A Sarkes Corner Survey and Results

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes conducted a Survey to assess the publics response to sending Missouri and Florida K-12 Children back to School during the Caronavirus Pandemic
  • Specifically, the public was asked about Florida Gov DeSantis, Missouri Gov Parsons and Education Secretary DeVos

This Sarkes Corner Survey was constructed using the tightest Statistical techniques.  While it has been proven that Sarkes can make an accurate inference with just one data point, this Sarkes Corner Survey had DOUBLE the standard sample size required by Statisticians world-wide.  As such, the Margin of Error for this Sarkes Corner Survey was 1%, unheard of in todays polling and surveys.

Sarkes crunches the numbers for the Sarkes Corner Survey

Responses to the Sarkes Corner Survey were controlled tighter than DOD Classified Data, and protected by Firewalls that protected the data from; the Russians, the Ukrainians, the Chinese, or a 400 pound  hacker living in his mothers basement.  Survey responses were generated by email, phone calls, and personal interviews. 

Uber Firewalls protect Sarkes Corner Survey data from 400 Lb Hackers living in their mothers basement

Originally, Sarkes wanted to use Mail-In Surveys.  This approach was NOT used after Sarkes learned that the Orange Jumpsuit had provided evidence that Liberals had commissioned Children to Steal Ballots from the Mailboxes of Conservatives.  Since the integrity of the Sarkes Corner Survey was paramount, no Mail-In surreys were used. 

Sarkes cancelled Mail Ballots due to Children, commissioned by Liberals, were caught stealing Ballots from Conservatives Mail Boxes

The Survey:

The topic of the Sarkes Corner Survey was the sending of our K-12 children back to schools during the Caronavirus Pandemic.  On this topic:

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said:  ”I’m confident if you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, we absolutely can do the schools.  My kids aren’t school-age yet, I got a 3-year-old daughter, 2-year-old son, and a newborn daughter. And I can tell you if they were school-age, I would have zero concern sending them.”

If the 3 DeSantis children were school age, they would go to school in Florida

Missouri Governor Mike Parsons said: “These kids have got to get back to school.  They’re at the lowest risk possible. And if they do get COVID-19, which they will — and they will when they go to school — they’re not going to the hospitals. They’re not going to have to sit in doctor’s offices. They’re going to go home and they’re going to get over it.” 

Parsons is confident that Missouri children can “get over it”

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos said:  “There’s nothing in the data that suggests that kids being in school is in any way dangerous.  More and more studies show that kids are actually stoppers of the disease and they don’t get it and transmit it themselves, so we should be in a posture of – the default should be getting back to school kids in person, in the classroom.”

The Orange Sniffer checks out Devos’s Ta Tas, DeVos, an Expert on Kids and Education, knows that Kids “are actually stoppers of the disease”

The Sarkes Corner Survey

Who is the biggest Moron, Buffon, Dolt, Dotard, Nincompoop, Oaf, Imbecile?  (Select ONE of the options below):

A. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

B.  Missouri Governor Mike Parsons

C.  Education Secretary Betsy DeVos

D. DeSantis, Parsons and DeVos are equally Moronic

E.  None if the above, it’s Obama’s Fault, it’s always Obama’s Fault

Before conducting the Sarkes Corner Survey, Sarkes and the Sarkes Corner Analysts, had predicted that the final results of the Sarkes Corner Survey would follow Political Party Lines.  I.E., Liberal Democrats would reply that Florida Governor DeSantis, Missouri Governor Parsons, and Education Secretary DeVos were all Morons.  And, Conservative Republicans would reply that It was Obama’s Fault, it’s always Obama’s Fault.  The Wild Card was Independents.  Sarkes and Staff could not predict how Independents would reply to the Sarkes Corner Survey.

The Results of the Sarkes Corner Survey:

Who is the biggest Moron, Buffon, Dolt, Dotard, Nincompoop, Oaf, Imbecile? 

A. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis = 3%

B.  Missouri Governor Mike Parsons = 2%

C.  Education Secretary DeVos = 4%

D. DeSantis, Parsons and DeVos are equally Moronic = 51%

E.  None of the above, it’s Obama’s Fault, it’s always Obama’s Fault = 40%

The People have spoken, DeSantis, Parsons and DeVos are Morons
After close to 4 years out of Office, its still Obamas Fault

Sarkes Corner Survey Results Analysis:

Well, the People have spoken.  Sarkes and the Sarkes Corner staff were surprised on how the results of the Sarkes Corner Survey mirror the current Polls that show Sleepy Joe Biden with a Uuuuuuge lead over the Orange Stable Genius.  Hmmmmm, interesting.  

WARNING WARNING WARNING, Sarkes warns all to review the result of the Sarkes Corner Survey with caution.  After all, in 2016, Crooked Hillary held a 15 point lead over the Orange Kind of the Jews but lost the election in November, even with 5 million illegal Mexicans voting for her.  

Hillary lost the election even with the 5 million votes by illegal Mexicans imported by Democrats

So what is the Sarkes Takeaway based on the Sarkes Corner Survey results AND the results of the 2016 President Election:  By November, it might be proven that DeSantis, Parson and DeVos are  NOT Morons, that it’s still Obamas Fault, and the Orange Magician will pull out another Orange Rabbit out of his Orange Hat and win the 2020 Presidential Election.

The 4 Frijoles in a Goya Can say “Kids Must Go Back To School In The Fall”

Don’t be surprised if the Orange Magician pulls out an Orange Rabbit out of his Hat, and wins in November
This Survey was exhausting for Sarkes, time to Chill out and wait until November