– A man with a tattoo of a gun on his face is charged with illegally possessing a gun
A man with a handgun tattooed on his forehead has been charged by South Carolina police with illegally possessing a firearm.
According to Greenville, South Carolina, police, Michael Vines attempted to ditch a loaded .38-caliber revolver after a recent car wreck by throwing it into a grassy area.
Vines is prohibited from Packing Heat, so he had a handgun tattooed on his forehead. Vines, is part of the Orange Howitzers Base, and is another proud, Heat Packing, Great American.
When Sarkes first read the story of a White guy with a handgun tattooed on his face, he naturally assumed that this was another great Florida Cracker story. Lowly and Beholy, this story is out of South Carolina!
Sarkes then assumed that Michael Vines may be a Florida Cracker who may have moved to South Carolina, but that is not the case. So, apparently, there are Poor, Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural White guys, i.e., the Golden Glocks Base, in South Carolina also. Who would have thought?
A Press Release from the NRA stated: “While we don’t condone the illegal acts of Mr. Vines, we support his right to tattoo a hand gun on his face, and we will vigorously fight any efforts to implement Gun Tattoo Control. While the NRA is all about the 2nd Amendment, all Americans have the Right to tattoo a hand gun anywhere they want on their body as this is a Right protected by the 1st Amendment.”
This may be a first. Sarkes agrees with the NRA. As Americans, we have the Right to do imbecilic things and to look stupid. These are rights guaranteed by our Constitution. Thank you Founding Fathers.
– A man with no arms stabbed a tourist in Miami Beach
– Could this be a windfall for the Perp?
Thanks to Sarkes Corner contributor Steve Moss for this strange Cracker Crime story out of Miami.
Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. It seems like the number of ways that Crackers can inflict pain on each other is endless. In this case, the victim was a tourist from Chicago.
Miami Beach police say 46-year-old Cracker Jonathan Crenshaw, who has no arms, held a pair of scissors with his feet and stabbed 22-year-old tourist Cesar Coronado just after midnight last week.
Cracker Crenshaw is a well-known Miami Beach street artist who uses his feet to paint. Cracker Crenshaw’s paintings are colorful mosaics that feature eyes, and sell for as much as $60.
Tourist Coronado and a friend told police that Coronado had only asked for directions before the vicious attack. Tourist Coronado was bleeding from his left arm when he was admitted to a local hospital.
Cracker Crenshaw claimed he acted in self-defense after Coronado punched him in the head. That’s the problem with our judicial system, our jails are filled with innocent people. Alas, in this case, Cracker Crenshaw has had multiple run-ins with police, including violent crime charges like battery on a police officer.
Who knows, maybe Cracker Artist Crenshaw’s street paintings will be more in demand now and the prices could exponentially inflate, just like the Portfolios of us Rich, Old, White, Guys. Unlike the Fake News spewed by the Liberal Press, Trickle Down comes in many different ways and is not just reserved for Rich, Old, White guys.
– A woman, stopped for a DUI, tells police she’s a “clean, thoroughbred, white girl”
– Will White Supremacy become a new Defense strategy?
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story out of Bluffton, South Carolina.
Police in Bluffton, South Carolina say a woman they saw speed through a stop sign at 60 mph told officers she should not be arrested because she’s a “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl.”
The Bluffton Police report says 32-year-old Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw was slurring her words and a breathalyzer showed her blood-alcohol level at .18 percent, but she said shouldn’t be jailed because she was a cheerleader and a sorority girl who graduated from a “high accredited university,” and her partner’s “a cop.”
Lauren Cutshaw Has a Degree in Business Administration from Louisiana State University
Taken to the police station in handcuffs, she described herself as a white “thoroughbred” and “went on to say ‘I’m a white, clean girl,’”. When asked what being a “white, clean girl” had to do with anything; she replied, “You’re a cop, you should know what that means.” Cutshaw was jailed Saturday on charges including drunken driving, speeding and marijuana possession.
While many subscribers of Sarkes Corner may think that this is just another amusing story about a Drunk, Sarkes digs deeper. Sarkes Connects Dots where most do not even see the Dots. In this case, Sarkes sees some disturbing Dots.
1. For whatever reason, the election of the Orange Mac & Cheese has brought the White Supremacists out of the closet and onto the streets of America. In today’s political environment, the White Supremacists feels empowered to spread their doctrine, which is that the White Race is inherently superior to other races, and that White people should have control over people of other races. This is disturbing to Sarkes as Sarkes, as an Armenian, is Brown.
2. With the exception of Kenya West, Ben Carson, Diamond & Silk and the Black guy at the Trump political rallies, most all Conservatives are white.
3. With the inevitable confirmation of Conservative Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, our Supreme Court will be A Super Majority Conservative Supreme Court.
The Dots: White Supremacists -> Conservatives are primarily White -> A Conservative Supreme Court
After Sarkes Connects the Dots, he ponders……will our Conservative Supreme Court rule that being a Clean, Thoroughbred, White person become a legal defense to a DUI and other crimes?
– It is not unusual for a Florida Cracker to Drink and Drive
– What makes this special is that this Florida Cracker chugged his can of Beer during the DUI stop
Sarkes continues to lament that he cannot make this stuff up. Sarkeses neighbors, the Florida Cracker, never ceases to amaze. But here at Sarkes Corner, you get the Truth, Sarkes Corner is a Truth Machine. Sarkes Corner – No Spin, You Win.
A Florida Cracker, Daryl Royal Riedel, was pulled over by police on suspicion of drunk driving but continued to drink even after being stopped by a sheriff’s deputy. While waiting for the deputy to approach his car, Cracker Ridel raised a can of Busch beer and chugged down the suds.
Minutes earlier, Cracker Riedel had sped off after being pulled over for the first time due to a suspended license, leading police on a two-mile car chase. Cracker Riedel told the deputies that he drove away the first time because he was scared.
Cracker Riedel has 3 previous DUI convictions and is out on bail for a 4th DUI infraction. Apparently drinking and driving by Crackers in Florida is no big deal.
Cracker Riedel is now facing charges including felony DUI, fleeing from a deputy, driving with a suspended license, and failure to submit a breath test.
Asked why he drove with a suspended license, Cracker Riedel said, “because I still have to work.”
While Florida Crackers score very low on the Socio-Economic and Intelligence measures, many are hard workers, albeit working minimum wage jobs. One of Sarkeses Rich, Old, White, Florida neighbors describe the Florida Cracker as “the Salt of the Earth”.
Sarkes is still investigating how Cracker Riedel can have 3 previous DUI convictions, been charged with a 4th, and is still driving! Has he been given lenient sentences by Juries of his Cracker Peers? This makes no sense as the Gunshine State, with a super majority GOP state legislature, should be tough on crime. Something here stinks.
In any case, Sarkes understands why Cracker Riedel would chug his beer in the presence of deputies who are ready to arrest him. While Bush Beer is a low end, cheap beer, it’s like Champaign to a uneducated, underemployed, Florida Cracker.
Interviewed after his arrest, Cracker Riedels lawyer said it was unfair that Police will not let citizens “suspected” of DUI to finish their beers before being arrested. Since Cracker Riedel is a solid part of the Orange Budweiser’s Base, the lawyer plans on contacting the White House to get Cracker Riedel a Presidential Pardon.
A Florida Crackerette defends her drunk driving using Cracker logic: “Jesus drank wine and so did I”
– This drunk driving suspect says she’s just a follower of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ
– Sarkes connects Dots where most cannot even see the Dots
– Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.
A Cracker who is inebriated is a problem. An inebriated Cracker driving a car is a formula for disaster. Inebriated Cracker Drivers who get their marching orders from our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ while driving a car is, well, off the scales in Biblical proportions.
After a night of boozing, Florida Crackerette, Nicole Ann Mintner, defended herself to police by telling arresting officers that “Jesus drank wine and so did I.”
Deputies said they found the 45-year-old Crackerette asleep at the wheel inside a silver Dodge with her hazard lights activated and engine running in Sumter, Florida. Sumter is between Orlando and Ocala, smack dab in the Heart of Cracker / Trump country.
A drunk Florida Cracker, who is also under the influence of Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, presents a unique challenge for Law Enforcement officers:
During police interviews, Crackerette Mintner reportedly refused to take off her sunglasses and slapped an officer twice.
Crackerette Minter told officers that she had taken Xanax then later admitted to drinking alcohol after four empty sangria bottles were found in her center console.
When Crackerette Mintner was placed under arrest, she continuously screamed and threatened to urinate while en route to Sumter County Hoosegow.
At the Hoosegow, officers attempted to perform field sobriety tests on Minter but she kept talking over them singing “Amazing Grace.”
Crackerette Minter was not finished. She threw her socks at a camera recording the sobriety tests and exposed herself to the officers, removing her right breast from her shirt and revealed it to the camera and jail staff.
“Many People Say” Sarkes, a drunk Cracker getting arrested for DUI is a daily occurrence in the GunShine State, what makes this a Sarkes Corner worthy story?
Sarkes connects dots where most do not even see the dots. With the retirement of Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, his replacement will be Ultra Conservative. The Freedom of Religion portion of the 1st Amendment will take on a whole new meaning with our new Conservative Supreme Court. Crackerette Minters case is an example. “Jesus drank wine and so did I” could be a defense that keeps inebriated, God Fearing Christians out of the Hoosegow.
– A Florida man, 72, tries to mow down his neighbor with a tractor
– This shows that Cracker on Cracker violence is not limited to Packing Heat.
Thanks to Sarkes St. Louis friend Betty Wucher for this story about Cracker on Cracker violence in St. Augustine, FL.
Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.
Typically, Cracker on Cracker violence involves one or both Crackers Packing Heat. But, there are other forms of Cracker on Cracker violence like using broken beer bottles, knifes, and now………..Tractors.
A 72-year-old Florida man was arrested after he was caught on video chasing down his neighbor on a tractor during a dispute over a property dispute.
Cracker Howell Lamar Morris of St. Augustine was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.
When officers arrived on scene, neighbor Cracker Scott Lynch, 53, told them he was arguing with Cracker Morris over property when Cracker Morris climbed onto his tractor and chased him yelling, “Run, you Fat Ass, Run.”
The video, filmed by Lynch’s wife, does verify that Cracker Lynch, is indeed, a Fat Ass. The video led to Cracker Morris’ arrest.
Huffing and Puffing, Cracker Lynch was able to escape when he entered his garage and shut the door.
Sarkes pondered, how could Cracker Morris, riding his tractor on full throttle, not run down Fat Ass Cracker Lynch? Sarkeses reached out to the University of Illinois School of Agriculture who analyzed the video. The answer was simple. Cracker Morris was riding a foreign made Kubota Tractor. Had Cracker Morris been riding an American Made John Deer Tractor, he would have easily mowed down Fat Ass Cracker Lynch.
The Orange Homesteader Tweeted:
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 15 @ 4:58AM
Thankfully, a great supporter of mine, Scott Lynch of Florida, is safe, but was almost killed by a neighbor, probably a Liberal, driving a Foreign tractor. Just goes to show that AMERICA MAKES THE BEST FARM EQUIPMENT, none better. Republicans make the best Farmers and Ranchers, and they only buy American Farm Equipment. Republican Farmers…..using American Farm Equipment…….Making America Great Again.
No shots fired, but one Fat Ass Cracker could have died from a heart attack.
– Florida woman named Crystal Methvin arrested for possession of Crystal Meth
– Florida Republican Leader posts support for Roseanne’s Racial Tweet
While Sarkes Corner Contributor and Sister, Cindy Mamelian, lives in Missouri, The Shoot Me State, she is a regular visitor to Florida, The Gunshine State. The Florida Cracker never ceases to amaze Cindy.
Cindy sent 2 stories of the antics of Florida Crackers which Sarkes shares here. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.
Florida Cracker Story 1: Florida police arrested a woman named Crystal Methvin for possession of Crystal Meth Saturday morning. St. Augustine police said they arrested Cracker Methvin, 40, and her friend, Cracker Douglas Nickerson, 41, after getting an anonymous complaint.
Police say the Florida Crackers consented to a search, and officers arrested Methvin and Nickerson after finding crystal meth and drug paraphernalia.
Both were taken to St. Johns County Jail.
Sarkes Editorial: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Florida Cracker Story 2: A Republican leader in Leesburg, Florida has said he doesn’t understand the anger generated by Roseanne Barr’s tweet comparing a former adviser to President Barack Obama to an ape.
Lake County Republican Committeeman Ralph Smith posted an image of Valerie Jarrett side-by-side with an image of a character from “Planet of the Apes” on Facebook with the caption, “And the issue with Roseanne is?”
Cracker Smith is a proud, Heat Packing, Red Hat “Make America Great Again”, supporter of the Orange Dotard. He is the prototype member of “Trump’s Base”.
The Daily Commercial in Leesburg, Florida, published a story Wednesday quoting Smith as saying that he thought the comparison was “funny.”
Smith deleted his post Wednesday. On a radio show he hosts, he said he doesn’t care about a person’s color, only their values. Smith has made another Facebook post to apologize that his “attempt at humor was crass and inappropriate.”
“My knowledge of Valerie Jarrett, as a black woman, was only understood yesterday,” Smith’s apology post read. “My understanding was that she was of Iranian descent, a darker than average Caucasian, much like myself. Had no idea of her ancestry.”
Sarkes Editorial: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Sarkes finds Florida Cracker Story 1 amusing.
Sarkes finds Florida Cracker Story 2 ……………. well, Sarkes is speechless.
Yeti Products are being sacrificed by Heat Packing Great Americans.
CNN reported that the company that makes Yeti Products is the latest of a number of companies who have severed ties with the powerful gun lobby, the NRA, in the wake of February’s mass shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida.
In protest, NRA supporters are blowing up their expensive YETI coolers and Yeti Mugs over a canceled discount that Yeti had provided to NRA Members.
Sarkes understands that many Subscribers to Sarkes Corner are City Dwellers who don’t pack Heat, and thus know very little about Yeti Products. There is a Strong, Positive Correlation between Heat Packing Americans and Americans who own Yeti products. So, Sarkes will provide a Yeti Tutorial.
Yeti produces Hight End Insulated Products popular with Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, Rural White Folk, i.e., Trump voters. These products include Mugs and Coolers. The Yeti Mugs cost as much as $50 and the Yeti Coolers typically cost $350 to $1,300.
The original target market for Yeti products were Hunters, Fisherman, and Campers. The performance of Yeti products in not Fake News. Yeti products do keep your Cold liquids Cold and your Hot liquids Hot.
Later, the market for Yeti’s shifted to the entirety of, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters. Sarkes is amazed that the while the Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters, struggle to make ends meet, they always find the money to buy their High End Yeti products, Beer, and Ammo for their Heat. In America, we are all free to make choices.
Today, it is common to see Yeti products in the hands of affluent White Folk, like Sarkeses neighbors in the Gated Golf Course Communities in Southwest Florida. Sarkes and his neighbors now display their Yetis as a status symbol of their wealth. Sarkeses research has not determined how the Brown and Black communities have embraced the Yeti, but it’s rare to see a Black Man or Brown Man with a Yeti Cooler or Yeti Mug.
Typical reactions to the Yeti slight of the NRA :
Bryan Atkinson of Buford, South Carolina packed his Yeti Cooler with 22 pounds of explosives and then blew it up with a burst from his Semi-Automatic AR-15. Akinson stated “If Yeti can’t stand behind the NRA, I ain’t standing behind Yeti no more,”. Obviously, Grammar is not a strong suit of Yeti Owners.
Leroy Franklin of Macon, GA, said: “I own several expensive Yeti products and planned on purchasing more, however, NOT NOW,”
Jimmy Phillips of Plano, TX said: “You just lost my family’s business. The second amendment is important, YETI is not. Shame on you.”
Joe Krawtschenko of Lakewood Ranch, FL, admitted his YETI coffee mug actually works pretty well. But Yeti’s slight of the NRA has changed his mind on using the mug. In protest, Krawtschenko Loaded and Locked his AR-15 and blasted his Yeti Mug.
The Orange Rifleman, who recently addressed the NRA Convention on the Yeti issue Ranted: “Yeti is no friend of the NRA. I would love to Bitch Slap those Traitors who are still using their Yeti’s. I would say get those son of a bitch Yeti users out of here right now, YOUR FIRED!. You know, those Yeti Turn Coats who want to keep using their Yeti’s, maybe they shouldn’t be in this Country. I say if you see a person using a Yeti, you should take their Yeti and go to court later, Yeti users do not deserve Due Process”. Note: Trump got a 5 minute standing ovation from those in attendance at the NRA Convention.
There you have it, the Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters, are Mad as Hell, and are not taking this Politically Correct PC Crap anymore. While they truly love their Yeti Products, they will not Kowtow to The Yeti Man.
Yeti Products may be superior in keeping Cold things Cold and Hot things Hot, but they are no match with an AR-15. Load and Lock your AR-15, put on your Red “Make America Great Again” caps, and death to all things Yeti.
– Nope, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up
– Was Hillary Clinton behind this heinous act?
WARNING WARNING WARNING – This Sarkes Corner is not to be read by those with squeamish stomachs. Also, Old, Rich, White Folk who have people who clean their houses and can afford Orkin for Pest Control may believe that this is Fake News as they have never seen a Roach in their homes. WARNING WARNING WARNING
Sarkeses Florida Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.
Normally, one would think of Roach infestation issues in the Black Ghettos or Brown Barrios of big cities like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, etc. This Roach story comes from the Gunshine State, Florida, in the capital city of Tallahassee, in a White neighborhood.
Florida Cracker Blake Collins has been fighting roaches in his apartment near the campus of Florida State University for 3 years.
Collins said that roaches can be found everywhere in his house, and some come out of his bulb sockets. A bowl with dog food shortly attracts dozens of German roaches. But last week, the pest problem reached its peak. Collins woke up at 5 a.m. to a roach moving inside his ear.
Collins told medical personnel: “A roach was burrowing inside of my head. I could hear his legs inside me. It felt like someone was shoving a Q-tip all the way inside my head and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”
Doctors used a syringe to put lidocaine, a numbing medication, inside his ear to kill the roach — which also had laid eggs.
Collins went on to explain: “I heard the Roach die in my head. When the Doctor poured the lidocaine in, I could feel the Roach go super, super fast, kicking and try to dig its way out, and a faint little squeal and then two minutes later, it just stopped and he died.”
It is estimated that 92% of Registered Florida Cracker Voters voted for the Orange Good Ol Boy. It is also estimated that double the number of Registered Florida Crackers were not Registered to vote as they could not read or sign the Voter Registration application.
Understanding that Florida Crackers are an important part of his Base, the Golden Czar was incensed when informed about the Roach attack on Florida Crackers. He tweeted:
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – May 30 @ 4:56AM
Before election day, Crooked Hillary hired SPIES, SPIES, to infiltrate Florida with MILLIONS of German Euro Roaches, Euro Roaches! These Roaches were trained to attack my voters to help Crooked Hillary Win. DIDN”T WORK!!!! I won in a landslide, largest Presidential victory in History, History. We even found Roaches at Mir-a-Lago! SHAME. This is a scandal larger than Watergate. The Justice Department WILL investigate Crooked Hillary and that Illegal Obama for this heinous crime.
Being a Florida Cracker, there is a high probability that Cracker Collins packs Heat. Thankfully, Cracker Collins went to the Emergency Room before trying to eliminate the Roach with his Heat.
– A Bonita Springs man, upset over wife’s vacuuming, is charged for assault and battery after attacking Lee County Deputies
Subscribers to Sarkes Corner know that after Sarkes retired from Boeing, he moved to Bonita Springs, FL. Contrary to popular belief, Bonita Springs is NOT all Gated, Guarded, Golf Course communities populated by Old, Rich, White Folk. Bonita Springs DOES have a Heat Packing, Florida Cracker Community.
One such Bonita Springs Florida Cracker, Ashton Provost, who had just returned from a Rehab stint to solve his drinking problem, was DRUNK and passed out at his home. Obviously, Cracker Ashton must have flunked his Rehab Final Exam.
Cracker Ashton awoke when his Cracker Wife started to vacuum the house. It is a little know fact that NOT ALL Crackers are slobs that live in squalor (trash, empty beer cans, pizza boxes, etc), some Crackers, not many, maintain a clean home.
An argument followed with Cracker Ashton getting violent and throwing household items at his wife. Lee County Sheriffs Deputies were called. The Sheriffs Deputies subdued Cracker Ashton with a Taser after Cracker Ashton pointed a loaded rifle at the Sheriffs Deputies.
A Drunk, Heat Packing Cracker is a formula for disaster.
“Many People Say” Sarkes, are you in harms way living in Bontia Springs with a Cracker Community so close by? Sarkes wants to ensure his loyal subscribers that Sarkes is safe and clear of any Cracker violence. You see, Sarkes lives in one of the Gated, Guarded, Golf Course communities populated by Old, Rich, White Folk. Crackers NOT welcomed, Crackers NOT allowed.
NO shots fired, one Cracker Tased, order is restored in Bonita Springs.
From the Ft. Meyers News-Press:
Bonita Springs man, upset over wife’s vacuuming, charged for alleged assault, battery on deputies
A Bonita Springs man upset that his wife was vacuuming the home while he was trying to sleep was later tasered by Lee County sheriff’s deputies after he pointed a rifle at them.
Ashton C. Provost, 47, was charged with battery, two counts of aggravated assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. He was released on $38,000 bond and will be arraigned May 29.
Deputies were called to a Delaware Street address for a domestic disturbance shortly after 9 p.m. Friday. A woman at the home identified as Provost’s wife told deputies that Provost was drunk, had just returned from rehab and attacked her.
A Lee County sheriff’s report said she told deputies that Provost pulled the vacuum cord out of the wall and told her to stop with the noise.
When the woman told Provost she was calling the sheriff he threw a barstool at her, hitting her and smashing apart on the kitchen table, the report said.
When deputies approached Provost he fled into the home and exited again through the rear with a rifle, pointing the weapon at an officer armed with a taser.
The deputy shot Provost with the taser, forcing the man to drop the rifle, and then arrested him.