How A Cracker Spends Their Stimulus Checks

Executive Summary:

– The $1.9 Trillion Recovery/Stimulus Bill has passed Congress

– The Florida Cracker is Chomping to spend their $1,400

The Florida Cracker is typically low on the Socio Economic Food Chain.  While the Cracker has little savings, living Paycheck to Paycheck, the Cracker is happy spending their income on Booze, Drugs, Heat, and Bullets.  The Cracker lives a Happy Life.

All a Cracker needs is his Booze and Heat

After another night of Boozing and Target Practice, the Cracker woke up to the News (on Fox News or One America Network or NewsMax) that they soon would be receiving $1,400 for everyone in their household.  This caused a rush of Crackers running back to their trailers where they had previously left their wife and children, to get the maximum payout from the Government.

Nothing unites a Family like a $1,400 Stimulus Check per Person

So how does the Cracker spend their $1,400 per person Stimulus Check?  Well, no doubt, a small number of Crackers will donate to their Orange Messiah’s Super PAC – Save America.  

The Cracker will make small donations to STOP THE STEAL and to Save America!

But more likely, the Cracker will spend their Stimulus checks on buying Heat and Bullets.  Every time a Democrat is elected President, Great 2nd Amendment Mericans run to their Gun Shops to buy Heat and Bullets in bulk, fearful that a Democratic President will confiscate their Guns and Bullets. 

There is no better sales stimulus for Gun Shops than the election of a Democrat President

Personal Defense World (PDW) Magazine is ready to help the Cracker select the RIGHT Gun at the RIGHT Price to spend their Stimulus Check.  Each issue of PDW covers a variety of topics, including gun reviews, personal and home product reviews, and more.

PDW Magazine makes sure that Great Americans buy the RIGHT Heat for their individual needs

Shortly after the Congress approved the $1.9 Trillion Recovery Bill, PDW Magazine published the following guidance for how Great Mericans can spend their $1,400 Stimulus checks:

From PDW Magazine:

“Are you one of the lucky Americans receiving a $1,400 stimulus check courtesy of the Coronavirus outbreak? Can you think of a better way to spend the hard-earned tax money the government is giving back to you than using it to practice your Second Amendment rights? After all, buying a new gun would stimulate the economy and help both manufacturers and retailers, which is the overriding purpose of the stimulus program. At the same time, you might just use that gun to save your life or the lives of your family members if the nation’s social situation continues to spiral out of control. Buying a gun with your coronavirus stimulus check is your duty as an American!”

With his Stimulus Check, Sarkes will not need to call 911

So, as a service to Great Mericans looking to buy Heat with their $1,400 Stimulus Checks, PDW Magazine identified the Top 5 Handguns to buy with our Coronavirus Stimulus Checks:

The Springfield XD-M 

The Springfield XD-M Elite series pistols build on the success of earlier XD-M pistols, with a number of improvements. In fact, Springfield boasts that the 9mm Elite line “represents the pinnacle of performance in factory striker-fired pistols. One notable improvement is the Elite pistols are built around Springfield’s MET trigger. It sports a flat face, crisp break and integral overtravel stop. The Elite series is available in four different models from a full-sized pistol to a concealed-carry variant. MSRPs range from $559 to $709. 

The MET Trigger separates the Springfield XD-M from the rest

The SIG Sauer P320 RXP

The SIG Sauer P320 RXP series of pistols combines all the time-proven P320 features with the company’s SIG Romeo1Pro red-dot optic. All four models—Full Size, Compact, XFull and XCompact—are chambered in the popular, easy-to-find 9mm cartridge. The Romeo that comes mounted on the pistol is a time-proven 6-MOA reflex sight. It features 12 brightness settings and a 20,000-hour battery life. Depending on what model you choose, the P320 RXP comes out-of-the box-ready for competition, range, self-defense and even concealed carry. MSRP is around $800.

You can’t beat the PRO Red-Dot Optic, time proven on the SIG Sauer P320

The Smith & Wesson M&P M2.0

The Smith & Wesson M&P M2.0 pistol is the newest version in the popular, polymer-framed M&P line. You can get it chambered in 9mm, .40 S&W or .45 ACP. Featuring a lower barrel bore axis for reduced muzzle rise and faster follow-up shots, the M2.0 also has a greatly improved, crisper trigger with a lighter pull and audible reset. The striker-fired pistol is a great improvement over earlier M&Ps and comes at an MSRP of under $500, so those shopping with their stimulus check can afford two, plus some practice ammo.

Priced to sell, one can buy 2 Smith & Wesson M&P’s with our Stimulus Checks!

The Kimber K6S DASA

For revolver fans, don’t overlook the K6S DASA Combat. Kimber chambered the 4-inch-barreled, 6-shot revolver in .357 Mag. It takes the hugely popular K6s system and outfits it with a double- and single-action trigger mechanism. The platform has all the benefits of the original K6s, including its awesome double-action trigger pull, but with the added advantage of a single-action trigger. The new 4-inch model features an extended combat grip with finger grooves for better control and white-dot sights. MSRP is $890.

One never knows when they will need a Combat Handgun, the answer, the Kimber K6S

The Taurus G3

For those whose mortgage will eat up a large part of their stimulus kickback, check out the Tarus G3. The full-sized polymer-framed, striker-fired pistol is chambered in 9mm and has a capacity of 15+1 with available extended magazines. The G3 comes in a number of frame colors and both matte stainless and matte black slide finishes. The G3 even features an adjustable rear sight—a rarity on budget-priced handguns. MSRP is around $350.

The Cracker can buy a Taurus G3 and have money left over for Booze and Drugs

While PDW Magazine provides a definitive guide for Crackers on how to spend their $1,400 Stimulus checks, the word will need to spread word of mouth.  You see, the Cracker is also low on the Literacy Food Chain and will have troubles reading these great reviews in PDW Magazine.

Sarkes, motivated by the PDW Magazine Reviews, will use his Stimulus Check to buy some Heat