Month: January 2020

Executive Summary:

• A recent cold snap in South Florida cased the death of hundreds of Iguanas
• What happened to these dead Iguanas?

A cold snap in South Florida caused Iguanas to literally fall from the trees in which they reside.  Since iguanas are cold-blooded reptiles, they can become immobile in temperatures 40 degrees and colder.  At this temperature, the Iguanas are not dead, but they do fall out their trees.  In temperatures lower than 40 degrees, South Floridians should avoid walking under trees.  

Most often, the “frozen” Iguana will wake up as the temperature rises.  But sometime the fall will kill the Iguana.  What happens to this Iguana Road Kill?  Does anyone eat Iguana Meat?  The short answer is YES.

Eating iguana meat is nothing new. In fact, it’s a common delicacy in Mexico, Central and South America, and in trendy U.S. restaurants that cater to anyone craving a lizard entree.  Iguanas can range from 9 pounds to 30 pounds and can grow to over 3 feet long. 

guana gourmets in the U.S. are sometimes immigrants from other countries looking for a taste of home. Other times, they’re just red-blooded Americans looking for something new.  Dr. William Kern, University of Florida, explains:  “Iguana has been called the Chicken of the Trees”. 

Dr. Kern, continues:  ”People have been eating iguanas since at least 10,000 years ago, when humans reached the New World tropics. It was a readily available, not-too-dangerous food source. It’s always been part of the diet”.

Iguana meat is high protein and low fat.  Iguana is a tasty meat alternative for Tacos, Burritos, Curries, Soups, Stews, and Gumbo according to the University of Florida Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences. The meat is thick, so it’s often boiled for long periods of time to soften it up.  Dr. Kern clarifies:  ”When Iguana is cooked, it’s almost a white meat, like you might see with chicken or grouper. It’s a mild-flavored meat — milder than alligator.”  

Executive Summary:

• A Florida Lawmaker wants kids to have a recovery day after Halloween Trick or Treating
• She wants what?

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and Florida neighbor Georgie Taylor for this story from the Florida Legislature.

Florida State Senator Annette Taddeo, Dem-Miami, has proposed declaring the day after Halloween, November 1, an official public school holiday to give kids a chance to recover from Trick or Treating. 

Senator Taddeo says she filed Bill 1462 at the request of students and parents.  A student-driven petition had collected more than 300,000 signatures from Miami-Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach counties. 300,000 signatures!

Senator Taddeo explained:  “As a parent, I totally get it, the children need a day of rest after a night of feasting on chocolate and other sweets”.  The day after Halloween holiday would apply to K – 12 students.

Halloween is rooted in All Hallows Eve, the beginning of a three day observance to remember the dead, including saints and martyrs.   But Halloween has evolved into a day where children dress in costumes to collect candy from neighbors, teens play pranks on adults, and adults can relive their childhood and eat candy collected by their kids.

As usual, Sarkes did and in-depth investigation on kids and Halloween:

Children in Catholic schools have always gotten the day after Halloween off from school as a religious holiday, All Saints Day.  As such, they can eat mass quantities of candy on Halloween and recover the next day.

Instead of a Florida Bill for school holiday the day after Halloween, Senator Taddeo should consider a bill outlawing the distribution of Candy on Halloween.  American Children do not need a day off after Halloween, they need to eat more vegetables. 

No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.  Only in America, only in America.

Executive Summary:

• Lenny Harding has connected some Disturbing Dots
• The Animal Kingdom is planning to overthrow Mankind 

As you know, Sarkes, a renowned Statistician, can Connect Dots where most don’t even see the Dots.  Well, Sarkeses friend and Special Sarkes Corner Contributor, Lenny Harding, has Connected some Dots in the Animal Kingdom.  Sarkes must admit, he did not see these Dots.

Lenny Harding is a descendent of our 29th President, Warren Harding.  Republican Warren Harding was President from 1921 until his death in 1923 from Heart issues.  Like most Presidents, Warren Harding was a Sniffer.  Harding was also known for the Teapot Dome scandal.  Harding is often rated as one of our worst presidents.  But Sarkes knows Lenny Harding, and Lenny is no Warren Harding.

Thought exhaustive journalistic investigation, Lenny Harding has connected Dots to conclude that the Animal Kingdom is in the early stages of rebellion against Humans and have a Master Plan to lower Humans to the Bottom of the Food Chain.  Lenny presents the following Dots:

Dot 1:  Rhino Poacher Killed by Elephant and Eaten by Lions: 

A man suspected of being a rhino poacher was killed last week by an elephant and his remains devoured by a pride of lions at a South African park.  

Rangers at Kruger National Park found only a human skull and a pair of pants.   Four of the dead man’s accomplices were arrested.  The man’s accomplices said that they had been in the park to poach rhinos when he was attacked and killed by an elephant.

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Dot 2: New Jersey residents say Wild Turkeys are attacking community:

A gaggle of 40 to 60 wild turkeys have been aggressively terrorizing residents in a 55-and-up community in Ocean County daily.  Holiday City residents say the turkeys are blocking doorways, pecking at cars and behaving aggressively when they are shooed away.

The wild turkeys weigh between 16 and 24 pounds and run up to 20 miles per hour.  The township has received dozens of complaints but says it’s animal control is powerless in capturing or stopping the birds since they are not licensed to trap wildlife.

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Dot 3: Chimps are killing people in Uganda:

Chimpanzees are attacking people in Uganda, part of a disturbing trend going on in the country that has led to crop loss and even death.

National Geographic reports that the problem has been going on for several years starting in 2014 when a chimp fatally attack a 2-year-old child, stealing the baby from his mother.

Villagers have built a bamboo fence around their backyards to prevent the chimps from getting in but the fence was no match for the chimps, who kept returning.   Three deaths have been reported and six additional injuries or escapes have occurred as a result of the Chimpanzee attacks.

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Dot 4: Feral hogs in Texas attacked and killed a woman:

A Texas woman was found dead after pre-dawn attack by a group of feral hogs.  Christine Rollins, a 59-year old caregiver to an elderly couple in Anahuac, failed to show up at her normal time on Sunday and the  homeowner found her lying in the front yard between her car and the house.

It appears that multiple hogs assaulted Rollins when she arrived at work.  lt

was determined Rollins was attacked by different hogs because of the various size of the bites on her body.  Mature feral hogs can weigh between 100 and 400 pounds.

The Dots have been connected by Lenny Harding and it is clear that the Animal Kingdom is planning a Coup de Ta against Mankind.

An angry President Trump Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 11 @ 4:23 AM

Thanks to that Great American and Republican Lenny Harding for connecting the Dots and making America aware of this imminent attack against mankind.  Only I can stop the attack of Wild Animals against our People.  I will stop these Wild Animals like I stopped the Hoards of Mexican Rapist, Gangsters, Druggies and Muslims who were Invading America.