Young Cracker in Training

Executive Summary:

– A Cracker Family was pulled over by Tallahassee Police
– A Cracker Toddler walks over to police with hands up

Sarkes thanks Canadian neighbor Dennis Parras for this story that has gone viral. You see, Dennis, a Canadian, lives in the same gated community as Sarkes and is insulated from the Florida Cracker. As such, Sarkes had to provide a personal, detailed, explanation of this story. Canadians do not understand the Cracker.

Sarkes asks you to see the viral video of this Cracker / Police confrontation by putting the following into your Browser: “Florida Toddler gets out of car with hands up”. This is evidence that Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

The story:

A toddler in a pickup truck, the vehicle of choice for the Florida Cracker, that was stopped by police in Tallahassee complied with officers’ demands to exit the vehicle with her hands up, even though she was only two years old, two!

Video of the incident has gone viral. The video shows police officers pointing their guns at the truck and yelling at its occupants “Put your hands in the air” and “Get out of the truck.”

Lowly and Beholy, the toddler then follows the police officer’s instructions, walking over to police officers with her arms in the air. An officer meets the girl and picks her up.

The Infant Crackerette followed Policeman’s orders
More Infant Crackertte, what a good little girl, cute

Police Chief Michael DeLeo said officers had been responding to a report of a shoplifting incident in which a gun was seen. Tallahassee officers pulled over the suspect’s truck.

Among those inside the truck were 2 Crackers, a Crackerette, and two infant Crackers a 2-year-old girl and 1-year-old boy.

Unexpectedly, the two-year-old infant Crackerette climbed out of the truck and imitated her parents by walking to the officers with her hands raised.
The bodycam footage shows a police officer talking sweetly to the girl as she walked away from the pickup truck.

“Sweetie, you put your hands down. You’re fine. You’re fine. C’mon to Mommy,” the officer said. A pellet gun was found in the back seat of the vehicle where the toddler was sitting. It’s unknown at this time if the toddler Cracker owned the pellet gun.

Crackers Chad Bom and James McMullen were arrested on shoplifting charges.

Sarkes Analysis:

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, what a sad story. These Florida Cracker Criminals put their infant children in harms way by committing a crime and then exposing their infant children to armed police.

Sarkes warns, don’t jump to conclusions. Sarkes connects Dots were most cannot even see the Dots. Such is the case here.

Sarkes connects Dots when most cannot see the Dots

Dot 1: Crackers all Pack Heat, so even though the gun used in this crime was a Pellet Gun, store employees, and Police, had to assume that the Perp Crackers had real heat.

Dot 2: Florida Crackers are usually on the lower end of the Socio, Economic, and Intelligence Food Chains and are benchmarks for the expression “Crime does not pay” and are often caught red handed.

Dot 3: Yes, while Crackers Pack Heat and Drink heavily, they are not necessarily bad parents. Crackers, like normal people, love their children.

Sarkes Connects these Dots: You see, while on the surface, it looks like these Crackers were bad parents, putting their infant children in harms way, they are actually Benchmark Parents for other Florida Crackers and Crackerettes with infant Children.

You see, these Cracker Parents obviously had trained their infant daughter to get out of the car with “Hands Up” when facing heavily armed police. You see, its not an IF, but a WHEN…….some day, this infant Crackerette grow up and will run afoul with the law. WHEN that happens, she will be well prepared to put her “Hands Up”.

A Florida Cracker, Hands Up
A Florida Crackerette, Hands Up

No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Fisticuffs at McDonalds

Executive Summary:

– A new plastic straw law in Florida had unexpected consequences when a Florida Cracker lashed out at a worker at a McDonalds in St. Petersburg

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributors friend Chuckie Kofron and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about another fisticuffs involving a Florida Cracker.

A Florida Cracker, Daniel Taylor, had just received his order at a McDonald’s in St. Petersburg. Cracker Taylor became upset when there weren’t any plastic straws out at the condiment station. He walked back to the counter and got in a heated argument with a McDonald Associate,Yasmine James, about the straws. Cracker Taylor then reached over the counter and grabbed the Associate James.

Cracker Daniel Taylor got all worked up over a straw

A city ordinance went into effect on January 1 that requires customers to ask for straws. It’s a way for businesses to adjust before a ban on single-use plastic straws takes effect in January 2020. Since reading is not a strong suit of the Florida Cracker, Cracker Taylor was probably unaware of the ordinance.

Cracker Taylor, demanding that Straws be placed in the condiment station, started yelling that the employees weren’t doing their jobs. Associate James tried to tell Cracker Taylor that they are not allowed to have straws in the lobby but he could get one upon request. Cracker Taylor, a Philadelphia Lawyer, told the Associate James that there was no such law.

McDonalds Restaurant, the scene of the crime

Cracker Taylor continued his heated exchange with the Associate James exchanging words laced with profanity. Cracker Taylor then reached across the counter and grabbed Associate James and hit her.

Cracker Taylor grabbed Associate James by her shirt and pulled her close to his face. In response, Associate James started whaling on the man, punch after punch. Like a fight at a Hockey game, Cracker Taylor and Associate James gripped onto each other and would not let go. Fists flew and so did expletives.

Hockey fights are all show, no blows

Like a referee at a Hockey Game, it took other McDonalds Employees almost 30 seconds to separate Cracker Taylor and Associate James as they continue to wail on each other. After being pulled from Cracker Taylor’s grip, Associate James yelled and cursed as she was led away by a colleague.

Cracker Taylor, obviously believing he was innocent, shouted, “I want her a** fired right now.”

Associate James responded: ”No, you’re going to go to jail. You put your hands on me first,” she yelled, clapping her hands together.

Cracker Taylor hurled more profanities at her, saying he was just trying to ask a question. Another McDonald’s employee asked him to leave.
Before leaving the restaurant Cracker Taylor kicked another employee, Tatiana Bell, in the stomach as she stood near the exit. Ouch

Associate James was not injured, according to the affidavit. Associate Bell, the employee who was kicked in the stomach, complained of pain afterward.

Soon after the incident, Cracker Taylor called the police from a couple miles down the road to complain that he’d been hit repeatedly in the head. Now that takes balls. When the officers arrived, they recognized Cracker Taylor from the video at McDonald’s and took him into custody. Cracker Taylor
was arrested on two charges of simple battery.

A statement issued by Ronald McDonald stated: “Our highest priority is always the safety and well-being of our employees and customers at our restaurants. We have been in contact with the police department and are fully cooperating with their investigation.”

Ronald McDonald is concerned about the safety and well being of employees and customers

The Golden Arches, the number 1 customer of McDonalds, tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 7 @ 3:15AM

I support McDonalds 1000 percent on this one. While Daniel Taylor is part of my base, his behavior was unacceptable and was a disruption to other customers waiting for their Great Big Mac or Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Lock Him Up, Lock Him Up, Lock Him Up.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 7 @4:24AM

Did you see the video where McDonalds employee Tatiana Bell beat the crap out of Daniel Taylor. Not bad for a small Black girl. I am a Counterpuncher and Tatiana Bell did a great job Counterpunching. Blacks Love Me!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 7@ 5:13AM
Even though I love my Big Macs and Quarter Pounders with Cheese and of course McDonalds Fries, I am still the healthiest President in History, of all time. No one has the right to interfere with my right to get a great sandwich from McDonalds. Sometimes I order a DOUBLE Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Tasty

The Golden Arches loves his Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Shots Fired, Cracker Down, Sea Turtles Safe

Executive Summary:

– A 72 year old Environmentalist was shot in the hip at a Lauderdale-by-the-Sea Beach while defending a sea turtle’s nest.

-Alas, the Environmentalist was shot with his own gun!

Sarkes is taking a brief respite from the rash of stories of “XXX while Black in America” series. While the evidence is clear, that Blacks are being targeted by Whites for doing everyday tasks, Blacks are not alone as victims of the far Right, in this story, Environmentalists and Sea Turtles are targeted.

Sea Turtles are beautiful creatures and are an endangered species

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor Dr. Kristen Leadbetter, Sarkeses niece, for this story out of South Florida. It seems that Dr. Leadbetter, between patients, is always on the look out for a Sarkes Corner worthy article.

This story is a clashing of several diverse worlds: Inebriated Crackers, Environmentalists, Packing Heat, and Sea Turtles. When these worlds collide, there can only be tragedy.

Some of you may know that dedicated volunteers work the beaches of Florida to save the Sea Turtles who are an endangered species. These volunteers are trained to find Sea Turtle nests. Once found, the nests are roped off so as not to be disturbed by the beach-going public. For those of you city slickers, the process used to rope off the Sea Turtle nests looks like Crime Scene Tape at the scene of a city murder.

A Sea Turtle Nest roped off like a Big City murder scene

Every day the Sea Turtle Environmentalist volunteers check the nests and, when the time is right, help the baby Sea Turtles traverse the beach and into the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic Ocean.

We all know that Right Wing Conservatives have taken one painful loss after another the past year or so:
– The Supreme Court has upheld Obama Care and Same Sex Marriage
– the Confederate Battle Flag has been removed form flag poles and stores everywhere, statues of Confederate Heroes taken down
– continued attacks on Roe v Wade are being defeated in the courts
– the 19 Children Duggar television show has been taken off the air

With all of these Right Wing Conservative setbacks weighing on him, an inebriated Florida Cracker, Michel McAullife, found another minority to attack; the Environmental Volunteers who save the Sea Turtles. Cracker McAullife came across 2 Sea Turtle volunteers and verbally accosted them shouting: “I hate sea turtle people. You’re all f—ing crazy,”

Cracker Michel McAullife hates Sea Turtles and Sea Turtle Volunteer Environmentalists

Since this is Florida, the Gunshine State, the Inebriated Cracker should not have been surprised when the Sea Turtle Environmentalist, Stan Pannaman, was Packing Heat and pulled out his Heat. A struggle ensued and Cracker McAullife took control of the gun and shot the Sea Turtle Environmentalist.

Sea Turtle Environmentalist, Stan Pannaman, packs Heat, but is not too quick

Wow, this is a Stand Your Ground Case for the ages. Who is at fault, the Sea Turtle Environmentalist who pulled out his Heat or the Cracker who took the Heat away and shot the Sea Turtle Environmentalist? Actually, this was not a fair fight. A Young Cracker like Mcaullfe, even when inherited, can whip an Old Environmentalist any day, not a fair fight.

The Orange Environmentalist weighed in on this in another classic set of Tweeters:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 3 @ 3:56AM
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive. Sea Turtles ARE NOT Endangered. I have run over several Sea Turtles on my Championship Golf Course in Mir-a-Lago. They are everywhere!!!!!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 3 @ 4:17AM
Just out – the POLAR ICE CAPS are at an all time high, the POLAR BEAR population has never been stronger. Sea Turtles are multiplying like Rabbits. Where the hell is global warming? FAKE NEWS!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 3 @ 4:49AM
Sea Turtle Environmentalist are on a Which Hunt. Almost all of them are Democrats and Dumb as a Rock. What would you expect from them.

The Orange Environmentalist and his Boy Toy Vlads Putin on the Beach in Crimea.

Sakes ponders who will be the next minority target of the Right Wing Conservatives after their recent defeats against; The Poor, Hispanics, Women, The LGBT community, and Sea Turtle Environmentalists……….Whose next?

Shots Fired, Sea Turtle Environmentalist Down, Sea Turtles Safe in their Nests

Chihuahua Crime

Executive Summary:

– A Florida Crackerette was arrested after swinging a bag filled with Chihuahuas at bar.

– This tragic story hits close to home for Sarkes

Thanks to Sarkeses sister and Chihuahua lover, Cindy Mamelian for this tragic story of Crackerette Crime from the Gunshine State.

Chihuahua lover Sister Cindy and Pooch Sophie

Florida Crackerttes are, in general, mild mannered, happy people. The Florida Cracker, a strong part of the Orange Traffic Cones Base, are a simple people. The Florida Cracker typically spend their money on Guns and Liquor. Very few Florida Crackers are invested in the Stock Market.

But when a Florida Cracker gets all Liquored up, the results are usually tragic. Such is this case with Crackerette Teresa Gardner. Crackerette Gardner was arrested at the Briny Irish Pub after she wildly tossed around a backpack fill with four Chihuahua puppies and their mother. Thankfully Crackerette Gardner was not packing Heat.

Crackerette Teresa Gardner had a bag of Chihuahuas
The Briny Irish Pub, scene of the attack on 5 innocent Chihuahuas

Police were called to the scene. After Crackerette Gardner stopped swinging the Backpack out of exhaustion, deputies discovered a mother Chihuahua and her 4 puppies trembling inside the backpack.  Animal Control officials determined that the baby Chihuahuas were about four weeks old.

As deputies tried to arrest Gardner, she resisted, but was eventually arrested
and charged with animal cruelty and resisting arrest.

The innocent victims of this Crackerette Crime were taken to an animal shelter and are thankfully in good health.

Like sister Cindy, Sarkes loves Chihuahuas. Young Sarkes had a Chihuahua, Moog, while growing up. Moog was a great pooch but was often charged with nipping the ankles of any stranger who entered the Korkoian home. Moog was never convicted of these baseless charges. Like the Orange Ameba, Moog was innocent of all charges and a victim of a Witch Hunt.

Young Sarkes with Chihuahua Moog, a great pooch

While attending Normandy High School, a Young Sarkes worked at Wishbone Fried Chicken in the Baden neighborhood of North St. Louis, and would bring home Fried Chicken, Livers, and Gizzards to Moog who would be anxiously waiting at the door, small tail wagging. Ah, these were simpler times for Young Sarkes.

Wishbone Fried Chicken in the Baden Neighborhood of North St. Louis

So Sarkes understands the Florida Cracker. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker Drinks. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker Packs Heat. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker often Packs Heat while Drinking. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker often shoot each other while Drinking and Packing Heat.

What Sarkes does not understand is how a Florida Cracker can Drink and put innocent Chihuahuas in harms way. To quote the Orange Humane Society, the crime against innocent Chihuahuas by this Florida Cracker were: Beleaguered, Low Energy, Totally Illegal, Mean, Carnage, Witch Hunt, Low IQ, Evil, Cowardly, Phony Crooked, Deplorable, Dumb as a Rock, Failed, Seriously Flawed, Fire and Fury, Thugs, Flake, Deranged, Low Life, Gutless, Covfefe.

Today, Sarkes would love to have another Chihuahua like the Moog from his youth. Alas, since Animals are not permitted in the Sarkes Corner News Room, Sarkes must settle for Pho Chihuahuas.

Florida Cracker Boinks a Pony

Sarkes Corner is back in circulation and what a story with which to return!

Executive Summary:

– A Florida Cracker was arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions
What, huh, are you kidding me, uh, say what, duh

Sarkes thanks Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story of a Florida Cracker Boinking a Pony.

A Florida Cracker has been arrested for having sex with a miniature horse on multiple occasions. Florida Cracker, 21-year-old Nicholas Anthony Sardo, of Citra, has been arrested and charged with four counts of bestiality/sexual contact with an animal.

Florida Cracker, Horse Boinker, Nicholas Anthony Sardo heading to the Hoosegow

Marion County Deputies say that on October 16, a witness came forward and reported that she had witnessed Sardo having sex with a miniature pony named Jackie G in a pasture on a family member’s property three days earlier.

Miniature Pony Jackie G recovering in his corral

Another witness came forward saying she saw it as well, and she approached Sardo about what she had seen, according to the sheriff’s office. Sardo immediately admitted to her that he had sex with the horse and also gave the same admission to a detective investigating the allegation.

Sardo added that he had sex with the horse four times during the course of a week, according to the detective. The sheriff’s office stated in a press release that, “he used a condom each time because he didn’t want to get a disease from the horse.”

Sardo is currently being held in the Marion County Jail.

Oh where to start:

Sarkes understands that living in a gated community in Bonita Springs, FL has many perks like year round Sunshine, Beaches, Golf, Pickleball, Bocce. Sarkes believes that living South Florida will add 10 years to one’s life.
Of course, there is a downside to living in the Gunshine state, specifically, co-existing with the Florida Cracker. The Florida Cracker is especially dangerous when Packing Heat (which they all do), or is drinking (which they all do) or Boinking animals (which some do).

Cracker Sardo may have a defense, Marion County Florida is horse country. Sardo can claim that he was overwhelmed by always being exposed to horses

What, huh, are you kidding me, uh, say what, duh

On his way to Mir-a-Lago for a well deserved and earned Thanksgiving holiday, the Orange Equestrian was asked about his Florida neighbor, Nicholas Anthony Sardo, Boinking a miniature pony. The Golden Horseman said: “You know, it could very well be Sardo, maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. It could have been a 400 pound guy on his couch, we may never know all the facts surrounding the vicious attack on Jackie G. In any case, Horse Face Sardo is a sick-o”.

The Orange Equestrian and his Boy Toy Vlads Putin

Hitler for Halloween

Executive Summary:

– A Kentucky Father Dressed his son as Adolph Hitler for Halloween

– This Blue Grass Einstein was Shocked at the Backlash he Received

Sarkes has been working on a book: “The Irreversible Dumbing of America” Sarkes has no shortage of material to support his theory that Americans have a Constitutional Right to be dumb, and are exercising that Right daily.

Such is the case with Kentuckian Bryan Goldbach. This Blue Grass Einstein sparked outrage after a picture emerged online of his five-year-old son dressed like Adolph Hilter and he was dressed as a Gestapo for Halloween.

To support Sarkeses theory of the Irreversible Dumbing of America, a proud Bryan Goldbach thought it was appropriate for him to post the picture on social media. After the posting, Goldbrick started receiving heavy criticism, with many saying his choice of costumes for his family was in poor taste.

Aryan Bryan Goldbach and his family dressed as Nazi’s for Halloween

But Goldbach that he had a sound reason for dressing his son up as Adolph Hitler. He said he chose the uniforms because of his love for portraying historical figures. Sarkes can think of servers HUNDRED historical figures that Goldbach could have selected instead of Adolph Hitler.

Mein Fuhrer Adolph Hitler, a “Historical Figure”

After the fact, Goldbach started Goose Stepping back saying: “I wasn’t trying to make a statement or put my son in any position. It was bad judgment. I want people to know I am sorry.” It is unknown if Aryan Goldbach and family Goose Stepped from house to house to collect candy.

Goose-stepping Nazis

Goldbach could have left it at that but could not resist putting his Goose Stepping Foot in his mouth. He went on to say: “We saw people dressed as murderers, devils, serial killers, blood and gore of all sorts. Nobody batted an eye. But my little boy and I, dress as historical figures, and it merits people not only making snide remarks, but approaching us and threatening my little 5-year-old boy.” Sarkes Comment: “Huh, uh, oh my, are you kidding me, sheesh”

Now on a roll, this Aryan Goose Stepped on, taking a page out of the Orange Gestapos Play Book and blamed Liberals, saying: “Yes liberalism is alive and well. And we had the displeasure of dealing with the fruits of the so called Tolerant Left.”

A reporter, probably from the Fake News Liberal Media, investigated Goldbach’s Facebook Page which included slogans in support of “White Pride”. Hmmmmmmm

Sarkes Memo to Aryan Bryan Goldbach: if your Halloween costume calls to mind an event (the Holocaust) where millions of innocent Men, Women and Children were Murdered, choose another costume, and don’t raise your son to be a bigot like you.

Sarkes quotes our Orange Commander in Tweets who said after the Charlottesville Nazi Rally: “To be fair, you had some very fine people on both sides”

To be fair, Sarkes says: “Oui Vey, you Schmiel Munzer”

It will be difficult for Sarkeses to select the top examples for his book “The Irreversible Dumbing of America”, but dressing your son as Adolph Hitler and joining him as a Gestapo for Halloween is sure to make the cut.

Black Man Living in a White Condo Complex

Executive Summary:

– A Missouri Woman was Fired For Blocking a Black Man From Entering his Condo Complex

– Sarkes had warned about the Slippery Slope

In a recent Sarkes Corner, Sarkes had reported on a case of Babysitting While Black. In that incident, a Black Man was baby sitting two White Children. A White Women was concerned for the Safety of the two While Children and called the Police, after all, what was a Black Man doing with White Children. The Police confronted the Black Man and had to call the White Children’s parents to validate that, indeed, the Black Man was hired to babysit the White Children. This was a case of Babysitting While Black.

With White Folk acting with the Empowerment bestowed on all White Folk by the actions of the Orange Oligarch, Sarkes warned that we are on the brink of the dreaded Slippery Slope.

Well, it happened, and in Sarkeses old home state, Missouri, the Shoot Me State. A White Missouri Woman tried to prevent a Black Man from entering his luxury condo complex. The White Women, Hillary Kronke Mueller, an employee of the condo complex, was not aware that Blacks lived in the condo and felt uncomfortable letting the Black Man into his building. After all, how can a Black Man afford to live in a luxury Condo? The Black Man, D’Arreion Toles, repeatedly asked the White Woman to move but she refused.

D’Arreion Toles – A Black Man living in a Luxury Condo)

Hillary Kronke Mueller was fired by her employer, Tribeca Luxury Apartments. Ironically, Tribeca Luxury Apartments is a minority-owned company.

Of course, Hillary Kronke Mueller denied any wrongdoing and claims, like the Orange MLK, that she is NOT A RACIST. In fact, Mueller placed the blame on the Condo Association Board claiming that she was told to NEVER allow access to the building to someone that she did not know. Obviously, she did not know Black Man Toles or realized that Blacks were living in the building.

Hillary Kronke Mueller – says she is NOT A RACIST

There you have it, we are now heading down the Slippery Slope. Who is next?

Sarkes does not know Hillary Kronke Mueller, but wonders if she is related to the Despicable, Unethical, Deplorable owner of the Los Angeles Rams, Stan Kronke. Stan Kronke might be Pond Scum but surely he is not a racist. After all, 70% of his Los Angels Rams, the team he stole from St. Louis, are Black.

Stan Kronke IS NOT A RACIST – is he related to Hillary Kronke Mueller?

A case of Babysitting While Black

Executive Summary:

– Georgia Woman Calls Police On Black Man Babysitting White Kids

A White Woman, a Georgia Crackerette, called the police on Corey Lewis, a Black Man, who was babysitting two White Children after she reported that she feared for their safety.

Black Man and Babysitter Corey Lewis

The Georgia Crackerette approached Black Man Lewis in a Walmart Parking Lot and asked if she could speak with the White Children. Black Man Lewis said no and the Georgia Crackertte called the police. The Georgia Crackerette then followed him to his mother’s house, where a police officer questioned Black Man Lewis and the White Children. 

The White Parents of the 2 White Children, David Parker and Dana Mango, were called. They told police that they had arranged for Lewis to look after their children weeks ago and were in disbelief when they received their call.

White Parent Mango told Police: “Are you saying that because there’s an African American male driving my two White kids that he was stopped and pulled over and questioned?” The Police answered: “I’m sorry ma’am, that’s exactly what I’m saying”

Sarkes connects Dots where most cannot even see Dots. Sarkes fears that this Babysitting While Black incident is just another case of Underemployed, Uneducated, White Folk And Rich Old White Folk acting with the Empowerment bestowed on all White Folk by the actions of the Orange Oligarch.

Sarkes warns that we are on a Slippery Slope. What is next after Baby Sitting While Black is stopped? Women back into the Kitchen where they belong?, LGBTQ’s back in the Closet?, People of Color under the Thumb of the White Man?

The Trump GOP want Women back in the Kitchen where they belong

Whoa Horse Whoa, Sarkes is overreacting, surely this is just an Isolated Incident. Its clear that Blacks, LGBT’s and People of Color love the Golden Goliath and he loves them.

Trump Loves Blacks and LGBTQs and they Love him

More Cracker on Cracker Violence

Executive Summary:

– A bartender in Florida was arrested for throwing a beer mug at a customer’s head

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

Cracker on Cracker Violence takes on many forms. Mostly, Florida Crackers take advantage of the Gunshine State’s friendly gun laws and shoot each other. Often, the Cracker chooses knives and sometimes just good old fisticuffs.

While the Florida Cracker is low on the Socio Economic and Intelligence scales, they can be clever. Such is the case in this Cracker on Cracker Violence at the Last Chance Bar in Daytona Beach, Fl.

The Last Chance Bar is not the typical Beach Bar that you may have frequented when doing Spring Break in Daytona Beach in your misguided youth, the Last Chance Bar is a haven for Florida’s Cracker population.

The Last Chance Bar in Daytona Beach, FL

A bartender working at the Last Chance Bar, Nicole Swindle, 28, was arrested for throwing a beer mug at a customer’s head after he made a remark about how long she was in the bathroom. Cracker Swindle was taken into police custody Thursday night.

Crackerette Nicole Swindle

According to police, a man had been waiting 30 minutes to order a beer while Swindle was in the bathroom. When Swindle finally returned to the bar, the customer made a comment in which he said Swindle wouldn’t have taken so long if she wasn’t a drug addict.

Taking offense to the remark, Cracker Swindle threw a beer mug at the man, hitting him in the head and causing a cut. It is not clear if the beer mug was empty or full of beer. Beer is a valuable commodity for the Florida Cracker so Sarkes hopes the beer mug was empty.

A Beer Mug like those used in The Last Chance Bar

Swindle is now facing charges of aggravated battery and is facing drug charges as well as for possession of pills police found on her person.  

Sarkes is Fair and Balanced and takes no sides on these issues, Sarkes reports, you decide. Sarkes has empathy for both Cracker Swindle and her Cracker Victim and believes that both share blame for this act of Violence.

First, a Cracker should NEVER need to wait 30 minutes for a beer in a Cracker Bar. The Cracker Customer was justified in his frustration for waiting so long for his libation. Having said that, the Cracker Customer should have know better, and that his verbal assault would surely result in a negative reaction from Cracker Swindle.

In regards to Cracker Swindle, we may never know why she took 30 minutes in the Last Chance Bar’s Rest Room. Cracker Swindle may have been suffering from Gastric Disruptions, Sarkes for sure feels her pain there. It’s possible that Cracker Swindle was having a Romantic encounter with another Cracker Customer of the Last Chance Bar, for sure that happens in Cracker Bars. Or, Cracker Swindle may have been taking the Drugs found in her possession.

No shots fired, but one Cracker down.

Drive Thru Window for Heroin Sales

Executive Summary:

– A Florida couple sold drugs from their mobile home

– These Crackers set up a Drive Thru Window from their Kitchen Window

Sarkeses Florida Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

A Florida couple accused of selling drugs out of their mobile home’s kitchen window were arrested last week. These innovative Crackers figured that if a Drive Thru Window works for McDonalds, it would work for them.

Florida Crackers Benchmarked McDonalds Drive Thru Window

Cracker William Parrish Jr. and Crackerette McKenzee Dobbs were arrested when police raided their Ocala, Florida, mobile home and found, heroin, fentanyl and drug paraphernalia.

Einstein Crackers Parrish and Dobbs

According to an Ocala Police Department report of the incident, officers found fentanyl prepackaged in foil as well as plastic bags and a digital scale in the kitchen.

Cracker Parrish and Crackerette Dobbs used the window of their Mobile Home as a makeshift drive-thru for their customers. These innovative Crackers used signs to signal when their mobile home was open for sales and where to drive.

The Mobile Home Heroin Drive Thru Window

Ocala police were watching this particular area after a rash of overdose incidents.

When questioned at the Ocala jail, the lawyer for Crackers Parrish and Dobbs thought he could get a pardon from the Orange Dotard as these Cracker Einsteins are Trumps Base and their votes are needed in the upcoming Florida Senate Election between Demon Dem Dinosaur Bill Nelson and GOP Criminal Rick, Tricky Ricky, Scott, the Trickster.