One Brazen Cracker

Executive Summary:

  • Florida Cracker Anthony James David took his Neighbors to an NFL Game and paid with a credit card that he stole from them. 
  • Is this one Brazen Cracker or what

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Sarkes is a Truth Machine, he cannot make this stuff up.

A Florida Cracker, Anthony James David, generously offered to treat his neighbors to a Tampa Bay Buccaneers football game.  Investigators in Hernando County said that Cracker David paid for the tickets to the Bucs game using a credit card he stole from the people he invited to the game. 

On the surface, Cracker David seemed like a generous neighbor

Cracker David was arrested on various fraud charges.  The arrest came after neighbors Bill and Melissa Callahan reported their credit cards had been used fraudulently to purchase a wide variety of goods and services including flowers from a florist, food from Panera, and $750 worth of legal services from an attorney (Morgan and Morgan, For The People)

Cracker David made various purchases with the stolen credit card

But the biggest score Cracker David made off the Callahans was when he treated them to a Tampa Bay Bucs game using one of their credit cards.  

Bill Callahan stated:  “As it turned out looking at our credit card statement, we had actually financed the entire day.  He seemed like a really nice guy. Introduced himself as a pharmaceutical rep, and everything seemed pretty accurate with what he was telling us.”  Cracker David was caught when surveillance video from some of the purchases implicated him.

Tickets, Food, and Drinks for 3 at a Tampa Bay Bucs game = $$$$$$$$$$

If Sarkes was the Prosecuting Attorney in Tampa, he would add a Hate Crime rider to the charges against Cracker David.  What makes this a Hate Crime?  Despite winning the Super Bowl, the Tampa Bay Bucs have the UGLIEST uniforms of ANY professional sports team.  Red and Pewter, …….. Pewter, what’s with Pewter.  The Tampa Bay Bucs uniforms STINK.  So, not only did the Callahans pay for the game with their stolen credit cards, they had to watch a football game with the ugliest uniforms in all of Pro Teams.  Now, that is Cruel.

Tom Brady may be the GREATEST OF ALL TIME, but he cannot make the Red and Pewter look good

Golf is a Dangerous Sport

Executive Summary:

– Golf is typically depicted as a Leisure Walk in the Park

– In fact, Golf is a Dangerous Sport

“Many People Say” that Golf is a sport of leisure for the Rich, Old, White Man.  Sarkes is here to say that Golf can often be a dangerous sport, almost as dangerous as Auto Racing, Downhill Skiing, and other sports where participants are always on the edge of disaster.  

Don’t be fooled, Golf is also a dangerous sport

Mark Twain once said: “Golf is a good walk ruined”.   Mark Twain was born in Florida……………Florida, Missouri that is.  As such, when Mark Twain played golf in Missouri, his only risk was stepping in a gopher hole and breaking an ankle.  Twain may have been an intellect, but he had no idea about the perils of golfing in Florida………the State that is. 

Mark Twain was not as smart as history would lead one to believe

Golf can be a healthy way to exercise and have fun, but it can also lead to severe injuries.  According to government statistics, more than 300,000 people have suffered serious golf injuries the past few years.  Many required hospitalization and some were fatal.  The most common golf injuries are face impact injuries, either the ball or the club hitting the golfers face. OUCH, OH MY, THAT HAD TO HURT!

These Florida Golfers have a great trophies from getting hit with a Golf Ball

Florida Golfer’s Ball ends up in Alligator’s Mouth

An alligator must have wanted to play some golf Monday at Pelican Sound Golf Club in Estero, FL, Sarkeses home town.  When golfer Marc Goldstein, 68, went looking for his ball after a wayward shot near a pond, he noticed something else was interested in it.   Goldstein said:  ”As I got close I saw that my golf ball was lying adjacent to the alligator’s head, so I grabbed my phone for a picture, but before I could take one the Gator picked it up in his mouth.”  Goldstein said he didn’t do anything after the alligator took off into the pond with his Titelist ProV-1 golf ball.

Golfer Goldstein did not try to retrieve his $4.50 ProV-1 golf ball

Florida Golfer Retrieves his Golf Ball

A Golfer in Cape Coral, Florida grabs, his ball off the back of an alligator.  A video captured an alligator sunbathing in a golf course pond with a golf ball laying on top of its tail.   The golfer, not wanting to lose his $4.50 ProV-1 golf ball, snuck up on the Gator and retrieved his golf ball. 

https://fox2now.com/news/national/watch-florida-man-retrieves-golf-ball-off-gators-back/

One guess as to which is the dumber species in this video

Florida Golfer Drowns Fishing for Golf Balls

A Florida golfer is believed to have drowned after falling into a golf club pond while looking for his lost golf ball.  Hermilo Jazmines of Lutz, Florida, was playing golf with a friend at the East Lake Woodlands Country Club in Oldsmar.  Jazmines teed off and was last seen looking for his ball near the hole #3 green. Jazmines’ golf cart was parked on the cart path and his putter was found lying on the ground near the water.  Deputies were called after Jazmines was reported missing and the Oldsmar Fire Department searched the wooded area and the edge of the pond. 

The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office dive team responded and located Jazmines submerged in the water near his putter. He was pronounced deceased on scene.   Investigators say the evidence suggests Jazmines may have fallen into the water and drowned. Deputies spoke with friends of Jazmines who say he likes to search the course for lost golf balls.

East Lake Woodlands CC was the scene of an unfortunate Golf accident

There are many ways that accidents happen on Golf Courses in Florida.

While no bodily injuries happened here, this Florida Cracker had a serious Fashion accident 

Sarkes is well aware of the hazards of playing Golf and is a strong proponent of playing Defensive Golf.

Sarkes reduces his chance of injury to himself and others by using an Armenian Rage Club