Sarkes

Executive Summary:

• Sarkes provides a culinary tour of foods indigenous to his hometown, St. Louis, MO.  This was motivated by recent national headlines of the process of Bread-Slicing bagels which started in St. Louis, MO.

• Missouri, formerly the Show Me State, is now know as the Shoot Me State or more recently, the Show Meat State for its legislation to control the labeling of Meat products.

The Sarkes Corner Editorial Staff, Business Bureau, Political Bureau and Florida Bureau have been working overtime with the antics of the Florida Cracker (aka Florida Man) and the antics of the Orange Marmalade.  As such, Sarkes is giving these hard Sarkes Corner workers some well deserved time off and has created a new Food Bureau.

“Many People Say” Sarkes, you were an Engineer at Missouri Science & Technology, where did you get your Journalism Acumen?  A little known fact is that Sarkes worked his way up thru the ranks of the Missouri Science & Technology Yearbook, the RollaMO, eventually rising to Editor in Chief of the 1974 RollaMo.  

But Sarkes digresses, back on point. 

“Many People Say” Sarkes, we’ve been to your hometown St. Louis, Missouri, and your people have some strange and interesting foods.  With that, Sarkes provides a review and explanation of foods indigenous to St. Louis, MO.  

Bread Sliced Bagels:  The process of bread-slicing a bagel has recently made National headlines.  The bread-slicing of bagels started at St. Louis Bread Company, better known as Panera Bread in the rest of the country.  Why bread slice a bagel?  Well, that’s anybody’s guess, but the most logical explanation is that by bread-slicing a bagel, one gets exponentially more bagel area to spread cream cheese.  One look at the rotund people of St. Louis would provide testimony to this.  Note, one does NOT Toast a bread-sliced bagel.

Toasted Ravioli:  Classic St. Louis Toasted Ravioli is made using a meat filled ravioli, coating it in bread crumbs, and frying until golden and crisp. Then it’s served garnished with fresh grated Parmesan and marinara sauce for dipping.  

Like many culinary classics, Toasted Ravioli was invented by accident.  Toasted Ravioli emerged in the Italian Hill neighborhood in St. Louis at a restaurant which is now called Charlie Gitto’s.  A cook named Luigi was making scaloppini with red wine, which is to say he was drinking red wine while cooking scaloppini. In his tipsy state, Luigi accidentally dropped some ravioli into the deep fryer. When he pulled them out, he tried to salvage them with a sprinkling of Parmesan.  They were sent to the bar as an appetizer and, as they say, the rest is history.

Provel Cheese:   Provel is a white processed cheese invented in St. Louis, also by accident.  Provel is a combination of cheddar, swiss, and provolone cheeses which are accented with liquid smoke.  Provel has a low melting point which makes gooey.  Provel is used on St. Louis style Pizza, Cheese soups, and a topping for Italian salad.  Provel is popular in St. Louis but is rarely used elsewhere.

St. Louis Style Pizza:   One thing that Sarkes has learned from moving to the Gunshine State with neighbors from all over the country, is that we all embrace the Pizza of our hometown.  When Sarkes returns to the Shoot Me State to visit family, there is one mandatory task, which is the consumption of a St. Louis Style Pizza.  So what is a St. Louis Style?  St. Louis Style Pizza is: super thin crust, Provel Cheese, and cut in squares.  Sarkes is drooling now just thinking about the St. Louis Style Pizza.

St. Louis Style Spare Ribs:   St. Louis Style Spareribs are the meaty ribs cut from the belly of the pig. The rib becomes a St. Louis Style Spare Rib by cutting away the hard breastbone and chewy cartilage, so the slab is more rectangular in shape and meaty.  The St. Louis Style Spareribs is heavily sauced with a St. Louis Style BBQ Sauce like Maull’s, a very sweet, slightly acidic, sticky, tomato-based BBQ Sauce.

Gus’ Pretzels:   A St. Louis tradition since 1920, Gus’ Pretzel Shop is located on St. Louis’s south side, in the shadows of the world-famous Anheuser-Busch Brewery, in a German neighborhood.  In the early days, customers bought their Gus’ Pretzels from peddlers who sold the pretzels on street corners.   Their most popular style is the Stick Pretzel.  Gus’s Pretzels can be bought outside Busch Stadium to take into the game.

Gooey Butter Cake:  Gooey Butter Cake is unique to St. Louis.  The Gooey Butter Cake is a flat and dense cake made with cake flour, lots of butter, sugar, and eggs. When baked the cake is typically near an inch tall, and dusted with powered sugar.  Gooey Butter Cake is rich, sweet, firm, and able to be cut into pieces similarly to a brownie.  The Gooey butter cake is generally served as a type of coffee cake and not as a formal dessert cake.

Ted Drew’s Frozen Custard:  Ted Drew’s is a family-owned frozen custard company in south St. Louis.  The shop is located on the old US Route 66.  The signature dish is the Frozen Custard “Concrete” which is so thick that it is served to the customer upside down.  While Sarkes has no business eating a Ted Drews Frozen Custard, the countless times he has been to Ted Drews he has never seen a Frozen Custard slip out of the dish when served upside down.

Well that’s it for the culinary tour of St. Louis.  If you go to the Shoot Me State, take your bullet-proof vest and enjoy the foods indigenous to St. Louis.

Executive Summary:

• In a recent edition of Sarkes Corner, Sarkes explained why he was in the process of Suing the Baltimore Orioles.

• There is some late breaking update.

Sarkes has explained that he is suing the Baltimore Orioles for Breech of Contract as Pond Scum owner Bill Veeck had signed a contract with Baby Sarkes in August of 1952 for Sarkes to become a St. Louis Brown starting in March of 1970.  

Why is Sarkes suing the Baltimore Orioles? You see, the St. Louis Browns left St. Louis in 1953 and became the Baltimore Orioles.

Sarkes maintains that Veeck, the precursor to Pond Scum owner LA Rams owner Stan Kronke, was making plans to move the St. Louis Browns to Baltimore WHEN he issued that contract to Baby Sarkes.  Therefor the Breech, Veeck had no intention of honoring that contract with Baby Sarkes.

Sarkeses legal team has contacted the Baltimore Orioles with an offer to settle this embarrassing issue out-of-court.  As you may know, the Baltimore Orioles are the worse team in Major League Baseball and have enough troubles without the threat of a Sarkes law suit compounding their woes.

Well, the Baltimore Orioles counter offer to settle this law suit was a joke.  They said that Sarkeses law suit was a Hoax, a Witch Hunt, and a Failed Take Down.  

To settle this matter, the Baltimore Orioles sent Sarkes a vintage 1952 St. Louis Browns Baseball Cap in hopes to makes this legal action go away.  Sarkes thinks not, this is not over, more to come.

Executive Summary:

• Sarkes plans on Suing the Baltimore Orioles for Breech of Contract

• The Contract in question was signed by former owner, Bill Veeck, when he owned the St. Louis Browns. 

Sarkes was going thru some papers from his youth when he happened upon a Contract that was signed in 1952 with the Owner of the St. Louis Browns, Bill Veeck.

For the young subscribers of Sarkes Corner, Sarkes provides some history.

The St. Louis Browns played in St. Louis from 1901 thru 1953, leaving for Baltimore after the 1953 season and becoming the Orioles.  The St. Louis Browns co-existed in harmony with the St. Louis Cardinals during this time ……..until Bill Veeck purchased the St. Louis Browns. 

Bill Veeck was like a Ring Master in the circus.  

One of Bill Veeck’s most memorable publicity stunts occurred during his tenure with the Browns, with the appearance on August 19, 1951, by Eddie Gaedel who stood 3 feet 7 inches tall and is the shortest person to appear in a Major League Baseball game. Veeck sent Gaedel to pinch hit in the bottom of the first of the game. Wearing “1/8” as his uniform number, Gaedel was walked on four straight pitches and then was pulled for a pinch runner.

Like that immoral, unethical, despicable owner of the Los Angeles Rams, Stan Kronke, Bill Veeck made his money the old fashioned way, he married socialite Mary Frances Ackerman.  Soon thereafter, Bill Veeck bought an 80% stake in the St. Louis Browns in 1951.   Veeck want to force the St. Louis Cardinals out of St. Louis, and started by decorating their shared ball park, Sportsman Park, which was owned by the Browns, exclusively with Browns memorabilia and signage.  

Ironically the Cardinals had long since passed the Browns as St. Louis’ favorite team. Nonetheless, Veeck made a concerted effort to drive the Cardinals out of town.  When the St. Louis Cardinals were sold to Anheuser-Busch in 1952, Veeck realized that the Cardinals now had more resources than he could even begin to match, and he decided to leave St. Louis selling Sportsman’s Park to the Cardinals and moving the Browns to Baltimore after the 1953 season.  Bill Veeck and Stan Kronke are two rotten peas in the same pod.

But back on point.  Sarkes was born on July 13, 1952 at the St. Louis Maternity Hospital.  On August 4, 1952, Bill Veeck signed a contract with Sarkes to report to Spring Training with the St. Louis Browns on March 1, 1970. 

Sarkes is claiming Breech of Contract.  When this contract was issued to young Sarkes, that despicable Bill Veeck already had started the process to move the St. Louis Browns out of St. Louis.  Bill Veeck had no intention of honoring this contract.  

“Many People Say” Sarkes, the Browns left St. Louis in 1953, Bill Veeck died in 1986, and what about the statute of limitations?”  Well, Sarkes plans on suing the Baltimore Orioles.  In 2018, the Baltimore Orioles were the worst team in Baseball, ending with a pitiful record of 47 wins and 115 loses.  The Orioles Stink.  2019 does not shape up any better for the pitiful Orioles.

Sarkes plans on leveraging the woes of the Baltimore Orioles to get an out-of-court settlement. Sarkes is confident that the Baltimore Orioles do not want to suffer the wrath of Sarkes and Sarkes Corner.

Executive Summary:

• Sarkes gets a Uuuuuuge amount of Letters to the Editor of Sarkes Corner, i.e., Sarkes

• While most of those letters are strong endorsements, Sarkes does get some letters of criticism.

Sarkes, Fair and Balanced, is a Truth Machine.  In that spirit, and with open kimono, Sarkes provides several Letters to the Editor that criticize Sarkes Corner as a publication and Sarkes personally.  Sarkes does not identify the letter writers by name, only initials and location.

From DT from Mir-a-Lago, FL:  Sarkes, you claim to be a recovering Liberal who wants to be a Conservative, but you aren’t fooling anyone.  You know that a TRUE Conservative, Donald Trump, has accomplished more in 2 years than any other president in History, History, yet you give him no credit.  You, Sarkes, are a Brown Buffon, Psycho, Beleaguered, Low Energy, Cowardly, Low IQ, Dumb as a Rock, and a Horse Face.

Sarkeses reply:  Dear DT, Sarkes may be a Brown Buffon, but the fact that  Sarkes has a large Armenian nose does not mean he has a Horse Face.  SARKES DOES NOT HAVE A HORSE FACE.

From BK, Westminster, NY:  Sarkes, you running for President in 2020 as an Independent is a scam.  This is a cheap ploy to increase circulation for your Failed Sarkes Corner.  Stop it now.  As a Progressive Conservative, you will be taking votes from the Greatest President in our history, our history, Donald J. Trump.

Sarkeses reply:  Dear BK, Make no mistake, Sarkes is a serious candidate for President in 2020.  Sarkes will get his votes from MODERATE Republicans and MODERATE Democrats.  Early polling indicates that Sarkes will get the entire 5 Million votes cast by Illegal Immigrants in 2016 for Hillary Clinton.

From BW from Birmingham, AL:  Sarkes, I am disgusted with your series “XXX while Black in America”.  How about discrimination against White People.  I am a proud white man from Alabama and cannot help that I am superior to those other people, I was born that a way.  I HAVE NOT come out from under a rock, I proudly own a Double Wide Trailer.  I am one of Trumps Base, and proudly wear my MAGA hat every day.

Sarkes reply:  Dear BW, Sarkes continues to look for stories of discrimination against White Folk but cannot find one.  The good news, in 2040 or earlier, you White Folk will be the Minority with Hispanics in the Majority.  When that happens, there will be many stories of discrimination against Whites.  Sarkes also owns a MAGA Hat. 

From JS, Dallas, TX:  Sarkes, you are a real piece of work and a first class hypocrite.  You claim to be a Fair and Balanced reporter holding Politicians, Crackers, etc accountable for their actions.  Yet, you have your 15 month old Granddaughter, Addison, working on the staff at Sarkes Corner.  Have  you ever heard of Child Labor Laws!  You should be ashamed.  Lock Sarkes Up, Lock Sarkes Up, Lock Sarkes Up!

Sarkeses Reply:  Dear JS, first of all, Baby Adds only helps Sarkes publish Sarkes Corner when Sarkes is in DC.  Baby Adds never leaves the comfort of her home when working on Sarkes Corner.  Sarkes is 66 years old and there will come a time when Sarkes will not be able to maintain the high standards of Sarkes Corner.  At that time, Sarkes will turn over the keys to Sarkes Corner to Baby Adds.  

Executive Summary:

• Sarkes and staff are back from an Excellent vacation to cities in Croatia on the Adriatic Sea.  

Sarkes and staff are back from our Croatia vacation with side trips to Bosnia and Slovenia.  Sarkes Corner has it’s first European subscriber, Tour Guide Marina.  It’s just a matter of time until Sarkes Corner will be spreading the Truth across the entire European Union. 

Sarkes, a benevolent employer, has given the Sarkes Corner Staff the rest of this week off.  With no Sarkes Corner worthy stories ready for Publication, Sarkes will pass on a Poem sent to Sarkes while he was in Croatia.

The author of the Poem wished to remain anonymous. 

Ode to Stormy Daniels

by:  Anonymous

This is the story of Porn Actress and Stripper Stormy D

Who, in 2006, had sex with the Orange Grabber of P

 

Details of this adulteress affair is just now hitting the press

The Gold Bird Dog liked the way Stormy filled out her dress

 

“I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMEN”, STORMY D”

Fake News! cried the Orange Sniffer, oh who do we believe

 

130 Large paid to Stormy by Scheister Michel Cohen

The Gold Lothario had no idea the cash was a flowin

 

Stormy slapped the Orange Skirt Chaser on the Ass

Time Magazine, Trump on the cover, an issue from the past

 

When asked about the size of the Golden Gigolo’s member

Stormy shrugged, Orange was its color, that’s all I remember

 

Don’t blame the Orange Adulterer, this is so far in the past

3 wives and a yearning Johnson, his marriages don’ t last

 

Evangelists endorse the Gold Don Juan, they continue to give

Adultery no longer a sin, our Savior and Lord Jesus forgives

 

Will this story, exaggerated by the Liberal Press, affect the Orange Crown

Not at all, after all, the only thing that’s important is TRICKLE DOWN

 

Many victims of this story, Stormy, the Golden Stud, and more

The real victims are the citizens of America, disgusted to the Core

 

Sarkes thanks Anonymous for backing up Sarkes

Executive Summary:  Sarkes is not happy with the Trade War With China

OK, enough is enough.

It is well documented that Sarkes, a Recovering Liberal, has gone all in, to become a Reagan/Trumpian Conservative.

Sarkes is on the Record as stating that it’s all about the TRICKLE DOWN, nothing else matters.

Sarkes has embraced the tenants of the NEW Conservative GOP:
– Tax Cut and Spend
– Increase the Deficit, who cares
– increase our Military to protect the Mexican Border to keep out Rapists, Criminals, and Drug Dealers
– America first, America only, we are the Big Dog, screw everyone else
– Family Values abandoned, P-Grabbing, A-Pinching and Sniffing now acceptable
– Massive, Uuuuuuuge cuts in regulations on Corporations who are people too, they have learned their lesson and will not screw us anymore
– Uuuuuuge, Tax Cut, Sarkes got more than his fair share of TD here

So why is Sarkes pissed?!!!

Well, it’s simple, the Orange Dotard may have gone too far with this Tarrif Bull S – – t, Trade War with China.

Let the Record also show that Sarkes, in general, could care less about a Tariff War which will increases costs to American consumers. You see, Sarkeses TRICKLE DOWN will more than compensate for increased product costs.

So why is Sarkes going ballistic like a Boeing ICBM?

Yesterday, China, in retaliation to the Golden Gemucks Tarrifs, announced a 25% Tariff on Boeing Commercial Aircraft. A 737 delivered to China was $90 Million before the Orange Traffic Cones Tariff War will now be $112.5 Million.  What the F – – -, what is the Golden Parachute thinking!

The Trade War Score Card For Commercial Aircraft:

Winners:
– AirBus, this European, Government Subsidized, Commercial Aircraft company could now pass Boeing in deliveries of Commercial airplanes.  Tragic, Beleaguered,  Carnage, Evil, Cowardly, Phony, Death Spiral, Deplorable, Failed, Seriously Flawed, Thugs, Covfefe.

Losers:
– America, Boeing is the Biggest Exporter of American products, well, that could end
– 145,000 Boeing employees who have Great Paying Manufacturing and Engineering Jobs under strong leaders like Sarkes
– Sarkes, whose portfolio is under seige. Boeing stock dropped 3% yesterday, more to come.

So Sarkes shouts to the Orange Ameba:  Stop it Now,  Your stupid campaign promises are negatively impacting Sarkes

Sarkes is now considering a 2020 Run for President on the Sarkes Independent Party.