The United States ranks low in the world in Reading, Science, and Mathematics
Only the Orange Professor Can Fix This
At great risk, Sarkeses source in the White House, LEAKER, sent Sarkes an audio tape of a meeting between the Orange Pedagogue and Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. Sarkes provides a transcript of that meeting. Sarkes cannot reveal LEAKERs identity as the White House Staff has been threatened to be charged with Treason if they Leak anything to the Press.
Start of Transcript:
Mick Mulvaney (Chief of Staff): Boss, your next meeting is with Secretary Betsy DeVos.
Donald Trump: Who is Betsy DeVos?
Mick Mulvaney: DeVos is your Secretary of Education.
Donald Trump: Is DeVos that older, good looking Blond with Big Ta Tas at our Cabinet Meetings?
Mick Mulvaney: That’s her Boss. She donated a ton of money for your 2016 Presidential Campaign.
Donald Trump: But Mick, we already have Filly in the Cabinet, Mitch McConnells wife, you know, the Chink, what’s her name?
Mick Mulvaney: That would be Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao. So you have one Rich White Woman and one Asian Woman connected to the Senate Majority Leader.
Donald Trump: Got it Mick, I have the most diverse Cabinet in History, History. What does DeVos want to talk about.
Mick Mulvaney: Secretary DeVos wants to talk about our low Education rankings in the world.
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos enters the room.
Betsy DeVos: Good Morning Mr. President, thank you for seeing me.
Donald Trump (whispering to Mick Mulvaney): Wow, DeVos may be a bit old, but I could Tap that for sure.
Donald Trump: What do you have Betsy?
Betsy DeVos: Well Mr. President, our Education rankings in the World are slipping. Of the top 72 countries, we rank 24th in Reading, 25th in Science, and 40th in Math. I have some ideas…….
Donald Trump (interrupting and raising his voice): Well, if it weren’t for the Blacks, Hispanics and Immigrants from the Shit Hole countries, we would be Number 1, Number 1!!!
Betsy DeVos: Mr. President, what I would like to do …….
Donald Trump (interrupting and raising his voice): Listen Betsy, no offense, but ONLY I CAN FIX THIS. Here is what we are going to do. We will convert ALL Public Schools to TRUMP UNIVERSITY PREPARATORY Schools. Every Public School in the country, got it.
Betsy DeVos: Uh, oh, but Mr. President ……..
Donald Trump (interrupting): If it wasn’t for the Angry Democrats and Failed States Attorneys, my Trump University would be producing highly educated and competent graduates. The Trump University Mascot was a Lion and our School Colors were WHITE and ORANGE. There were no Losers at Trump University.
Donald Trump: So Betsy, go make it happen. ALL Public Schools in America will be converted to Trump University Preparatory Schools by the end of the year, got it.
Betsy DeVos: Got it Boss, will do.
Betsy DeVos leaves the Room;
Donald Trump: Well Mick, that went well don’t you think.
Mick Mulvaney: Uh, yes Boss, it sure did. As usual, Only You Can Fix This. Great solution.
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Religious Bureau Chief and Sister Cindy Mamelian for documenting this Orange Apparition.
Sarkes is not a Catholic so before reporting this story Sarkes had no idea what was an Apparition. An Apparition is a Supernatural image of a person. Most Apparitions are images of Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ or Mary. Apparitions are one time events.
The Catholic Church has a formal process for validating and documenting Apparitions and Apparitions have been documented for Centuries mostly in Europe and South America.
A St. Louis woman, Jan Castellano, was getting ready to have some breakfast when she almost lost her lunch. She opened a tub of Earth Balance Organic Spread with plans to put the vegan butter on her toast. Lowly and Beholy, Castellano stopped short when she saw an image of the Orange Potentate looking right back at her in the tub of Spread.
Castellano said: “It wasn’t necessarily appetizing, but it was entertaining.
This was pretty much before I had coffee, so I was easily amused. I needed to put on my glasses to make sure it was him.”
Castellano, obviously a Liberal, continued: “I wasn’t thrilled to see The Donald, mainly because he is everywhere these days. I thought about saving the Trump-enhanced spread and sell it on eBay, and donate the money to Elizabeth Warren.” Alas, short-term hunger won out over long-term wealth and Castellano ate the Butter after taking a picture as proof.
Sarkes Corner reporters interviewed Archbishop Robert Carlson of the St. Louis Diocese and asked if the Catholic Church would approve the Trump image in the Earth Balance Organic Spread as a Miracle or Apparition. Archbishop Carlson said that the Catholic Church could not investigate this Apparition as the evidence has been destroyed and there was only one witness, Castellano.
After informed about the Earth Balance Organic Spread, the Orange Diocesan Tweeted:
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 4:56AM
I am disappointed that the Failed Catholic Church would not approve my image in the Butter. Everyone knows that I am the Chosen One, the Second Coming of God.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 5:23AM
The Catholic Church should have investigated the Butter. I am the healthiest President in History so I don’t eat Butter, but I have no doubt that my image was in the Butter. It was a miracle and the Catholic Church needs to step up. The lack of action by the Catholic Church is a Sham, Charade, Crusade, a Terrible Thing.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 5:47AM
I am confident that my Evangelical friends will classify my image in the butter as a Miracle. I am the King of the Jews and should be recognized accordingly. The Evangelicals are truly religious, not phony like other denominations.
“The party that lost the 2016 election, the Democratic Party, is trying to achieve results by other means. The Democrats accused Trump of conspiracy with Russia, there was no conspiracy at all. These are all made up charges.”
A. Jim Jordon, Republican Representative from Ohio
B. Devin Nunes, Republican Representative from California
C. Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas
D. Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate Majority Leader
E. Vlads Putin, President for Life – Russian Federation
And the answer is D. Vlads Putin. No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up. Vlads, commenting after the House Impeached the Orange Martyr, vigorously defended his Boy Toy.
We are definitely smack dab in the middle of Bizzaro World. “Many People Say” that Vlads is setting up the Orange Credulous to get the Russian Federation invited to the G8 to be held at Trump Doral in 2020.
Finally, Sarkeses source in the White House, LEAKER, reports that when the Orange Premier gets reelected in 2020, his Orange Majesty will create a “Worlds Strongman Club” to include his buds Putin, Erdogan, Xi, Durarte, and Jung Un
“Many People Say” that the Orange Ecologist is anti environment
Sarkes has data to rebuke that charge
“Many People Say” that the Orange Conservationist believes that the movement to save our environment is as big a Hoax as the Impeachment Inquiry. The Orange Tree Hugger and his GOP Lemmings claims that the Billions spent on cleaning up the Environment is a waste of Taxpayer dollars. The Orange Preservationist claims that the “sky is falling” is a Ruse perpetrated by thousands of Angry Democrats and ill-informed Liberal Scientists.
Sure, on the surface, it would appear that the Orange Nature-Lover is anti-Environment based on his actions like:
Leaving the Paris Climate Agreement
Repealing or reducing many Obama Era Environmental Regulations like:
o the Clean Power Plan
o Toxic Air Pollution regulations
o Fuel Economy Standards
o the Clean Water Act
Yeah Yeah, on the surface, it would appear that the Orange Eco-Freak is anti-Environment. But unlike most media outlooks, the crack Journalist at Sarkes corner dig much deeper into a topic and have concluded that: Trump IS an Environmentalist.
Many of Sarkes Corner readers are Liberal and are now shaking their heads in disbelief and are shouting, “Sarkes, have they legalized Marijuana in Florida, are you high, have you gone mad, what gives?”
Sarkes, a Truth Machine, provides proof positive that Trump IS an Environmentalist.
The Orange Lavatory has ordered the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to do a nationwide review of water efficiency standards. The Orange Urinal claims that because of issues with “sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms, People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. They end up using more water.”
The Orange Latrine amplified: “We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms, where you turn the faucet on in areas where there’s tremendous amounts of water, where it rushes out to sea because you could never handle it. And you don’t get any water. You turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water”. Better than any other President in our history, the Orange Commode has a way of communicating in clear and concise “Merican” language that all Americans can comprehend and understand.
On an Environmental roll, the Orange Privy said that the White House would need to change out the lightbulbs because the new ones are expensive and “give you an orange look.” The Orange Porta Potty has made similar comments before when complaining about the energy efficiency requirements directed under former President Barack Obama.
Again, the Orange Electrician amplified: ”The new bulb is many times more expensive, and, I hate to say it, it doesn’t make you look as good. It gives you an orange look. I don’t want an orange look. Has anyone noticed that?”
So, Sarkes has proved proof positive that our President IS an Environmentalist. With the Economy humming on all cylinders, unemployment never lower, stock market skyrocketing like a Boeing ICBM, Blacks turning into Republicans, the Orange Crapper is taking on Real Environmental issues never before addressed.
Even the Liberals with Stage 4 Trump Derangement Syndrome must agree that it takes 10 to 15 flushes with today’s toilets. Sarkes can give testimony to the Orange Crappers newest Environment initiative. Sarkes cannot count the number of times that he must flush his toilet 10 to 15 times.
Not only are we wasting water, but Americans are spending wasted hours on the Throne.
The Orange Caesar and wife Melania are now residents of Florida, the Gunshine State. Also, Melania’s parents, the last immigrants to make it on the Chain Immigration program, will also move to the Gunshine State with the Orange Duke and his wife.
The Orange El Jefe will call Mir-a-Lago home. This great property, second only to Doral, could host any event like the G7 or other great gathering. If the Orange Potentate wins in 2020, “Many People Say” that he will do an End Run around the Constitution and become President for Life life his buddies; Putin, Erdaron, Duarte, Xi, and Jung Un. This is a Who’s Who Strong Mans Club.
While other Presidents vacationed in Florida; “Give’m Hell” Harry Truman and “Tricky Dick” Richard Nixon, the Orange Maharajah is the first to call the Gunshine State home.
More recently, Vice President Mike Pence vacations regularly in Sarkeses neighborhood, Sanibel Island. Pence retreats to Sanibel for peace and tranquility and to be able to communicate and get guidance from our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.
Sarkes cannot wait for the Orange Stable Genius and Family to settle in their Mar-a-Lago home. Sarkes and the Orange Educator are Tight. You see, Sarkes was one of the first Graduates of that great educational institution, Trump University. Sarkes attained a Journalism degree from Trump University, no Fake News taught at Trump University, the Journalism curriculum was Fair and Balanced.
Mir-a-Lago is a short 2 hour drive from Sarkeses Crib in Bonita Springs, so Sarkes looks forward to visiting the Orange Royal Highness, bring a House Warming Gift, and maybe play a round or two of Golf. Sarkeses handicap using, the USGA Handicap system is a 27. But playing at Mir-a-Lago with the Orange Sand Trap, Sarkes handicap, using the Trump Handicap system, with be a 6.
Trump says that Energy-Efficient Light Bulbs make him Look Orange
Sarkes calls for Equal Rights for Orange People
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and Minnesota Bureau Chief Eric Pederson for this breaking news about our Orange POTUS.
Faster than Walmart can Roll-Back prices on millions of products, the Orange Monarch’s administration has rolled-back HUNDREDS of Obama-era regulations. One of the Orange Eminences Obama Roll Backs was for Energy Efficient Light Bulbs.
It turns out that the Roll Backs on Energy Efficient Light Bulbs was NOT about Making America Great Again, rather, this Roll Back occurred because the Orange Premier believes that Energy Efficient Light Bulbs make him look Orange. The Orange Scientist claims his Orange hue is caused because the light emitted from the energy efficient bulbs is “not good”.
Its clear that the Orange Baron knows more about Science than the Scientists.
For years, Scientists and the Media have tried to determine the source of the Orange Caesars Orange Hue. The “Official” statement from the White House claims that the Orange Hue on the Orange Chosen One is caused by “Good Genes”. Another school claimed the Orange Hue comes from Fake Tanning. Now, the Orange Commandant blames Energy Efficient Light Bulbs.
The Orange Exalted Leader explained the Science behind his edict to Roll Back standards on Energy Efficient Light Bulbs:
“The light bulb. People said what’s with the light bulb? I said here’s the story. I looked at it, the bulb that we’re being forced to use, number one to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”
“But number two, it’s many times more expensive than that old incandescent bulb that worked very well. And very importantly—I don’t know if you know this—they have warnings. If it breaks it’s considered a hazardous waste site. It’s gasses inside”
“I am not a vain person…but I look better under an incandescent light than these crazy lights that are beaming down.”
Sarkes understands the position of the Orange Czar. You see, Sarkes, a Brown Man, understands the life of person of Color living in America today. When Sarkes goes to breakfast with the Spring Run Conservative Men’s Breakfast Club at local eateries, Sarkes is always at Risk of getting caught up in a ICE Raid looking for Illegal Mexican Cooks and Table Cleaners.
Sarkes believes that Orange People have an even tougher time in America verses Black, Brown, Red, and Yellow Americans. The Orange People minority is So Small that most Racists Americans just assume that Orange People are just the victims of a Bad Tanning job.
Sarkes is hereby starting a movement to get America to recognize Orange People for who they are, America’s Smallest Minority. It time to get Orange People out of the Closet and allow them to live Free in America without making excuses like “Energy Efficient Light Bulbs make them look Orange”. This is no way to live.
And what better time to push for Equal Rights for Orange People since the most powerful person in the Free World is himself an Orange Man.
Sarkes called the Orange Commander in Tweets to discuss how he was treated at the Philadelphia airport upon returning from Europe.
Donald Trump: “Hello Sarkes, its been a while since we have talked, how was your European vacation, what can I do for you?”
Sarkes: “Donnie, Sarkes is PISSED. I was assaulted by your crazy Base in the Philadelphia airport after clearing Customs. They were shouting: “Send Him Back! Send Him Back! Send Him Back!. They were like an angry mob. I didn’t know what this was all about until I caught up reading the on-line Fox News Fair and Balanced.
Donald Trump: “Sarkes Sarkes, you know there are just a few Journalist I trust, specifically you and Sean Hannity. This was all a big misunderstanding.
Sarkes: “With all due respect Donnie, misunderstanding my ass. This crazed mob of your Base were wearing red MAGA and were shouting at anyone who was Brown, Yellow or Black, Sarkes included.”
Donald Trump: “Now settle down Sarkes, let me explain. This all started earlier this week when I called out those 4 Socialist Congressman Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan and Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts. These ungrateful people do not love America and I suggested they go back to their country of origin. They just all happened to be people of color.
Sarkes: “Donnie, you said what!?”
Donald Trump: “Now Sarkes, settle down, this got overblown as usual by the lying Liberal Press. This is nothing. I do not have a Racist Bone in my body, I am the least racist President of all time.”
Sarkes: “What about your rally in North Carolina when your crazy White Base started shouting “Send Her Back, Send Her Back, Send Her Back”.
Donald Trump: “Yeah Sarkes, I was not happy with that chant, and I started to speak quickly to stop it. I disagree with it. But again, I didn’t say that, they did, but these are good people, passionate people, they love America and are not pleased with these Socialists. I can’t blame them.”
Sarkes: “Donnie, why did the crazed White Mob verbally assault Sarkes at the Philadelphia airport?”
Donald Trump: “I don’t know Sarkes, maybe it’s because you are Brown and they mistook you for a Hispanic or Arab, you could pass for both. You know I love Armenians and Armenians love me. You know that all of my carpets in the Trump International Resorts are bought from Armenians, mostly Asadorian Carpets. And, all of my Dry Cleaning is done by Armenians, I don’t trust the Chinks.”
Sarkes: “Donnie, you know we Armenians are hot headed, Sarkes is still pissed, but will get over it. Talk to you later.
Donald Trump: “OK Sarkes, keep up the good reporting in Sarkes Corner, you are a Truth Machine.”
Late Breaking News, Sarkes reports on a Meeting in the Oval Office
Sarkes reviles behind the scenes decisions
In Late Breaking News, before heading to Europe with the Sarkes Corner Staff, Sarkes received an Emergency Call from his source in the White House, LEAKER. At great risk, LEAKER said that he had a recording of a meeting in the Oval Office between the Orange Commander and Chief of Staff (Acting) Mick Mulvaney, discussing the 4th of July Celebration in DC.
Sarkes provides the transcript of the meeting between the Orange King Pin and Mulvaney, Word for Word. Sarkes reports, you decide.
Mick Mulvaney: “Boss, there are a few things we need to discuss about the 4th of July Celebration tomorrow ….”
The Orange Commandant: (Interrupting) “Mick, this will be the GREATEST event in American History. There is no other Military that comes close to ours. We will put all of those other parades to shame. Even my buds Vlads and Kim will not be able to compete. I am a WINNER and will always be a WINNER. There will be a record number of people in the National Mall, even more than my Inauguration!”
Mick Mulvaney: “Ok Boss, but I need to go over a few things. First, the Press and Democrats will be watching you closely. They claim that you are using Tax Payer money for what will be a Political Rally for your 2020 Presidential Run. You need to be careful about what you say …..”
The Orange Monarch: (Interrupting) “Mick, F – – k the Fake News Media and the Socialist Democrats, they are all a bunch of F – – king Idiots, Stone Cold Losers, Low IQ, Deranged Animals. I will say what ever I want, you understad. Let them try to charge my Campaign. I will just ignore them, and if they sue we have the Supreme Court in our pocket. F – – K THEM! What’s Next.
Mick Mulvaney: “Uh, oh, well, OK, I don’t have anything else”
The Orange Emperor: “Well Mick, I have a few questions. Have Sarah Sanders get a hold of my Sec Def Patrick Shanahan”
Mick Mulvaney: “Uh Boss, Sarah Sanders resigned as of the end of June and Shanahan resigned a few weeks ago over some Domestic Violence issues. Your new Press Secretary is Stephanie Grisham who will do double duty as Melania’s Press Secretary. Your new Acting Sec Def is Mark Esper.”
The Orange Autocrat: “Oh well, we don’t need a Press Secretary, I told Sarah not to hold any Press Conferences, make sure Stephanie gets the word. And I don’t believe for a minute that Shanahan is guilty of Domestic Violence. He told me he did not do that and I have no reason to doubt him. After all, he was a Boeing Executive and they have a strict Code of Conduct. That Sarkes guy was also a Boeing Executive and his Sarkes Corner is Fair and Balanced. Oh well, get Esper in here immediately.
Meeting is suspended and 30 minutes later Acting Sec Def Mark Esper arrives from the Pentagon.
Mark Esper: “Sir, Mick said that you had a few questions about the 4th of July activities tomorrow.”
The Orange King: “Mark, Mick tells me that you have scheduled a Fly Over with Air Force 1, the F-18 Blue Angels, and the F-22. If anyone asks, you are using DOD Training Budget for these Flyovers, understand. And, Air Force 1 and F-18 Blue Angels are great Boeing products that always come in ahead of schedule and under cost so give them the most Air time. The Failed Lockheed Martin F-22 is BILLIONS over cost and YEARS behind Schedule. Scratch the F-22 from the Flyover.”
Mark Esper: “Uh, oh, well, yes Sir, will do”
The Orange Royal Majesty: “And Mark, I want those Abrams Tanks that are staged on the National Mall to roll toward the Podium when I talk, understand.”
Mark Esper: “But sir, we can’t do that, the DC Mayor and Police have told us that the Abrams Tanks are not allowed on their streets due to the damage that will cause…..”
The Orange Potentate: (interrupting) “Just what about I just told you don’t you understand, remember that I am your Boss and you take orders directly from me. And F – – k that Failed DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, her name is Bowser because she has the face of the Dog. What is DC going to do, send me a Bill, (laughing), I’ll just ignore that like I do everything else, now make it happen.
Mark Esper: “Yes sir, whatever you say”
The Orange Premier: “Now Mark, Mick Tells me that the stupid Baby Trump Ballon will be flying over the National Mall. That is Totally Illegal, Evil, flown by Fools, Seriously Flawed, a Hit Job, Phony and TREASONOUS, TREASONOUS! If they fly the Baby Trump Ballon I am ordering you to shoot is down, I don’t care what you use. Understand.”
The Orange Exalted Ruler: “Mark, one last thing, I want our troops to Goose Step when they march toward me before I speak. If Putins, Kims, Duartes, and Erderon’s troops can Goose Step our US troops should Goose Step higher and better.”
Mark Esper whispers to Mick Mulvaney: (whispering) “Mick, we do not have any troops lined up to march tomorrow, where did he get that idea.”
Mick Mulvaney whispers to Mark Esper: (whispering) “Mark, just shake your head and leave.”
The Orange Fuhrer: “Ok Mick, that should do it. Oh wait, has my Uniform been delivered? While I am the fittest President EVER, I want to make sure that the Tailor did not screw up and made it too tight.”
Mick Mulvaney: “Your Uniform was delivered, I’ll bring it right up.”
Is it possible that the Orange Cantaloupe and Sarkes have enough in Common that they are 2 Peas in a Pod?
“Many People Say” Sarkes, you and the Orange Jumpsuit have so much in common that you are 2 Peas in a Pod.
At first, Sarkes was in Full Denial. How could this be? Sarkes, a Truth Machine, stepped away from this story and asked his Crack Sarkes Corner Investigative Team to investigate.
In a somber meeting at the Sarkes Corner Headquarters, the Harsh Facts were laid out for Sarkes by the Sarkes Corner Investigative Team:
1. Sarkes and the Orange Creamsicle were both Democrats before becoming Republicans.
2. Not only did Sarkes and the Orange Ameba switched to become Republicans, both became staunch Reagan Conservatives.
3. The Orange Commander in Tweets and Sarkes did not serve in the Viet Nam War. The Orange Podiatrist had Bone Spurs and Sarkes had a High Draft Lottery Number (Young Subscribers to Sarkes Corner need to Google “Viet Nam Era Draft Lottery” for details).
4. The Orange Exalted Leader and Sarkes have both been the Victims of Investigations. The Orange Goliath was victimized by Mueller and the 17 “Angry Democrats”. Sarkes was investigated by the “16 Angry Sweeds” on the Nobel Committee for Plagiarism while writing the Award Winning Sarkes Corner. Both Investigations were Phony, a Hoax, Hit Job, Witch Hunt, Failed Takedown, Treasonous, and a Thousand Stabs, a Thousand.
5. Both Sarkes and the Orange Flag Stick love to play Golf. The Orange Divot uses the USGA Rules of Golf and Cheats to get his Low Handicap. Sarkes uses the Eric Pedersen Rules of Golf but still has a High Handicap.
6. Both Sarkes and the Orange Tangerine are Colored. Trump is Orange and Sarkes is a Brown Man. Being people of Color has not stopped the Orange Zest or Sarkes from accomplishing great things.
7. Both the Orange Einstein and Sarkes are Extremely STABLE GENIUSES. The Orange Monarchs Lackeys are often paraded in front of the Fox News Cameras to give testimony on the Genius of the Orange Intellect. On the other hand, Sarkeses Genius is demonstrated in Sarkes Corner.
8. The Orange Pacifier and Sarkes are always Cool and Calm. At a recent Sarkes Corner Staff Meeting, Sarkes took a poll of the Sarkes Corner staff and was told:
“Sarkes, You were very Calm, and you laid out the case”
“You are Calm, very Calm”
“You are always Calm”
“I don’t know how you stay so Calm”
Sarkes, a perennial finalist for the Nobel Prize in Mathematics, can make an inference from only 1 Data Point. Here, the Sarkes Corner Staff has provided 8 Data Points, 8!, that the Orange Tabby and Sarkes have much in common. Now that’s powerful, indisputable Data.
Well, there you have it, the Harsh Truth, Proof Positive that the Orange Crush and Sarkes are indeed, 2 Peas in a Pod.
Rick Reilly has written a book about how the Orange Duffer Cheats at Golf
Is this just another Vicious Attack, Hoax, Witch Hunt, Hit Job, Illegal Take Down, and Treasonous attack against the Orange Caddie?
There are a number of different Rules of Golf, so what seems like Cheating may not be. At Spring Run, some of us use the Pedersen Alternate Rules of Golf
The Orange Flag Stick is under constant Siege by the Liberal Press and Demon Democrats. The latest assault against the Orange Shanker is from Sports Writer, Rick Reilly. While both are famous Writers, do not mistake Rick Reilly for Bill Reilly.
Rick Reilly’s new book; COMMANDER IN CHEAT, documents that the Orange Flag Stick is a Serial Cheater when he plays Golf. In addition to his Sports books, Reilly is best known for his work on ESPN and ABC Sports. With his vicious attack on the Orange Bogey, Reilly is obviously a Demon Democrat.
For sure, the Orange Bogey is the most proficient Presidential Golfer of All Time. It is projected that the Orange Mulligan will play over 600 rounds of Golf during his eight years in office as President, far surpassing the previous record established by Barrack Obama who played 306 round of Golf in his eight years in office.
The Orange Birdie should get credit where credit is due. He has kept most of his Campaign Promises………except 1. During his Campaign, the Orange Sand Bunker said:
“I’m going to be working for you. I’m not going to have time to play golf.”
“I love golf, but if I were in the White House, I don’t think I’d ever see Turnberry (a Trump Golf Resort) again, I don’t think I’d ever see Doral (a Trump Golf Resort) again, I don’t ever think I’d see anything — I just want to stay in the White House and work my ass off, make great deals, right? Who’s gonna leave?”
The foundation of Golf, from weekend Duffers to the Pros, is that the Sport is self-managed, there are no Umpires or Referees. So what are some of the Fake News allegations perpetrated by Rick Reilly on how the Orange Fairway Cheats when playing Golf:
Taking credit for several Club Championships when he did not complete in the Tournaments.
Lying about his Score
Hitting Multiple Balls without counting the strokes
Sabotaging the shots of his Opponents
Claiming during his Campaign that he was a “Winner” having won 18 Club Championships”
Claiming to have a 3 Handicap but Pros he has played with estimate that he probably is really a 10 Handicap
Taking a Competitors Golf Ball and throwing it into a Sand Bunker
Driving his Golf Cart across the Green
Always Tees off First even if he does not have the “Honors” (best score on the previous hole) and then drives down the Fairway before his Competitors hit their Tee Shot
Hitting a ball into Water and claiming he did not see it so he takes a second free shot
Putting a lower number on the Score Card than what he actually scored
But is the Orange Stroke Play a Cheater when he plays Golf? Sarkes says Whooooa, not so fast. If one is playing Golf by USGA Rules then, yes, the Orange Ball Mark is a Cheater. BUT, there are more than one set of Rules when playing Golf. As an example, at the Spring Run Golf Club in Bonita Springs, FL, Sarkes home course, neighbor Eric Pedersen has developed an innovated set of Alternative Rules of Golf that are different from those used by the USGA. As such, when using the Pedersen Rules of Golf one could be accused of Cheating under the USGA Rules of Golf.
In his Book, Rick Reilly asked; Why does no one push back at all? Why does everyone he plays with just smile and let him cheat?. The answer:
Because it’s his course. You get to play free, and he’s probably gonna pay for lunch, but all that matters is that he wins. That’s the only requirement when you’re on the Trump train.
“Many People Say”; Sarkes, who cares? It doesn’t even matter does it?
Well, Sarkes, a High Handicapper, does not know if any of accusations that the Orange Worm Burner are true. But, golf is based on integrity. Golfers call their own penalties. So if the Orange Divot Cheats at Golf, then why wouldn’t he cheat on Taxes, Wives, Elections, Suppliers, things he said he said to people, things he wrote, etc? He could lie about anything if he’s gonna lie about Golf.
But, on the other hand, this could all be another Vicious Attack, Hoax, Witch Hunt, Hit Job, Illegal Take Down, and Treasonous attack against the Orange Flop Shot.