Walmart, Home Depot, and Florida K-12 Schools

Executive Summary:

– Florida Governor Ron DeSantis says fully opening K – 12 schools is like shopping at Walmart or Home Depot

– Sarkes misses former Florida Governor, now Florida US Senator, Tricky Ricky Scott

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Correspondent Cheryl Katz for this amazing story out of the Gunshine State.

Florida Governor Ron DUHSantis is an Orange Emperor loyalist.  DUHSantis is consistent as he always walks Lock Goose Step with our Orange Excellency.  Recently, the Orange Educator declared that all K-12 schools will open in the Fall or he would withhold funding to the school district that don’t.

Governor DUHSantis and the Orange Messiah are two peas in a pod

Always ahead of the Orange curve, DUHSantis declared that Florida Schools would open in the Fall.  Using scientific data, DUHSantis said:  ”I’m confident if you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, we absolutely can do the schools.”  Um, huh, aaaah, uh oh, he said what?

DUHSantis is a graduate of Yale and Harvard Law School, but many people don’t know that DUHSantis is smart enough to have been a medical doctor.  DUHSantis continued saying: “the risk posed by COVID-19 is much lower for children than for older people”

According to Gov DUHSantis, if you can do Walmart you can go to K-12 schools in Florida
According to Gov DUHSantis, if you can do Home Depot you can go to K-12 schools in Florida
According to Gov DUHSantis, if you can do K-12 schools in Florida you can go to Walmart or Home Depot

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, is this DUHSantis nuts, how can he compare going to Walmart to buy groceries or to Home Depot to buy Hardware to sitting in a crowded classroom for 8 hours!!!!!?  

Sarkes, Fair and Balanced, a Truth Machine, had not been in a classroom since graduating from Missouri Science & Technology in 1975 and Maryville University in 1989, maybe DUHSantis was Right.   As such, Sarkes tasked the Staff of Sarkes Corner to do in-depth, investigative reporting on this issue.  Governor DUHSantis could be Right, Sarkes asked: “if you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, maybe you can do schools?”.

The last time Sarkes was in school, he sported a stylish Hair Do and Side Burns at MO S&T in the early 1970’s
Sarkes was confident in his masculinity at MO S&T and had no issues wearing a dress
Sarkes was always in Deep Thought as an Engineering Student at MO S&T, solving complex equations and Engineering challenges 

Well, the Investigative Reporters of Sarkes Corner reported back to Sarkes with disturbing news.  The young Sarkes Corner reporters told Sarkes:  “If you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DO SCHOOLS”.  

The young Sarkes Corner reporters then asked Editor In Chief Sarkes if they could Investigate whether DUHSantis is suffering from Covid-19 as that could be the only explanation for his asinine comparisons.  Sarkes, worried about the health of his young reporters, DID NOT give them permission to determine if DUHSantis was, in fact, delirious from Covid-19.  

Sarkes WILL NOT sponsor a Witch Hunt to determine if DUHSantis is suffering from Covid-19

The Florida Governor for 8 years before DUHSantis was Tricky Ricky Scott.  Sarkes always wondered how the good Citizens of the Gunshine State, both Crackers and SnowBirds, could have elected a Crook into the top job in the 3rd largest state of our Union.  Recall that Tricky Ricky Scott was the CEO of Columbia/HCA, a Health Care organization that were found to have committed 1.7 BILLION, (BILLION) dollars in Medicare Fraud under his Leadership.

Columbia/HCA committed the Largest Medicare Fraud in History, History!

Under oath, Tricky Ricky Scott invoked the 5th Amendment 75 times, 75, as the Government was investigating this Uuuuuge Medicare Fraud.  Tricky Ricky also claimed that, as CEO, he was unaware of the Fraudulent Acts committed by his employees.  Columbia/HCA agreed to repay the Government 881 MILLION, (MILLION) dollars to settle the case.  Shortly after, Tricky Ricky Scott was given the Old Heave Ho from Columbia/HCA. 

Sarkes did not worry about the future of Tricky Ricky Scott.  He received a Golden Parachute from Columbia/HCA of over 10 MILLION, (MILLION), enough to hold him over until he decided to run for Governor of the Gunshine State.

CEO Tricky Ricky Scott was unaware that his company was committing record Medicare Fraud

Again, Sarkes was no Fan of the Crook Tricky Ricky Scott……..until Hurricane Irma in 1997.  Irma devastated Florida.  During this tragic time, Tricky Ricky Scott exhibited strong Leadership.  He made quick, science based decisions on when to evacuate, he reached out to other states and the Federal Government to provide manpower and resources to take care of those impacted by Irma, and, he kept everyone informed with daily, short, fact based, updates.  

Tricky Ricky Scott may be a Crook, but his Leadership during Irma was outstanding and must be recognized

So Sarkes reaches out to Tricky Ricky Scott, currently the junior Senator from Florida, no, Sarkes Begs and Pleads to the Trickster; COME BACK TO FLORIDA, FAST, and take DUHSantis under your wing.  Tell him what he needs to do to help the good citizens of Florida make it thru this pandemic.  Going to Walmart, Home Depot, as the reason to open our Grade Schools is nuts. 

Tricky Ricky Scott may be a Crook, but he is far from being a Moron