October 2020 – Sarkes Corner

Cracker Election Vandalism

October 30, 2020October 30, 2020 by Craig Korkoian

Executive Summary:

A Cracker drove through a Florida town in a Backhoe digging up Biden-Harris Campaign Signs
The Cracker then led police in an O.J. Simpson Slow Motion Chase thru town

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributors Jerry Katz and Cindy Mamelian for this head shaking story of Cracker Vandalism in Haines City, Florida.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. Crackers are usually, friendly, Salt of the Earth people………….UNTIL they get hopped up on Booze or Drugs. Once on Booze or Drugs, the Cracker transforms into a different person. Add Heat to that mix, and the results are often tragic.

Cracker James Blight was arrested in Haines City, FL, for stealing a Backhoe to dig up the yards and vandalize the homes of people displaying Joe Biden signs.

*Biden-Harris Campaign Signs were the target of this Cracker’s vicious attack*

Cracker James Blight, 26, was arrested and charged with Grand Theft Auto and Trespassing. Cracker Blight told police that he had been drinking whiskey all day and did not remember most of the day. Cracker Blight said that he couldn’t remember stealing the Backhoe or remembering damaging the Joe Biden signs. Cracker Blight also admitted that he did not know how to operate a Backhoe. Thankfully, Cracker Blight was not Packing Heat.

*Cracker Blight did a good job of operating this Backhoe with no training*

In addition, Cracker Blight took out a chain-link fence and a city-owned speed limit sign. Haines City Police Chief Jim Elensky said: “It’s absurd that a grown man could think he had the right to destroy someone else’s property based on a difference in political opinion. The fact that he was driving this heavy equipment, that he did not know how to operate, down busy roads could have been disastrous. We’re thankful that no one was hurt in this matter,”.

*Police Chief Jim Elensky is dismayed with Cracker Blights behavior*

Good Samaritan and Resident neighbor Cornelius Marion witnessed the vicious attack said: “He revved up the engine and rammed the fence. I saw the driver scooping up the yard and the Biden-Harris campaign sign. I thought something was wrong. I jumped into my truck and called 911 and followed him along, and the whole time he’s riding down the road, he’s yelling at people, cussing them out.”

*Cracker Blight defines the Orange Oligarch’s Base, and hates Democrats*

After his initial attack on Biden Campaign Signs, Cracker Blight then led Police on a slow-motion Backhoe chase across town similar to the famous slow-motion car O.J Simpson Bronco Car chase. Cars started backing up behind the slow moving Backhoe.

*Cracker Blight had them backed up like the OJ Slo Mo Bronco Car Chase*

But Cracker Blight was not done. As Cracker Blight passed by another lawn with multiple Biden-Harris campaign signs, he turned the Backhoe and dug more Signs and then hit the the Speed Limit Sign, knocking it down.

*Part of the Carnage done by the vicious attack by Cracker Blight*

Cracker Blight’s vicious attack on Biden Campaign Signs and City Property was done in a Black neighborhood. But, Cracker Blight IS NOT A RACIST, it’s just that Blacks vote predominantly for Democrats, DESPITE all that the Orange MLK has done for Blacks the past 4 years.

*The Orange Freedom Fighter has done more for Blacks than any President since Abe Lincoln*

Haines City Police were questioning Cracker Blight’s explanation of his behaviors stating: ”Blight claimed he was drunk, but if he was drunk, how could he steal and drive a tractor right up here to this area, that’s a predominantly Black area? Operating the backhoe like a normal person. Blight said that he accidentally ran into something, but no, you don’t deliberately dropped your front end loader at the other house and scoop up in their yard, so I don’t buy the drunkenness part.”

*Haines City Police are questioning Cracker Blights explanation, but they should know better as they deal with Drunk Crackers every day*

Sarkes is surprised that the Haines City Police are as naive as they seem. They should know the power of a Cracker hopped up on Booze and Drugs. It happens everyday in Florida. Inebriated Crackers have accomplished some amazing feats.

Yet Another Tragic Cracker Shooting

October 25, 2020 by Craig Korkoian

Executive Summary:

– Florida Cracker Shot His Twin Brother

– They were just Joking around

23-year-old Cracker Thomas Parkinson-Freeman, and his Twin brother Mathias, were sitting in a parked 1995 Nissan Pathfinder vehicle with another Cracker friend outside their home. Cracker Mathias pulled out a concealed handgun and pointed it at his Twin Brother Cracker Thomas. Cracker Thomas reacted by pulling out a handgun of his own, pointing it at his Twin brother. Cracker Thomas then pulled the trigger and Twin Brother Cracker Mathias was mortally wounded after being struck in the face.

*Cracker Thomas killed his Twin Brother Mathias in another tragic Cracker Heat incident*

*The Parkinson-Freeman Cracker abode, the scene of this tragic crime.*

Police reported: “The brothers talked and joking around just before the shooting, and there was no indication of any sort of conflict.” When he was arrested, Cracker Thomas was wearing a gun belt to show it off to the other Crackers.

*While rare, some Crackers proudly Pack their Heat in functional and fashionable gun belts*

Police concluded that Cracker Thomas was NOT acting in self-defense when he drew and fired his gun because he told detectives that he was not in fear, and that he did not believe Twin Brother Cracker Mathias had any intention of shooting him. As such, Florida’s Heat Friendly “Stand Your Ground” Law, made famous by the George Zimmerman killing of Trayvon Martin, did not apply.

*George Zimmerman made Florida’s Stand Your Ground Law an NRA Best Practice*

*The young Cracker Twins in a more innocent time*

Cracker Thomas claims that he was reacting based on Training. Training, Training, what Training?!! Are these Crackers Twins White Supremacists, far Right Neo-Fascists like The Proud Boys or other such groups? One of the side benefits of joining a White Supremacist group is access to top of the line Automatic Weapons and first class firearm Training.

*The Proud Boys; are Great Americans, Pack Automatic Heat, are Well Trained, and MAGA*

Cracker Thomas has been charged with manslaughter.

What can be said about this incident:

A Tragedy
Very Unfortunate
What a Waste
Truly Heartbreaking
Thinning The Herd

*The Proud Boys have been instructed by their Orange Commandant to Stand Back, Stand By*

Special Edition, The 2nd Presidential Debate

October 20, 2020October 20, 2020 by Craig Korkoian

Executive Summary:

– The 2nd Presidential Debate is scheduled for Thursday, October 22

– DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WATCHING THIS JUNK TV

The 2nd Presidential Debate between the Orange Stable Genus and Sleepy Joe Biden will air on Thursday, October 22. Sarkes warned you to NOT watch the 1st Debate but many of you disregarded Sarkeses Sage Advice and watched it any way. Shame on you. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE!!!!!

You should have listened to Sarkes, don’t screw up a second time

In an Award Winning Sarkes Corner posted on September 17, 2020 titled “Trump v Biden, The Presidential Debate” Sarkes predicted EXACTLY what would happen in the 1st Debate. Of course, Sarkes was 1,000 Percent Correct. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE!!!!!

Sarkes argues that NONE OF YOU are UNDECIDED, you know who will get your vote. Heck, many of you have already voted. So, why would you watch this garbage TV, WHY? If, for some reason, you like to watch a Train Wreck, or 2 Septuagenarian interrupting and talking over each other, or other tragic events, you can get your instant gratification:

-If you have already voted for Trump or will be voting for Trump, watch Fox News Fair and Balanced or America One Network on Friday Morning.

-If you have already voted for Biden or will be voting for Biden, watch CNN and MSNBC on Friday Morning.

Sarkes will be watching Re Runs of Judge Judy (the Cased are Real, the People are Real, the Rulings are Final). But, Sarkes understands that some of you may not like Judge Judy. So, watch Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Acorn, anything but this Stupid Debate.

FINAL WARNING – DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WATCHING THE 2ND DEBATE!!

*Ronald McDonald and Ronald McDonald Donald both give the now famous 2 Thumbs Up*

*Bozo the Clown and Bozo Joe Biden both Football Fans, give the Touchdown Signal*

The Nobel Prizes are RIGGED!

October 18, 2020October 18, 2020 by Craig Korkoian

Executive Summary:

The Orange Peace Keeper was NOT selected for the Nobel PEACE Prize
Sarkes was NOT selected for the Noble Prize for LITERATURE
The Nobel selection process is RIGGED!, RIGGED!
Is the Nobel selection process biased against People of Color?

The various Nobel Prizes were recently announced. FRONT RUNNERS in two Award categories, The Nobel Peace Prize (Donald J. Trump) and The Nobel Prize in Literature (Craig Sarkes Korkoian) were bypassed and less worthy Candidates were selected.

These gross decisions by the Nobel Committees are Fake News, Alternate Facts, Phony, a Failed Take Down, Witch Hunt, Charade, Hoax, Hit Job, a Thousand Stabs, Sham, Scam, Set Up, Treasonous, Brutal Assassination, Harassment, Lynching, Triple Hearsay, Crusade, and a Terrible Thing.

History will show that the Nobel Committees were wrong, and Donald J. Trump and Craig Sarkes Korkoian were 1,000 Percent worthy, Perfect, Perfecto, Did Nothing Wrong. Trump and Sarkes will be Completely Exonerated, Completely Vindicated, Case Closed.

The Nobel Peace Prize

The Norwegian Nobel Committee is responsible for the Nobel Peace Prize. This committee is both the working body and the deciding body for the Nobel Peace Prize. How could the Norwegian Nobel Committee turn on the Orange Aryan who is on record wanting fewer immigrants from “shit hole countries” and more from places like Norway, Norway!

*The Norwegian Nobel Committee is loaded with Old, White, Mostly Men with a few Token Women*

The 2020 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to The World Food Programme (WFP). WHAT?!! The World Food Programme is the food-assistance branch of the United Nations and the world’s largest humanitarian organization focused on hunger and food security. Founded in 1961, it is headquartered in Rome and has offices in 80 countries.

*Feeding the World’s Poor cannot compete with the Accomplishments of the Orange Profit*

Sure, the WFP has done good work, but how can they top the fact that our Orange Kissinger brokered Peace in the Middle East, something that NO US President has ever accomplished. Heck, not even our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ has been able to negotiate Peace in the Middle East.

*The Orange King of the Jews was so confident that he had tens of thousands of autographed photos made, suitable for framing*

Making matters worse is that The Norwegian Nobel Committee awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009 is to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. The Committee has attached special importance to Obama’s vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons.

*Rubbing Salt in the Orange Wound is the fact that Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize, Oh The Humanity!*

The Nobel Prize in Literature

The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences of the Swedish Academy is the body that selects the winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature.

*Like the Norwegian Nobel Committee, the Royal Swedish Academy is loaded with Old, White, Mostly Men with a few Token Women*

The 2020 Nobel Prize in Literature was awarded to Louise Elisabeth Glück, an American poet and essayist. WHO? Glück has won numerous major literary awards, including the Pulitzer Prize, National Humanities Medal, National Book Award, National Book Critics Circle Award, and the Bollingen Prize. From 2003 to 2004, she was Poet Laureate of the United States.

*Sure, Glück has an impressive resume, but she is NO SARKES*

Sarkes has been overlooked the past few years by the biased Royal Swedish Academy. Sarkes works tirelessly as a Fair and Balanced Journalist, a Truth Machine, serving Unbiased News to America as Editor in Chief of the fabled, award winning, Sarkes Corner.

*Sarkes works tirelessly under adverse conditions to meet the deadlines for Sarkes Corner*

So, BOTH Donald J. Trump AND Sarkes were spurned by the Nobel Committees. What do they have in common? …………. both are esteemed Americans AND Men of Color. Donald J. Trump (an Orange Man) and Sarkes (a Brown Man).

*The Orange Oracle and Sarkes are both Men of Color AND Fans of Stormy Daniels*

Sarkeses Source in the White House, LEAKER, sent Sarkes a transcript of an Emergency Meeting called by the Orange Maharajah in the aftermath of the Noble Prize announcements.

Mark Meadows – White House Chief of Staff: Steve, Bill, thanks for showing up at such short notice. The President is PISSED, and this is not Roid Rage from his Caronavirus Steroid treatments.

Steven Mnuchin – Treasury Secretary: Mark, what’s this all about? We have already cleared up the debacle of sending 1.4 Billion Dollars in Stimulus Recovery Checks to the Dead.

William Barr – Trump’s Personal Lawyer: I hope this doesn’t take too long, I need to get those indictments rolling against Hunter Biden and Slo Mo Joe Biden.

Donald J. Trump barges into the Conference Room 15 minutes late.

Donald J. Trump – President of the USA: What the F – – K!!!! Did you hear the news. I did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. The Sweeds or Norwegians gave the Peace Prize to some Food Bank, not even a person! What the F – – K is that all about. I bring Peace to the Middle East and what is my reward, NOTHING!!!!! Not only is the US Election RIGGED, but so is the Nobel Prize selections! These Nobel Committees are White like us, what the F – – K! Why did they turn on me!!!!!

Meadows, Mnuchin, and Barr in Unison: Unbelievable Boss, what a travesty, you should have won the Peace Prize. You are the best, most effective US President and better than any other President in the world. You brought Peace to the Middle East when no-one else could.

Donald J. Trump – President of the USA: Steve, I want ALL US Funding to the Nobel Committee stopped IMMEDIATELY, and, I want the US to pull out of the Nobel Prize Treaty. You got it!!!

Steven Mnuchin – Treasury Secretary: (whispering to Mark Meadows) We don’t Fund the Nobel Committees and we don’t have a Treaty with them. What the F – – K.

Mark Meadows – White House Chief of Staff: (whispering to Steve Mnuchin) Don’t worry Steve, just agree with him, he won’t remember anyway.

Steven Mnuchin – Treasury Secretary: Don’t worry Boss, consider it done. Funding for the Nobel Committees stops today. I can’t help with the Treaty, that’s Bill Barrs sand box.

William Barr – Trump’s Personal Lawyer: What, ah, …….. actually, that one is for Secretary of State Pompeo. I’ll get with Mike and we will get out of Treaty with the Nobel Committee today.

Donald J. Trump – President of the USA: Finally, I want a 25% Tariff against all Nordic Countries, that will teach those ungrateful Aryans. I thought they were one of us, what happened to them?

Steven Mnuchin – Treasury Secretary: Don’t worry Boss, consider it done. Tariffs start today.

Donald J. Trump – President of the USA: OK, that’s all, I need to get back to the Oval Office to listen to Rush Limbaugh and watch Fox News.

*Trump has assembled a World Class Cabinet and Staff, second to none*

Voter Fraud & A Rigged Election

October 13, 2020October 13, 2020 by Craig Korkoian

Executive Summary:

According to the Orange Supreme Leader, the November Election will be fraught with Voter Fraud initiated by the Deep State
Sarkes investigated the various ways that the Deep State is attempting to Rig the November Election, according to the Orange Chosen One
Will the November Presidential Election be Rigged?

The Orange Profit stated at a recent campaign rally: “The only way we’re going to lose this election is if the election is rigged.” Knowing that the Orange Exalted Leader has never lied to the American People, Sarkes investigated the various ways that the Deep State will Rig the November election, according to his Orange Royal Highness.

FAKE BALLOT BOXES:

A prosecutor in Michigan has flushed a complaint about a Toilet that was promoted as a place to drop absentee ballots. The election clerk in Ingham County informed police about a Toilet on the front lawn of a home in Mason, near Lansing, a home of a Registered Democrat. A sign said, “Place mail in ballots here.”

*Dozens of Mail Ballots from Conservatives were found deposited in this Ballot Box*

The Deep State understands that a large part of the Orange Monarchs Conservative Base are Uneducated, Underemployed, Lazy White Folk who aren’t too bright. The Deep State knew that these ignorant Conservatives would drop their Ballots in the Toilet Ballot Box. Then, the Deep State would burn the Ballots.

*Its a wonder that Trumps Base can even figure out how to fill out a Ballot*

CHILDREN STEALING BALLOTS FROM MAIL BOXES:

The Orange Eminence has proof that Poor Children, mostly Black and Hispanic have been trained by the Deep State to raid and steal Ballots from Mail Boxes in Rich, White, Republican neighborhoods. It is reported that, like a bounty, the Poor Children get $5.00 for each Conservative Ballot they steal and turn into the Deep State. $5.00 per is a fortune to a Poor Black or Hispanic child.

*No one thinks that small children would commit felonies so they go unnoticed*

DEAD VOTING:

The Dead have been voting since 1955 in Chicago, IL, first recruited by Democratic Chicago Mayor Richard Daley. So, the Deep State has benchmarked Mayor Daley’s Best Practice and are enabling the Dead to vote in all 50 states.

*Mayor Richard Daley never lost an election, and was backed by Unions and the Dead*

*The Deep State is not hiding the fact that they are getting the Dead to Vote*

The Deep State are banking that the Dead Voting would not be a big deal for the Republicans. You see, the Orange Treasury Department issued over 1.1 million Stimulus payments, totaling almost $1.4 Billion dollars, in Stimulus Checks to the Dead. So, Republicans are all in with engaging the Dead.

*Sarkes deceased mother, Alice, received her Stimulus Check over a year after she passed, thanks to the benevolent Orange Mortician*

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS VOTING:

The Orange Stable Genius claims that he DID NOT lose the Popular Vote in the 2016 Presidential, rather, over 5 million Illegal Mexicans were recruited by Hillary Clinton to vote illegally. While the Illegal Mexican vote did not impact the Electoral College, it did allow Hillary Clinton to win the Popular Vote by over 3 million voters, 3 million. Using the Hillary Clinton model, the Deep State has been quietly smuggling in millions of Illegal Mexicans to vote in November.

*Hillary Clinton won the Popular Vote by smuggling in over 5 million Illegal Mexicans*

*Despite the Big Beautiful Orange Wall, the Deep State is continually smuggling in Illegal Mexicans to vote in November*

DIVERTING BALLOTS FROM RICH TO POOR NEIGHBORHOODS:

The Orange Oligarch claims that he has evidence, from Postmaster General Louis Dejoy, that Mail Ballots are purposely being manipulated to be sent to Democratic areas and NOT Republican areas. Postmaster Louis DeJoy has only been in the Office since May 2020, but quickly found the the Deep State had infiltrated the United States Postal Service, bribing Postal Workers to deliver Mail Ballots to Poor Neighborhoods and to trash Ballots that were to go to Rich Neighborhoods.

*On the surface, Postmaster General DeJoy appears to be a Moron, but he sniffed out the Mail Ballot Scam*

*Mail Ballots are being delivered to Poor Neighborhoods, but not to Rich Neighborhoods*

MAIL BALLOTS ARE BEING PRINTED IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES:

The Orange Potentate also has evidence that Millions, that’s Millions, of Mail In Ballots are being Printed in Foreign Countries. On the surface, the ignorant and uniformed would wonder what difference does it make where a Ballot is printed. Contrare Mon Fare, The Deep State has identified Foreign Countries that have Printing Presses that have the ability to Print Ballots that have a special coating. On the Ballot, if a Voter selects a Republican, the Foreign Ballot will fade out that vote and replace with a vote for a Democrat.

*Millions, Millions of Rigged Ballots are being printed in Foreign Countries.*

What Countries are Printing these tainted, rigged, Ballots? The Orange Oracle has stated that: “It could be Russia, but it could also be China, could be India, it could also be lots of other countries, it also could be somebody that weighs 400 pounds, sitting on their couch, in the Basement of their Mothers home with a Printing Press.” His Orange Excellency continued: “The printing of Mail Ballots in Foreign Countries will be the Scandal of our Times!”.

There you have it. While Sarkes, a Fair and Balanced Journalist, never jumps to conclusions before investigating a story, must admit that he had some doubt that the charges of Voter Fraud by the Orange General Secretary was at best Political Hooey or at least out right lies.

*The Orange Cynic does not Trust the Deep State, but also does not Trust Melania to vote for him*

Sarkes stands corrected, it’s clear that the Deep State has come up with many strange and innovative ways to steal the November Election from the Orange El Jefe. Who would have thought.

So, if Biden wins the November Presidential Election, the Election was Rigged. But, if the Orange Czar wins??????

*Sarkes would have bet a Dunkin Donut coffee that the Orange Latte was making up the charges of Voter Fraud. Wow, Sarkes was wrong.*

The Fly?

October 8, 2020October 8, 2020 by Craig Korkoian

Executive Summary:

During the Vice Presidential Debate Last Night, a Fly landed on the head of VP Pence
Was this really a Fly? Hmmmmm

*How did a Fly get into this Controlled Environment?*

Let the record show that Sarkes DID NOT watch the Vice Presidential Debate last night, but had a gaggle of Sarkes Corner reporters assigned to watch and report. Sarkes pays his reporters so they have no say in their assignments. On the other hand, Sarkes has choices, and decided to watch re-runs of Judge Judy instead of wasting time on watching the Debate. Judge Judy, the Cases are Real, the People are Real, the Rulings are Final.

*Judge Judy says that Losers choose to watch Political Debates instead of watching her dish out justice.*

During the Debate last night, the Vice Presidential candidates were in a serious moment when a Black Bug, which looked like a Fly, landed on Mike Pence’s thick, stark white hair. Most viewers’ attention then turned to the Fly, which rested in Pence’s hair for over 2 minutes, then flew away.

*How could a Fly stay stuck in Pence’s Hair for 2 minutes, Brylcreem?*

While on the surface, this might seemed like an innocent, humorous moment, it turns out that it was much much more.

Sarkes has an Informant in the Trump / Pence Campaign Office, LEAKER. Sarkes is fortunate that LEAKER is one of the few Trump / Pence Campaign Office Staffers WITHOUT having tested Positive for the Caronavirus.

*LEAKER does not have the Caronavirus like the rest of Trump’s staff …………. yet*

LEAKER called Sarkes with startling, Breaking News. LEAKER reported that the Secret Service has determined that the Black object stuck in Pence’s White Hair WAS NOT a Fly, rather it was a Mini Micro Drone!

*Great Tech companies like Boeing are able to miniaturize Drones, obviously, some as small as a FLY*

LEAKER told Sarkes that the Secret Service determined that the Mini Micro Drone was not stuck in Pence’s thick White Brylcreem laden hair, rather the Mini Micro Drone was injecting a foreign substance into the VP. LEAKER told Sarkes that this explains why Pence continued to babble nonsense long after his time was up on the Debate Clock.

*Pence is not to be blamed for his long winded babbling, he was drugged*

LEAKER then told Sarkes that the Secret Service wanted to take VP Pence to Walter Reed hospital, but was overridden by the Orange Physician who was quoted: “Only Panty Wastes and Girly Boys go to a hospital. I can’t believe that I let my Failed Medical Staff talk me into going to Walter Reed. That won’t happen again, and for sure I won’t let Pence go and further embarrass me.”