Cracker Endorses Cadillacs

Executive Summary:

  • A 70-year-old Florida Cracker was driving on a highway standing through the sun roof, and speeding over 100 mph
  • Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Bureau Chief and sister Cindy Mamelian for another bizarre story about a Florida Cracker, aka, Florida Man.

A Florida Cracker is normally a docile species, Salt of the Earth if you will.  But, when a Florida Cracker starts drinking or taking drugs, it’s all bets off.  The Florida Cracker hopped-up is an accident waiting to happen. Normally the hopped-up Cracker wrecks havoc with a Gun or Knife.  That is not the case here.

Florida Highway Patrol Troopers arrested 70 year old Cracker Leonard Olsen after he was seen standing through a sun roof as the car continued to speed down Interstate 4 in Polk County.

Cracker Olsen driving down the highway, Hands Free

An off-duty Hillsborough County Sheriff’s deputy was behind Cracker Olsen when he stood up while driving westbound on I-4 at a high rate of speed.  Video captured Olsen standing up in a White Cadillac with his arms spread open.  The fact that this Cracker was driving a Cadillac is in itself strange, as we know that the vehicle of choice for Crackers are Pick Up Trucks with Gun Racks.  

In a sworn witness interview, the Hillsborough County Deputy said Oslen “bounced back and forth in the center lane…and sped up to over 100 miles per hour and slowed to about 40 miles per hour.”

When asked why he did it, Cracker Olsen told troopers he wanted to praise God.  “I thought it would be a nice way to praise God for a minute, and I thought it would be nice at the time and that’s what I did.”  Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

Cracker Olsen was just praising our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, God Bless

Justifying why he was not danger to the public, Cracker Olsen went on say:  “The car drivers itself and has a gigantic computer in it.”   Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

The new Cadillacs drive themselves and have Gigantic Computers 


Authorities might have determined Cracker Olsen’s motive when he said: “My wife treats me like a servant and she’s the mistress, Lock me up, I’d rather go to jail than go back home.”    Oh my, hmmmm, uh, oh, what, he said that?

Cracker Olsen was charged with reckless driving.  He remains in the Polk County Jail on a $21,000 bond as his wife refused to post his Bail.

Cracker Olsen cannot post bail and sits in the Hoosegow