Another Mass Murder, by an angry White Man, has happened. In this case, the Mass Murder was in (Fill in the Location)EL Paso, TX.
The Mass Murder happened at the (Fill in the venue, example: school, mall, church, concert) an El Paso, TX Walmart.
(Fill in the number of innocent people killed) 20 people were murdered and 26 were injured.
The Mass Murderer, an angry White Man (Fill in the Murders Name and other details)Patrick Crusius, 21 years old. This is a Hate Crime as this angry young White Supremacist was targeting Hispanic Immigrants.
Sarkes Editorial: Sarkes would have rather had White Supremacist Crusius shout “Send Them Home, Send Them Home, Send Them Home!” at the Immigrants than shoot them.
The Mass Murderer used (Identify the weapon used)a Semi Automatic Assault Rifle.
The Angry White Man Mass Murderer (Select one: killed himself, was killed by Police, was Captured by Police)Captured by Police
Shortly after the Mass Murder:
Democrats say: “This is the time for strict gun laws”
Republicans say: “We are mourning the victims, it’s too soon to discuss gun legislation”
A spokesman for the NRA said: “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”
President Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If there were more people at Walmart with weapons the results would have been far better.”
The President of the NRA said: “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”
A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said: “These Mass Murders with Heat weapons are just the price of our Freedom”
Countless Politicians said: “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”
Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said: “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, like California, what do you expect”.
That’s if for this latest Mass Murder packing Heat. Sarkeses use of the Standard Form should makes reporting the next Mass Murder much easier.
A Florida Cracker breaks in to rob a Florida Wendy’s but stops to make himself dinner first
The Florida Cracker is not the sharpest knife in the drawer
The Florida Cracker is usually a docile specimen until they consume mass quantities of alcohol, and since they all Pack Heat, an alcohol impaired Cracker is a danger to society. But, in some cases, the Florida Cracker is just stupid, as is the case with this story.
Florida Cracker Patrick Benson, 34, is the “modern day Hamburglar,” police say, and he was caught on camera making himself a burger before robbing a Florida Wendy’s. Cracker Benson was arrested and charged with burglary, grand theft and attempted burglary.
Security footage at the Jensen Beach Wendy’s caught Cracker Benson in the act and also reveals a strange part of his process. After breaking the windows with a brick after store hours, Cracker Benson started up the grill, made himself a burger and ate it, the sheriff’s office said. Only after his meal did he grab the safe and make his escape.
Cracker Benson is a serial Perp since this is not the only time he did this. According to Police, ”The suspect has been successful at forcing his way into two restaurants cooking himself some dinner — then stealing what he can’t consume,” the sheriff’s office said Friday.
Benson is now in the Martin County Jail, but alas, they do not serve Wendy’s Burgers there.
A Burger King manager was told to “go back to Mexico” for speaking Spanish in a Florida fast food restaurant
Huh, um, uh oh, she said what.
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Bureau Correspondent and sister Cindy Mamelian for another Head Scratching story about a couple of Florida Crackerettes.
The General Manager of a Burger King restaurant in Florida was told by an old White Crackerette customer to “go back to Mexico” if he wanted to keep speaking Spanish.
General Manager Ricardo Castillo, who is of Puerto Rican descent, was berated by two unidentified Crackerttes as they were eating in the restaurant in Eustis, FL, 40 miles north of Orlando.
“You’re in America, you should speak American English,” one Crackerette yelled at Manager Castillo. She continued: ”Yeah, yeah, go back to Mexico if you want to keep speaking Spanish, go back to your Mexican country, your state, your country.”
Huh, um, uh oh, she said what.
These Florida Crackerttes took a play out of the Conservative Queen Sarah Palin playbook. Queen Palin once said that Hispanics in the US should speck “American”.
Burger King customer Neyzha Borrero recorded the heated exchange stating that the Crackeretts complained to the manager because he spoke Spanish in front of them. Castillo was doing some paperwork at a table when one of his employees came and spoke with him in Spanish. Borrero stated: ”The two ladies were next to the manager, and after the employee left, they told Castillo they wanted to complain.”
Thinking it was about the meal, the manager offered to give them credit or a free dessert, Borrero said. But instead, they said that he shouldn’t be speaking Spanish in public because “we are in the USA.” After being told to go back to Mexico, Castillo can be heard saying, “Guess what ma’am, I’m not Mexican, I’m not Mexican but you’re being very prejudiced and I want you out of my restaurant, right now.”
A spokesman for Burger King said: “There is no place for discrimination in our restaurants. We expect employees and guests to treat each other with respect. This incident took place at a franchised restaurant and the owner is looking into the matter.”
Sarkes cannot tell the exact age of the unidentified Racist Crackerttes, but they do look old. As such, they will probably have made their Celestial Exit by the time Hispanics become the majority in 2040 and the White Man is a Minority.
Sarkes always digs deeper into such stories. Sarkes thinks that the Old White Women were just practicing for an upcoming Trump Rally by chanting: “Send Him Back!, Send Him Back!, Send Him Back!”.
Sarkes called the Orange Commander in Tweets to discuss how he was treated at the Philadelphia airport upon returning from Europe.
Donald Trump: “Hello Sarkes, its been a while since we have talked, how was your European vacation, what can I do for you?”
Sarkes: “Donnie, Sarkes is PISSED. I was assaulted by your crazy Base in the Philadelphia airport after clearing Customs. They were shouting: “Send Him Back! Send Him Back! Send Him Back!. They were like an angry mob. I didn’t know what this was all about until I caught up reading the on-line Fox News Fair and Balanced.
Donald Trump: “Sarkes Sarkes, you know there are just a few Journalist I trust, specifically you and Sean Hannity. This was all a big misunderstanding.
Sarkes: “With all due respect Donnie, misunderstanding my ass. This crazed mob of your Base were wearing red MAGA and were shouting at anyone who was Brown, Yellow or Black, Sarkes included.”
Donald Trump: “Now settle down Sarkes, let me explain. This all started earlier this week when I called out those 4 Socialist Congressman Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan and Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts. These ungrateful people do not love America and I suggested they go back to their country of origin. They just all happened to be people of color.
Sarkes: “Donnie, you said what!?”
Donald Trump: “Now Sarkes, settle down, this got overblown as usual by the lying Liberal Press. This is nothing. I do not have a Racist Bone in my body, I am the least racist President of all time.”
Sarkes: “What about your rally in North Carolina when your crazy White Base started shouting “Send Her Back, Send Her Back, Send Her Back”.
Donald Trump: “Yeah Sarkes, I was not happy with that chant, and I started to speak quickly to stop it. I disagree with it. But again, I didn’t say that, they did, but these are good people, passionate people, they love America and are not pleased with these Socialists. I can’t blame them.”
Sarkes: “Donnie, why did the crazed White Mob verbally assault Sarkes at the Philadelphia airport?”
Donald Trump: “I don’t know Sarkes, maybe it’s because you are Brown and they mistook you for a Hispanic or Arab, you could pass for both. You know I love Armenians and Armenians love me. You know that all of my carpets in the Trump International Resorts are bought from Armenians, mostly Asadorian Carpets. And, all of my Dry Cleaning is done by Armenians, I don’t trust the Chinks.”
Sarkes: “Donnie, you know we Armenians are hot headed, Sarkes is still pissed, but will get over it. Talk to you later.
Donald Trump: “OK Sarkes, keep up the good reporting in Sarkes Corner, you are a Truth Machine.”
Sarkes and the Sarkes Corner Staff have returned from their Excellent European vacation
Upon entering the US from Europe, Sarkes was confused at the US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) station in Philadelphia, PA
Sarkes and the Sarkes Corner Staff have returned from their Excellent Viking River Cruise on the Danube. The river cruise started in Budapest, Hungry, with several stops on the Danube including Vienna, Austria with the cruise ending in Nuremberg, Germany. After that, Sarkes and Staff took a motor coach to Prague, Czech Republic for a few days to end the Excellent vacation.
For the entirety of the vacation, Sarkes was off the grid, with little to no exposure to US news. Sarkes missed the daily antics and drama generated by the Orange Chancellor. Sarkes must now catch up.
Sarkes and the entire Sarkes Corner Staff have Global Entry status which allows for swift and efficient processing thru US Customs by the US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) organization.
But, Sarkes was confused when directly outside the US CBP station in Philadelphia, PA, he saw a crowd of angry White People, wearing their Red MAGA hats, shouting at Sarkes something that sounded like: “Send Him Back! Send Him Back! Send Him Back!.”
Sarkes asked a CBP agent what this was all about. The CBP agent was courteous and told Sarkes that since he was a Brown Man, the crowd wanted Sarkes to “go back to the country he came from”.
Now, Sarkes became ever more confused. You see, while Sarkes is a Brown Man, he was born in St. Louis, Missouri, the epicenter of Trumps Base, and has never been to Armenia. Sarkes is considering a Gate 1 Travel excursion to Armenia in either 2020 or 2021 but is now reconsidering. If Sarkes goes to Armenian, his ancestral homeland, will he be able to return?
Look for more award winning Sarkes Corners in the upcoming days as Sarkes and the Sarkes Corner staff get up to speed.
Late Breaking News, Sarkes reports on a Meeting in the Oval Office
Sarkes reviles behind the scenes decisions
In Late Breaking News, before heading to Europe with the Sarkes Corner Staff, Sarkes received an Emergency Call from his source in the White House, LEAKER. At great risk, LEAKER said that he had a recording of a meeting in the Oval Office between the Orange Commander and Chief of Staff (Acting) Mick Mulvaney, discussing the 4th of July Celebration in DC.
Sarkes provides the transcript of the meeting between the Orange King Pin and Mulvaney, Word for Word. Sarkes reports, you decide.
Mick Mulvaney: “Boss, there are a few things we need to discuss about the 4th of July Celebration tomorrow ….”
The Orange Commandant: (Interrupting) “Mick, this will be the GREATEST event in American History. There is no other Military that comes close to ours. We will put all of those other parades to shame. Even my buds Vlads and Kim will not be able to compete. I am a WINNER and will always be a WINNER. There will be a record number of people in the National Mall, even more than my Inauguration!”
Mick Mulvaney: “Ok Boss, but I need to go over a few things. First, the Press and Democrats will be watching you closely. They claim that you are using Tax Payer money for what will be a Political Rally for your 2020 Presidential Run. You need to be careful about what you say …..”
The Orange Monarch: (Interrupting) “Mick, F – – k the Fake News Media and the Socialist Democrats, they are all a bunch of F – – king Idiots, Stone Cold Losers, Low IQ, Deranged Animals. I will say what ever I want, you understad. Let them try to charge my Campaign. I will just ignore them, and if they sue we have the Supreme Court in our pocket. F – – K THEM! What’s Next.
Mick Mulvaney: “Uh, oh, well, OK, I don’t have anything else”
The Orange Emperor: “Well Mick, I have a few questions. Have Sarah Sanders get a hold of my Sec Def Patrick Shanahan”
Mick Mulvaney: “Uh Boss, Sarah Sanders resigned as of the end of June and Shanahan resigned a few weeks ago over some Domestic Violence issues. Your new Press Secretary is Stephanie Grisham who will do double duty as Melania’s Press Secretary. Your new Acting Sec Def is Mark Esper.”
The Orange Autocrat: “Oh well, we don’t need a Press Secretary, I told Sarah not to hold any Press Conferences, make sure Stephanie gets the word. And I don’t believe for a minute that Shanahan is guilty of Domestic Violence. He told me he did not do that and I have no reason to doubt him. After all, he was a Boeing Executive and they have a strict Code of Conduct. That Sarkes guy was also a Boeing Executive and his Sarkes Corner is Fair and Balanced. Oh well, get Esper in here immediately.
Meeting is suspended and 30 minutes later Acting Sec Def Mark Esper arrives from the Pentagon.
Mark Esper: “Sir, Mick said that you had a few questions about the 4th of July activities tomorrow.”
The Orange King: “Mark, Mick tells me that you have scheduled a Fly Over with Air Force 1, the F-18 Blue Angels, and the F-22. If anyone asks, you are using DOD Training Budget for these Flyovers, understand. And, Air Force 1 and F-18 Blue Angels are great Boeing products that always come in ahead of schedule and under cost so give them the most Air time. The Failed Lockheed Martin F-22 is BILLIONS over cost and YEARS behind Schedule. Scratch the F-22 from the Flyover.”
Mark Esper: “Uh, oh, well, yes Sir, will do”
The Orange Royal Majesty: “And Mark, I want those Abrams Tanks that are staged on the National Mall to roll toward the Podium when I talk, understand.”
Mark Esper: “But sir, we can’t do that, the DC Mayor and Police have told us that the Abrams Tanks are not allowed on their streets due to the damage that will cause…..”
The Orange Potentate: (interrupting) “Just what about I just told you don’t you understand, remember that I am your Boss and you take orders directly from me. And F – – k that Failed DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, her name is Bowser because she has the face of the Dog. What is DC going to do, send me a Bill, (laughing), I’ll just ignore that like I do everything else, now make it happen.
Mark Esper: “Yes sir, whatever you say”
The Orange Premier: “Now Mark, Mick Tells me that the stupid Baby Trump Ballon will be flying over the National Mall. That is Totally Illegal, Evil, flown by Fools, Seriously Flawed, a Hit Job, Phony and TREASONOUS, TREASONOUS! If they fly the Baby Trump Ballon I am ordering you to shoot is down, I don’t care what you use. Understand.”
The Orange Exalted Ruler: “Mark, one last thing, I want our troops to Goose Step when they march toward me before I speak. If Putins, Kims, Duartes, and Erderon’s troops can Goose Step our US troops should Goose Step higher and better.”
Mark Esper whispers to Mick Mulvaney: (whispering) “Mick, we do not have any troops lined up to march tomorrow, where did he get that idea.”
Mick Mulvaney whispers to Mark Esper: (whispering) “Mark, just shake your head and leave.”
The Orange Fuhrer: “Ok Mick, that should do it. Oh wait, has my Uniform been delivered? While I am the fittest President EVER, I want to make sure that the Tailor did not screw up and made it too tight.”
Mick Mulvaney: “Your Uniform was delivered, I’ll bring it right up.”
A Florida woman was charged after giving husband’s guns to police
Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my
Thanks to Sarkeses High School buddy Chuckie Chuckie Kofron for another great case study of Florida Crackerdom. You see, recently retired Chuckie Chuckie had been considering buying property in Florida but is now apprehensive after reading the stories in Sarkes Corner on the antics of the Heat Packing, Florida Cracker. Like Fox News Fair and Balanced, Sarkes passes no judgement, Sarkes reports, You decide.
Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. Sometimes, the Police and Prosecutors in Florida, the Gunshine State, never cease to amaze also.
A Florida Cracker or Crackerette are usually docile specimens. A Florida Cracker or Cracerette packing Heat is an inevitable accident waiting to happen.
A Florida woman’s effort to protect herself from domestic violence has become a flashpoint in the debate over gun rights and victims’ safety.
Crackerette Courtney Irby gave her estranged husband’s guns to police after he was charged with domestic violence-aggravated battery, only to find herself arrested for Theft. Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.
Crackerette Irby spent six days in jail on charges of Armed Burglary and Grand Theft after she retrieved an Assault Rifle and handgun from her husband’s apartment and gave them to the Lakeland Police. Cracker Joseph Irby was spending one day in jail at the time, accused of ramming into her car after a divorce hearing.
After her husband’s arrest, Crackerette Irby petitioned for a temporary injunction for protection, which was granted. Federal law prohibits people under a domestic violence restraining order from possessing guns, but it’s up to local law enforcement to enforce it. Lakeland Police DID NOT take the Cracker Abuser’s Heat away! Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my,
Crackerette Irby told police that she believed he wouldn’t turn in his guns himself, so she took action. According to her arrest report, she said she entered her husband’s apartment through a locked door without his permission and took the guns to a police station.
“So you’re telling me you committed an armed burglary?” the Lakeland Police Officer asked her. Crackerette Irby replied: ”Yes, I am but he wasn’t going to turn them in so I am doing it”. The Lakeland Police Office then arrested Crackerette Irby. Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.
The arrest of an abused Crackeretee by the Lakeland Police drew the ire of many. State Rep. Anna Eskamani of Orlando tweeted that it’s “ridiculous” to arrest a woman in this kind of situation. She sent a letter to State Attorney Brian Haas asking that Crackerette Irby not be prosecuted. She cited research showing the presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation makes it five times more likely a woman will be murdered. No surprise there.
While federal law prohibits people under domestic violence restraining orders and convicted of domestic violence from possessing guns, local law enforcement and prosecutors don’t have the tools they need to enforce those restrictions, Eskamani said in her letter to the state attorney. “These loopholes are major contributors to the deadly relationship between domestic violence and firearms,” Eskamani said.
Cracker Irby’s charges involve an altercation that began with a shouting match after the divorce hearing. According to his arrest report, they both got into their cars and then he used his vehicle to strike her back bumper several times, running her off the road. Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.
In requesting that she be released on bond, Crackerette Irby’s attorney argued that she didn’t commit theft since she didn’t take the guns for her personal use and didn’t benefit by taking them. Huh, Uh, What, Are you kidding me, Oh my.
Gun rights advocates and the NRA are in favor of prosecuting Crackerette Irby while her supporters launched a fundraising campaign for her legal fees.
No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up. Only in America, Only in Florida, Only in the Cracker Kingdom can this happen. This is Cracker Justice. Sarkes Ponders, what would Judge Judy say about Cracker Justice?
– London, Ontario, Canada, is the birthplace of Insulin
– A Caravan of Americans is Invading Canada
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Canadian Bureau Chief Dennis Parass for this Breaking Story on an American invasion of Canada.
Disclaimer: Sarkes has Diabetes and has taken Insulin for over 20 years. In order to provide Fair and Balanced reporting, this Sarkes Corner was assembled by Sarkes Corner Junior Staffers but Sarkes did proof read to ensure that this story is Accurate, Fair, and Balanced.
London, Ontario, Canada, is the birthplace of Insulin, and the latest stop for desperate American Diabetics. A Caravan of scores of American Diabetics are heading to London, Ontario, Canada, to pay homage to Sir Frederick Banting, inventor of Insulin, and to buy cheap Canadian Insulin.
Sir Frederick Banting was a Canadian medical scientist and physician who discovered the therapeutic potential of Insulin to treat people with Diabetes. In 1923, Banting received the Nobel Prize in Medicine at age 32.
American Quinn Nystrom, an American Diabetic, is a Diabetes Advocate, Speaker and Author. With an already impressive resume, Nystrom is adding Anarchist to her resume. Nystrom is leading a Caravan of American Diabetics with plans Invade Canada.
The Caravan of Diabetic Americans is heading to London, Ontario, to buy cheap insulin at Canadian pharmacies and to pay tribute to the co-founder of the lifesaving medication, Sir Frederick Banting. The caravan will leave from Minneapolis, picking up American Diabetics in Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois and East Lansing, Mich.
It is estimated that the Diabetic American Invasion of Canada is as Uuuuuuge as the Mexican Invasion of the US Southern Border.
Anarchist Nystrom stated: ”There is an insulin crisis in America. The price of insulin has increased 200 per cent and one in four Americans has been found to be rationing their insulin.” Nystrom added: “A vial of the insulin in the US costs $340 but just $30 in Canada. I was able to get 10 vials of the insulin I need for the price of one vial in America”.
In Canada, insulin is available over the counter. The American Invaders have alerted London, Ontario area pharmacies that they’re coming, so the medication can be made available, and are spreading out to different pharmacies so as not to overburden the supply.
Nystrom Continued: ”That’s the other shocking thing for Americans. We can just come to Canada and buy what we need. In the U.S., you need a prescription, and it’s a lot of rigamarole. Sometimes, if the contract for our particular Insulin prescription expires, your insurance company will no longer cover it, or if they have a new contract with a new company, you have to switch brands.”
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau called an Emergency Meeting of the Canadian Cabinet to determine how Canada will handle the Caravan of American Diabetics invading Canada.
A source in the Canadian Cabinet, code name “Maple Leaker”, provided Sarkes a summary of that discussion. “Maple Leaker” reported the options under consideration by the Canadian Cabinet:
Build a Wall – The Canadian Cabinet considered building a Great Big Beautiful Wall to keep out the American Diabetic Invaders.
Impose Tariffs – While Insulin is offered “over the counter” with no prescription, the Cabinet considered requiring Canadian Pharmacies to require a I.D. to buy Canadian Insulin. If an American wants to buy the Canadian Insulin, a 1,000 percent Tariff would be imposed.
Increase Insulin Production – Many in the Canadian Cabinet advocated that American Diabetics are NO threat to Canada. These Invaders buy their Insulin and return to the United States, they do not want to stay in Canada due to the high Tax rate. They also argued that since many Diabetics are over weight, they will spend money at Canadian restaurants.
Import Insulin from China – The Canadian Cabinet discussed addressing the impact on Canadian Insulin production by importing Insulin from China and selling Chinese Insulin to the American Diabetic Invaders.
After being informed about the Invasion of Canada by American Diabetics, the Orange Physician Tweeted:
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 4:56AM
I am the Fittest President EVER EVER in the history of the US, so I don’t know much about Insulin. But my people tell me that Insulin produced in the US is of the highest Quality and superior to Canadian Insulin. Our American Pharmaceutical Companies, Insurance Companies, and their CEO’s, are entitled to make a FAIR Profit for developing High Quality Insulin.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 5:17AM
Canadian Insulin is NOT that much cheaper than US Insulin. This is FAKE NEWS by the Canadian Broadcast Corporation (CBC). Like my Russian friend Vlads and I discussed at the G20, there is FAKE NEWS Everywhere, but more so in Liberal countries like Canada. FAKE FAKE FAKE!
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 5:38AM
I bumped into that Panty Waist Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau at the G20 and told him to STOP luring American Diabetics to Canada with Cheap, Fake, Insulin. I told Trudeau if he did not stop luring American Diabetics to Canada that I would put Uuuuuge Tariffs on Canadian imports which are inferior to American products anyway.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 5:53AM
The Canadians claim that they invented Insulin in 1923, DID NOT HAPPEN!!, FAKE NEWS again. Like all Great medicines, Insulin was invented by an American in 1905. Don’t believe what you read from the Canadian Broadcast Corporation, they are no better and probably worse than the Failed CNN, New York Time, and Washington Post.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 6:14AM
Liberal Democrats want you to believe that Canadian Insulin is cheaper and just as good as American Insulin. DO NOT BELIVE THEM. This is another lie and Liberal strategy to try to win the 2020 Presidential Election. These Liberals want to take away your Fairly Priced, Great Value, private medical insurance, and to put our Great American Insurance Companies out of business. The Liberals want to force you to get your medical care in a system like Canada. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN, vote straight Republican in 2020. I alone have Made America Great Again, we now need to Keep America Great!!!!!
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – July 1 @ 6:28AM
I am trying to get a hold of Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan to immediately order Troops to our Northern Border with Canada to protect our American Diabetics. He is not answering his phone. Shanahan, when you read this give me a call IMMEDIATELY! Sarah Sanders, get on the horn and have Shanahan give me a call.