The Lake of the Ozarks

Executive Summary:

  • The Lake of the Ozarks is a wonderful place for resorts, water sports, and weekend chalets 
  • The Lake of the Ozarks is the background for the Netflix Hit Show “Ozarks”

– The Lake of the Ozarks draws Stupid Americans like a magnet

Thanks to Sarkes Correspondent and Sister Cindy Mamelian and daughter Cathy Korkoian for this story about the Jewel of Missouri, the Lake of the Ozarks.  

The Lake of the Ozarks was formed with the construction of Bagnell Dam on the Osage River in the heart of Missouri.  Construction started on the dam in 1929 and was completed in 1931. The resulting reservoir, the Lake of the Ozarks, has a surface area of 55,000 acres, over 1,150 miles of shoreline, and stretches 94 miles from end to end. At the time of construction, it was one of the largest man-made lakes in the world and the largest in the United States.  Bagnell Dam was built with the purpose of Hydroelectric generation.  

Bagnall Dam created the Lake of the Ozarks in 1931
The Lake of the Ozarks is a popular water sport, weekend destination

Florida, the Gunshine State, has a Bi-Modal Population Distribution, Crackers and Rich Old White Retired Snowbirds.  Likewise, Missouri, The Shoot Me State, has a Bi-Modal Population Distribution,  Redneck/Hillbillies and Rich White People (young and old), from St. Louis and Kansas City.

The Lake of the Ozarks is the setting for the popular Netflix show Ozarks.  Ozarks is the story of 2 families, the Byrds (Rich White People) and the Langmores (Ozark Hillbillies).

The Byrds, Rich White Folk, had a difficult time adjusting from life in Chicago to life in the Ozarks
The Langmores are typical Ozark natives, content with their beer and single wide Trailers

When Sarkes was growing up in Missouri, then called the Show Me State, the  state was an important Purple Swing state.  Now, the Shoot Me State is Bright Red, with all state-wide and national offices held by God-fearing, Great American, Conservative Republicans.  The transition started when George Bush 2 flushed out the Evangelical Christians as a powerful voting block, and finished with the University of Missouri, Mizzou, entering the SEC Athletic Conference in 2012.  

The Shoot Me States transition form Purple to Red had some predictable consequences.  One is the fact that the good citizens of the Shoot Me State will not let the Government tell them what to do.  The citizens of the Shoot Me State have the Constitutional Right to be Stupid.

And, Stupid they were on Memorial Day Weekend.  After the Orange Potentate called for the LIBERATION of States to Open Up, Missouri Governor Mike Parson opened up the Shoot Me State on May 4, rolling out the “Show Me Strong Recovery Plan”.

Some pictures of how the LIBERATION “Show Me Strong Recovery Plan” looks at the Lake of the Ozarks follow.  These pictures were taken at a Pool Party at a popular watering hole, Backwater Jacks Bar & Grill in Osage Beach.

This is Social Distancing…….Missouri Style
Missourians are Booze Hounds and won’t let the Government tell them what to do

Yes, the Good Citizens of the Shoot Me State have a Constitutional Right to be Stupid, and there is ample evidence that they take that Right Seriously.  Sarkes will avoid his home state for a while.

Sarkeses Op Ed to Donald J. Trump

Executive Summary:

  • A Sarkes Op Ed to Donald J. Trump will be published next Sunday
  • Major Conservative and Liberal Media Outlets will publish the Sarkes Op Ed

Sarkes has written an Op Ed to Donald J. Trump which will soon be published in both Conservative Media (Fox News, One America News Network, etc), and Liberal Media (Washington Post, New York Times, MSNBC, etc), along with Independent Media like Sarkes Corner Fair & Balanced.

Sarkes provides the Op Ed to subscribers of Sarkes Corner in advance before it is published in the other Media next Sunday.

The Sarkes Op Ed to Donald J. Trump – May 24, 2020:

To:  Donald J. Trump

Sarkes would like to recognize your work in defeating the Covid-19 Virus that has plagued America.  History will show that you are the Greatest War-Time President in our history, the greatest.  As  result of your Strong Leadership,  the United States is open for business, and in record time, far ahead of all other nations in the world.   Americans can now go to Church, Bars, Restaurants, Barbers/Salons, the Beach, etc without fear of contracting Covid-19.  

The Orange Commander-In-Chief is our Greatest War-Time President, despite painful Bone Spurs

Despite the “sky is falling” crying by American Scientists and Physicians, you convinced Americans to use Hydroxychloroquine, Lysol Disinfectant Injections, and Internal Laser treatments,  resulting in American deaths being limited to only 100,000.  Without your strong Leadership, American deaths might have surpassed a Quarter Million or more!  These numbers are a tribute and a “Badge of Honor”.

Hydroxychloroquine, Lysol Disinfectant Injections, and Internal Laser treatments have saved many American lives

You have always said that you know more than all of the Generals, Scientists, and Physicians, and that Only You Can Fix This.  While some in America may have questioned these claims, your Leadership in defeating Covid-19 proves that you are right, Only You Could Fixed This, and you did.  Thank You.

The Orange Stable Genius knows more than Dr. Fauci and Dr. Scarf Lady

Now that the war against Covid-19 is over and America is open again for business, Sarkes asks that you now shift your attention to stop the Hostage situation that has been ongoing for close to a year, that is, the BOEING HOSTAGES BEING HELD BY THE FAA.

Sarkes asks that you go to the Orville Wright Federal Building, 800 Independence Avenue SW, Washington D.C (The Swamp).  This is the Headquarter of the FAA where 50,000 Angry Democrats are holding Boeing and the 737Max airplane Hostage. 

The FAA Headquarters in The Swamp where the Boeing and the 737Max is being held Hostage

There is probably no bigger Bureaucracy in The Swamp than the FAA.  The FAA will NOT Certify the 737Max even after Boeing has made and tested several changes to software and hardware to get those planes flying again.  It is time for your intervention.  Like in the war against Covid-19, Only You Can Fix This.

The Boeing 737Max is a high quality airplane being held Hostage by the FAA

Boeing is Americas largest Exporter by dollars,  Americas largest Aerospace Company, and Americas leader in both Commercial and Military / Space programs.  Boeing is a company with over 160,000 employees, all with high paying jobs and great insurance.  Boeing employees do not need ObamaCare which you have been trying to eliminate since your inauguration. 

If Boeing continues to be held hostage by the FAA,  150,000 employees may need to apply for ObamaCare

So, Donald J. Trump, it is up to you to go to the FAA and insist that the 50,000 Angry Democrats at the FAA RELEASE THEIR BOEING HOSTAGES, NOW!

Sarkes is proud to wear his 737Max Bicycle Jersey in support of the Boeing Hostages being held by the FAA

Caronavirus Crimes

Executive Summary:

– The Caronavirus is bringing out the worse in Americans

– Caronavirus related Crime is on the rise

Sarkes, a Constitutional Scholar, is on record that our Constitution gives all Americans Rights un-paralleled anywhere else in the world………including the Right to be Stupid.

The Great American Philosopher George Carlin said it best about Americans

One such stupid American is Gloricia Woody from Oklahoma City, OK.  Woody had entered a McDonalds restaurant despite the dining area being closed because of coronavirus restrictions.  The McDonalds Drive-Thru was open but Woody was too hungry to wait in the line.

Goricia Woody, craving a Big Mac and not wanting to wait in the Drive-Thru line, is heading to the Hoosegow

When employees asked Woody to leave, she refused and got into a scuffle with the employees. Employees eventually forced Woody outside, but she re-entered the restaurant with a handgun and fired three rounds.  One McDonalds worker was shot in the arm, two others were struck by shrapnel, and a fourth worker suffered a head injury.  The injuries were not life threatening.

Lines are long at McDonalds Drive-Thru these days as customer need their tasty Big Macs and Fillet-O-Fish

The incident is one of a number reported across the country that authorities said were related to restrictions put in place to combat the spread of the coronavirus. 

In Michigan, a Security Guard at a Family Dollar Store in Flint, MI, was tragically fatally shot after arguing with a customer who did not want to wear a face mask in the store, a mandate in place by Michigan for all retail stores.  Ramonyea Bishop, 23, and his stepfather, Larry Teague, 44, have been charged with first-degree murder.

Retail Stores in Michigan require customers to wear Face Masks
Bishop and Tucker are heading to the Hoosegow charged with Murder

In Southern California, a customer wore a Ku Klux Klan Hood during a trip to the grocery store – – – and repeatedly ignored staff requests to remove it.   The incident took place at a Vons Super Market in San Diego one day after health officials in the county ordered residents to wear face coverings in public to stymie the spread of Covid-19.

This Great American wore his KKK Hood to comply with Government Mask requirements

When asked at a recent 2 hour Caronavirus Press Conference at the White about these 3 Caronavirus incidents, his Orange Majesty said:

“I am not responsible for these acts of crime.  I don’t take responsibility at all.  These crimes were caused by a set of circumstances and rules, regulations and specifications from Obama, he is to blame.” 

“Now listen, the guy in the KKK hood should have found another mask, but there are very fine people on both sides”

“They should throw the book at those 2 Black Guys that killed the Security Guard in Michigan, they are animals.  I told my personal lawyer, William Barr, not to call that woman in Michigan (Governor Gretchen Witmer), she is useless.”

“If they convict the woman in the McDonalds shooting I will have my personal Lawyer William Barr issue her a Pardon.  America depends on McDonalds to provide tasty Big Macs, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, Fillet-O-Fish, Fries, Cokes and Shakes.  If McDonalds does not get their act together, I will order the Defense Production Act on McDonalds.”

Like the Orange Eminence always says: “Its Obamas Fault”
The Orange Carnivore prefers McDonalds Big Macs over Fillet-O-Fish 
The Orange Messiahs personal lawyer, William Barr, is very busy these days

Economic Impact Payments

Executive Summary:

-Economic Impact Payment Checks were issued to Americans, Dead or Alive

In this time of the year when Pulitzer Prizes are awarded, Sarkes, Editor of Sarkes Corner, had really believed that he would receive a Pulitzer for his investigative reporting that resulted in the declaration that Donald J. Trump is really a Liberal Democrat in Reagan-Conservative clothing.   

Sarkes based his inference on one data point, that is, that his Deceased mother, Alice Korkoian, had received a $1,200.00 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT – DONALD J. TRUMP. Liberal Democrats have a history of allowing the Deceased to Vote and receive Government Checks long after they have made their Celestial Exit. This is proof positive that Donald J. Trump is really a Liberal in Reagan-Conservative Clothing.

The Orange Liberal-in-Reagan-Conservative Clothing knowingly issued Tens of Thousands ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT Checks to the Deceased, like this one issued to Alice Korkoian, as the checks were addressed to the Deceased (note the DECD next to the addressee name)

It turns out that Tens of Thousands of $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT checks were issued to Deceased Americans. The Orange U.S. Treasury, realizing that they may have made a mistake, then asked that the $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT checks be VOIDED and returned to the Treasury.

Since no postage was provided, the Deceased realized a loss of $1,200.55.

The Orange Indian-Giver Flipped asked the Deceased Americans to VOID the checks and return to the Treasury

The Deceased were required to mail back the Voided Checks at a cost of 55 cents for 1st Class postage

The Orange Treasury has learned their lesson. On more recent $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT checks issued, the Orange Treasury has a box on the front of the envelope that states: If Recipient is Deceased check here and drop in Mail Box. This even with the $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT check enclosed was addressed to Deceased!!!

This Economic Impact Payment Check, issued to Sarkeses deceased Aunt Rosalie, had the new Return Box, saving Sarkeses Cousin Dorthy 55 cents

God Bless the Orange Philanthropist, he was only trying to help all Americans, Dead or Alive.

Come Back With a Warrant

Executive Summary:

– The Florida Cracker has many unique characteristics

– Humor is one of those characteristics

Drugs were found at a Cracker home in Palm Coast, FL.  That in itself is common in a Cracker home.  But what made this a unique story is that a  welcome mat at the front door read “come back with a warrant” — and that’s just what deputies did, finding drugs, including fentanyl, and drug paraphernalia inside. 

The Crackers in this home sent a strong Challenge to law enforcement

Fentanyl is 50 times stronger than Heroin and 100 times stronger than Morphine.  In 2018, the DEA stated that as little as two milligrams of Fentanyl would be a lethal dose for most people.

Crackers are ever increasingly migrating from Crack Cocaine to Fentanyl

“This poison peddler had a doormat that said, ‘Come back with a warrant,’ so we did,” Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly said. “Our detectives did a great job in following up on tips received on this residence. We still have some follow-up work to do, but for now the deadly drugs and syringes seized are off the streets.”

Sheriff Staly was just following the instructions on the Door Mat

Investigators say there were four Crackers inside and one Cracker child.  The Florida Department of Children and Families were contacted and took possession of the child. 

Young Crackers are so innocent but often go bad in their teens