Shots Fired in IKEA

Executive Summary:

– Indiana child fires handgun found in sofa at Ikea

Sarkes thanks Sarkes Corner Canadian Bureau Chief Dennis Parass for this story out of Indiana reported by Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC).

Just when Sarkes had thought he had reported on all derivatives of senseless accidental gun shootings; Infant on Infant, Infant on Parent, Dog on Owner, Cracker on Cracker, Cracker on Self, etc, another classification of senseless shooting surfaces…… Child on Sofa.

A six-year-old child in Indianapolis, Indiana, found a loaded handgun in a sofa at Ikea and fired it. The Heat had fallen into the cushions as a shopper sat down to test the sofa at the IKEA store in a suburb of Indianapolis.

Nobody was hurt in the incident, but the sofa was ruined beyond repair. No arrests have been made. Ikea said it had expressed “sincerest apologies” to the child’s family.

Police reported that the gun owner did not notice that he had dropped his Heat. A police spokesperson reported: ”He sat down and somehow or another the firearm became dislodged from this body and when he got up he didn’t realize that he was without it”. The owner continued shopping and only became aware he had lost his gun when he heard gunfire.

Sarkes analyzes this Child on Sofa shooting:

While the name of the child and Gun Owner have not been released, Sarkes knows with 1,000 percent confidence, that the Gun Owner is a Lard Ass. Who amongst us has not witnessed, while shopping at a furniture store, a Lard Ass trying to get up off a sofa after checking it out. It’s not a pretty site. Brutal.

In its statement, IKEA said the “safety and security of customers and co-workers is the top priority”. IKEA “has a no-weapon policy in our locations to prevent exactly these types of situations,” their statement continued. Are you kidding me, the IKEA no-weapon policy is no more a deterrent to Heat Packing Americans than their Swedish Meat Balls.

This story hits close to home for Sarkes. Sarkes has 3 great snowbird neighbors who live in Indianapolis; Rich C., Jim H. and Larry B. These Indiana neighbors could have easily been resting on an IKEA sofa while their wives were shopping IKEA, in harms way of a stray bullet fired by a Child Packing Heat.

Wait a second, what was Sarkes thinking, his Indianapolis Florida Snowbird neighbors would never be caught in an IKEA. IKEA is for students, Young people just starting, and the Poor, not Old Rich White Guys who can afford so much more.

Finally, The Orange Rifleman, does what he does best, he weighed in on Twitter:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 27 @ 4:57AM
Another tragic shooting in an IKEA store in Indianapolis. My thoughts and prayers to any piece of furniture that may have been shot. This is not a gun issue, it is a negligence issue on IKEA. IKEA sofas are too hard to get up out of by most Americans who may be a bit overweight. Americans are overweight because our Economy is thriving, unemployment is the lowest ever, and there is enough food to go around for all Americans. America can thank me.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 27 @ 5:28AM
IKEA will not get away with their gross negligence. Donald J. Trump hereby orders a 40% Tariff on all goods sold in IKEA stores. I will have the health department check the IKEA Swedish Meatballs. IKEA Swedish Meatballs are Phony, Fake, Low Rated, Fools…..give me a good old American Quarter Pounder with Cheese any day, now that’s what Makes America Great.

IKEA Store, Scene of the Child on Sofa Shooting
IKEA Sofa, Shooting Victim
Lard Ass on an IKEA Sofa
IKEA Swedish Meatballs, Fake, Underated
The Orange Cuisinier Making America Great Again, one Quarter Pounder at a Time

The USA is Being Invaded

Executive Summary:

– The Orange Fuhrer warns us that America is being INVADED by Immigrants
– Boeing is ready to repel this INVASION of Immigrants

On his way to his Virginia Trump International Golf course Sunday for another great round of golf, the Orange Duffer warned America that we are being invaded by Thousands, Thousands, of Immigrants seeking asylum along with the Thousands of Illegal Mexican Rapists and Criminals.

The Golden Goose-stepper said: “We cannot allow all of these people to invade our Country”. The Orange Field Marshall went on to say that “When somebody comes in, we must immediately, with no Judges or Court Cases, bring them back from where they came.”

Make no mistake, the INVASION of our country should never be taken lightly. The Gold Chieftain, the strongest President we have had since Co-Conservative Ronald Reagan, is not taking this INVASION lightly.

Unfortunately, the Orange Eminence’s hands are tied by our Constitution, Obstructionist Dems, and RINOs. The Golden Luminary has only one path to save America, and that is to declare Marshall Law. By declaring Marshall Law, the Orange 6 Star General can:
– suspend the Constitution
– eliminate Due Process of Law
– deploy our massive military to the Southern Border to stop this unprecedented INVASION by Criminal Mexicans, El Salvadorians, Hondurans, and other Brown Evil Doers from South and Central America
– appropriate funds to build a great, beautiful wall on our Southern Border

Boeing is ready to step up to stop this INVASION of the Brown Hoard. Boeing is ready to immediately step up production of the: F18 Fighter Jet, F15 Fighter Jet, Apache Attack Helicopter, various Missiles, KC 46 Pegasus Tankers, and Spy Satellites.

Boeing builds world class military products, has world class Engineering, and, of course, strong Leaders like Sarkes. All the Orange Agent needs to do is Tweet a Change Order to Boeing and Boeing will pick up the pace to send these great Military Weapons to our Southern Border.

Boeing Military Products ready to deploy to the Southern Border to stop the INVASION of the Brown Hoard:

F-18 Hornet army airplane with gear extended for landing
F15 Strike Eagle heading to the Southern Border
Apache Attack Helicopter heading to the Southern Border
A powerful Boeing Missile
A KC 46 Pegusus Tanker will enable aircraft to fly 24/7
Spy Satellite watching the Southern Border

Be Aware if Traveling to Florida

Executive Summary

– The State of Florida has revoked 291 concealed weapons permits after an employee stopped reviewing background checks

– Florida Agriculture Commissioner Adam Putnam said his agency had a ‘deceitful’ employee.

Sarkes thanks Sarkes Corner Contributor and Sister Cindy Mamelian for this story out of Florida from CNN. Cindy, a frequent traveler to Florida, the Gunshine State, is always on the lookout for stories of the antics of Florida Crackers.

Florida, the Gunshine State, have over 1.5 MILLION citizens with Concealed Carry Permits, 1.5 MILLION! The overwhelming majority of these citizens are Crackers who are low on the Socio-Economic and Intelligence scales.

It is unknown how many Florida Crackers Pack Heat without bothering to apply for a Concealed Carry Permit.

To compound matters, Florida recently revoked almost 300 concealed weapons permits after discovering that a state employee failed to review criminal background checks on applicants because she couldn’t log into the computer system. So, instead of calling IT, the Florida State Clerk just issued the Concealed Carry Permits without conducting the required Background Checks. Some Florida State Government employees are not the sharpest knifes in the drawer.

As a result of computer problems, which lasted for more than a year, 291 people got concealed carry permits who should not have received them. That’s 291 Crackers who should not be Packing Heat.

Florida Commissioner Adam Putman, now a candidate for Governor to replace Tricky Ricky Scott, said: ”The former employee was both deceitful and negligent, and we immediately launched an investigation and implemented safeguards to ensure this never happens again.

There you have it. Travelers to Florida Beware. At any pubic venue, Restaurant, Shopping Malls, Ball Park, everywhere, the stranger next to you most likely is Packing Heat, and some number of these are Crackers who should have never been issued a Concealed Carry Permit.

Florida Politician Adam Putman (left) with other Old White Guys with Guns
Florida Crackerette Packing Concealed Heat
Florida Cracker Packing Concealed Heat

Sarkes Corner: Iowa Pooch Shoots Owner

Executive Summary:

– Iowa Pooch, Balew, was Packing Heat and accidentally shot his owner.
– Reactions are strong across the country

One of Sarkes Corner’s Core Competencies is reporting on accidental shootings like: Infant on Infant, Infant on Parents, Cracker on Cracker, Dog on Owner, etc. While these stories are tragic, they always generate a passionate discussion on the 2nd Amendment.

Such is this story of an accidental Dog on Owner shooting in Iowa.

An Iowa man, Richard Remme, of Fort Dodge, says his dog inadvertently shot him while they were roughhousing Wednesday.

2nd Amendment Einstein Remme told police he was playing with his dog, Balew, on the couch and tossed the dog off his lap. Remme says that when the Pit Bull-Labrador mix bounded back up, he must have disabled the safety on the gun in his belly band AND stepped on the trigger.

The gun fired, striking one of Remme’s legs. He was treated at a hospital and released later that day. Authorities classified this shooting as an accident and no charges were brought against Balew.

Ft. Dodge police Chief Roger Porter said: “Unfortunately, in this case, you can’t foresee things that can happen, and this was just one of those freak accidents. Wrestling around with your dog, you wouldn’t think it could happen, but it did and it was unfortunate. It could have been a lot worse than it was, so we’re thankful Remme is OK,”

Sarkes believes that something here stinks. What is the probability that Pooch Balew has the skill to disable the Safety on the gun and then pull the trigger, all in a matter of seconds? And, is the Ft. Dodge Police Department covering something up? Hmmmmm, give Sarkes a break.

Shots fired, Dog Owner Down.

Reaction across the country was strong and typical of the aftermath of a Dog on Owner shooting:

The Human Society: The senseless Dog on Owner shooting must stop. Dogs are not protected under our Constitution and have no 2nd Amendment rights. Owners who arm their Dogs should be held accountable and procecuted, its not the Dog’s fault. Dogs and Cats should not have access to guns.

The NRA: Guns don’t kill people, Dogs kill people. This was an accident, the Price of our Freedom. Dogs should be properly trained to Pack Heat. The NRA will vigorously fight any Gun Control legislation that infringes on our citizens, or their Dogs, right to bear arms.

President Trump – The Orange Rifleman: My thoughts and prayers go out to all victims of Dog on Owner shootings. Liberal Democrats will use this tragic accident to take away guns from our Dogs. While I am your President, this will never happen.

2nd Amendment Einstein Remme recovering with Pooch Balew
White Dogs, like White People, Pack Heat
The NRA says that Cats have 2nd Amendment Rights
Poor, Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural Pooches support the Orange Canine

The GOP Lineup is Strong

Executive Summary:

– A Nevada Pimp wins the GOP primary in Nevada
– The Pimp celebrates his win with a famous Hollywood Madam

Sarkes thanks Sarkes Corner Contributor and friend Roy Moses for this great story from Fox News Fair and Balanced out of Nevada.

First of all, Sarkes declares that he cannot make this stuff up. Sarkes Corner is a Truth Machine. Sarkes Corner – No Spin, You Win.

While Sarkes, a recovering Liberal, is enjoying the Tsunami of cash bloating his Portfolio thru Trickle Down, the Orange Brick road to becoming a Card Carrying Conservative Republican is fraught with Pot Holes. It seems as Sarkes takes two steps forward on the Orange Brick Road then one step back.

Pimp Dennis Hof, star of the HBO adult reality series “Cathouse,” won a Republican primary for the Nevada state Legislature on Tuesday, ousting a three-term lawmaker.

Hof celebrated his win at a party in Pahrump, Nevada, with Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss at his side.

GOP Pimp Hof, a Political novice, gives all the credit to the Orange Sniffer saying: “It’s all because Donald Trump was the Christopher Columbus for me, he found the way and I jumped on it.” This kind of testimonial is usually reserved for our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, placing the Golden Pontiff as a pea in the same pod with Jesus.

Hof, a famous author like the Orange Journalist, wrote a book titled “The Art of the Pimp,” and has dubbed himself “The Trump of Pahrump (a city in Nevada)”.

Sarkes is easily confused and his conversion from a Demon Dem Liberal to a Reagan/Trump Conservative has Sarkeses head spinning. Sarkes ponders:
– how does electing Pimps and P-Grabbers align with the GOP position of Family Values?
– how does passing a budget that adds Trillions of dollars to our deficit align with the GOP focus on Fiscal Conservatism?
– how can GOP Lawmakers advocate that businesses should be able to refuse to sell to “Coloreds” or that Diversity is Un-American?

Alas, Sarkes does not panic. His solid, Rich, Old, White, Conservative Florida neighbors are always there to help Sarkes when he hits the curb while navigating the Orange Brick road to becoming a Reagan/Trump Conservative.

Sarkeses Conservative Florida neighbors tell Sarkes to stay laser focused on just one thing – TRICKLE DOWN and the Tsunami of Cash that is pouring into our Portfolios.

GOP Pimp Dennis Hof
GOP Pimp Dennis Hof and his Constiuents
GOP Pimp Hof is an advocate for Health Care Reform
Like the Orange Pulitzer, GOP Pimp is a Best Seller Author
GOP Pimp Hof and supporter Madame Heidi Fleiss

Starting Down The Slippery Slope

Executive Summary:

– GOP Congressional candidate Seth Grossman says that Diversity is a bunch of Crap and Un-American

– Unlike other Politicians who say something stupid and apologize later, Grossman is Doubling Down.

In the last edition of Sarkes Corner, Sarkes reported that South Dakota GOP Bigot Michael Clark believes that businesses should be able to not serve “People of Color” if they choose. Bigot Clark was was motivated and fueled by the recent Supreme Court ruling in favor of the Colorado baker who refused to make cake for a gay wedding.

At that time, Sarkes declared that we are now on the top of the Slippery Slope, and that People of Color BEWARE.

Well, it’s official, we are now heading down that Slippery Slope.

GOP Bigot Seth Grossman, empowered by his recent victory in the Republican primary in New Jersey’s 2nd Congressional District, has shown his true colors by stating that “The whole idea of Diversity Is A Bunch Of Crap And Un-American”.

And instead of apologizing, the New Jersey congressional candidate is Doubling Down. Bigot Grossman continued: “Diversity is an excuse by Democrats, Communists and Socialists, basically, to say that we’re not all created equal, that some people, if somebody is lesser qualified, they will get a job anyway or they’ll get into college anyway because of the tribe that they’re with, what group, what box they fit into.”

In addition to being a Bigot, Seth Grossman apparently failed English Composition in school.

But wait, there’s more. Bigot Grossman Tripled Down stating: “‘Diversity is not a virtue, America did not become great because of diversity.”

Seth Grossman’s campaign slogan was: “Liberty and Prosperity”. Sarkes says that Bigot Grossman should amend that campaign slogan for the general election to “Liberty and Prosperity for White Folk”.

Well, there you have it. GOP Bigots Clark, then Grossman, who’s next. Sarkes repeats: People of Color, Black, Brown, Yellow – BEWARE.

GOP Bigot Seth Grossman
Seth Grossman’s Campaign Slogan: Liberty and Prosperity (for White Folk)
Seth Grossman with other Old White Folk

People of Color BEWARE

Executive Summary:

– A South Dakota GOP lawmaker advocates for businesses to “turn away people of color”

– This is a slippery slope for people of color; Black, Brown, Yellow.

A South Dakota lawmaker on Monday said businesses should be able to turn away customers based on race. South Dakota State Rep. Michael Clark, a Hartford Republican, said business owners should have the final say in who they serve.

Clark, the stereotypical Old, Rich, White Republican, was motivated and fueled by the recent Supreme Court gives victory for Colorado baker who refused to make cake for a gay wedding.

Bigot Clark said: “He should have the opportunity to run his business the way he wants. If he wants to turn away people of color, then that’s his choice. The Supreme Court decision is a win for freedom of speech and freedom of religion”

Bigot Clark continued to place is RIGHT Foot in his mouth: “People shouldn’t be able to use their minority status to bully a business.” And then using the GOP value of Free Enterprise, Bigot Clark maintains: “If the community doesn’t support a store or restaurant that bars colored customers it will put them out of business. The vote of the dollar is very strong,”

Let Sarkes interpret Bigot Clark’s statement:
– It is the RIGHT of Business to be able to turn away people of Color if they wish

– If their White customers don’t agree with the Business that turns away people of Color, the customers can go elsewhere

Many Subscribers of Sarkes Corner are Educated and live in Big Cities / Suburbs. As such, you don’t really know the Rural, White, Uneducated, Underemployed White Folk, i.e., the Orange John Deer’s Base. Bigot Clark IS the Golden Harvest’s Base, and articulates the belief of many White Americans.

Hey Bigot Clark, let Sarkes give you a History lesson. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 outlawed discrimination based on Race, Color, Religion, Sex or National Origin. The LGBT community is not covered by the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which is why many Red States have continually and aggressively fight Equal Rights for LGBTQ’s.

If GOP lawmakers in Bright Red States, or the GOP House / Senate, do End Arounds or Repeal the Civil Rights Act of 1964, this could start a Slippery Slope. People of Color, Women, and Dark Foreigners were subject to discrimination that we tend to forget since it has been 54 years since the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Many Subscribers of Sarkes Corner are too young to remember when People of Color had to use separate; Rest Rooms, Water Fountains, Entrances to Buildings, had to sit in the back of the Bus, could not eat at White Restaurants, more.

If South Dakota GOP Bigot Lawmaker Michael Clark has his way, life for “Coloreds” would revert to pre-Civil Rights Act of 1964. Many People Say, “Sarkes, why are you so passionate about this story”. Well, Sarkes is Brown himself, Sarkes may be the darkest resident of his Gated Community in Bonita Springs, FL. Will Sarkes, a Brown Man, be required to use a Separate entrance to the Club House, will Sarkes be required to Tee off After the Whites, if Sarkes is barred from the Grill Room, where will he eat his Reuben?

“Many People Say” that the Orange Pulp has empowered many Old White Guys to come out of the Closet and to spew their bigotry. South Dakota Bigot Michael Clark is an example. Sarkes declares that we are now on the top of a Slippery Slope. People of Color BEWARE.

South Dakota GOP Lawmaker Bigot Michael Clark
Black People stopped from entering a White Reastuant
Self Explanatory
Self Explanatory
Self Explanatory
Self Explanatory
Black Man using a “Colored” Water Fountain

King Donald the 1st

Executive Summary:

– The Official Presidential Portrait of the Orange Cheese Ball is completed.

– Time Magazine has been given permission to use the Portrait as a cover to their June 18 magazine.

The Golden Gestapo has approved his Official Presidential Portrait which will hang in the White House during his presidency then will be moved to the Smithsonian Portrait Gallery after.

The Orange Oligarch was so happy with the Portrait that he ordered 100 prints which will be hung in Trump Properties across the world.

The June 18 cover of Time Magazine features the Golden Exalted Ruler looking proudly at his Presidential Portrait. Sarkes Corner’s source in the White House, Leaker, has confirmed that the Orange Emperor will use the unveiling of his Presidential Portrait to officially declare that he is the First King of the United States, King Donald the 1st.

King Donald was quoted by Leaker as saying “I have never left something simple like the Constitution stand in my way of my success. I am the greatest President of all time and will be the Greatest King in United States. The People Love me, Women Love Me, Blacks Love Me, Hispanics Love Me, Orientals Love Me, Veterans Love Me, Canadians Love Me, Mexicans Love Me, heck even the Chinese Love Me.”

King Donald the 1st

The Canadians In the War of 1812

Executive Summary:

– Trump invokes the War of 1812 as justification for tariffs in call with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

The Orange Historian and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had a testy phone call over new tariffs imposed by the Trump administration targeting steel and aluminum imports coming from Canada.

Canadian Trudeau pressed the Golden Bull Horn on how he could justify the tariffs as a “national security” issue. The Orange Jumpsuit told Trudeau, “Didn’t you guys burn down the White House?” referring to the War of 1812.

The problem with the Gold Fingers comments to Trudeau is that British troops burned down the White House during the War of 1812. Canada did not exist in 1812. Maybe the Orange Dufus should be placing steel and aluminum tariffs on the United Kingdom.

Trump and Trudeau debating Steel Tariffs
Proof Positive that it was England, not Canada, that burned down the White House

An FBI Shooting Gone Bad

Executive Summary:

– An Off-Duty FBI agent accidentally shoots man while dancing at bar in Denver

An Off-Duty FBI agent was impressing a crowd at a downtown Denver distillery and bar with dance moves and an improvised backflip — until his handgun tumbled out of his waistband holster and a round went off as he picked it up, injuring another club goer.

The victim was hit in the lower leg and taken to a local hospital but is expected to be OK, according to Denver Police. 

It’s unclear whether the FBI agent had been drinking and authorities are awaiting results of blood tests to determine whether alcohol was a factor. Yeah, what is the probability that alcohol was NOT involved!

The federal Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act, enacted in 2004, allows qualified law enforcement officers, and qualified retired law enforcement officers, to carry a concealed firearm in any jurisdiction in the United States, regardless of state or local laws.

The Orange Commander In Tweets chimed in on this issue with a Tweet:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 6 @ 3:56AM
FBI Agents dancing and doing backflips with loaded firearms all started with Comey and Obama. This will stop under my watch. This would have never happened under J. Edgar Hoover, now that was a man’s man, not a panty waist like the current FBI agents.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 6 @ 4:30AM
The Fake News Liberal Press is blowing this all out of proportion. I said that FBI agents can carry their guns, but they must stop doing back flips. For the real news, watch Fox News, Breitbart News or Sarkes Corner.

Sarkes Analysis:

The problem here is obvious. The Off-Duty FBI agent was White. We all know that White Men cannot dance. Worse than that, White Men cannot do back flips.

Now if one wants to do a back flip, the perfect teacher is Ozzie Smith, Hall of Fame Shortstop for the perennial World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. Ozzie, a Black Man, would do an incredible Back Flip as he ran onto the field for every Season Home Opening Game. Ozzie did this for his 19 years as a Major League player, sticking his landing each and every time. If this was the Olympics, Ozzie would have been awarded a perfect 10 by the Judges, even the Commie Russian Judges.

The Lesson Learned for White Men trying to impress the gals at a Bar: Buy them a Drink, avoid dancing or trying a backflip.

The Badge of the FBI Agent in Denver
Eyewitness Pictures of the FBI Agent shooting a fellow Bar Patron
St. Louis Cardinal Hall of Fame Shortstop Ozzie Smith doing his Back Flip