Christmas Cookies

Executive Summary:

– Who doesn’t love Christmas Cookies?

– Florida woman makes her Christmas Cookies with Python Eggs

Sarkes has not published a Sarkes Corner for several weeks.  Sarkes had previously taken a Mental Health pause after the Presidential Election in November, and thought that he had recovered enough to lead the Staff of Sarkes Corner to publish the important, relevant, and high quality, Sarkes Corners that the Public has expected for years.

But Sarkes had a relapse, requiring an additional Mental Health pause

Alas, Sarkes had a relapse and had to take a second Mental Health pause.  You see, the Orange Victim continues to dominate the daily news cycle with claims of massive voter fraud, a stolen election, scores of challenges in Federal Courts, talk of Marshall Law, and, when the Do-Nothing Congress finally passed 2 significant pieces of legislation; Military Funding and Covid Relief/Government Funding, the Orange Victim has refused to sign.

The Orange POTUS will not sign 2 important pieces of legislation

With the expiration of Federal Aid, Sarkes had to give his Sarkes Corner Staff notice of possible Pink Slips if Federal Aid is not forthcoming.  The issuance of Pink Slips to the Crack Sarkes Corner staff caused Sarkes much angst.  

Sarkes relieved his angst by smashing a Tennis Racquet

But back on point.  Sarkes decided to publish a more positive Christmas story, and what better feel good story than one that is about Christmas Cookies.  Who doesn’t love Christmas Cookies?

Everyone loves beautiful, tasty, Christmas Cookies

Anyone can publish a feel good Christmas article about beautiful, tasty, Christmas Cookies.  But Sarkes, a Literary Genius, seeks the story that needs to be told, stories that you will not find on Page 1 of notable News Sources.  Here, Sarkes reports on how a Florida Woman makes her Christmas Cookies with Python Eggs.

Christmas Cookies made with Python Eggs have a unique taste

Sarkes provides a brief history of the Pythons found in the Florida Everglades.  The Burmese Python is not native to Florida.  Pythons are believed to have appeared in the Florida Everglades in the early 1980s, having been kept as pets and then released by frustrated owners who got tired of feeding them mice and other live meals. In the Everglades, the Pythons found perfect conditions; plenty of water in which to mate and abundant food. The Pythons in the Everglades have no natural predators, which has led to high reproduction rates. Female Pythons can lay up to 100 eggs a year, with each egg measuring up to 5 inches.

Eggs from the Florida Python are Uuuuuuuuuge!, Uuuuuuuuuuge!

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission have sponsored Python Hunts in the Everglades paying a bounty for each Python killed.  Donna Kalil is a veteran python hunter who just bagged snake number 470 since she joined the python elimination program.  

The Python can run but cannot hide from Hunter Donna Kalil

Donna Kalil is not only a proficient Python Hunter, she is also an award winning Python Chief.  Like all Great White Hunters in America, Kalil eats what she kills.  The Python is called the “chicken of the Glades”.  Kalil is known for making meals, snacks and even sweets from her bounty.  During this holiday season, Kalil has made; Python Jerky, Python Grits, Python Pasta, Python Sliders, and Christmas Cookies made with snake-yolk dough.  Kalil’s top cooking tip: “Don’t overcook python. It’s really tricky to get it right. It takes practice.”

Python meat tastes like Chicken, but is much, much, much, more

But one must proceed with caution.  You see, the Florida Everglades have high levels of Mercury which the Florida Python absorbs.  Kalil suggests that if one wants to cook and eat Python, to use a home testing kit to check mercury levels.

Nothing spoils a great batch of Christmas Cookies faster than Mercury poisoning.

Sarkes Declares the Election was RIGGED, STOLEN!

Executive Summary:

– Many States are certifying the final vote counts from the November Election

– Sarkes received just a fraction of the votes predicted

The Final vote count for the Presidential Election are in:

Joe Biden received 81,270,700 for 51.3%

Donald Trump received 74,216,308 for 46.9%

Sarkes received 17 votes for .00000001%

What!  How is this possible.  While Sarkes had not formally declared his bid for the Presidency, the staff of Sarkes Corner predicted that Sarkes would receive over 500 write in ballot votes. While Sarkes had no chance or winning the 2020 Presidential Election, he is concerned that many supporters of Sarkes for President did not have their ballots counted.

Everyone talks about Trump and Biden, but what about Sarkes??!!!

Sarkes was interviewed by the Sarkes Corner Political Bureau.  Normally, Sarkes is cool, calm, collected, reasonable, flexible, and a Stable Genius.  But uncharacteristically, Sarkes ranted and made the following incoherent, nonsensical  statements in regard to the results of the Presidential Election:

“This is a fraud on the American public.”

“Sarkes says, Count every vote.”

“This election is far from over.”

“Beginning Monday, the Sarkes Legal team will start prosecuting our case in court to ensure election laws are fully upheld and the rightful winner is seated,”

“The American People are entitled to an honest election: that means counting all legal ballots, and not counting any illegal ballots.”

“We all know why Joe Biden is rushing to falsely pose as the winner, and why his media allies are trying so hard to help him: they don’t want the truth to be exposed. The simple fact is this election is far from over.” 

“I will not rest until the American People have the honest vote count they deserve and that Democracy demands.”

“Highly suspect ballots were cast that amounted to absolute fraud.”

“Legal votes decide who is president, not the news media.”

“Obviously, Sarkes is not going to concede when at least 600,000 ballots are in question.” 

“This has a long way to go.”

“There has been massive fraud!”

“I think you’re dealing with a very fraudulent system. I’m very worried about that. Many People are very disappointed that we were robbed.”

“It’s gonna be a very hard thing to concede because we know there was massive fraud.”

“Sarkes demands that every legal vote be counted and every illegal vote be discarded!”

“Stop The Steal!!!!!”

Sarkes hopes that the Rigged Election system is fixed before the 2024 Presidential Election and supporters of Sarkes will have their votes counted.  In 2024, Sarkes will be 74 years old, which is rather young for a US President these days.  

If Sarkes monitors his Blood Sugar and keeps up his exercise regime, he should be in good shape to run for President in 2024