– Sarkes, the Executive Editor of Sarkes Corner is tired of stories about Caronavirus, Trump, etc.
– Sarkes tasked the Staff of Sarkes Corner to get back to the Basics
Sarkes has been bothered for some time that the daily news cycle is focused on Caronavirus, his Orange Majesty, Statues of Losing Generals, etc. Sarkes called an Emergency Staff Meeting of the Sarkes Corner staff and tasked them to get back to the Basics with stories that has made Sarkes Corner Award Winning media. An animated Sarkes shouted to the Staff; “Where are the stories about Crackers, George Zimmerman, Packing Heat, Judge Judy? Lets get back to our Core Competency!!!”
The Sarkes Corner Staff responded immediately with two stories that are Sarkes Corner Worthy:
A Florida Woman Sues for the Paternity of her Goats
A Florida woman has filed a lawsuit seeking either a paternity test on her goats or a refund. Kris Hedstrom filed the suit against her neighbor, Heather Dayner, last month seeking DNA for the goats she purchased. Hedstrom paid Dayner $900 for five Nigerian Dwarf Goats.
What’s so special about Nigerian Dwarf Goats? Nigerian Dwarf Goat milk is 6 to 10 percent higher in butterfat and higher in protein than milk from most dairy goat breeds. These Goats make great pets, do not make much noise, and take up little space.
According to the lawsuit, Hedstrom believed the goats — Bella, Gigi, Rosie, Zelda and Margoat — could be registered with the American Dairy Goat Association, a group that records goat pedigrees. Registered goats have higher values than unregistered goats. The American Dairy Goat Association is dedicated to promote the Dairy Goat industry, maintaining and publishing herd books and production records of milk goats; and issuing certificates of registration and recordation.
Dayner, who has been selling goats at Baxter Lane Farm for about 10 years, typically provides information to her clients so they can register their animals themselves. She said the father goat was registered, but the American Dairy Goat Association rejected Hedstrom’s application to register the 5 babies because Dayner is not an active member. Proving paternity would require about 40 of the father goat’s hair follicles for a DNA test.
Sausage, Onion, and Iguana Pizza
Only in Florida, the Sunshine State, can one get an Iguana Pizza. State Food Inspectors found an 80-pound iguana stashed in the refrigerator at a local pizza joint, Pizza Mambo, in West Palm Beach. Pizza Mambo was forced to close for a day following the inspection by the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation.
A Pizza Mambo employee said that the Iguana was given as a personal gift to the owner and was not used as a pizza topping. Yeah, right. The employee said that the Iguana was stored in a separate freezer away from the restaurant’s food.
Iguanas are multiplying so rapidly in South Florida that a state wildlife agency has been encouraging people to kill them. Iguanas aren’t dangerous or aggressive to humans, but they damage seawalls, sidewalks, landscape foliage and can dig lengthy tunnels. The reptile is considered a delicacy.
Just like you cannot find any Cats around Chinese Restaurants, there is not an Iguana to be found around Pizza Mambo.
Sarkes is proud of the Sarkes Corner Staff. Any newsroom today can report on the Caronavirus, the Orange Emperor, Statues, etc, but it takes a special staff like the staff of Sarkes Corner to deliver the news that meets the standards of Sarkes Corner.