moss for this strange Cracker Crime story out of Miami.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. It seems like the number of ways that Crackers can inflict pain on each other is endless. In this case, the victim was a tourist from Chicago.

Miami Beach police say 46-year-old Cracker Jonathan Crenshaw, who has no arms, held a pair of scissors with his feet and stabbed 22-year-old tourist Cesar Coronado just after midnight last week.

Mug Shot of Cracker Crenshaw

Cracker Crenshaw is a well-known Miami Beach street artist who uses his feet to paint. Cracker Crenshaw’s paintings are colorful mosaics that feature eyes, and sell for as much as $60.

Cracker Crenshaw in his Studio

Tourist Coronado and a friend told police that Coronado had only asked for directions before the vicious attack. Tourist Coronado was bleeding from his left arm when he was admitted to a local hospital.

Cracker Crenshaw claimed he acted in self-defense after Coronado punched him in the head. That’s the problem with our judicial system, our jails are filled with innocent people. Alas, in this case, Cracker Crenshaw has had multiple run-ins with police, including violent crime charges like battery on a police officer.

Who knows, maybe Cracker Artist Crenshaw’s street paintings will be more in demand now and the prices could exponentially inflate, just like the Portfolios of us Rich, Old, White, Guys. Unlike the Fake News spewed by the Liberal Press, Trickle Down comes in many different ways and is not just reserved for Rich, Old, White guys.

An Original Crenshaw which could now have a greater value

A Clean, Thoroughbred, White Girl

Executive Summary:

– A woman, stopped for a DUI, tells police she’s a “clean, thoroughbred, white girl”
– Will White Supremacy become a new Defense strategy?

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story out of Bluffton, South Carolina.

Police in Bluffton, South Carolina say a woman they saw speed through a stop sign at 60 mph told officers she should not be arrested because she’s a “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl.”

The Bluffton Police report says 32-year-old Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw was slurring her words and a breathalyzer showed her blood-alcohol level at .18 percent, but she said shouldn’t be jailed because she was a cheerleader and a sorority girl who graduated from a “high accredited university,” and her partner’s “a cop.”

Lauren Cutshaw Has a Degree in Business Administration from Louisiana State University

Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw, a Clean, Thoroughbred, White Girl

Taken to the police station in handcuffs, she described herself as a white “thoroughbred” and “went on to say ‘I’m a white, clean girl,’”. When asked what being a “white, clean girl” had to do with anything; she replied, “You’re a cop, you should know what that means.” Cutshaw was jailed Saturday on charges including drunken driving, speeding and marijuana possession.

Mug Shot of Cutshaw

While many subscribers of Sarkes Corner may think that this is just another amusing story about a Drunk, Sarkes digs deeper. Sarkes Connects Dots where most do not even see the Dots. In this case, Sarkes sees some disturbing Dots.

Sarkes Connects Dots where most do not see Dots

The Dots:

1. For whatever reason, the election of the Orange Mac & Cheese has brought the White Supremacists out of the closet and onto the streets of America. In today’s political environment, the White Supremacists feels empowered to spread their doctrine, which is that the White Race is inherently superior to other races, and that White people should have control over people of other races. This is disturbing to Sarkes as Sarkes, as an Armenian, is Brown.

2. With the exception of Kenya West, Ben Carson, Diamond & Silk and the Black guy at the Trump political rallies, most all Conservatives are white.

Diamond & Silk with the Orange Ameba

3. With the inevitable confirmation of Conservative Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, our Supreme Court will be A Super Majority Conservative Supreme Court.

The Dots: White Supremacists -> Conservatives are primarily White -> A Conservative Supreme Court

After Sarkes Connects the Dots, he ponders……will our Conservative Supreme Court rule that being a Clean, Thoroughbred, White person become a legal defense to a DUI and other crimes?

Florida Cracker Charged with DUI

Executive Summary:

– It is not unusual for a Florida Cracker to Drink and Drive

– What makes this special is that this Florida Cracker chugged his can of Beer during the DUI stop

Sarkes continues to lament that he cannot make this stuff up. Sarkeses neighbors, the Florida Cracker, never ceases to amaze. But here at Sarkes Corner, you get the Truth, Sarkes Corner is a Truth Machine. Sarkes Corner – No Spin, You Win.

A Florida Cracker, Daryl Royal Riedel, was pulled over by police on suspicion of drunk driving but continued to drink even after being stopped by a sheriff’s deputy. While waiting for the deputy to approach his car, Cracker Ridel raised a can of Busch beer and chugged down the suds.

Cracker Daryl Royal Riedel
Busch Beer – A favorite brew of the Cracker

Minutes earlier, Cracker Riedel had sped off after being pulled over for the first time due to a suspended license, leading police on a two-mile car chase. Cracker Riedel told the deputies that he drove away the first time because he was scared.

Cracker Riedel has 3 previous DUI convictions and is out on bail for a 4th DUI infraction. Apparently drinking and driving by Crackers in Florida is no big deal.

Cracker Riedel is now facing charges including felony DUI, fleeing from a deputy, driving with a suspended license, and failure to submit a breath test.
Asked why he drove with a suspended license, Cracker Riedel said, “because I still have to work.”

Sarkeses analysis:

While Florida Crackers score very low on the Socio-Economic and Intelligence measures, many are hard workers, albeit working minimum wage jobs. One of Sarkeses Rich, Old, White, Florida neighbors describe the Florida Cracker as “the Salt of the Earth”.

Sarkes is still investigating how Cracker Riedel can have 3 previous DUI convictions, been charged with a 4th, and is still driving! Has he been given lenient sentences by Juries of his Cracker Peers? This makes no sense as the Gunshine State, with a super majority GOP state legislature, should be tough on crime. Something here stinks.

In any case, Sarkes understands why Cracker Riedel would chug his beer in the presence of deputies who are ready to arrest him. While Bush Beer is a low end, cheap beer, it’s like Champaign to a uneducated, underemployed, Florida Cracker.

Florida Crackers Chugging Beer

Interviewed after his arrest, Cracker Riedels lawyer said it was unfair that Police will not let citizens “suspected” of DUI to finish their beers before being arrested. Since Cracker Riedel is a solid part of the Orange Budweiser’s Base, the lawyer plans on contacting the White House to get Cracker Riedel a Presidential Pardon.

The Canadian Border Wall

Executive Summary:

– The Orange Constructor continues planning the annexation of the Canadian Niagara Falls

– The Golden Architect plans for a Great, Big, Beautiful Wall around the annexed Canadian Niagara Falls

In the Situation Room:

Donald Trump: “You know John, I like this Situation Room. It seems so secure. I’m doing such a great job as President that we don’t have any “Situations” so we might as well use this Situation Room for something.”

John Kelly: “Well Boss, there was a leak from your meeting yesterday here in the Situation Room when you got the briefing from the Pentagon on the strength of the Canadian Military. I think it was the Russians, I don’t know how they do it.”

Donald Trump: “John, John, John, my man Vlads said that the Russians are not bugging the Situation Room, it could be others. Anyway, let’s get on with business.”

Donald Trump: “Kevin, I called you in today to discuss what it would take to build a Great, Big, Beautiful Wall around the Canadian Niagara Falls. I am going to annex that area soon.”

Kevin McAleenan (Commissioner U.S. Customs and Border Protection): “Uh, Mr. President, I don’t understand”

Donald Trump: (whispering to John Kelly) “Did I pick this moron or is he a hold over from that Kenyan Obama”.

Donald Trump: “Kevin, it’s simple, I am going to annex the area around the Canadian Niagara Falls and make it part of the United States. While I don’t think that Canada will respond, I don’t trust that Panty Waste, Limp Wristed, Pretty Boy, Justin Trudeau. He is just dumb enough to think that he can take back the Canadian Niagara Falls with his paltry, meager, insignificant military.”

Kevin McAleenan: “Uh, well, Mr. President, we are not completed with the down select from Prototypes built earlier this year. We need to complete the down select, then negotiate contracts, etc, this all takes time.”

Mexican Border Wall Prototypes

Donald Trump: “Shit Kevin, were you in Congress before you took this job! I told my Base that we would Drain The Swamp, and this is a great example. Down Select, Contracts, Jesus Christ, those are just details. If I want a Great, Big, Beautiful Wall built around the Canadian Niagara Fall then it will be built. John, do we still have Seabees like I saw in the John Wayne movies? I bet the Seebees could build the Wall around the Canadian Niagara Falls! I bet the Seebees don’t need to Down Select, Contracts, and that other Bull Shit!”

John Wayne in The Fighting Seebees

John Kelly: “Uh, Boss….”

Donald Trump: “I’m finished with this conversation. I”ll help you with your down select, pick the wall that I told you I liked a few months back. Jesus Christ, why can’t we get anything done around this Swamp. BUILD THE F – – KING WALL, NOW”

Donald Trump like this Border Wall Prototype

Kevin McAleenan: “Uh, OK, well, will do. John, can I have a word after we are done”.

Donald Trump: “John, show me how to get out of this Situation Room”, I need to make my Tee Time at the Great Trump resort in New Jersey”.

Donald Trump and Friends in The Situation Room

United States vs Canada – Who Would Win

Executive Summary:

– After Sarkeses phone conversation with POTUS, the Orange Commandant decided to annex the Canadian Niagara Falls

– The Golden Generali asked the Pentagon for a Military Brief

After his phone call with Vlads Putin oh how he annexed Crimea, the Orange Conqueror asked General Mad Dog Mattis for a comparison of the US Military verses the Canadian Military.

In the Situation Room:

Donald Trump: “Wow, who would have thought. I had never been in this Situation Room until you guys made me come down here after my meeting with Vlads in Helsinki, and here I am again. I am such a great President that we never have “Situations”.

General Maddog Mattis: “Boss, you asked for a comparison between the US Military and the Canadian Military, we have that for you”

Donald Trump: “Yeah Maddog, with a Panty Waste President like Trudeau, I figured this would be easy. But how did you do this so fast, I just asked you for this an hour ago”.

General Maddog Mattis: “Well Boss, a few days ago we hacked the Canadian Military and found a study by a Dennis Parass. We are a big confused as this Dennis Parass is not Military. His code name is “The Canadian Scout”. The best we can determine, he is just another Old, Rich, White Canadian. His company was a supplier to Lockheed Martin on the F-35 which is probably why that Program is Millions over budget and years behind schedule, we should never use Canadian suppliers. But none the less, his analysis is spot on”

Donald Trump: “Well Maddog, let’s get on with it, I don’t want to miss my Tee Time at my Great Golf Club in New Jersey”.

General Maddog Mattis: “No problem Boss, this is all summarized in a short 7 minute U-Tube video that you can watch on your way to your New Jersey Golf Club. You will need to watch a 30 second commercial or just skip it.

Donald Trump: ‘Nice work Maddog”.

“United States vs Canada – Who Would Win – Army / Military Comparison”

The Orange Admiral watching TV on Air Force 1

Niagara Falls

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes discusses Niagara Falls with the Orange Coxswain

Sarkes was recently on assignment in Niagara Falls and compared the American Falls to the Canadian Falls. There is no comparison, the Canadian Falls are far superior to the American Falls. Those of you who have been to Niagara Falls will agree. This motivated Sarkes to call the Golden Ameba.

Sarkes: “Mr. President, thank you for taking my call.”

Donald Trump: “Sarkes, it’s a pleasure. Why haven’t you come to Mir-a-Lago to play golf with me, you know you have an open invitation any weekend. Now I’m playing every weekend at my course in New Jersey as its too hot in Florida.”

Sarkes: “Thanks Mr. President, Sarkes will make sure to visit you in Mir-a-Lago soon. Mr. President, I wanted to talk to you about Niagara Falls. I was just up there and, to be quite honest with you, our American Niagara Falls stink when compared to the Canadian Niagara Falls, it’s not even close.”

Canadian and US Niagara Falls, no comparison

Donald Trump: “I hear you Sarkes, I wanted Donald Jr. to open a Trump International Hotel next to the American Niagara Falls and he convinced me that it was a Loooooooser. You know me Sarkes, America First!”

American Niagara Falls, pitiful

Donald Trump: “Do you have any recommendations Sarkes”

Sarkes: “Actually Mr. President, I do. I was thinking you could make congress put together an economic package to develop the American Niagara Falls to make it draw tourists not only from America but from Canada also. We would need to build roads, hotels, casinos, restaurants, theaters, and more. It makes no sense for American dollars being spent in Canada.”

Donald Trump: “Good point Sarkes, but you know those Do-Nothings in the House and Senate, they never do anything fast. I have a better idea.”

Donald Trump (to John Kelly): “John, get my man Vlads on the phone.”

John Kelly: “Sir, it’s the middle of the night in Russia, can this wait until morning in Russia?

Donald Trump: “John, Vlads is my buddy, in Helsinki, he told me to call him anytime and for any reason. This is important.”

John Kelly: “Ok Boss”.

A few minutes later:

Vlads Putin (via an interpreter): “Donnie, mi Babushka, what can I do for you?”

Donald Trump: “Vlads, I need a little advise. I want to annex the Canadian Niagara Falls like you did Crimea. How did you pull of that off.”

Majestic Canadian Niagara Falls

Vlads Putin (via an interpreter): “Donnie, you naught boy, I like it. Here is what you can do to annex the Canadian Niagara Falls:

“Claim that a majority of the population of the Canadian Niagara Falls are American when you count the Tourists. You can say that this has been historically American land. This should be easy to prove as your people spend Billions of US Dollars there.”

“A number of the businesses in the Canadian Niagara Falls are owned by American companies, this is one of your main reasons. The unrealistic, how you say, Uuuuuuuge, Canadian Taxes are unfair to your American Companies.”

Donald Trump: “Sounds simple Vlads, but how do I get my great American Army into the Canadian Niagara Falls?”

Vlads Putin (via an interpreter): “Again, Simple Donnie. You plant some operatives in the population of the Canadian Niagara Falls and have them organize Protests, Marches and Riots against the Canadian Government. The Canadian Government will send in Troops to stop the riots. That will be your reason to send troops across the border to annex the Canadian Niagara Falls., you are protecting your American tourists.”

Donald Trump: “Thanks Vlads, I’ll see you in Washington in a few months. I really wanted you to come to our Big, Beautiful, Military Parade, it will put yours to shame, but my staff are advising against it.”

Vlads Putin (via an interpreter): (Laughing), Oh Donnie, you are something else. Proshchay. (Putin hangs up and says to an aid) “What a f – – king moron.”

Donald Trump: “There you have it Sarkes, done deal. See you at Mir-a-Lago. (Trump hangs up the phone)

Sarkes: “Un, duh, what, huh, oh my”

Packing 3D-Printed Heat

Executive Summary:

– A Texas company is cleared to put 3D-printed gun designs online
– Sarkes warns, we are on the edge of that slippery slope

Somewhere in the Great Beyond, our Founding Fathers are sitting around a table pondering the mistake they made when crafting the 2nd Amendment which states: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

You see, in 1789, the year of our Constitution, common Heat included Muskets and Flintlock Pistols. These weapons had a one-round magazine capacity and could fire about 2 rounds per MINUTE in the hands of the most skilled shooter.

Muskets Circa 1789

Thanks to our Supreme Court and the NRA, America has evolved from Muskets to AR-15’s with 30 Round Magazines. An AR-15 can shoot over 100 rounds per MINUTE, 100 rounds!

AR-15 Circa 2018

And now, we are in the early stages of producing Heat made on a 3D Printer. 3D-printed guns are made of a hard plastic and are simple to assemble, easy to conceal, and tough to trace.

3D Printed Hand Gun
3D Printed Automatic Weapon

After spending years fighting the federal government for the right to do so, a Texas company, Defense Distributed, was given the green light to post blueprints online showing people how to make 3D-printed guns from the comfort of their home. This was made possible due to the gun-friendly environment created by the Orange Rifleman.

The Orange Rifleman packing an AR-15

Gun SAFETY advocates, and some law enforcement officials, are appalled. They are worried that this is exactly what criminals and terrorists want: guns that can’t be flagged by metal detectors, don’t have serial numbers to trace, and don’t require the usual background checks.

The argument FOR 3D-printed Heat is that these weapons will NOT be desired by criminals since the 3D-printers needed are expensive and the firearms they produce aren’t very durable.

Larry Keane, executive director of the National Shooting Sports Foundation, which represents gun manufacturers states: “If you’re a Gang Banger in L.A., are you going to go out and spend tens of thousands of dollars to buy a printer to print a gun that doesn’t work very well or are you just going to steal one. Criminals can obviously go out and steal guns or even manufacture quote-unquote real guns, not 3D printed”. Larry Keane is another Rich, Old, White Guy, so he must know what he is talking about.

Old White Gun Advocate Larry Keane

Duh, oh, uh, huh, what, oh, my, huh.

Sarkes, a recovering Liberal, is having some challenges on the Orange Brick road to becoming a card carrying Conservative. This gun stuff is a Uuuuuuge pothole for Sarkes. Don’t the 2nd Amendment, NRA Lemmings understand that the risk from 3D-printed Heat is NOT the LA Gang Banger, rather the well funded, home grown White Supremacist terrorist, or the well funded, stereotypical Muslim terrorist?

Islamic Jihadist Terrorist with a 3D Gun
White Supremacist Terrorist with a 3D Weapon

Load and Lock America, Load and Lock your 3D-printed Heat.

The Many Faces of Welfare

Executive Summary:

Welfare in America today crosses all racial, economic, and demographic boundaries.

1. Welfare for the Inner City Single Mothers:

Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) was a federal assistance program in effect from 1935 to 1996 created by the Social Security Act to provide financial assistance to children whose families had low or no income.

The program grew from a minor part of the social security system to a significant system of welfare administered by the states with federal funding. AFDC was criticized for offering incentives for women to have children, and for providing disincentives for women to join the workforce. In 1996, AFDC was replaced by the more restrictive Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program.

An Inner City Welfare Mother

2. Welfare for Health Care for the Poor:

Medicaid is a joint federal and state program that helps with medical costs for people with limited income and resources. Medicaid also offers benefits not normally covered by Medicare, like nursing home care and personal care services. Medicaid is a government insurance program for persons of all ages whose income and resources are insufficient to pay for health care.

Medicaid is the largest source of funding for medical and health-related services for people with low income in the United States, providing free health insurance to 74 million low-income and disabled people, 74 million! That’s 23 percent of the US population.

Of the 74 million Poor people who receive Medicaid, the major categories include; 46% are children, 15% are Disabled, 12% are Senior Citizens who also receive Medicare, and 2% are Institutionalized.

A Suburban Disabled Person on Medicaid

3. Welfare for Farmers as the result of the Orange Negotiator’s Tariffs:

The Amber Waves Of Grain announced a $12 billion in emergency aid to farmers caught in an escalating trade war, seeking to temper growing Republican dissent over the escalating Tariff Wars.

The $12 billion aid package (Welfare for Farmers) is designed to help farmers facing tariffs in China, Mexico and other countries that imposed the levies on U.S. products in response to the Golden Negotiators tariffs on imported steel and aluminum. It is the latest sign that growing trade tensions between the United States and other countries are unlikely to end soon.

A Rural Soy Bean Farmer receiving Tariff Welfare

So, Welfare in America today is given to Urban, Suburban, Rural Americans who are Black, Brown, Yellow, Red, that are unemployed, or Disabled and even to able bodied Farmers. God Bless America.

Jesus Drank Wine

Executive Summary:

A Florida Crackerette defends her drunk driving using Cracker logic: “Jesus drank wine and so did I”

– This drunk driving suspect says she’s just a follower of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ

– Sarkes connects Dots where most cannot even see the Dots

– Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

A Cracker who is inebriated is a problem. An inebriated Cracker driving a car is a formula for disaster. Inebriated Cracker Drivers who get their marching orders from our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ while driving a car is, well, off the scales in Biblical proportions.

After a night of boozing, Florida Crackerette, Nicole Ann Mintner, defended herself to police by telling arresting officers that “Jesus drank wine and so did I.”

Deputies said they found the 45-year-old Crackerette asleep at the wheel inside a silver Dodge with her hazard lights activated and engine running in Sumter, Florida. Sumter is between Orlando and Ocala, smack dab in the Heart of Cracker / Trump country.

A drunk Florida Cracker, who is also under the influence of Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, presents a unique challenge for Law Enforcement officers:

During police interviews, Crackerette Mintner reportedly refused to take off her sunglasses and slapped an officer twice.

Crackerette Minter told officers that she had taken Xanax then later admitted to drinking alcohol after four empty sangria bottles were found in her center console.

When Crackerette Mintner was placed under arrest, she continuously screamed and threatened to urinate while en route to Sumter County Hoosegow.

At the Hoosegow, officers attempted to perform field sobriety tests on Minter but she kept talking over them singing “Amazing Grace.”

Crackerette Minter was not finished. She threw her socks at a camera recording the sobriety tests and exposed herself to the officers, removing her right breast from her shirt and revealed it to the camera and jail staff.

“Many People Say” Sarkes, a drunk Cracker getting arrested for DUI is a daily occurrence in the GunShine State, what makes this a Sarkes Corner worthy story?

Sarkes connects dots where most do not even see the dots. With the retirement of Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, his replacement will be Ultra Conservative. The Freedom of Religion portion of the 1st Amendment will take on a whole new meaning with our new Conservative Supreme Court. Crackerette Minters case is an example. “Jesus drank wine and so did I” could be a defense that keeps inebriated, God Fearing Christians out of the Hoosegow.

Florida Crackerette Nicole Ann Mintner
Jesus drank Wine