Essential Businesses in Florida

Executive Summary:

– Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis, is trying to make life easy for Floridians

– Some of the  list of “Essential” businesses are unique to Florida

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributors and brothers Don and Dave Schepers for sending this story about some unique “Essential” businesses in Florida.  Both Schepers brothers are residents of Missouri, so it is understandable that they might be confused.

Sarkes has been called a hypocrite for his Florida-bashing all the while taking advantage of life in a gated Golf Course community.  The harsh truth is that Florida has two distinct populations.  The first, like Sarkes, live in gated, Golf Course Communities, most are transplants from “up north”.  The second, are native Floridians, salt of the earth, many of which are Crackers.  These two distinct Floridian populations don’t usually mix, but co-exist, crossing paths at Publix, CVS, etc. 

Sarkes is a Truth Machine and cannot make this stuff up

Sarkes, a Truth Machine, only reports, you decide.  Do not shoot the messenger.  

Like most States, Florida has published a list of “Essential” businesses that can stay open during the Stay-at-Home Coronavirus Protocols.  Logical businesses that are considered “Essential” in Florida include; Pharmacies, Grocery Stores, Gas Stations, Hardware Stores, Banks, Health Clinics, etc.  

But Florida has some unique “Essential” businesses that makes a non-Floridian scratch their heads. This list includes:

Pool Service Providers:  These essential businesses keep our swimming pools clean, balanced and safe.  While most all “public” pools are closed, the swimming pools in our Florida homes are essential to provide owners a place to cool off, water aerobics, rest and relaxation, essential for both the physical and mental health of Floridians.

Sarkes and Son David relaxing in the Korkoian Pool
Water Aerobics are one way to stay in shape during the Caronavirus sequestration 

Churches and Synagogues:  In most states, large assemblies of people have been prohibited.  Gathering of more than 10 people is the rule.  The same rule is in place Florida, EXCEPT for Churches and Synagogues.  Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said he believes churches and synagogues are serving an important role.  Defying any common sense in these pandemic times, Governor DeSantis has cow-towed to the Religious Right, allowing them to assemble as usual.  DeSantis said: “I think that the government has the authority to close the church. I’m certainly not going to do that.  In times like this I think what churches are doing is very important.”  What, huh, um, he did what?

Gov DeSantis is letting large congregations assemble to Praise The Lord, Amen

Alcohol Stores:  In these trying times, the Floridian needs the comfort of their beer, wine, or hard liquor.  Being cooped up with ones spouse and children 24/7 can cause stress and angst that can often be mitigated with a good stiff drink.  Both Floridian populations; the Gated Communities and the Salt of the Earth native Floridians, have one thing in common – they love their Booze. 

Floridian Booze Hounds need their hooch to get thru these stressful times

Fire Arms Stores:  Florida, the “Gunshine State” is the Benchmark state for the NRA.  The “Gunshine State” has issued over 2 Milion, Million, with an M, Concealed Carry Permits.  It is estimated that more than 2 Million Floridians are Packing Concealed Heat without a Permit.  Given the strong, NRA-bred, Gun culture in Florida, it is no surprise that Gun Shops are considered “Essential” businesses.  Florida Gun shops are experiencing record sales rivaling the Gun sales of Heat and Ammo during the Obama years.  

Fire Arms and Ammo are flying off the shelves in Florida Gun Shops

WWE Wrestling:  But probably the most bizarre Florida “Essential” Business is the WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment.   Not initially been deemed essential, the wrestling operation was subsequently deemed an essential business.  WWE is produced from a studio in Orlando.  When asked how WWE could be an “Essential” Business, Governor DeSantis said:  “As a brand that has been woven into the fabric of society, WWE and its Superstars bring families together and deliver a sense of hope, determination and perseverance.”  What, huh, um, he said what?

The WWE is wholesome entertainment and brings families together all across America
Sarkes prefers watching Judge Judy over the WWE

Sarkes has been recognized by the Statistical Academia community for being able to make an inference with just one data point.  Here, Sarkes has multiple data points.  While being sequestered with the Stay-at-Home Coronavirus protocols, Floridians can go out in public to buy Booze, Guns, and Ammo.  Sarkes infers that this is a formula for disaster.  

A Cooped up, Booze Hound, Floridian who packs Heat is a formula for disaster 

Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis is an Orange Oracle Stooge and NRA Lemming.  With the strong Leadership of Governor DeSantis, Floridians can; worship our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ next to thousands of their neighbors, and watch WWE Wrestling in the comfort of their homes with the knowledge that they are safe Packing Heat all while drinking their favorite Hooch.

Ron DeSantis is an Orange Oligarch Puppet