2019 – A Record Year

Executive Summary:

  • Its that time of year to recap 2019
  • 2019 was a record year for Mass Murders in America

Well, 2019 was a record year for Mass Murders in America.  There were more mass killings in 2019 than any year dating back to the 1970s.  In 2019, there were 41 mass killings, defined as when four or more people are killed. 211 people were killed in these mass murders. Sarkes, an Award Winning Statistician, calculates that an Average of 5.15 innocent men, women, and children were murdered in the 41 mass killings.

The highlight Mass Murders that garnered the most coverage occurred in:  El Paso, Texas (22 murdered), Virginia Beach, Virginia (12 murdered), Dayton, Ohio (9 murdered), Odessa, Texas (8 murdered), and and Gilroy, CA (4 murdered). 

The 211 people killed in 219 is still eclipsed by the 224 victims in 2017, when the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history took place in Las Vegas. If not for the 59 people murdered in Las Vegas, 2019 would have taken the record for not only the number of Mass Murders, but also people killed.

The Mass Murderers were almost all Angry White Men and their weapon of choice were Semi-Automatic Assault Rifles.

Angry Racist Patrick Crusius wins the Award for the most killed in El Paso.  Crusius did not like Mexican Invaders

The Semi Automatic Assault Rifle AR-15 was the weapon of choice for the Angry White Mass Murderer

When informed about the Record Mass Murders in 2019:

  • A spokesman for the NRA said:  “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”
  • President Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If more Americans were carrying guns, there would be less mass killings.
The Orange Lugar would like all Americans to Pack Heat
  • The President of the NRA said:  “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” 
  • A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “These Mass Murders with semi automatic weapons are just the price of our Freedom” 
  • Countless Politicians said:  “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”
  • Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said:  “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, like California, what do you expect”.
  • If Charlton Heston were alive today he would say:  “I’ll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands”

Sarkes often wonders if our Founding Fathers might have reconsidered the 2nd Amendment if they had a clue that our right to “Bear Arms” would contribute to these Mass Murders. 

Lock and Load America, Lock and Load. Happy New Year, the clock on Mass Murders starts up again on January 1, 2020.

Iowa, Enough Said

Executive Summary:

  • An Iowa woman runs over a 14 year old girl with her SUV because the girl “is a Mexican”
  • She did what?  Because the girl was what?  What?

Nicole Poole Franklin, 42, from Des Moines, Iowa, was smoking Meth and driving around town when she saw a 14 year old girl, Natalia Miranda.   Racist Franklin then intentionally ran over the Miranda with her SUV because the girl looked “Mexican”. 

Mixing Meth with a Racist is a formula for disaster

Racist Franklin is not the smartest White Suprematist in the Klan as later she admitted to police that she intentionally targeted her victim because the girl “is Mexican.”  Racist Franklin now faces an attempted murder charge.

Natalia Miranda is Guilty of Being “Mexican” in Iowa

But running over a 14 year old “Mexican” was just a warm-up for Racist Franklin.  Less than an hour after running over the “Mexican”, Racist Franklin went to a Conoco gas station in West Des Moines.

Racist Franklin dropped into the Conoco station for a pack of smokes

At the Conoco gas station, Racist Franklin commenced a Racist rant against owner Waheed Abdul.  Racist Franklin was throwing potato chips, destroying merchandise and spewing racial slurs against Adbul.  Police were called and Racist Franklin was charged with assault, operating under the influence, theft, and public intoxication. Hate charges are also being considered. 

Abdul is guilty of being a Brown man in Iowa

Racist Franklin may have some anger management issues.  In 2018, Racist Franklin was charged with harassment and domestic abuse assault after she bit her boyfriend and struck him in the back of the neck. During the confrontation, Racist Franklin picked up a butcher’s knife and repeatedly said she would kill her boyfriend.

Even though Sarkes grew up in Missouri, the Shoot Me State, which is borders Iowa immediately to the south, Sarkes doesn’t know much about Iowa.  So, the Sarkes Corner Research Team provided Sarkes the following facts about Iowa:

  • Iowa has a population of just over 3 million, 90% are white, 6% Hispanic, and 4% Black.
  • Iowa has more Golf Courses per capita than any other state, and as we know, Golf is the sport of choice for Rich, Old, White Men.
Golfing in Iowa is for the Rich White Man, Brown People not Welcome
  • Sliced Bread, White of course, was invented in Iowa
The Bread in Iowa, like the People, is White

Confirmed Racist House Representative Steve King is from Iowa.  Racist King is so Racist that the GOP had no choice but to Censure him and remove him from several of his prestigious committees.

Steve King is a Proud Racist representing other Proud Racists in Iowa

So, Iowa is a great place to live and raise a family, as long as one is White.

A Sarkes Corner Quiz

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes offers a Multiple Choice Political Quiz

The Quiz:  Identify who said the following:

“The party that lost the 2016 election, the Democratic Party, is trying to achieve results by other means.  The Democrats accused Trump of conspiracy with Russia, there was no conspiracy at all.  These are all made up charges.”

Was it:

A. Jim Jordon, Republican Representative from Ohio

Jim Jordan, like Sarkes, does not like to wear suits

B. Devin Nunes, Republican Representative from California

Devin Nunes is an Endangered Species, a Republican in California

C. Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas

Ted Cruz now sports a beard to confuse ICE when he goes back to Texas

D. Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate Majority Leader

Moscow Mitch has a strong resemblance to Howdy Doody

E. Vlads Putin, President for Life – Russian Federation

Vlads Putin is a Man’s Man

And the answer is D. Vlads Putin.  No, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.  Vlads, commenting after the House Impeached the Orange Martyr,  vigorously defended his Boy Toy.  

Vlads and Donnie share a relaxing moment

We are definitely smack dab in the middle of Bizzaro World.  “Many People Say” that Vlads is setting up the Orange Credulous to get the Russian Federation invited to the G8 to be held at Trump Doral in 2020.  

The Russian Federation will join the G8 in 2020

Finally, Sarkeses source in the White House, LEAKER, reports that when the Orange Premier gets reelected in 2020, his Orange Majesty will create a “Worlds Strongman Club” to include his buds Putin, Erdogan, Xi, Durarte, and Jung Un

This is a Who’s Who of Strongmen

Penis Fish

Executive Summary:

  • Thousands of Penis Fish washed up on a beach in California
  • Penis Fish, what?

WARNING WARNING WARNING – This Sarkes Corner contains material that might make Family Value Conservatives Uncomfortable – WARNING WARNING WARNING

The Penis Fish is a worm that looks like a man’s Johnson

After a powerful storm,  thousands of unsightly, and phallic-looking worms were washed up on a California beach.  Fat Innkeeper worms, also known as “Penis Fish”, washed up on Drakes Beach in Point Reyes, Calif., around fifty miles northwest of San Francisco.

Thousands of Penis Fish found dead on the beach, what a waste

The “Penis Fish” that washed ashore is the Urechis Caupo, a type of spoonworm that primarily lives on the Pacific coast from southern Oregon to Baja California.  At around 10 inches, its peculiar shape is perfect for coastal life, allowing it to dig a U-shaped burrow for itself.  

Penis Fish can grow to over 10 inches, oh my

The burrow that Urechis Caupo makes is also useful for catching food, letting them take water in using a mucus “net” and sucking in plankton and other bacteria. It even leaves behind residuals for its guests, hence the “innkeeper” moniker. 

The Penis Fish does what?

But how, exactly, did thousands of Penis Fish end up washed ashore? Since their homes are constructed out of sand or mud, strong storms can wash them away. This renders them entirely visible during high-storm seasons such as the ones in El Niño years.

The Penis Fish is commonly eaten in South Korea, Japan, China and Russia as a delicacy, often served raw.

The Penis Fish is eaten raw, what?

Stormy Daniels Tweeted:

Stormy Daniels@StormyD – December 15 @ 10:00AM

I have been around Penises my whole life and I must admit that I am impressed with the size of the Penis Fish.  If only Donnie had a Long Schlong anywhere close to the size of a Penis Fish, I would be the First Lady today.

If the Orange Johnson was bigger, Stormy D could have been our First Lady 

The Orange Commander in Tweets Tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 16 @ 4:26AM

The report that I have a small Penis is Fake News, Alternate Facts, Phony, a Failed Take Down, Witch Hunt, Scam, Hoax, Hit Job, Harassment, Lynching, Triple Hearsay and Treasonous.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 16 @ 5:07AM

The charges that I have a small Penis has been perpetrated by the Deep State, Crazed Democrats, Never Trumpers, RINOs and Human Scum.  

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – December 16 @ 5:16AM

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY PENIS.  My Penis did nothing wrong.  My Penis is Perfect, Perfecto.  History will show that I am the greatest US President and that I have a large Penis.  No other President in history has had a bigger Penis than ME!!!!!!! My Penis will be completely Exonerated and Vindicated.  Case Closed.

No other President in history has had a larger One Eyed Snake

Trump IS an Environmentalist

Executive Summary:

  • “Many People Say” that the Orange Ecologist is anti environment
  • Sarkes has data to rebuke that charge

“Many People Say” that the Orange Conservationist believes that the movement to save our environment is as big a Hoax as the Impeachment Inquiry.   The Orange Tree Hugger and his GOP Lemmings claims that the Billions spent on cleaning up the Environment is a waste of Taxpayer dollars.  The Orange Preservationist claims that the “sky is falling” is a Ruse perpetrated by thousands of Angry Democrats and ill-informed Liberal Scientists.

Liberal Environmental Scientists are perpetrating a Hoax on America

Sure, on the surface, it would appear that the Orange Nature-Lover is anti-Environment based on his actions like:

  • Leaving the Paris Climate Agreement
  • Repealing or reducing many Obama Era Environmental Regulations like:

   o the Clean Power Plan

   o Toxic Air Pollution regulations

   o Fuel Economy Standards

   o the Clean Water Act

Yeah Yeah, on the surface, it would appear that the Orange Eco-Freak is anti-Environment.  But unlike most media outlooks, the crack Journalist at Sarkes corner dig much deeper into a topic and have concluded that:  Trump IS an Environmentalist.

All of the 16 Trump Golf Courses are Environmentally ECO Friendly

Many of Sarkes Corner readers are Liberal and are now shaking their heads in disbelief and are shouting, “Sarkes, have they legalized Marijuana in Florida, are you high, have you gone mad, what gives?”

Sarkes, a Truth Machine, provides proof positive that Trump IS an Environmentalist.  

The Orange Lavatory has ordered the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to do a nationwide review of water efficiency standards.  The Orange Urinal claims that because of issues with “sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms, People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. They end up using more water.” 

The Orange Latrine amplified: “We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms, where you turn the faucet on in areas where there’s tremendous amounts of water, where it rushes out to sea because you could never handle it. And you don’t get any water. You turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water”.  Better than any other President in our history, the Orange Commode has a way of communicating in clear and concise “Merican” language that all Americans can comprehend and understand. 

In America today, toilets must be flushed 10 to 15 times

American Urinals are more efficient, only 5 flushes are needed

Porta Potties may Stink but do not need to be flushed 10 to 15 times

On an Environmental roll, the Orange Privy said that the White House would need to change out the lightbulbs because the new ones are expensive and “give you an orange look.” The Orange Porta Potty has made similar comments before when complaining  about the energy efficiency requirements directed under former President Barack Obama.

Poor Americans cannot afford to buy expensive LED Lights

Again, the Orange Electrician amplified:  ”The new bulb is many times more expensive, and, I hate to say it, it doesn’t make you look as good. It gives you an orange look. I don’t want an orange look. Has anyone noticed that?”

LED Lights give Trump an Orange hue

So, Sarkes has proved proof positive that our President IS an Environmentalist.   With the Economy humming on all cylinders, unemployment never lower, stock market skyrocketing like a Boeing ICBM, Blacks turning into Republicans, the Orange Crapper is taking on Real Environmental issues never before addressed. 

Sarkes has proven that Trump IS an Environmentalist 

Even the Liberals with Stage 4 Trump Derangement Syndrome must agree that it takes 10 to 15 flushes with today’s toilets.  Sarkes can give testimony to the Orange Crappers newest Environment  initiative. Sarkes cannot count the number of times that he must flush his toilet 10 to 15 times.  

Not only are we wasting water, but Americans are spending wasted hours on the Throne.  

George Zimmerman is Back!

Executive Summary:

  • After an extended absence, our man George Zimmerman is back in the headlines
  • George is suing the family of the Black teenager that he killed for $100 Million dollars

Welcome back George Zimmerman, you have been gone too long.  

You all remember George Zimmerman:

  • killer of Skittle eating, ice tea drinking, young black man Trayvon Martin
  • killer of Hoodie sales in Florida
  • Neighborhood watch Police Officer Wannabe
  • serial abuser of women
  • Heat Packing, NRA Poster Boy for the NRA
  • failed fraudulent copy-write violating Artist

Black Teen Trayvon Martin liked Hoodies, Skittles, and Ice Tea

George Zimmerman is back in the news, it’s been too long, welcome back

“Many People Say” that George Zimmerman is a piece of Human Scum, low life and the epitome of a Florida Cracker.  While that all may be true, Sarkes owes a debt of gratitude to George Zimmerman.  You see, in the earliest days of Sarkes Corner, our man George Zimmerman provided great material for Sarkes Corner for years.  When Sarkes receives his first Pulitzer and Nobel Prize for Literature, he is obligated to recognize George Zimmerman for the success of Sarkes Corner. 

Our man George Zimmerman never ceases to amaze.  Zimmerman was acquitted of murder by a jury of his White Cracker Peers in the 2012 killing of Black Youth Travon Martin.   Now, either because he is short of cash, or, according to his shister lawyer, is trying to get justice, Zimmerman is suing the Trayvon Martin’s parents, family attorney, the attorney’s book publisher and prosecutors who tried his case, for $100 million dollars!  With his daily reporting of George Zimmerman, Sarkes expects to be added to this frivolous lawsuit. 

George Zimmerman celebrates his acquittal by a jury of his White Cracker Peers

You can say what you want about our man George Zimmerman, but you must give him credit for having the entrepreneurial spirt.  While having failed at all of his schemes, George has attempted to make money by auctioning off the Heat he used to kill Trayvon Martin and trying to sell fraudulent art.  

George Zimmerman needed cash so he attempted to auction the gun he used to kill Black Teen Trayvon Martin

George Zimmerman with one of several pieces of his failed, fraudulent, Artwork

Our Man George is claiming that he was defamed when all of those identified in this lawsuit allowed a witness to give false testimony in an attempt to incriminate him.  God Bless the USA, we are a litigious country that allows even Pond Scum like George Zimmerman to seek justice, and a large settlement.

Zimmerman’s claims that a trial witness pretended to be the last person to talk to Martin by phone before he was killed when the witness was actually the half-sister of the caller.  According to the lawsuit, Brittany Diamond Eugene didn’t want to testify that she had been talking to Martin before he was killed. So her half-sister, Rachel Jeantel, pretended that she was talking to the teen before he was fatally shot. Jeantel ended up testifying at Zimmerman’s 2013 trial in Sanford, Florida.

Rachel Jeantel is accused of lying on the stand

In a statement on Wednesday, Martin family attorney Benjamin Crump called the allegations unfounded and reckless.  “This plaintiff continues to display a callous disregard for everyone but himself, re-victimizing individuals whose lives were shattered by his own misguided actions. He would have us believe that he is the innocent victim of a deep conspiracy, despite the complete lack of any credible evidence to support his outlandish claims.”

Zimmerman’s shister lawyer in the lawsuit is Larry Klayman.  Shister Klayman is a Piece of Work himself.   Shister Klayman is a conservative activist who founded the watchdog group, Judicial Watch.  Last July, an ethics committee of the bar in the District of Columbia recommended that Klayman’s law license be suspended.

Shyster Larry Klayman, a Right Thinking Reagan / Trumpian Conservative, is seeking Justice for our man George Zimmerman

Looks like our man George Zimmerman is well represented.  Welcome back George, more to come.