More Cracker Antics

Executive Summary:

  • A Florida Crackerette pulled an alligator out of her pants during a traffic stop in Punta Gorda, FL.
  • Sarkes provides details left out of the national news reports of this story.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.  Charlotte County Sheriffs Deputies and Florida Wildlife officials had to investigate a routine traffic stop in Punta Gorda, FL which is 45 miles north of Sarkeses Crib in Bontia Springs, FL. 

In the past, Sarkes has reported on Crackeretts hiding many things down their pants and in their Vaginas, including drugs and Heat (Guns).  But hiding a wild, Foot Long alligator by her Snatch is a first for Sarkes. 

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Beat Reporter and sister Cindy Mamelian for another bizarre story of antics by the Florida Cracker.  

Florida Cracker Michael Cody Clemons and Crackerette Ariel Michelle Marchan-Le Quire were driving a Blue Chevy Pickup truck in Punta Gorda when they ran a Stop sign at 3:15 am.  The Pickup truck is the vehicle of choice for the Florida Cracker, usually with a gun rack.  

The Pickup Truck, with Gun Rack, is the vehicle of choice for the Cracker

When Charlotte County Sheriffs Deputies questioned Cracker Clemons, he said he and Marchan-Le Quire had been collecting frogs and snakes from under a nearby overpass.  When asked to see what they had captured, Cracker Clemons showed the Deputies a sack of 41 small three-stripe turtles.

41 small three-stripe turtles were rescued from the Cracker Perps

The Deputies then asked, “Do you have anything else?”  At that, Marchan-Le Quire pulled a foot-long alligator out of the yoga pants she was wearing. 

This foot long alligator was being hidden in the Yoga pants of the Crackerette Marchan-Le Quire

According to the incident report, the state’s Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission seized the animals and released them back into the wild. Cracker Clemons and Crackerette Marchan-Le Quire were cited for violations of state wildlife laws.

Now that is all on this story one would get if reading the standard news outlets.  But Sarkes Corner, Fair and Balanced, digs deeper when something doesn’t smell right, like the stench of wild turtles and an alligator.

After filing a request under the Freedom of Information Act, the Charlotte County Sheriffs office provide Sarkes a copy of the Police Report of this incident.  

From the Charlotte County Sheriffs police report, Sarkes learned that:

  • Sheriffs deputies approached the Pickup truck with caution given that it was 3:15 am and the Pickup had just ran a Stop sign.
  • The deputies reported that Cracker Clemons was cooperative but that something did not seem right with the passenger.
  • Deputies stated that while the passenger looked like a women (they spotted Ta Tas, the passenger also had a bulge in his/her pants.
  • Not yet having gone thru the required training for Florida Deputies on how to address Transgender Perps, these Charlotte County Sheriffs Deputies called for Back Up.
  • The Deputies were relieved when Crackerette Marchan-Le Quire pulled the Foot Long Gator out of here pants.

Sarkes ponders that when the incident was over, did the relieved Charlotte County Deputy reflect on that classic quote from iconic actress Mae West when she said:  “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

In her hay day, all men were happy to see Mae West

“Many People Say” Sarkes, did the Orange Lothario Tap Mae West?  Since Mae West died in 1980, it’s quite possible as Mae West was Blonde with Big Ta Tas, but we may never know.

It is quite possible that the Orange Bird Dog has Tapped Mae West as she was Blonde with Big Ta Tas