An Orange Miracle

Executive Summary:

  • A Woman Sees Donald Trump In Her Vegan Butter
  • This is an Orange Apparition

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Religious Bureau Chief and Sister Cindy Mamelian for documenting this Orange Apparition. 

Sarkes is not a Catholic so before reporting this story Sarkes had no idea what was an Apparition.  An Apparition is a Supernatural image of a person.  Most Apparitions are images of Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ or Mary.  Apparitions are one time events.

Jesus can show up anywhere, here in a Tasty Flatbread

The Catholic Church has a formal process for validating and documenting Apparitions and Apparitions have been documented for Centuries mostly in Europe and South America. 

The Catholic Church is big on Miracles and Apparitions

A St. Louis woman, Jan Castellano,  was getting ready to have some breakfast when she almost lost her lunch. She opened a tub of Earth Balance Organic Spread with plans to put the vegan butter on her toast.  Lowly and Beholy, Castellano stopped short when she saw an image of the Orange Potentate looking right back at her in the tub of Spread.

Earth Balance Organic Spread is a Healthy option to Butter

Castellano said: “It wasn’t necessarily appetizing, but it was entertaining.

This was pretty much before I had coffee, so I was easily amused.  I needed to put on my glasses to make sure it was him.”

Jan Castellano did not expect to see the Orange Profit in her Earth Balance Organic Spread

Castellano, obviously a Liberal, continued:  “I wasn’t thrilled to see The Donald, mainly because he is everywhere these days.  I thought about saving the Trump-enhanced spread and sell it on eBay, and donate the money to Elizabeth Warren.”  Alas, short-term hunger won out over long-term wealth and Castellano ate the Butter after taking a picture as proof.  

An image of the Orange Excellency in butter is frightening to a Liberal
This is Not Fake News, the Orange Eminence’s image is in the Spread

Sarkes Corner reporters interviewed Archbishop Robert Carlson of the St. Louis Diocese and asked if the Catholic Church would approve the Trump image in the Earth Balance Organic Spread as a Miracle or Apparition. Archbishop Carlson said that the Catholic Church could not investigate this Apparition as the evidence has been destroyed and there was only one witness, Castellano.

Archbishop Carlson will not approve the Orange Image as a Miracle

After informed about the Earth Balance Organic Spread, the Orange Diocesan Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 4:56AM 

I am disappointed that the Failed Catholic Church would not approve my image in the Butter.  Everyone knows that I am the Chosen One, the Second Coming of God.  

The Orange Chosen One is a devout Christian, just ask him

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 5:23AM 

The Catholic Church should have investigated the Butter.  I am the healthiest President in History so I don’t eat Butter, but I have no doubt that my image was in the Butter.  It was a miracle and the Catholic Church needs to step up.  The lack of action by the Catholic Church is a Sham, Charade, Crusade, a Terrible Thing.

The Orange Disciple is the most religious President in our History

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – January 19 @ 5:47AM 

I am confident that my Evangelical friends will classify my image in the butter as a Miracle.  I am the King of the Jews and should be recognized accordingly.  The Evangelicals are truly religious, not phony like other denominations.  

The Evangelicals will recognize The Orange King of the Jews

Another Cracker Shooting

Executive Summary:

  • Florida Cracker, playing “cowboy”, shoots himself in leg
  • He did what, huh, mmmmmmmm

Thanks to sister and Sarkes Corner Florida Bureau contributor, Cindy Mamelian, for another story about a Florida Cracker with a gun.

36-year-old Matthew Noffsinger Jr. accidentally shot himself in the leg while “Playing Cowboy”.  Sarkes has never seen a Floridian “Play Cowboy”.   Based on what Sarkes has seen on Movies, “Playing Cowboy” must include riding horses and shooting guns.  

One must have a horse and gun to Play Cowboy

You see, in Sarkeses gated Golf Course community, the only thing that the Rich, Old, White guys ride are Golf Carts, and the only thing that they are shooting is Golf.

Rich, Old, White Floridians love their Golf and riding Golf Carts

Initially, Cracker Noffsinger lied about the incident because, as a Felon, he’s not supposed to own a gun.  Cracker Noffsinger told the police that he was in the woods when somebody shot him.  The Cracker was an innocent victim.

A Florida Cracker, when painted into a corner, defaults to lying 

Police questioned Cracker Noffsinger about why he had an entrance and exit wound straight down his leg.  That’s when Cracker Noffsinger admitted that he was “playing cowboy” with a .22 revolver when he accidentally shot himself.

The Florida Cracker likes the feel of the .22 caliber revolver

Cracker Noffsinger stated that he lied because he’s a convicted felon and he’s not supposed to be in possession of a gun.  To make matters worse, a wallet containing four credit cards and an ID that didn’t belong to Cracker Noffsinger were found in his backpack.  Of course, Cracker Noffsinger told police that he just found those items. 

Cracker Noffsinger is in the Hoosegow as he could not make Bail.  No surprise there. 

The Animal Kingdom Revolts

Executive Summary:

  • Lenny Harding has connected some Disturbing Dots
  • The Animal Kingdom is planning to overthrow Mankind 

As you know, Sarkes, a renowned Statistician, can Connect Dots where most don’t even see the Dots.  Well, Sarkeses friend and Special Sarkes Corner Contributor, Lenny Harding, has Connected some Dots in the Animal Kingdom.  Sarkes must admit, he did not see these Dots.

Lenny Harding is a descendent of our 29th President, Warren Harding.  Republican Warren Harding was President from 1921 until his death in 1923 from Heart issues.  Like most Presidents, Warren Harding was a Sniffer.  Harding was also known for the Teapot Dome scandal.  Harding is often rated as one of our worst presidents.  But Sarkes knows Lenny Harding, and Lenny is no Warren Harding.

GOP President Warren Harding was corrupt and rated as our worst President

Lenny Harding is a descendent of Warren Harding but is nothing like his ancestor  

Thought exhaustive journalistic investigation, Lenny Harding has connected Dots to conclude that the Animal Kingdom is in the early stages of rebellion against Humans and have a Master Plan to lower Humans to the Bottom of the Food Chain.  Lenny presents the following Dots:

Dot 1:  Rhino Poacher Killed by Elephant and Eaten by Lions: 

A man suspected of being a rhino poacher was killed last week by an elephant and his remains devoured by a pride of lions at a South African park.  

Rangers at Kruger National Park found only a human skull and a pair of pants.   Four of the dead man’s accomplices were arrested.  The man’s accomplices said that they had been in the park to poach rhinos when he was attacked and killed by an elephant.

Elephants usually win any close combat with Humans
A Pride of Hungry Lions will eat anything

——————————————————————————————————-

Dot 2: New Jersey residents say Wild Turkeys are attacking community:

A gaggle of 40 to 60 wild turkeys have been aggressively terrorizing residents in a 55-and-up community in Ocean County daily.  Holiday City residents say the turkeys are blocking doorways, pecking at cars and behaving aggressively when they are shooed away.

The wild turkeys weigh between 16 and 24 pounds and run up to 20 miles per hour.  The township has received dozens of complaints but says it’s animal control is powerless in capturing or stopping the birds since they are not licensed to trap wildlife.

Turkeys are better when served at Thanksgiving with all the Fixings

—————————————————————————————————————

Dot 3: Chimps are killing people in Uganda:

Chimpanzees are attacking people in Uganda, part of a disturbing trend going on in the country that has led to crop loss and even death.

National Geographic reports that the problem has been going on for several years starting in 2014 when a chimp fatally attack a 2-year-old child, stealing the baby from his mother.

Villagers have built a bamboo fence around their backyards to prevent the chimps from getting in but the fence was no match for the chimps, who kept returning.   Three deaths have been reported and six additional injuries or escapes have occurred as a result of the Chimpanzee attacks.

Angry Chimps can scale any Wall

Well, maybe not the big, beautiful Trump Wall paid for by the Mexicans

———————————————————————————————————-

Dot 4: Feral hogs in Texas attacked and killed a woman:

A Texas woman was found dead after pre-dawn attack by a group of feral hogs.  Christine Rollins, a 59-year old caregiver to an elderly couple in Anahuac, failed to show up at her normal time on Sunday and the  homeowner found her lying in the front yard between her car and the house.

It appears that multiple hogs assaulted Rollins when she arrived at work.  lt

was determined Rollins was attacked by different hogs because of the various size of the bites on her body.  Mature feral hogs can weigh between 100 and 400 pounds.

Ferrel Hogs are the new White Meat

The Dots have been connected by Lenny Harding and it is clear that the Animal Kingdom is planning a Coup de Ta against Mankind.

An angry President Trump Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 11 @ 4:23 AM

Thanks to that Great American and Republican Lenny Harding for connecting the Dots and making America aware of this imminent attack against mankind.  Only I can stop the attack of Wild Animals against our People.  I will stop these Wild Animals like I stopped the Hoards of Mexican Rapist, Gangsters, Druggies and Muslims who were Invading America.

Only Donald Trump can Stop the Invasion of the Animal Kingdom

Trump and the Armenian Genocide

Executive Summary:

– The US House and Senate have recently recognized the Genocide of 1.5 Million Armenians by the Ottoman Empire in 1915

– Donald Trump will not recognize this atrocity…..Why?

Our Uber Partisan, Do-Nothing House and Senate both recently passed Bi-Partisan resolutions recognizing the Murder Genocide of 1.5 Million Armenians by the Ottoman Turks in 1915.

But, the Orange Ottoman will NOT recognize the 1915 Genocide of Armenia by the Ottoman Turks that murdered 1.5 Million innocent Armenians, including immediate relatives of all 4 of Sarkeses grandparents who came to America as refugees of the Genocide. WHY?

The Orange Ottoman and his Strongman Ottoman Dictator Buddy Erdagon

Listen

Sarkes can overlook that we elected a serial adulterer because the Orange P-Grabber has caused a Tsunami of cash to flood our Portfolios. The Old GOP Conservative Family Values were much ado about nothing. 

The Orange Birddog likes large chested women in tight dresses

AND

Sarkes can overlook that our Deficit has soared like a Boeing ICBM under the Orange Economists Tax Cut and Spend Economic policies because a Tsunami of cash has bloated our Portfolios. 

Our Deficit has soared faster than a Boeing ICBM
We can’t Blame Obama for this record Deficit, can we?

AND 

Sarkes can overlook the anti-free trade policies of the Orange Tariff Man as a Tsunami of cash has invaded our Portfolios.  Free Trade is overrated. 

The Orange Tariff Man says the World has taken advantage of Merica with Unfair Free Trade

AND

Sarkes can chuckle when the Orange Bully resorts to Junior High Name Calling, very entertaining.

The Orange Bully is an Equal Opportunity Verbal Abuser, no segment of our society is immune

AND 

Sarkes can overlook that the Orange Pinocchio is a pathological lier.  All Politicians lie, it’s just that the Orange Pants on Fire takes lying to all new levels.  But with the Irreversible Dumbing of America, no one cares.  And, the Orange Perfidious lies have no negative impact on our Portfolios.

How can you tell if the Orange Pinocchio is lying?  His Lips are Moving

AND

Sarkes can overlook the Climate Change denying by the Orange Meteorologist because Sarkes will have made his Celestial Exit before there is a Climate Armageddon.     

Climate Change is a Hoax, Scam, Sham, perpetrated by Liberal Scientists

AND

Sarkes can overlook the anti immigration policies of the Orange ICE Agent as the only Korkoian family left in Armenia are distant relatives. Sure, as a Brown Man, Sarkes is always on guard for an ICE raid when in a restaurant in SW Florida, but this is only an aggravation.  

ICE rounds up the Brown Man and sorts them out later

AND

Sarkes can understand that the Orange Constitutionalist is constantly doing Ends Around the Constitution to execute his Campaign Promises AND to set himself up to be President for Life like his Dictator Buddies; Erdogan, Putin, Xi, Duarte, and Jung Un. At one time, Sarkes could care less if the Orange Caesar was President for Life as long as his Portfolio stayed bursting at the seams.   

The Orange Strongman with his Dictator Boy Toys

BUT

Sarkes CANNOT overlook that the Orange Ottoman will NOT recognize the 1915 Genocide of Armenia by the Ottoman Turks that murdered 1.5 Million innocent Armenians, including immediate relatives of all 4 of Sarkeses grandparents who came to America as refugees of the Genocide. 

Sarkes understands that the Orange Sultan wants to be a Strongman like his idols Erdogan, Putin, Xi, Duarte, and Jung Un. What other explanation is there for cow-towing to these oppressive Dictators. 

So why won’t the Orange Pasha recognize this atrocity?  Why is the Orange Shah patronizing the despicable Ottoman Erdogan?  Is the Orange Czar that gullible that he has fallen for the 6 million dollar / year lobbying done by the current Ottoman Turkish Government to influence our Politicians that there was no Genocide?  

No, this is the straw that broke the camels back, a line in the sand has been crossed. Enough is enough. 

Unless the Orange Premier flips and formally recognizes the 1915 Genocide of Armenia by the Ottoman Turks in 30 days, Sarkes will announce that he is running for President in 2020 as an Independent. This will disrupt the entire 2020 election dynamics. 

Sarkeses Portfolio be dammed. 

Sarkes may run for President in 2020


Editorial Note:  Sarkes had considered posting some pictures from the 1915 Genocide of Armenians by the Ottoman Empire, but the images are too disturbing even for Sarkes.  

In 1915, from a population of 2 million, 1.5 million Armenians were marched into the Syrian dessert and killed, as such, the Armenian people were almost exterminated.  If it wasn’t for the fall of the Ottoman Empire at the end of  World War II, and there would be no Sarkes or Sarkes Corner.

If you are interested, Google:  “Armenian Genocide Images”  for some disturbing pictures of this atrocity which is still being denied by all Turkish governments since the end of World War I.