Low Speed Golf Cart Police Chase

Executive Summary:

  • A St. Louis man was arrested at a Florida Keys resort after a wild Golf Cart Police Chase.

What started as a routine Police chase of a Golf Cart quickly escalated into a dangerous Low Speed Chase.

Dangerous Low Speed Golf Cart Out of Control

Parks Thornton Terry, 32, of St. Louis, was spotted by security officers in a golf cart in the gated Ocean Reef resort neighborhood in Upper Key Largo in Monroe County, Florida.

Ocean Reef Resort in the Florida Keys, the scene of the Crime

“Many People Say, Sarkes, we know what a Florida Cracker is, but are there Crackers in St. Louis, MO, your old home town?”

The short answer is Yes.  There are Florida Cracker-Like people in St. Louis but they are not called Crackers.  Rather, the Florida Cracker-Like person in St. Louis is called a “Hoosier”.  This is not to be confused with the good citizens of Indiana.  

In St. Louis, the word Hoosier has a different, more derogatory meaning. A St. Louis Hoosier is an epithet of for anyone perceived as less cultured, low intelligence, rustic, bumpkin, redneck, hick, uncouth or unskilled person.

St. Louis Hoosier Parks Thornton Terry

Sarkes is pleased to clear that up.  But back on Point.  

When Police arrived, Hoosier Terry led them on a Low Speed Chase through the neighborhood while continuously giving them the thumbs up sign. He soon switched tactics, however, and put up his middle finger while driving erratically and yelling obscenities at the pursuing Federalies.

Like his hero, the Orange Ameba, Hoosier Terry gave Police the Two Thumbs Up

Like his hero, the Orange Dotard, Hoosier Terry gave Police the Middle Finger

Eventually, Terry arrived at a home where he was staying and went inside. A paramedic and a deputy knocked on the door, but a woman, Terry’s mother, Hoosierette/Crackerette Martha Wolfner, refused to let them in.

Police entered the home through a side door and soon a fisticuffs started between Hoosier Terry and the Officer.  Police eventually shocked Terry with a stun gun, and four law enforcement officers were eventually able to get handcuffs on him.

Police said that Hoosier/Cracker Terry continued to kick and began growling like a dog and rubbing his face in the broken glass on the floor.

Once in a patrol car, Police reported the smell of alcohol while Hoosier/Cracker Terry continued to yell curses and scream out to Jesus for help.  Hoosier/Cracker Terry refused a blood-alcohol breath test.

Hoosier/Cracker Terry was charged with DUI, fleeing from police, property damage, resisting arrest with violence and four counts of battery on a law enforcement officer or paramedic.

Like a Florida Cracker, when a St. Louis Hoosier is liquored up, nothing good can happen.  When a St. Louis Hoosier is liquored up AND driving a Golf Cart at Hight Speed, that is a formula for disaster.  At that point, praying to Jesus for help will not work.

Even Jesus Christ cannot help a drunken St. Louis Hoosier

Sarkes sympathizes with Hoosier/Cracker Terry.  His name, “Parks Thornton Terry”, probably made hi the victim of bullying by Bully Hoosiers when he was growing up in St. Louis.  This young Hoosier had a Last Name for a First Name and a First Name for a Last Name.  He could never recover.

St. Louis Hoosier Bullies make the Orange Bully seem like a Pacifist

Crackers Should Watch CSI

Executive Summary:

  • A 1998 slaying went cold for 20 years, until the Cracker Suspect applied for a job
  • The Cracker Perp would be free today if he had just watched CSI

Thanks to Florida Bureau Chief and sister Cindy Mamelian for another story of the Florida Cracker, aka, Florida Man.

This is a tragic story, but a story none the less, about the intelligence of the Florida Cracker, who, “Many People Say” are at the bottom of the human intelligence food chain.  

This Tale started with the murder of Sondra Better 20 years ago in Delary Beach, FL.  The perpetrator seemed to vanish without a trace.

Victim Better was working alone at Lu Shay’s Consignment Shop when a man came into the store and killed her.  Although a witness saw the Perp and the Perp left behind a trail of his own blood and fingerprints, police weren’t able to catch him — until he applied for a job 20 years later.

During the investigation of Better’s murder, fingerprints lifted at the crime scene, were entered into the Automated Fingerprint Identification System (AFIS) database.  Two decades passed without any matches. DNA samples from 36 men also came up empty.

Police finally got a hit when Cracker Todd Barket, 51, of Brandon, Florida, submitted his fingerprints as part an application for a nursing assistant job.

Cracker Barket lived about 8 miles from the consignment shop at the time of the 1998 killing. His fingerprints and blood matched the samples found at the crime scene, and he fit the description that an eyewitness provided, authorities said.

Cracker Barket is not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Cracker Barket was arrested at his home and is being held in Hillsborough County Jail without bond until he’s extradited to Palm Beach County.

Cracker Barket apparently thought that he had avoided the long arm of the law having been on the lam for 20 years.  Apparently, Cracker Barket does not watch CSI, or CSI Miami, or CSI New York.  If he had, he would have never applied for a job where he had to submit Finger Prints or take a Blood Test.  

Cracker Barket would be free today had he watched CSI

Another Dumb Cracker is headed to the Hoosegow.  

Cracker Barket doing the Perp Walk

Florida Man

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes has been reporting on the antics of the Florida Cracker for years.
  • Just recently, the main stream media has discovered the stupid things that the Florida Crackers do every day, and have Labeled the Florida Cracker – FLORIDA MAN!

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about FLORIDA MAN.  Cindy has been infatuated and befuddled with the Florida Cracker, FLORIDA MAN, for years (Note:  FLORIDA MAN could be a woman).  Sarkes has been reporting on the stupid antics of his Florida Cracker neighbors for years, this is nothing new.  The rest of the mainstream media is just now catching up with Sarkes and Sarkes Corner. 

The FLORIDA MAN is a bit of an enigma. A Florida Cracker can be The Salt of the Earth, dependable, peaceful…………until FLORIDA MAN gets all liquored up.  A Florida Cracker drunk is dangerous.  A Florida Cracker drunk and packing Heat is an accident waiting to happen.

It seems that every day there is a story that involves a Florida Cracker shooting something / somebody, or screaming incomprehensible babble, or getting arrested. 

FLORIDA MAN has been busy in 2019.  Below are real Headlines, no FAKE NEWS in Sarkes Corner, many of which have already been reported in Sarkes Corner.  Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Florida Man Shooting at a Target in Backyard Hits Neighbor Sitting at Dining Room Table

Florida Man Doesn’t Get Straw, Attacks McDonald’s Employee

Florida Man Killed Ex-Girlfriend While Trying to ‘Get Rid of the Devil’

Florida Man Intentionally Drove His Car Into Ocean At Top Speed

Florida Man Denies Syringes Found in Rectum Are His (this could be Sarkeses favorite)

Florida Man Arrested After Argument Over Cheesesteak

Florida Man loves any sandwich with Red Meat

Florida Man Accused of Burning Son to Teach Him Lesson About Fire

Florida Man Allegedly Fooled Family Into Believing Murdered Wife Was Still Alive

Florida Man Chews Up Police Car Seat After Cocaine Arrest

Florida Man Threatens to Kill Man With ‘Kindness,’ Uses Machete Named ‘Kindness’

Florida Man Causes Highway Crash, Steals Good Samaritan’s Truck Who Stopped To Help

Florida Man Accused of Luring Kids Tells Cops He Can’t Recall As He ‘Drinks 18-20 Beers’ Before Talking to the Children

Florida Man was run over by a Patrol Car While Lying in Road to Watch the Lunar Eclipse

Florida Man Caught Exposing Himself in Walmart Pillow Aisle

Florida Man Learns Hard Way He Stole Laxatives, Not Opioids (another Sarkes favorite)

Like Cheech and Chong once said:  “Man these drugs are good Shit!”

North Florida Man Beat, Pepper Sprayed Mom Because ‘She Was a Narcissist’

‘Trump will handle it.’ Florida Man Has Warning After Harassing Iraqi Neighbors

Florida Man Driving Unregistered ATV Ran Over his Dog

Florida Man Finds a WWII Grenade, Places It in His Truck, Drives to Taco Bell

Florida Man Accused of Robbing Chinese Restaurant at Finger Point

Florida Man Spent Weeks in Jail for Heroin That Was Actually Detergent

Florida Man Stabbed in the Back at Gainesville Bar Over Remark on a MAGA Hat

Florida Man Attacked Sister, Bit Cop After Someone Touched His Cigar

Florida Man Dances Through DUI Sobriety Test

Florida Man is all too familiar with the Traffic Stop Sobriety Check

Florida Men Accused of Smearing Feces on Crunch Fitness Bathroom, Sauna

Florida Man Tried to Run Over Son Because He Didn’t Want to Take a Bath

Florida Woman’s Maternity Photo Includes Alligator, Shotgun, Bud Light

Florida Man Recorded Himself Having Sex with Dog

Florida Man Throws Burrito in Woman’s Face, Cops Say. And This Has Happened Before

Florida Man Fights To Keep Last $809 After IRS Seizes Bogus $980,000 Tax Refund

Florida Man Caught on Camera Licking Doorbell

Florida Man Claiming People Were “Eating His Brains” Leads Police on Insane Golf Course Chase

Florida Man Arrested with Cocaine-Stuffed Lunchables

The Oscar Meyer Lunchable is the perfect place to store Cocaine

Florida Man Charged After Pointing Laser at Helicopter

Rattlesnake-carrying Florida Man Claims to be ‘Agent of God’

Florida Man Fights Coyote Off With Coffee Cup: ‘I smashed him’

Florida Man Throws Toilet Through School Building Window

Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Throwing Cookie at Girlfriend

Florida Man Arrested After Hitting Dad with Pizza Because He Was Mad

Florida Man Who Allegedly Threatened Family with Coldplay Lyrics Ends Standoff After SWAT Promises Him Pizza

Florida Man loves his Pizza and Beer

Arrested Florida Couple Pleasure Each Other In Back Of Cop Car

Florida Man Sprayed Other Inmates with Urine

Florida Man refused Service in a Sarasota Bar because he was wearing a Red MAGA Hat

Florida Man faked robbery to get out of work at Hardee’s

Wow, and that was only for the first few months of 2019!  Sarkes will need to hire more investigative reporters if FLORIDA MAN keeps this up.

Remember, FLORIDA MAN is innocent until proven guilty by a Jury of his Cracker Peers.

Florida Man welcomes everyone to Florida, The Gunshine State

A Crackerette goes on a Racist Rant

Executive Summary:

  • Uh, what, hum, ummmm, oh my, did she really say that, …..

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. 

A drunk Florida Cracker is an accident waiting to happen.  Such is the case of an inebriated Crackerette in Volusia County (Daytona Beach), FL.  

A Black Sheriffs Deputy, Brandon King, pulled over Crackerette Julie Edwards, on suspicion of a DUI.  Unfortunately for Crackerette Edwards, the entire confrontation was recorded on the Black Deputies’ Body Camera.

Crackerette Edwards is a racist.  Uh, what, hum, ummmm, oh my, did she really say that, …..

Crackerette Edwards was recorded ranting to Black Deputy King:

“My KKK friends will burn your family. You should never be here in the first place. Ever been whipped on a whipping post? Ain’t a damn thing wrong with a burning cross in your yard, is there?”

Uh, what, hum, ummmm, oh my, did she really say that, …..

Sarkes had to read the story again to make sure that this was a recent incident and not a story from the 1960’s.  Note:  Millennium subscribers to Sarkes Corner need to brush up on how African Americans were treated in the 1960’s and the antics of the Klu Klux Klan (KKK).

In the 1960’s, the KKK would burn crosses to intimidate Black people

While processing the arrest, Racist Crackerette Edwards continued her rant to Black Deputy King:

“You are f – – king with the wrong white people, KKK’s got your ass, boy, you n – – – ers should’ve never been let out of slavery.  You f*cked up. Hope you don’t have no kids. You know what’s gonna happen to you now? You don’t want to know. You’re done. You don’t f – ck with little white girls. Your eyes will be poked out, you know.”

Uh, what, hum, ummmm, oh my, did she really say that, …..

Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said: “Watch this video if you need any more proof that there’s no expiration date on ignorance.”

Great summary Sheriff Chitwood.  

Racist Crackerette Edwards was arrested for driving under the influence, resisting an officer without violence, making a threat against a law enforcement officer, and refusing to submit for testing.

Sarkes is on record, in America, we have Rights; free speech, packing heat, …… and the Right to be stupid.

Yeh, for those of you who live in a protective bubble, there are MILLIONS of Julie Edwards out there, and they seem to be coming out from under their Rocks in record number these days, MAGA.

The video of Racist Crackerette Edwards rant:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=souIE2uZm1g 

Cracker Shot for Snoring

Executive Summary:

  • A Florida Crackerette was charged with shooting her Cracker boyfriend with shotgun over his loud snoring
  • Yup, you read that right, the Cracker snored to loudly

Thanks to Sarkes Corner and Sister Cindy Mamelian who specializes on reporting on the Florida Cracker.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  The Florida Cracker is a peaceful being until they start drinking.  A Cracker under the influence is dangerous.  A Cracker under the influence AND Packing Heat is an accident waiting to happen.

A Florida Crackerette, Lorie Morin, 47, shot her live-in boyfriend with a shotgun during an alcohol fueled argument stemming from his loud snoring.  Crackerette Morin,was charged with attempted murder and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. She remains jailed without bond.

Lori Morin is a Heat Packing Crackerette who drinks too much

Deputies arrived at the home and found Crackerette Morin’s boyfriend lying in a pool of blood at the foot of the bed on the master bedroom floor. He had been shot in the right armpit area.  Ouch

Crackerette Morin told deputies she and her Cracker Boyfriend had been drinking rum and playing rummy.  She told deputies that she was handing her boyfriend her loaded 20-gauge shotgun so she could retrieve a heavy box when it accidentally discharged, striking him.  Yeah Right.

A 20-guage shot gun, the weapon of choice for the Florida Crackerett

The Cracker Boyfriend had a different story.  In a sworn recorded statement, the Cracker said the shooting stemmed from a confrontation over his snoring.  Crackerette Morin followed him into the bedroom, arguing about his snoring……..and then she pointed the shotgun at his head.

As the Cracker Boyfriend attempted to leave, he heard a loud boom and woke up lying in a pool of blood with excruciating pain coming from his right armpit area.  Ouch.

Crackerette Morin was arrested and taken to jail. The Cracker remains hospitalized and is stable.

Cracker Mayor Going to the Hoosegow

Executive Summary:

  • A SWAT team went to a Cracker mayor’s house with a warrant 
  • The Cracker mayor opened fire on the SWAT Team

The mayor of Port Richey, Florida, is lucky he’s not dead after firing two shots at a SWAT team at his house to serve a warrant.

Dale Massad, who was elected mayor in 2015, was arrested by officers from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) and accused of practicing medicine without a license. He now also faces two charges of attempted murder.

Dale Massard, Mayor by day, Doctor by night

No one was hurt at Massad’s home after the predawn incident in which the sheriff’s SWAT officers were assisting FDLE.

According to a complaint affidavit, SWAT officers knocked several times on the front doors of the mayor’s home.  Upon entering the Mayor’s home, a SWAT member set off a flash bang grenade inside the doorway.

The SWAT officers then heard two shots and retreated behind an armored vehicle.  The mayor had a gun in his hand, so officers ordered him to drop the weapon.

Sarkes always says, “Don’t F with a SWAT Team”

Sherrif Ralph Nocco said:  “If somebody is firing at us we have every means and every right to fire back at them.  They did what they thought was appropriate at the time. He’s lucky he’s not dead.”

Authorities said Massad, 68, was in jail Thursday. It is unclear whether he has an attorney. Massad relinquished his medical license in 1992 but was still practicing medicine. Patients were coming to his home, the agency said in a news release.

Mayor / Doctor Massard is in the Hoosegow

“He had performed medical procedures at his residence, with one procedure requiring additional hospital treatment for the patient,” the statement said.

Sheriff Nocco described Massad as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  “This suspect is a known drug user. This suspect had multiple weapons in his house.  This suspect has a previous history of violence. That’s who we were dealing with today,” said Nocco. “I used to be up in DC area. They had Marion Barry up there. I mean this is Port Richey’s version. I mean he is an individual that you wouldn’t believe would be in office.”

Dale Massard is a Marion Barry Wannabe 

Young Cracker in Training

Executive Summary:

– A Cracker Family was pulled over by Tallahassee Police
– A Cracker Toddler walks over to police with hands up

Sarkes thanks Canadian neighbor Dennis Parras for this story that has gone viral. You see, Dennis, a Canadian, lives in the same gated community as Sarkes and is insulated from the Florida Cracker. As such, Sarkes had to provide a personal, detailed, explanation of this story. Canadians do not understand the Cracker.

Sarkes asks you to see the viral video of this Cracker / Police confrontation by putting the following into your Browser: “Florida Toddler gets out of car with hands up”. This is evidence that Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

The story:

A toddler in a pickup truck, the vehicle of choice for the Florida Cracker, that was stopped by police in Tallahassee complied with officers’ demands to exit the vehicle with her hands up, even though she was only two years old, two!

Video of the incident has gone viral. The video shows police officers pointing their guns at the truck and yelling at its occupants “Put your hands in the air” and “Get out of the truck.”

Lowly and Beholy, the toddler then follows the police officer’s instructions, walking over to police officers with her arms in the air. An officer meets the girl and picks her up.

The Infant Crackerette followed Policeman’s orders

More Infant Crackertte, what a good little girl, cute

Police Chief Michael DeLeo said officers had been responding to a report of a shoplifting incident in which a gun was seen. Tallahassee officers pulled over the suspect’s truck.

Among those inside the truck were 2 Crackers, a Crackerette, and two infant Crackers a 2-year-old girl and 1-year-old boy.

Unexpectedly, the two-year-old infant Crackerette climbed out of the truck and imitated her parents by walking to the officers with her hands raised.
The bodycam footage shows a police officer talking sweetly to the girl as she walked away from the pickup truck.

“Sweetie, you put your hands down. You’re fine. You’re fine. C’mon to Mommy,” the officer said. A pellet gun was found in the back seat of the vehicle where the toddler was sitting. It’s unknown at this time if the toddler Cracker owned the pellet gun.

Crackers Chad Bom and James McMullen were arrested on shoplifting charges.

Sarkes Analysis:

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, what a sad story. These Florida Cracker Criminals put their infant children in harms way by committing a crime and then exposing their infant children to armed police.

Sarkes warns, don’t jump to conclusions. Sarkes connects Dots were most cannot even see the Dots. Such is the case here.

Sarkes connects Dots when most cannot see the Dots

Dot 1: Crackers all Pack Heat, so even though the gun used in this crime was a Pellet Gun, store employees, and Police, had to assume that the Perp Crackers had real heat.

Dot 2: Florida Crackers are usually on the lower end of the Socio, Economic, and Intelligence Food Chains and are benchmarks for the expression “Crime does not pay” and are often caught red handed.

Dot 3: Yes, while Crackers Pack Heat and Drink heavily, they are not necessarily bad parents. Crackers, like normal people, love their children.

Sarkes Connects these Dots: You see, while on the surface, it looks like these Crackers were bad parents, putting their infant children in harms way, they are actually Benchmark Parents for other Florida Crackers and Crackerettes with infant Children.

You see, these Cracker Parents obviously had trained their infant daughter to get out of the car with “Hands Up” when facing heavily armed police. You see, its not an IF, but a WHEN…….some day, this infant Crackerette grow up and will run afoul with the law. WHEN that happens, she will be well prepared to put her “Hands Up”.

A Florida Cracker, Hands Up

A Florida Crackerette, Hands Up

No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Fisticuffs at McDonalds

Executive Summary:

– A new plastic straw law in Florida had unexpected consequences when a Florida Cracker lashed out at a worker at a McDonalds in St. Petersburg

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributors friend Chuckie Kofron and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about another fisticuffs involving a Florida Cracker.

A Florida Cracker, Daniel Taylor, had just received his order at a McDonald’s in St. Petersburg. Cracker Taylor became upset when there weren’t any plastic straws out at the condiment station. He walked back to the counter and got in a heated argument with a McDonald Associate,Yasmine James, about the straws. Cracker Taylor then reached over the counter and grabbed the Associate James.

Cracker Daniel Taylor got all worked up over a straw

A city ordinance went into effect on January 1 that requires customers to ask for straws. It’s a way for businesses to adjust before a ban on single-use plastic straws takes effect in January 2020. Since reading is not a strong suit of the Florida Cracker, Cracker Taylor was probably unaware of the ordinance.

Cracker Taylor, demanding that Straws be placed in the condiment station, started yelling that the employees weren’t doing their jobs. Associate James tried to tell Cracker Taylor that they are not allowed to have straws in the lobby but he could get one upon request. Cracker Taylor, a Philadelphia Lawyer, told the Associate James that there was no such law.

McDonalds Restaurant, the scene of the crime

Cracker Taylor continued his heated exchange with the Associate James exchanging words laced with profanity. Cracker Taylor then reached across the counter and grabbed Associate James and hit her.

Cracker Taylor grabbed Associate James by her shirt and pulled her close to his face. In response, Associate James started whaling on the man, punch after punch. Like a fight at a Hockey game, Cracker Taylor and Associate James gripped onto each other and would not let go. Fists flew and so did expletives.

Hockey fights are all show, no blows

Like a referee at a Hockey Game, it took other McDonalds Employees almost 30 seconds to separate Cracker Taylor and Associate James as they continue to wail on each other. After being pulled from Cracker Taylor’s grip, Associate James yelled and cursed as she was led away by a colleague.

Cracker Taylor, obviously believing he was innocent, shouted, “I want her a** fired right now.”

Associate James responded: ”No, you’re going to go to jail. You put your hands on me first,” she yelled, clapping her hands together.

Cracker Taylor hurled more profanities at her, saying he was just trying to ask a question. Another McDonald’s employee asked him to leave.
Before leaving the restaurant Cracker Taylor kicked another employee, Tatiana Bell, in the stomach as she stood near the exit. Ouch

Associate James was not injured, according to the affidavit. Associate Bell, the employee who was kicked in the stomach, complained of pain afterward.

Soon after the incident, Cracker Taylor called the police from a couple miles down the road to complain that he’d been hit repeatedly in the head. Now that takes balls. When the officers arrived, they recognized Cracker Taylor from the video at McDonald’s and took him into custody. Cracker Taylor
was arrested on two charges of simple battery.

A statement issued by Ronald McDonald stated: “Our highest priority is always the safety and well-being of our employees and customers at our restaurants. We have been in contact with the police department and are fully cooperating with their investigation.”

Ronald McDonald is concerned about the safety and well being of employees and customers

The Golden Arches, the number 1 customer of McDonalds, tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 7 @ 3:15AM

I support McDonalds 1000 percent on this one. While Daniel Taylor is part of my base, his behavior was unacceptable and was a disruption to other customers waiting for their Great Big Mac or Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Lock Him Up, Lock Him Up, Lock Him Up.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 7 @4:24AM

Did you see the video where McDonalds employee Tatiana Bell beat the crap out of Daniel Taylor. Not bad for a small Black girl. I am a Counterpuncher and Tatiana Bell did a great job Counterpunching. Blacks Love Me!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 7@ 5:13AM
Even though I love my Big Macs and Quarter Pounders with Cheese and of course McDonalds Fries, I am still the healthiest President in History, of all time. No one has the right to interfere with my right to get a great sandwich from McDonalds. Sometimes I order a DOUBLE Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Tasty

The Golden Arches loves his Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Shots Fired, Cracker Down, Sea Turtles Safe

Executive Summary:

– A 72 year old Environmentalist was shot in the hip at a Lauderdale-by-the-Sea Beach while defending a sea turtle’s nest.

-Alas, the Environmentalist was shot with his own gun!

Sarkes is taking a brief respite from the rash of stories of “XXX while Black in America” series. While the evidence is clear, that Blacks are being targeted by Whites for doing everyday tasks, Blacks are not alone as victims of the far Right, in this story, Environmentalists and Sea Turtles are targeted.

Sea Turtles are beautiful creatures and are an endangered species

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor Dr. Kristen Leadbetter, Sarkeses niece, for this story out of South Florida. It seems that Dr. Leadbetter, between patients, is always on the look out for a Sarkes Corner worthy article.

This story is a clashing of several diverse worlds: Inebriated Crackers, Environmentalists, Packing Heat, and Sea Turtles. When these worlds collide, there can only be tragedy.

Some of you may know that dedicated volunteers work the beaches of Florida to save the Sea Turtles who are an endangered species. These volunteers are trained to find Sea Turtle nests. Once found, the nests are roped off so as not to be disturbed by the beach-going public. For those of you city slickers, the process used to rope off the Sea Turtle nests looks like Crime Scene Tape at the scene of a city murder.

A Sea Turtle Nest roped off like a Big City murder scene

Every day the Sea Turtle Environmentalist volunteers check the nests and, when the time is right, help the baby Sea Turtles traverse the beach and into the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic Ocean.

We all know that Right Wing Conservatives have taken one painful loss after another the past year or so:
– The Supreme Court has upheld Obama Care and Same Sex Marriage
– the Confederate Battle Flag has been removed form flag poles and stores everywhere, statues of Confederate Heroes taken down
– continued attacks on Roe v Wade are being defeated in the courts
– the 19 Children Duggar television show has been taken off the air

With all of these Right Wing Conservative setbacks weighing on him, an inebriated Florida Cracker, Michel McAullife, found another minority to attack; the Environmental Volunteers who save the Sea Turtles. Cracker McAullife came across 2 Sea Turtle volunteers and verbally accosted them shouting: “I hate sea turtle people. You’re all f—ing crazy,”

Cracker Michel McAullife hates Sea Turtles and Sea Turtle Volunteer Environmentalists

Since this is Florida, the Gunshine State, the Inebriated Cracker should not have been surprised when the Sea Turtle Environmentalist, Stan Pannaman, was Packing Heat and pulled out his Heat. A struggle ensued and Cracker McAullife took control of the gun and shot the Sea Turtle Environmentalist.

Sea Turtle Environmentalist, Stan Pannaman, packs Heat, but is not too quick

Wow, this is a Stand Your Ground Case for the ages. Who is at fault, the Sea Turtle Environmentalist who pulled out his Heat or the Cracker who took the Heat away and shot the Sea Turtle Environmentalist? Actually, this was not a fair fight. A Young Cracker like Mcaullfe, even when inherited, can whip an Old Environmentalist any day, not a fair fight.

The Orange Environmentalist weighed in on this in another classic set of Tweeters:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 3 @ 3:56AM
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive. Sea Turtles ARE NOT Endangered. I have run over several Sea Turtles on my Championship Golf Course in Mir-a-Lago. They are everywhere!!!!!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 3 @ 4:17AM
Just out – the POLAR ICE CAPS are at an all time high, the POLAR BEAR population has never been stronger. Sea Turtles are multiplying like Rabbits. Where the hell is global warming? FAKE NEWS!!!!

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 3 @ 4:49AM
Sea Turtle Environmentalist are on a Which Hunt. Almost all of them are Democrats and Dumb as a Rock. What would you expect from them.

The Orange Environmentalist and his Boy Toy Vlads Putin on the Beach in Crimea.

Sakes ponders who will be the next minority target of the Right Wing Conservatives after their recent defeats against; The Poor, Hispanics, Women, The LGBT community, and Sea Turtle Environmentalists……….Whose next?

Shots Fired, Sea Turtle Environmentalist Down, Sea Turtles Safe in their Nests

Chihuahua Crime

Executive Summary:

– A Florida Crackerette was arrested after swinging a bag filled with Chihuahuas at bar.

– This tragic story hits close to home for Sarkes

Thanks to Sarkeses sister and Chihuahua lover, Cindy Mamelian for this tragic story of Crackerette Crime from the Gunshine State.

Chihuahua lover Sister Cindy and Pooch Sophie

Florida Crackerttes are, in general, mild mannered, happy people. The Florida Cracker, a strong part of the Orange Traffic Cones Base, are a simple people. The Florida Cracker typically spend their money on Guns and Liquor. Very few Florida Crackers are invested in the Stock Market.

But when a Florida Cracker gets all Liquored up, the results are usually tragic. Such is this case with Crackerette Teresa Gardner. Crackerette Gardner was arrested at the Briny Irish Pub after she wildly tossed around a backpack fill with four Chihuahua puppies and their mother. Thankfully Crackerette Gardner was not packing Heat.

Crackerette Teresa Gardner had a bag of Chihuahuas

The Briny Irish Pub, scene of the attack on 5 innocent Chihuahuas

Police were called to the scene. After Crackerette Gardner stopped swinging the Backpack out of exhaustion, deputies discovered a mother Chihuahua and her 4 puppies trembling inside the backpack.  Animal Control officials determined that the baby Chihuahuas were about four weeks old.

As deputies tried to arrest Gardner, she resisted, but was eventually arrested
and charged with animal cruelty and resisting arrest.

The innocent victims of this Crackerette Crime were taken to an animal shelter and are thankfully in good health.

Like sister Cindy, Sarkes loves Chihuahuas. Young Sarkes had a Chihuahua, Moog, while growing up. Moog was a great pooch but was often charged with nipping the ankles of any stranger who entered the Korkoian home. Moog was never convicted of these baseless charges. Like the Orange Ameba, Moog was innocent of all charges and a victim of a Witch Hunt.

Young Sarkes with Chihuahua Moog, a great pooch

While attending Normandy High School, a Young Sarkes worked at Wishbone Fried Chicken in the Baden neighborhood of North St. Louis, and would bring home Fried Chicken, Livers, and Gizzards to Moog who would be anxiously waiting at the door, small tail wagging. Ah, these were simpler times for Young Sarkes.

Wishbone Fried Chicken in the Baden Neighborhood of North St. Louis

So Sarkes understands the Florida Cracker. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker Drinks. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker Packs Heat. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker often Packs Heat while Drinking. Sarkes understands that the Florida Cracker often shoot each other while Drinking and Packing Heat.

What Sarkes does not understand is how a Florida Cracker can Drink and put innocent Chihuahuas in harms way. To quote the Orange Humane Society, the crime against innocent Chihuahuas by this Florida Cracker were: Beleaguered, Low Energy, Totally Illegal, Mean, Carnage, Witch Hunt, Low IQ, Evil, Cowardly, Phony Crooked, Deplorable, Dumb as a Rock, Failed, Seriously Flawed, Fire and Fury, Thugs, Flake, Deranged, Low Life, Gutless, Covfefe.

Today, Sarkes would love to have another Chihuahua like the Moog from his youth. Alas, since Animals are not permitted in the Sarkes Corner News Room, Sarkes must settle for Pho Chihuahuas.