June 2020 – Sarkes Corner

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes brings to light the struggles of Orange Americans

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER: Sarkes and the staff of Sarkes Corner support the Back Lives Matter Movement and nothing in this Sarkes Corner should be misconstrued as anything different. DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER:

While the current news cycle is focused on the death of George Floyd, and rightfully so, Sarkes is compelled to educate America on the plight of Americas smallest, disenfranchised Minority – Orange Americans.

According to the US Census Bureau, the racial make up of America is:

White – 61%

Brown – 18%

Black – 13%

Yellow – 6%

Red – 1%

Orange – Less than 1/2 of 1%

Orange Americans are the Forgotten Minority. Americans are not born Orange, rather they become Orange over time. Usually, Orange Americans start turning Orange in their teen years.

“Many People Say” that Americans turn Orange thru the use of self tanning spray products. Self tanning spray products are intended to turn White people Brown, but often turn White People Orange. Or so, that is what “Many People Say”.

*Self Tanning Products can turn White Americans Orange*

Sarkes has a source inside the CDC (Center of Disease Control) in Atlanta, GA, code name CDC Leaker. CDC Leaker will remain anonymous as he/she provided Sarkes Classified data on what turns White people Orange.

*The CDC knows what turns White People Orange*

A review of the Classified Data provided by CDC Leaker reveals that the primary cause of turning White People Orange is LED LIGHTS, yes, LED LIGHTS. “Many People Said” that President Donald J. Trump was delirious when he blamed LED Lights for his Orange Hue. Turns out that President Donald J. Trump was RIGHT.

*President Donald J. Trump turned Orange with the LED Lights in the White House.*

*LED Lights have an adverse impact on some White Americans*

Further review of the Classified CDC documents revealed that the use of LED Lights, now in almost every home and business in America, was a conspiracy of the Liberal Climate Change Scientists. The Liberal Climate Change Scientists are responsible for the demise of the Incandescent light bulb, which cannot be found in any store in America today.

*Liberal Climate Change Scientists are responsible for the Genocide of the Incandescent Light Bulb*

*The Incandescent Light Bulb NEVER turned White Americans Orange*

Even more disturbing in the review of the Classified documents is what the CDC has identified as the Side Effects of LED Lights on the skin of some White People. These Side Effects HAVE NEVER been released to Americans.

The CDC has documented that extended exposure to LED Lights not only can make White American Oranges, but has the following devastating side effects:

Habitual Lying

Narcissistic Behavior

Excess Weight Gain

Craving For Red Meat

Bone Spurs

*LED Lights can make White Women Orange*

*LED Lights, in rare cases, can make White Infants Orange*

So, what can be done to help the forgotten, disenfranchised Orange Americans? Sarkes asks all subscribers to Sarkes Corner to email, call, write their Congressperson and Senators and demand that they enact legislation to bring back the Incandescent Light Bulb. This could happen fast as the plight of Orange Americans should be a bi-partisan issue. LED Lights impact White Republicans the same as White Democrats.

Also Americans should demand that Congress ask President Trumps Personal Attorney, Bill Barr, to open an investigation into the CDC as to why they have kept the damaging data on the Side Effects of LED Lights from innocent Americans.

*President Trumps Personal Attorney Bill Barr will get to the bottom of this LED Lights Conspiracy*

Until Congress acts, Sarkes asks all Americans to have compassion with Orange Americans. The Orange American did not know that they would be adversely impacted by LED Lights. Sarkes reminds all that Americans did not understand the adverse impact of Second Hand Smoke until Americans were diagnosed with Lung disease having never smoked.

*Americans did not understand the negative impact of 2nd Hand Smoke*

*Despite the impact of LED Lights, President Trump has been the most effective President in our History*

Orange Lives Matter

Executive Summary:

– The Caronavirus has created a demand for Bicycle Sales

– The Caronavirus has created a demand for Gun Sales

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and Sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about Caronavirus and the Gun Industry. Full disclosure, sister Cindy is a Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, American.

While the Caronavirus has had a devastating impact on our economy and American industries, not so for Bicycle Sales. Americans looking for something to do safely outdoors have turned to riding bicycles. Many Americans have not ridden a bicycle since their youth, and like Toilet Paper, have emptied Bicycle Stores of their bicycle inventories.

*Bicycles, like Toilet Paper, are now in short supply*

The same has happened with Gun Sales in Bright Red States, especially Florida, the Gunshine State, and Missouri, the Shoot Me State. During the 8 years of the Obama Presidency, Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing Americans ran Gun Shops out of Ammo and Heat believing that Obama was going to confiscate their Ammo and Heat. God Bless the NRA from stopping Obama from taking our Heat and Ammo. Like the Late, Great, Heat Packing American Charlton Heston famously said: “I”ll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead, hands”. God Bless you Charlton, God Bless you.

*Obama wanted to take Heat and Ammo from Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans*

*Charlton Heston, a Real Mans Man, was a Great American and an inspiration to all Heat Packing Americans*

With the election of the Orange Rifleman in 2016, and unexpected consequence was a drastic reduction in Gun Sales and Ammo. Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans were no longer fearful that the Government would confiscate their Heat and Ammo. Some Heat manufactures filed for Bankruptcy and a number of Gun Shops were forced to close.

*Who would have though that the election of the Orange Lugar would have a negative impact on Gun Sales*

A silver lining in today’s Caronavirus world is an exponential increase in Gun Sales, especially a spike in first-time Heat buyers. What has driven the resurrection of Heat Sales – concern over civil unrest because of what coronavirus is doing to the economy has led more people to buy guns. And, God Fearing, Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans want to protect their homes from the Hoard of Rioters in the wake of the George Floyd killing by Minneapolis Police.

*God Fearing, Proud, 2nd Amendment, Americans are buying Heat to protect their homes from the Rioting Hoards*

In the Gunshine State, Government DuhSantis closed non-essential businesses like movie theaters, bars, restaurants, movie theaters, but allowed essential business like WWE Wresting and Gun Shops to remain open.

*Governor DuhSantis declared that WWE Wresting and Gun Shops were Essential businesses*

A day after DuhSantis’s stay at home order, Orlando Gun Shop, “Shoot Straight”, found more than 20 people waiting in line outside the business before its 11 a.m. opening. Their sales have exploded, pun intended, everyday since.

*Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Floridians waited in line to buy Heat and Ammo*

This movement is not unique to the Gunshine State, Gun Shops across the country are reportedly seeing increased sales, prompted by people beefing up their home defenses over concerns coronavirus could cause problems with society.

What are these Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing Americans purchasing? Popular purchases include handguns and pump-action shotguns.

*The Pump-Action Shot Gun is the Weapon of choice to protect one’s home from Caronavirus-crazed Home Invaders*

*While not as effective as the Shot Gun, a handgun is portable and easy to use*

Americans have been Packing Heat to protect themselves since the First, Original, Rioting Hoards – The Boston Tea Party.

*Disenfranchised White Folk Packing Heat rioted in what we now call the Boston Tea Party*

Sarkes understands that his conversion to a Reagan-Trumpian Conservative will not be complete until he Packs Heat. Sarkes is struggling in this area. In order to make progress to Pack Heat, Sarkes has made a poster of motivational mantras to remind him of all of the benefits of becoming a Heat Packing Conservative:

“Guns don’t kill People, People kill People”

“If there were Armed Guards patrolling our Schools the results would be far better”

“The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”

“The Mass Murders with Semi Automatic Weapons are just the Price of our Freedom”

God Bless the Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans. The Caravan of Rioting Hoards will not breach their homes. God Bless America.