- Trump says that Energy-Efficient Light Bulbs make him Look Orange
- Sarkes calls for Equal Rights for Orange People
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and Minnesota Bureau Chief Eric Pederson for this breaking news about our Orange POTUS.
Faster than Walmart can Roll-Back prices on millions of products, the Orange Monarch’s administration has rolled-back HUNDREDS of Obama-era regulations. One of the Orange Eminences Obama Roll Backs was for Energy Efficient Light Bulbs.
It turns out that the Roll Backs on Energy Efficient Light Bulbs was NOT about Making America Great Again, rather, this Roll Back occurred because the Orange Premier believes that Energy Efficient Light Bulbs make him look Orange. The Orange Scientist claims his Orange hue is caused because the light emitted from the energy efficient bulbs is “not good”.
Its clear that the Orange Baron knows more about Science than the Scientists.
For years, Scientists and the Media have tried to determine the source of the Orange Caesars Orange Hue. The “Official” statement from the White House claims that the Orange Hue on the Orange Chosen One is caused by “Good Genes”. Another school claimed the Orange Hue comes from Fake Tanning. Now, the Orange Commandant blames Energy Efficient Light Bulbs.
The Orange Exalted Leader explained the Science behind his edict to Roll Back standards on Energy Efficient Light Bulbs:
- “The light bulb. People said what’s with the light bulb? I said here’s the story. I looked at it, the bulb that we’re being forced to use, number one to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”
- “But number two, it’s many times more expensive than that old incandescent bulb that worked very well. And very importantly—I don’t know if you know this—they have warnings. If it breaks it’s considered a hazardous waste site. It’s gasses inside”
- “I am not a vain person…but I look better under an incandescent light than these crazy lights that are beaming down.”
Sarkes understands the position of the Orange Czar. You see, Sarkes, a Brown Man, understands the life of person of Color living in America today. When Sarkes goes to breakfast with the Spring Run Conservative Men’s Breakfast Club at local eateries, Sarkes is always at Risk of getting caught up in a ICE Raid looking for Illegal Mexican Cooks and Table Cleaners.
Sarkes believes that Orange People have an even tougher time in America verses Black, Brown, Red, and Yellow Americans. The Orange People minority is So Small that most Racists Americans just assume that Orange People are just the victims of a Bad Tanning job.
Sarkes is hereby starting a movement to get America to recognize Orange People for who they are, America’s Smallest Minority. It time to get Orange People out of the Closet and allow them to live Free in America without making excuses like “Energy Efficient Light Bulbs make them look Orange”. This is no way to live.
And what better time to push for Equal Rights for Orange People since the most powerful person in the Free World is himself an Orange Man.