A Protective Mother Crackerette

Executive Summary:

  • There is nothing more dangerous than a Mother protecting her children
  • This is amplified if the Mother is a Crackerette 
There is nothing Stronger than a Mother protecting her Child 

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Sarkes cannot make this stuff up. 

A Florida mom, with a boxing glove superglued to one hand, fought a student at her daughter’s school.   The Crackerette, Edith Riddle, 34, showed up at the school wearing one boxing glove.  The Beatdown occurred at Dupont Middle School in Jacksonville, FL.

Crackerette Riddle has Anger issues for sure

A school safety officer heard a frantic announcement over their school radio around noon that there was a fight underway outside the cafeteria.  According to police, Crackerette Riddle had just left the school with her daughter after a meeting with the Principal about her eighth-grader’s “hostile outbursts” at another student.

The young Crackerette Daughter must also have Anger issues like her Mother

Instead of leaving the campus after the meeting, the Crackerette Daughter made a beeline for the cafeteria to fight the Girl. The Daughter Crackerette was pummeling the other girl when the Mother Crackerette Riddle joined in, throwing punches herself, with her Boxing Gloved hand.   Crackerette Riddle told Police that the Boxing Glove was superglued to her wrist and that she couldn’t remove it.  What, she did what, she said what, huh, uh, oh my, are you kidding me. 

Apparently it is normal for a Cracker to wear a Boxing Glove to a School conference 

The Victim was found with abrasions on her knees and forearms.  The Victims Mother arrived at the school and told police she wanted to pursue criminal charges before taking the child to a nearby hospital.  Crackerette Riddle was arrested and charged with: child abuse with a personal/special weapon.

Regardless of Species, do not mess with a Mother protecting her Children  
Sarkes knows who he is placing his money on amongst these Great Fighters

In most cases, erratic Cracker behavior is associated with excess booze or drug consumption.  In this case, there is no evidence that Crackerette Riddle was under the Influence.

No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Thoughts and Prayers

Executive Summary:

– There has been 2 Mass Murder Shootings within a Week

– Politicians send their “Thoughts and Prayers”

Sarkes was reflecting on the 2 recent Mass Murders that have occurred within 1 week.  8 innocent people Murdered in Atlanta, GA, and 10 innocent people, including a Police Officer, were Murdered in Boulder, CO.  All were murdered by Americans who have the right to “bear” Semi-Automatic Assault weapons.

Sarkes is normally calm, cool, collected, and never gets emotional.  But when our elected Politicians started with their “Thoughts and Prayers” mantra after these past 2 Mass Murders, Sarkes snapped.

All the Politicians give us after Mass Murders is their “Thoughts and Prayers”
The Politicians “Thoughts and Prayers” are a Big help to the Families of those  Murdered

Sarkes does not believe that the Founding Fathers, when they created the 2nd Amendment, had the vision that Semi Automatic Assault Weapons would be used in Mass Murders all across America.  It took our Supreme Court and the NRA to get us where we are today.  All Americans, even those with a Mental Defect, have “the right to keep and bear arms”.

Our Founding Fathers knew nothing but Single Shot Muskets

Sarkes has had enough of this “Thoughts and Prayers” Bullshit.  If Sarkes hears one more Politician say they send their “Thoughts and Prayers” to the Families of the Murder Victims, Sarkes will go out and buy an AR-15.  

Wait, Whoooo Horse, Hold On …………….. that’s a bad idea, a very bad idea.  

Sarkes has no idea how to:

  • buy an AR-15
  • hold an AR-15
  • Load and Lock an AR-15
  • find the Safety on an AR-15
  • shoot an AR-15

If Sarkes ever bought an AR-15, he would probably be his own first victim.  So, no, no AR-15 for Sarkes.  Sarkes will be content to Bitch and Moan when our elected Senators and Representatives send their “Thoughts and Prayers” to the victims and their families of Mass Murders.

“Thoughts and Prayers” are not enough for many Americans today

So, the only Heat that Sarkes has is his Semi Automatic Lighter that he uses to light the charcoal in his Big Green Egg.

The Only Heat Sarkes owns is his Semi Automatic Lighter
Sarkes could not light his Big Green Egg without his Semi Automatic Lighter

If Sarkes hears another Politician give their “Thoughts and Prayers” to the family of those Mass Murdered, he may check himself into a mental institution…………but could still buy an AR-15. God Bless the NRA and Supreme Court.

Another Senseless Mass Shooting: Boulder, CO

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes uses his Mass Shooting Standard Form. 
  • This time, the Mass Shooting was in Boulder, CO
  • This Mass Shooting was the second in the US in a week, Sarkes is working Overtime

Another Mass Murder, this time by an angry Islamic American Man, has happened.  In this case, the Mass Murder was in (Fill in the Location) Boulder, CO.

The Mass Murder happened at the (Fill in the venue, example: school, mall, church, concert) King Soopers, a grocery store.

(Fill in the number of innocent people killed) 10 people were murdered, including 1 Police Officer, Eric Talley 

The Mass Murderer, an angry Islamic American (Fill in the Murders Name and other details)  Ahmad Al Aliwi Alissa, 21 years old

Family describe Alissa as anti-social, paranoid, and mentally ill …… you think

The Mass Murderer used (Identify the weapon used) an AR-15 Assault Rifle

The AR-15 is the Weapon of choice for Angry Mass Murderers
In Merica today, one can get an AR-15, even with a mental defect

The Angry Islamic American Mass Murderer (Select one: killed himself, was killed by Police, was Captured by Police) was wounded and captured by Police

Shortly after the Mass Murder:

  • Democrats say: “This is the time for strict gun laws”
  • Republicans say: “We are mourning the victims, it’s too soon to discuss gun legislation”
  • A spokesman for the NRA said:  “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”
  • The “Former Guy”, Donald Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If there were more people in the King Soopers with weapons the results would have been far better.”
  • The President of the NRA said:  “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” 
  • A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “These Mass Murders with Semi Automatic weapons are just the price of our Freedom” 
  • Countless Politicians said:  “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”
  • Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, like King Soopers, what do you expect”.

That’s if for this latest Mass Murderer packing Heat.  Sarkeses use of the Standard Form should makes reporting the next Mass Murder much easier. 

Like our Politicians always say:  Thoughts and Prayers, Thoughts and Prayers

Presidential Golf

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes analyzes Presidential Golfers

– Sarkeses in-depth analysis produces surprising results

Sarkes assigned his crack Sarkes Corner Sports Bureau the assignment to identify the Who’s Who of Presidential Golfers.  Specifically, Sarkes wanted to know:  Which Presidents played the most rounds of Golf during their Presidency, Who was the Best Golfer of all the Presidents, and Who was the worst Golfer of all the Presidents.  The results were surprising. 

Who Played the Most Rounds of Golf?  “Many People Say” it’s a No Brainer, it had to be the Orange Duffer.  Well, not so.  The top 4 Presidents who played the most rounds of Golf were:

Coming in at #4 playing 42 Rounds per Year – Barrack Obama

Obama enjoyed golf but was handicapped as he played Left-Handed

Coming in at #3 playing 75 Rounds per Year – Donald Trump

The Orange Shanker always shot a better score than anyone he played with, and looked good in a Golf shirt

Coming in at #2 playing 100 Rounds per Year – Dwight Eisenhower

After WW II, Ike deserved to relax on the Golf Course

Coming in at # 1 playing 200 Rounds per Year – Woodrow Wilson

When not on the Golf Course, Wilson led America thru WW I and created the Federal Reserve System

Cleary, Presidential Golf crosses Party Lines as 2 of the Top 4 Presidential Golfers were Republican and 2 were Democrats.

No inference can be made about who plays more Golf, GOPs or Dems

Who was the Best Golfer of all our Presidents? While he did not play a lot of rounds of Golf, John F. Kennedy is generally recognized as our Best Presidential Golfer, with the best Swing and lowest strokes per round.

JFK was a world class Golfer in addition to being a world class Sniffing Cock Hound

Who was the Worst Golfer of all of our President’s?  Hands down, Gerald Ford.  It is estimated that Ford, who loved to play in Pro-AM Golf Tournaments, had hit at least 5 spectators, 5!, with his errant Tee shots.  Sarkes has no empathy for Ford’s victims.  After the first victim, the others should have known better.

Ford was a genuinely nice person, but really sucked at Golf

Sarkes himself loves to play Golf, but if he was President, he just might have beaten Gerald Ford as the worst Presidential Golfer.

Sarkeses friends made Sarkes an Armenian Rage Club to throw, which saves his good Golf Clubs from damage

Another Senseless Mass Shooting: Atlanta, GA

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes uses his Mass Shooting Standard Form. 
  • This time, the Mass Shooting was at a 3 Massage Parlors in Atlanta, GA

Another Mass Murder, by an Angry White Man, has happened.  In this case, the Mass Murder was in (Fill in the Location) Atlanta, GA.

The Mass Murder happened at the (Fill in the venue, example: school, mall, church, concert) 3 Massage Parlors.

(Fill in the number of innocent people killed) 8 people were murdered, 6 are Asian

The Mass Murderer, an Angry White Man (Fill in the Murders Name and other details) Robert Aaron Long, 21 years old.

Long is one Angry White Man

The Mass Murderer’s Motive (Identify the motive) 6 of the 8 murdered were Asian, it is believed that Long was revenging the “China Flu”.

The Angry White Man Mass Murderer (Select one: killed himself, was killed by Police, was Captured by Police) was captured by Police

Shortly after the Mass Murder:

  • A spokesman for the NRA said:  “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”
  • Former President Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If there was an Armed Guards in those Massage Parlors the results would have been far better.”
  • The President of the NRA said:  “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” 
  • A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “These Mass Murders with semi automatic weapons are just the price of our Freedom” 
  • Countless Politicians said:  “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”
  • Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, like businesses in Atlanta, what do you expect”.

That’s if for this latest Mass Murder packing Heat.  Sarkeses use of the Standard Form should makes reporting the next Mass Murder much easier.  

Cracker Needs a Ride

Executive Summary:

– A Florida Cracker called 911 to get a ride home

– This is one dense Cracker

Matthew Kyle Leatham is a Florida Cracker who made headlines after he was arrested for calling 911 to request a ride home.  Calling 911 to get a ride home in itself is not unusual behavior for The Cracker, whose judgement is commonly influenced by booze or drugs.  

But, Cracker Leatham celebrity is that his Mug Shot shows that Cracker Leatham has the state of Florida tattooed on his forehead, with the peninsula reaching between his eyes.

Cracker Leatham is proud to be a resident of The Gunshine State

Cracker Leatham has been charged because he called 911 TWICE to request a ride home, according to the criminal complaint posted on the Pasco County website. It’s against the law in Florida to make a “false alarm” and misuse emergency responder resources. 

Florida has an Open Kimono policy where when you do the Crime, Everyone knows what you did 

Cracker Leatham called 911 to ask for a ride home early in the morning on January 31. Cracker Leatham “cursed” at the 911 Emergency Dispatcher who answered the call. The Dispatcher provided Leatham with the non-emergency phone number to reach law enforcement “for future reference” and ended the call.

Later, when arrested, Cracker Leatham told the Deputy that he had called 911 because he was looking for a ride home. The deputy offered to call a taxi for Cracker Leatham, but Leatham declined, citing that he didn’t have money to pay for a cab.  When faced with the decision to buy booze or have money for a cab, the choice is obvious to the Cracker.

Cracker Leatham could not afford a Cab and did not have an Uber account

One of the more Denser Crackers, Cracker Leatham did not get the message. Cracker Leatham started walking home, then dialed 911 a Second time and asked for someone to give him a ride home. This in front of the Deputy that had just given him a warning!!!!!!  The deputy placed Cracker Leatham under arrest after observing that he was not having an emergency.

Cracker Leatham is one of the Dullest knifes in a drawer of Dull knifes 

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise…..Cracker Leatham was also hit with a drug charge.  The Deputy noted that Leatham appeared to be under the influence of alcohol at the time of the arrest. The Deputy found that Cracker Leatham was in physical possession of under 20 grams of Marijuana.  Of course, Cracker Leatham offered the tried and true Cracker Defense, denying that the Marijuana was his and had no idea how it got in his pocket.

The Evil MaryJane has been the downfall of many a Cracker

If Sarkes was not so busy with Golf, Pickleball, Bike Riding, and other Florida activities, he would offer to represent Cracker Leatham in fight these charges in Court.   You see, Sarkes would ask the court to consider:  What is more egregious; Calling 911, while inebriated, for a Non Emergency, or Driving While Under the Influence.  Sarkes for sure would get a Not Guilty verdict.  This is a no brainer.  

Sarkeses Juris Prudence comes from watching Judge Judy for over 22 years

How A Cracker Spends Their Stimulus Checks

Executive Summary:

– The $1.9 Trillion Recovery/Stimulus Bill has passed Congress

– The Florida Cracker is Chomping to spend their $1,400

The Florida Cracker is typically low on the Socio Economic Food Chain.  While the Cracker has little savings, living Paycheck to Paycheck, the Cracker is happy spending their income on Booze, Drugs, Heat, and Bullets.  The Cracker lives a Happy Life.

All a Cracker needs is his Booze and Heat

After another night of Boozing and Target Practice, the Cracker woke up to the News (on Fox News or One America Network or NewsMax) that they soon would be receiving $1,400 for everyone in their household.  This caused a rush of Crackers running back to their trailers where they had previously left their wife and children, to get the maximum payout from the Government.

Nothing unites a Family like a $1,400 Stimulus Check per Person

So how does the Cracker spend their $1,400 per person Stimulus Check?  Well, no doubt, a small number of Crackers will donate to their Orange Messiah’s Super PAC – Save America.  

The Cracker will make small donations to STOP THE STEAL and to Save America!

But more likely, the Cracker will spend their Stimulus checks on buying Heat and Bullets.  Every time a Democrat is elected President, Great 2nd Amendment Mericans run to their Gun Shops to buy Heat and Bullets in bulk, fearful that a Democratic President will confiscate their Guns and Bullets. 

There is no better sales stimulus for Gun Shops than the election of a Democrat President

Personal Defense World (PDW) Magazine is ready to help the Cracker select the RIGHT Gun at the RIGHT Price to spend their Stimulus Check.  Each issue of PDW covers a variety of topics, including gun reviews, personal and home product reviews, and more.

PDW Magazine makes sure that Great Americans buy the RIGHT Heat for their individual needs

Shortly after the Congress approved the $1.9 Trillion Recovery Bill, PDW Magazine published the following guidance for how Great Mericans can spend their $1,400 Stimulus checks:

From PDW Magazine:

“Are you one of the lucky Americans receiving a $1,400 stimulus check courtesy of the Coronavirus outbreak? Can you think of a better way to spend the hard-earned tax money the government is giving back to you than using it to practice your Second Amendment rights? After all, buying a new gun would stimulate the economy and help both manufacturers and retailers, which is the overriding purpose of the stimulus program. At the same time, you might just use that gun to save your life or the lives of your family members if the nation’s social situation continues to spiral out of control. Buying a gun with your coronavirus stimulus check is your duty as an American!”

With his Stimulus Check, Sarkes will not need to call 911

So, as a service to Great Mericans looking to buy Heat with their $1,400 Stimulus Checks, PDW Magazine identified the Top 5 Handguns to buy with our Coronavirus Stimulus Checks:

The Springfield XD-M 

The Springfield XD-M Elite series pistols build on the success of earlier XD-M pistols, with a number of improvements. In fact, Springfield boasts that the 9mm Elite line “represents the pinnacle of performance in factory striker-fired pistols. One notable improvement is the Elite pistols are built around Springfield’s MET trigger. It sports a flat face, crisp break and integral overtravel stop. The Elite series is available in four different models from a full-sized pistol to a concealed-carry variant. MSRPs range from $559 to $709. 

The MET Trigger separates the Springfield XD-M from the rest

The SIG Sauer P320 RXP

The SIG Sauer P320 RXP series of pistols combines all the time-proven P320 features with the company’s SIG Romeo1Pro red-dot optic. All four models—Full Size, Compact, XFull and XCompact—are chambered in the popular, easy-to-find 9mm cartridge. The Romeo that comes mounted on the pistol is a time-proven 6-MOA reflex sight. It features 12 brightness settings and a 20,000-hour battery life. Depending on what model you choose, the P320 RXP comes out-of-the box-ready for competition, range, self-defense and even concealed carry. MSRP is around $800.

You can’t beat the PRO Red-Dot Optic, time proven on the SIG Sauer P320

The Smith & Wesson M&P M2.0

The Smith & Wesson M&P M2.0 pistol is the newest version in the popular, polymer-framed M&P line. You can get it chambered in 9mm, .40 S&W or .45 ACP. Featuring a lower barrel bore axis for reduced muzzle rise and faster follow-up shots, the M2.0 also has a greatly improved, crisper trigger with a lighter pull and audible reset. The striker-fired pistol is a great improvement over earlier M&Ps and comes at an MSRP of under $500, so those shopping with their stimulus check can afford two, plus some practice ammo.

Priced to sell, one can buy 2 Smith & Wesson M&P’s with our Stimulus Checks!

The Kimber K6S DASA

For revolver fans, don’t overlook the K6S DASA Combat. Kimber chambered the 4-inch-barreled, 6-shot revolver in .357 Mag. It takes the hugely popular K6s system and outfits it with a double- and single-action trigger mechanism. The platform has all the benefits of the original K6s, including its awesome double-action trigger pull, but with the added advantage of a single-action trigger. The new 4-inch model features an extended combat grip with finger grooves for better control and white-dot sights. MSRP is $890.

One never knows when they will need a Combat Handgun, the answer, the Kimber K6S

The Taurus G3

For those whose mortgage will eat up a large part of their stimulus kickback, check out the Tarus G3. The full-sized polymer-framed, striker-fired pistol is chambered in 9mm and has a capacity of 15+1 with available extended magazines. The G3 comes in a number of frame colors and both matte stainless and matte black slide finishes. The G3 even features an adjustable rear sight—a rarity on budget-priced handguns. MSRP is around $350.

The Cracker can buy a Taurus G3 and have money left over for Booze and Drugs

While PDW Magazine provides a definitive guide for Crackers on how to spend their $1,400 Stimulus checks, the word will need to spread word of mouth.  You see, the Cracker is also low on the Literacy Food Chain and will have troubles reading these great reviews in PDW Magazine.

Sarkes, motivated by the PDW Magazine Reviews, will use his Stimulus Check to buy some Heat

Young Florida Crackeretts Pose as Grannies

Executive Summary:

  • 2 Florida Crackeretts Pose As “Grannies” to get a 2nd COVID-19 Vaccine
  • Alas, their plot was Foiled

Two Florida Crackeretts disguised themselves as elderly grandmothers in an unsuccessful attempt to get their second doses of the COVID-19 vaccine.

In the Gunshine State, vaccines are worth more than Gold …. or a box of ammo

Dr. Raul Pino, the director of the Florida Department of Health in Orange County, said that the women were caught dressing up as “Grannies” with: “the bonnets, the gloves, the glasses, the whole thing”, at the vaccination site. Pino said he was not sure how the Fake Grannies had managed to get their first doses.

Dr. Pino is glad the Grannie Perps were caught, but can’t figure how they beat the system to get the 1st vaccine shot

The Orange County Sheriff’s Office stated that the Crackerett’s ages are 34 and 44. The Gunshine State is currently prioritizing vaccinations for adults 65 and older, health care personnel and long-term care facility residents and staff.

When not hopped up on booze or drugs, the Florida Cracker can be very resourceful 

How did the Faux Crackerette Grannies get caught?  The dates of birth on their driver’s licenses did not match those they had used to register for the vaccines, though their names did.  Health department personnel asked the deputies to issue trespass warnings.


See the video of the Faux Grannies caught red handed

When asked whether there have been other cases of people misrepresenting themselves to try to get vaccinated, Pino said there had been a few, including one man who shared the same name as his elderly father.  “As we are engaged in this process of trying to move people quickly, some people could squeeze in, so it’s probably higher than we suspect,” Pino said of the exact number.

And, noting that vaccines are “the hottest commodity,” Pino said officials have increased security around the site to prevent similar incidents from happening in the future.

Now this is what a Real Florida Grannie looks like

Mitch McConnell, A Sarkes Corner Quiz

Executive Summary:

– Mitch McConnell has been under fire recently

– Sarkes leverages McConnell’s celebrity for a Sarkes Corner Quiz

Mitch McConnell, aka, Moscow Mitch, has been on a Political Roller Coster ride since the Presidential Election.  “Many People Say” that Moscow Mitch might be having a Bi-Polar episode.  As an example, the Muscovite voted NOT GUILTY in the 2nd Impeachment Trial of the Orange Insurrectionist, and RIGHT after the Orange Victim was Completely Exonerated, he blamed the Orange Commandant for leading the MAGA Terrorists attack on the US Capital, calling for Criminal and Civil action against the Orange Litigant.

Moscow Mitch and the Orange Emperor were once Asshole Buddies
Now, there is no love lost now between Moscow Mitch and the Orange Casualty 

Sarkes and his crack Medical Bureau have determined the reason behind Moscow Mitch’s bizarre and Bi-Polar behavior.  You see, with the STEAL of the 2 Georgia Senate elections, Moscow Mitch is now the Senate MINORITY Leader.  It’s simple, any time you tell a Rich, Old, White Guy that he is a MINORITY, that causes extreme Stress, unparalleled Angst, unbearable Trauma, and tumultuous Anxiety, causing the bizarre behavior being exhibited now by Moscow Mitch.  

Moscow Mitch’s head is spinning out of control these days, Right, then Left, then Right, then …………

The Quiz:  A Moscow Mitch McConnell Look Alike Contest:   Which Celebrity most resembles Moscow Mitch McConnell:

1. Hoody Doody

Could The Doody and Mitch have the same DNA Profiles?

2. Alfred E. Neuman

Twins separated at Birth?

3. A Turtle

Different Species, Same Profile

4. The Cowardly Lion

Different Species, Both Cowards

So, who most resembles MINORITY Leader Moscow Mitch McConnell:

  1. Hoody Doody
  1. Alfred E. Neuman
  1. A Turtle
  1. The Cowardly Lion

Email your vote to Sarkes who will publish the results of this Survey.

Again, Don’t Blame Moscow Mitch, it’s hard being a MINORITY