Cracker Hide-and-Go-Seek Gone Bad

Executive Summary:

  • A Florida woman is accused of zipping her boyfriend in suitcase while playing Hide-and-Go-Seek
  • Tragically, the boyfriend was left in the suitcase and died

Sarkes thanks Washington DC Sarkes Corner Contributor Cheryl Katz and St. Louis Sarkes Corner Contributor Dr. Chuckie Kofron for this sad story of a Cracker passing.  

Until the time that Sarkes and Chris moved to Florida in 2009, Sarkeses family and friends had never heard about the booze / drug antics of the Florida Cracker.  To this day, many subscribers of Sarkes Corner charge that Sarkes makes up these stories about the Florida Cracker to win a Pulitzer Prize.

Sarkes is a Truth Machine, and Sarkes Corner is a Fair & Balanced publication

WARNING, WARNING, WARNING – This Sarkes corner contains a graphic and uncomfortable cell phone transcript WARNING, WARNING, WARNING

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never ceases to amaze.  When not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, the Florida Cracker is a friendly species, Salt of the Earth if you will.  But:  A Cracker + Booze and/or Drugs = A formula for Disaster.  

Crackerette Sarah Boone, 42, of Winter Park, faces a charge of second-degree murder in the death of Jorge Torres Jr.  Crackerette Boone said she was playing a game of Hide-and-Go-Seek with Cracker Torres when she zipped him into a suitcase thinking it would be fun. 

Who would have thought that a man could fit into a suitcase, go figure

Hmmm, it has been over 50 years, 50!, since Sarkes has played Hide-and-Go-Seek, but Sarkes does not remember Hide-and-Go-Seek being played like these Crackers.  Sarkes and his childhood friends would hide behind trees, furniture, etc.  Cracker Hide-and-Go-Seek obviously has a different set of rules, with alcohol and/or drugs as a critical element. 

Cracker Hide-and-Go-Seek is a much different game than the kids version

During the playing of Cracker Hide-and-Go-Seek, Crackerette Boone went upstairs and passed out, obviously forgetting that Cracker Torres was still in the suitcase.  Crackerette Boone finally woke up to her cellphone ringing.  Crackerette Boone then realized Cracker Torres was still in the suitcase where she found him unresponsive.  Sober enough to use her cell phone, Crackerette Boone called 911.  Emergency responders came to the home and confirmed that Cracker Torres had died.  Tragic

Sadly, Paramedics could not help Cracker Torres

During the investigation, the Sheriff’s office said Cracker Boone’s statements were “inconsistent” with Cellphone Footage.  Cell Phone Footage, huh, um, ah, what.  Obviously, Cracker Hide-and-Go-Seek involves taping the event on a Cell Phone.  huh,um, ah, what.  

On the Cell Phone Tape, Cracker Torres can be heard screaming for help in the suitcase while Crackerette Boone chides him.  Also, Cracker Torres can be heard asking for help, to which Crackerette Boone replies, “For everything you’ve done to me, f— you!”

Cracker Torres continued: ”I can’t f—ing breathe, seriously,”   Crackerette Boone replied:  ”Yeah, that’s what you do when you choke me, that’s what I feel like when you cheat on me,”  As Cracker Torres continued to plea, Crackerette Torres shouted:  “shut the f— up,”

Sarah Boone, under the influence of alcohol, is one angry Crackerette

It doesn’t take a Statistician or Mathematics Professor to solve this Equation:,  A Cracker + Booze and/or Drugs = A formula for Disaster. 

Cracker Hide-and-Go-Seek resulted in Crackerette Boone heading to the Hoosegow