Cracker Needs a Ride

Executive Summary:

– A Florida Cracker called 911 to get a ride home

– This is one dense Cracker

Matthew Kyle Leatham is a Florida Cracker who made headlines after he was arrested for calling 911 to request a ride home.  Calling 911 to get a ride home in itself is not unusual behavior for The Cracker, whose judgement is commonly influenced by booze or drugs.  

But, Cracker Leatham celebrity is that his Mug Shot shows that Cracker Leatham has the state of Florida tattooed on his forehead, with the peninsula reaching between his eyes.

Cracker Leatham is proud to be a resident of The Gunshine State

Cracker Leatham has been charged because he called 911 TWICE to request a ride home, according to the criminal complaint posted on the Pasco County website. It’s against the law in Florida to make a “false alarm” and misuse emergency responder resources. 

Florida has an Open Kimono policy where when you do the Crime, Everyone knows what you did 

Cracker Leatham called 911 to ask for a ride home early in the morning on January 31. Cracker Leatham “cursed” at the 911 Emergency Dispatcher who answered the call. The Dispatcher provided Leatham with the non-emergency phone number to reach law enforcement “for future reference” and ended the call.

Later, when arrested, Cracker Leatham told the Deputy that he had called 911 because he was looking for a ride home. The deputy offered to call a taxi for Cracker Leatham, but Leatham declined, citing that he didn’t have money to pay for a cab.  When faced with the decision to buy booze or have money for a cab, the choice is obvious to the Cracker.

Cracker Leatham could not afford a Cab and did not have an Uber account

One of the more Denser Crackers, Cracker Leatham did not get the message. Cracker Leatham started walking home, then dialed 911 a Second time and asked for someone to give him a ride home. This in front of the Deputy that had just given him a warning!!!!!!  The deputy placed Cracker Leatham under arrest after observing that he was not having an emergency.

Cracker Leatham is one of the Dullest knifes in a drawer of Dull knifes 

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise…..Cracker Leatham was also hit with a drug charge.  The Deputy noted that Leatham appeared to be under the influence of alcohol at the time of the arrest. The Deputy found that Cracker Leatham was in physical possession of under 20 grams of Marijuana.  Of course, Cracker Leatham offered the tried and true Cracker Defense, denying that the Marijuana was his and had no idea how it got in his pocket.

The Evil MaryJane has been the downfall of many a Cracker

If Sarkes was not so busy with Golf, Pickleball, Bike Riding, and other Florida activities, he would offer to represent Cracker Leatham in fight these charges in Court.   You see, Sarkes would ask the court to consider:  What is more egregious; Calling 911, while inebriated, for a Non Emergency, or Driving While Under the Influence.  Sarkes for sure would get a Not Guilty verdict.  This is a no brainer.  

Sarkeses Juris Prudence comes from watching Judge Judy for over 22 years