- A Woman Sees Donald Trump In Her Vegan Butter
- This is an Orange Apparition
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Religious Bureau Chief and Sister Cindy Mamelian for documenting this Orange Apparition.
Sarkes is not a Catholic so before reporting this story Sarkes had no idea what was an Apparition. An Apparition is a Supernatural image of a person. Most Apparitions are images of Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ or Mary. Apparitions are one time events.
The Catholic Church has a formal process for validating and documenting Apparitions and Apparitions have been documented for Centuries mostly in Europe and South America.
A St. Louis woman, Jan Castellano, was getting ready to have some breakfast when she almost lost her lunch. She opened a tub of Earth Balance Organic Spread with plans to put the vegan butter on her toast. Lowly and Beholy, Castellano stopped short when she saw an image of the Orange Potentate looking right back at her in the tub of Spread.
Castellano said: “It wasn’t necessarily appetizing, but it was entertaining.
This was pretty much before I had coffee, so I was easily amused. I needed to put on my glasses to make sure it was him.”
Castellano, obviously a Liberal, continued: “I wasn’t thrilled to see The Donald, mainly because he is everywhere these days. I thought about saving the Trump-enhanced spread and sell it on eBay, and donate the money to Elizabeth Warren.” Alas, short-term hunger won out over long-term wealth and Castellano ate the Butter after taking a picture as proof.
Sarkes Corner reporters interviewed Archbishop Robert Carlson of the St. Louis Diocese and asked if the Catholic Church would approve the Trump image in the Earth Balance Organic Spread as a Miracle or Apparition. Archbishop Carlson said that the Catholic Church could not investigate this Apparition as the evidence has been destroyed and there was only one witness, Castellano.
After informed about the Earth Balance Organic Spread, the Orange Diocesan Tweeted:
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 4:56AM
I am disappointed that the Failed Catholic Church would not approve my image in the Butter. Everyone knows that I am the Chosen One, the Second Coming of God.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 5:23AM
The Catholic Church should have investigated the Butter. I am the healthiest President in History so I don’t eat Butter, but I have no doubt that my image was in the Butter. It was a miracle and the Catholic Church needs to step up. The lack of action by the Catholic Church is a Sham, Charade, Crusade, a Terrible Thing.
Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 5:47AM
I am confident that my Evangelical friends will classify my image in the butter as a Miracle. I am the King of the Jews and should be recognized accordingly. The Evangelicals are truly religious, not phony like other denominations.