- Sarkes has been reporting on the antics of the Florida Cracker for years.
- Just recently, the main stream media has discovered the stupid things that the Florida Crackers do every day, and have Labeled the Florida Cracker – FLORIDA MAN!
Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about FLORIDA MAN. Cindy has been infatuated and befuddled with the Florida Cracker, FLORIDA MAN, for years (Note: FLORIDA MAN could be a woman). Sarkes has been reporting on the stupid antics of his Florida Cracker neighbors for years, this is nothing new. The rest of the mainstream media is just now catching up with Sarkes and Sarkes Corner.
The FLORIDA MAN is a bit of an enigma. A Florida Cracker can be The Salt of the Earth, dependable, peaceful…………until FLORIDA MAN gets all liquored up. A Florida Cracker drunk is dangerous. A Florida Cracker drunk and packing Heat is an accident waiting to happen.
It seems that every day there is a story that involves a Florida Cracker shooting something / somebody, or screaming incomprehensible babble, or getting arrested.
FLORIDA MAN has been busy in 2019. Below are real Headlines, no FAKE NEWS in Sarkes Corner, many of which have already been reported in Sarkes Corner. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.
Florida Man Shooting at a Target in Backyard Hits Neighbor Sitting at Dining Room Table
Florida Man Doesn’t Get Straw, Attacks McDonald’s Employee
Florida Man Killed Ex-Girlfriend While Trying to ‘Get Rid of the Devil’
Florida Man Intentionally Drove His Car Into Ocean At Top Speed
Florida Man Denies Syringes Found in Rectum Are His (this could be Sarkeses favorite)
Florida Man Arrested After Argument Over Cheesesteak
Florida Man Accused of Burning Son to Teach Him Lesson About Fire
Florida Man Allegedly Fooled Family Into Believing Murdered Wife Was Still Alive
Florida Man Chews Up Police Car Seat After Cocaine Arrest
Florida Man Threatens to Kill Man With ‘Kindness,’ Uses Machete Named ‘Kindness’
Florida Man Causes Highway Crash, Steals Good Samaritan’s Truck Who Stopped To Help
Florida Man Accused of Luring Kids Tells Cops He Can’t Recall As He ‘Drinks 18-20 Beers’ Before Talking to the Children
Florida Man was run over by a Patrol Car While Lying in Road to Watch the Lunar Eclipse
Florida Man Caught Exposing Himself in Walmart Pillow Aisle
Florida Man Learns Hard Way He Stole Laxatives, Not Opioids (another Sarkes favorite)
North Florida Man Beat, Pepper Sprayed Mom Because ‘She Was a Narcissist’
‘Trump will handle it.’ Florida Man Has Warning After Harassing Iraqi Neighbors
Florida Man Driving Unregistered ATV Ran Over his Dog
Florida Man Finds a WWII Grenade, Places It in His Truck, Drives to Taco Bell
Florida Man Accused of Robbing Chinese Restaurant at Finger Point
Florida Man Spent Weeks in Jail for Heroin That Was Actually Detergent
Florida Man Stabbed in the Back at Gainesville Bar Over Remark on a MAGA Hat
Florida Man Attacked Sister, Bit Cop After Someone Touched His Cigar
Florida Man Dances Through DUI Sobriety Test
Florida Men Accused of Smearing Feces on Crunch Fitness Bathroom, Sauna
Florida Man Tried to Run Over Son Because He Didn’t Want to Take a Bath
Florida Woman’s Maternity Photo Includes Alligator, Shotgun, Bud Light
Florida Man Recorded Himself Having Sex with Dog
Florida Man Throws Burrito in Woman’s Face, Cops Say. And This Has Happened Before
Florida Man Fights To Keep Last $809 After IRS Seizes Bogus $980,000 Tax Refund
Florida Man Caught on Camera Licking Doorbell
Florida Man Claiming People Were “Eating His Brains” Leads Police on Insane Golf Course Chase
Florida Man Arrested with Cocaine-Stuffed Lunchables
Florida Man Charged After Pointing Laser at Helicopter
Rattlesnake-carrying Florida Man Claims to be ‘Agent of God’
Florida Man Fights Coyote Off With Coffee Cup: ‘I smashed him’
Florida Man Throws Toilet Through School Building Window
Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Throwing Cookie at Girlfriend
Florida Man Arrested After Hitting Dad with Pizza Because He Was Mad
Florida Man Who Allegedly Threatened Family with Coldplay Lyrics Ends Standoff After SWAT Promises Him Pizza
Arrested Florida Couple Pleasure Each Other In Back Of Cop Car
Florida Man Sprayed Other Inmates with Urine
Florida Man refused Service in a Sarasota Bar because he was wearing a Red MAGA Hat
Florida Man faked robbery to get out of work at Hardee’s
Wow, and that was only for the first few months of 2019! Sarkes will need to hire more investigative reporters if FLORIDA MAN keeps this up.
Remember, FLORIDA MAN is innocent until proven guilty by a Jury of his Cracker Peers.