The Strongman Love Triangle

  • The Orange Romeo has had a love affair with both his Boy Toys; Vlads Putin and Kim Jung Un
  • Now, it is reported that Vlads Putin and Kim Jung Un are hooking up

Russian President Vladimir Putin is meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un at a summit meant to highlight North Koreas pivot toward Moscow amid increasingly strained ties with Washington.  While on the surface, this would appear to be a Political move, Sarkes believes that there is much more to this meeting. 

Sarkes connects Dots where most cannot see Dots.  The Dots that Sarkes is connecting here is that there is a Love Triangle. A Love Triangle between the Orange Sniffer and his two Boy Toys, Vlads Putin and Kim Jung Un.

There is something strange going on with this high powered Love Triangle

First, the Golden Sombrero has been linked with Russian Strong Man Vlads Putin.  The Orange Oligarch has embraced and defended Russia and their Premier like no other US President.   

On Putin, the Orange Commandant has said:

“But our relationship has never been worse than it is now. However, that changed as of about four hours ago. I really believe that.”

“My people came to me, they said they think it’s Russia. I have President Putin; he just said it’s not Russia. I will say this: I don’t see any reason why it would be.”

“So I have great confidence in my intelligence people, but I will tell you that President Putin was extremely strong and powerful in his denial today.”

“Look at Putin — what he’s doing with Russia — I mean, you know, what’s going on over there. I mean this guy has done — whether you like him or don’t like him — he’s doing a great job in rebuilding the image of Russia and also rebuilding Russia period,”

 “Every time he sees me, he says, ‘I didn’t do that,’ and I really believe… he means it.”

Vlads and the Orange Babuska enjoying a day in the Russian Country
In the name of Detente, Trump and Putin decided to issue and joint Christmas Card

Trump & Putin, has their relationship gone South?

With the relationship between the Golden Gulag and his Boy Toy Vlads strained, a new relationship has been developing between the Orange Zest and North Korean Strong Man Kim Jun Un.

On Jung Un, the Golden Fortune Cookie has said:

“Great personality and very smart. Good combination. He’s a worthy negotiator. We had a terrific day, and we learned a lot about each other and about our countries.”

“We have exchanged letters and we fell in love”

“I like him. I get along with him great, we have a fantastic chemistry.”

“Kim is a great leader and his country has tremendous economic potential, unbelievable, unlimited”

Surely Nuclear Lovers would never push the button…..would they?
Trump and his boy toy Jung Un enjoying a public appearance

Trump and Jung Un have also issued a joint Christmas Card

It should come to no surprise that the Orange Cantaloupe is a temperamental lover and that his relationships with both Vlads and Kim have been like a roller coaster ride.  From this has developed a new relationship between Vlads Putin and Kim Jung Un.  Again, on the surface, this may seem like a political move to leverage the Russian and North Korean positions with the US.  But once more, Sarkes has connected the Dots where most can not see the Dots.  Sarkes believes that Vlads and Kim are hooking up.

Vlads and Kim Creating Nuclear Heat 
Vlads and Kim enjoying a quiet afternoon in the Russian countryside

So there you have it.  Love Triangles rarely turn out well.  A Love Triangle with the World’s Strongmen with Nuclear arsenals are a formula for disaster.

The Strongman Love Triangle in better times dancing to the Korean Hit “Gangnam Style”

Welcome Back George Zimmerman!

Executive Summary:

  • After several years of flying under the radar, Sarkes Corner Hall of Famer George Zimmerman is back in the news!  Hurray!

Sarkes has many skills and accolades.  Sarkes is renowned Statistician, could pass the Bar in any state after watching Judge Judy for 22 years, past Presidential Candidate, and future Pulitzer and Nobel Prize Winner.  But Sarkes recognizes that his fame as a Journalist is owed to George Zimmerman.

Recent Subscribers to Sarkes Corner might not know that Sarkes Corner was a struggling Blog until George Zimmerman came on the screen.  Sarkeses reporting on George Zimmerman cemented Sarkeses Journalistic Acumen. 

Well, George Zimmerman, the only celebrity in the Sarkes Corner Hall of Fame, is back in the news.  Many early subscribers to Sarkes Corner, including Sarkes Corner contributors sister Cindy Mamelian and friend Steve Peat Moss broke the story of George Zimmermans return to the headlines.

Sarkes Corner Hall of Famer George Zimmerman

You know George Zimmerman:

– Killer of of Skittle Eating, Ice Team Drinking, African Americans Teens

– Killer of Hoodie Sales in Florida

– 2nd Amendment Zombie

– NRA Poster Child

– Famed Artist and Copyright thief

– Serial women abuser

-Republican and staunch supporter of Donald Trump

Black Teen Trayvon Martin was killed for eating Skittles and drinking ice tea in a White neighborhood

After a failed marriage and several relationships with women that ended with our man George Zimmerman beating the women, George has resorted to Dating Apps to find his next girlfriend.  

Dating App Tinder recently removed Zimmerman from its platform. In true Zimmerman mode, our man went by an alias “Carter” and claimed to be looking for “carefree, fun!”

According to his fictitious bio, “Carter” (George) is a self-employed consultant who attended Liberty University (ironically, a Christian Evangelical University).  The profile stated that Carter enjoyed the outdoors, fishing, camping, hiking, quiet nights and takeout from Longhorn Steakhouse. The App shows George shirtless and wearing sunglasses. Another shows George with a dog, and yet another shows him in a cap and gown.  George (Carter) failed to say that he; Packs Heat, Abuses Women, hates Black People, and is a Serial Liar.

Carter has a different profile from George

Alas, our Man George was removed from Tinder citing impersonation as a violation of its policies.  Impersonation is one of George Zimmerman’s Core Competencies.  Recall that George tried to make money by stealing Black & White Photos, painting them, then tried to sell these fraudulent works on line as George Zimmerman original art.  George was just another staunch Republican executing a White Collar Crime.

George’s stole copywrited pictures and transformed them in to George Art

More fraudulent George Art

One must give George credit in his continued conquest of the Skirt.  Another Dating App, Bumble, previously banned George from their platform in December.  A spokesperson for Bumble stated:  “George Zimmerman was blocked and banned in December 2018 when we first discovered his profile and we have blocked and banned him again after we were informed by our users that he had created a new unverified profile.”  In his endless pursuit of the Skirt, George does not give up.  

In July 2013, a jury found Zimmerman not guilty of second-degree murder in the shooting death of Martin. Martin’s death and the subsequent verdict caused national outcry.  A fledgling Blog, Sarkes Corner, provided America, Fair and Balanced reporting on the Zimmerman trial, in addition to in-depth analysis and commentary.

A jury of his Cracker Peers found George Not Guilty of Murdering Trayvon Martin

Since his trial, our man George has NOT kept a low profile:

  • He was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault and domestic violence for threatening the father of his then wife with a hand gun.
  • In order to make ends meet, George attempted to auction off the gun that he used to Kill Black Teen Trayvon Martin.
  • He was accused of stalking a private investigator who had been hired by a film company working on a documentary of George’s life. George threatened to feed the PI to an alligator!
  • On two separate occasions with 2 separate girl friends, George was arrested for domestic violence.  
Since being acquitted for killing Trayvon Martin, George has been arrested several times

George Zimmerman is a solid part of the Orange Emperors Base; George is an Uneducated, Underemployed, Heat Packing White Guy.  On his way to becoming the greatest Conservative President we ever had, the Orange Creamsicle was a regular guest on the Fox News Fair & Balanced show, Fox and Friends.  On Fox and Friends, the Orange Jumpsuit said about George Zimmerman:

  • “I Don’t Disagree With Verdict But George Zimmerman is Not Going To Heaven Very Quickly”
  • “This George Zimmerman is really a mess – he really has to just disappear! He attacked his wife last night.”
  • “Who was at fault, Zimmerman or Martin, You could have solved it very quickly with a camera in the right spot,”

As it turns out, the Orange Traffic Cone did not need George Zimmerman’s vote in 2016.  Had it not been for the 5 million votes cast by Illegal Mexicans, the Orange Cheeto would have won both the Electoral College and Popular votes.

Taking pictures with his Base at a Rally in Florida, Trump did not realize he had posed with Zimmerman

Welcome Back George, you have been gone too long.  All of the fame and accolades bestowed on Sarkes Corner would not have been possible with out you.  

Low Speed Golf Cart Police Chase

Executive Summary:

  • A St. Louis man was arrested at a Florida Keys resort after a wild Golf Cart Police Chase.

What started as a routine Police chase of a Golf Cart quickly escalated into a dangerous Low Speed Chase.

Dangerous Low Speed Golf Cart Out of Control

Parks Thornton Terry, 32, of St. Louis, was spotted by security officers in a golf cart in the gated Ocean Reef resort neighborhood in Upper Key Largo in Monroe County, Florida.

Ocean Reef Resort in the Florida Keys, the scene of the Crime

“Many People Say, Sarkes, we know what a Florida Cracker is, but are there Crackers in St. Louis, MO, your old home town?”

The short answer is Yes.  There are Florida Cracker-Like people in St. Louis but they are not called Crackers.  Rather, the Florida Cracker-Like person in St. Louis is called a “Hoosier”.  This is not to be confused with the good citizens of Indiana.  

In St. Louis, the word Hoosier has a different, more derogatory meaning. A St. Louis Hoosier is an epithet of for anyone perceived as less cultured, low intelligence, rustic, bumpkin, redneck, hick, uncouth or unskilled person.

St. Louis Hoosier Parks Thornton Terry

Sarkes is pleased to clear that up.  But back on Point.  

When Police arrived, Hoosier Terry led them on a Low Speed Chase through the neighborhood while continuously giving them the thumbs up sign. He soon switched tactics, however, and put up his middle finger while driving erratically and yelling obscenities at the pursuing Federalies.

Like his hero, the Orange Ameba, Hoosier Terry gave Police the Two Thumbs Up

Like his hero, the Orange Dotard, Hoosier Terry gave Police the Middle Finger

Eventually, Terry arrived at a home where he was staying and went inside. A paramedic and a deputy knocked on the door, but a woman, Terry’s mother, Hoosierette/Crackerette Martha Wolfner, refused to let them in.

Police entered the home through a side door and soon a fisticuffs started between Hoosier Terry and the Officer.  Police eventually shocked Terry with a stun gun, and four law enforcement officers were eventually able to get handcuffs on him.

Police said that Hoosier/Cracker Terry continued to kick and began growling like a dog and rubbing his face in the broken glass on the floor.

Once in a patrol car, Police reported the smell of alcohol while Hoosier/Cracker Terry continued to yell curses and scream out to Jesus for help.  Hoosier/Cracker Terry refused a blood-alcohol breath test.

Hoosier/Cracker Terry was charged with DUI, fleeing from police, property damage, resisting arrest with violence and four counts of battery on a law enforcement officer or paramedic.

Like a Florida Cracker, when a St. Louis Hoosier is liquored up, nothing good can happen.  When a St. Louis Hoosier is liquored up AND driving a Golf Cart at Hight Speed, that is a formula for disaster.  At that point, praying to Jesus for help will not work.

Even Jesus Christ cannot help a drunken St. Louis Hoosier

Sarkes sympathizes with Hoosier/Cracker Terry.  His name, “Parks Thornton Terry”, probably made hi the victim of bullying by Bully Hoosiers when he was growing up in St. Louis.  This young Hoosier had a Last Name for a First Name and a First Name for a Last Name.  He could never recover.

St. Louis Hoosier Bullies make the Orange Bully seem like a Pacifist

Crackers Should Watch CSI

Executive Summary:

  • A 1998 slaying went cold for 20 years, until the Cracker Suspect applied for a job
  • The Cracker Perp would be free today if he had just watched CSI

Thanks to Florida Bureau Chief and sister Cindy Mamelian for another story of the Florida Cracker, aka, Florida Man.

This is a tragic story, but a story none the less, about the intelligence of the Florida Cracker, who, “Many People Say” are at the bottom of the human intelligence food chain.  

This Tale started with the murder of Sondra Better 20 years ago in Delary Beach, FL.  The perpetrator seemed to vanish without a trace.

Victim Better was working alone at Lu Shay’s Consignment Shop when a man came into the store and killed her.  Although a witness saw the Perp and the Perp left behind a trail of his own blood and fingerprints, police weren’t able to catch him — until he applied for a job 20 years later.

During the investigation of Better’s murder, fingerprints lifted at the crime scene, were entered into the Automated Fingerprint Identification System (AFIS) database.  Two decades passed without any matches. DNA samples from 36 men also came up empty.

Police finally got a hit when Cracker Todd Barket, 51, of Brandon, Florida, submitted his fingerprints as part an application for a nursing assistant job.

Cracker Barket lived about 8 miles from the consignment shop at the time of the 1998 killing. His fingerprints and blood matched the samples found at the crime scene, and he fit the description that an eyewitness provided, authorities said.

Cracker Barket is not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Cracker Barket was arrested at his home and is being held in Hillsborough County Jail without bond until he’s extradited to Palm Beach County.

Cracker Barket apparently thought that he had avoided the long arm of the law having been on the lam for 20 years.  Apparently, Cracker Barket does not watch CSI, or CSI Miami, or CSI New York.  If he had, he would have never applied for a job where he had to submit Finger Prints or take a Blood Test.  

Cracker Barket would be free today had he watched CSI

Another Dumb Cracker is headed to the Hoosegow.  

Cracker Barket doing the Perp Walk

Foods Indigenous to St. Louis

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes provides a culinary tour of foods indigenous to his hometown, St. Louis, MO.  This was motivated by recent national headlines of the process of Bread-Slicing bagels which started in St. Louis, MO.
  • Missouri, formerly the Show Me State, is now know as the Shoot Me State or more recently, the Show Meat State for its legislation to control the labeling of Meat products.

The Sarkes Corner Editorial Staff, Business Bureau, Political Bureau and Florida Bureau have been working overtime with the antics of the Florida Cracker (aka Florida Man) and the antics of the Orange Marmalade.  As such, Sarkes is giving these hard Sarkes Corner workers some well deserved time off and has created a new Food Bureau.

The Sarkes Corner staff has been overworked, but they are NOT underpaid

“Many People Say” Sarkes, you were an Engineer at Missouri Science & Technology, where did you get your Journalism Acumen?  A little known fact is that Sarkes worked his way up thru the ranks of the Missouri Science & Technology Yearbook, the RollaMO, eventually rising to Editor in Chief of the 1974 RollaMo.  

The 1974 Missouri Science & Technology Yearbook staff, Sarkes is in the Center with a Pipe and David Shep Schepers is 3rd from the left in a Suit and Hair


But Sarkes digresses, back on point. 

“Many People Say” Sarkes, we’ve been to your hometown St. Louis, Missouri, and your people have some strange and interesting foods.  With that, Sarkes provides a review and explanation of foods indigenous to St. Louis, MO.  

Bread Sliced Bagels:  The process of bread-slicing a bagel has recently made National headlines.  The bread-slicing of bagels started at St. Louis Bread Company, better known as Panera Bread in the rest of the country.  Why bread slice a bagel?  Well, that’s anybody’s guess, but the most logical explanation is that by bread-slicing a bagel, one gets exponentially more bagel area to spread cream cheese.  One look at the rotund people of St. Louis would provide testimony to this.  Note, one does NOT Toast a bread-sliced bagel.

By bread-slicing a bagel, one can spread much more cream cheese

Toasted Ravioli:  Classic St. Louis Toasted Ravioli is made using a meat filled ravioli, coating it in bread crumbs, and frying until golden and crisp. Then it’s served garnished with fresh grated Parmesan and marinara sauce for dipping.  

Like many culinary classics, Toasted Ravioli was invented by accident.  Toasted Ravioli emerged in the Italian Hill neighborhood in St. Louis at a restaurant which is now called Charlie Gitto’s.  A cook named Luigi was making scaloppini with red wine, which is to say he was drinking red wine while cooking scaloppini. In his tipsy state, Luigi accidentally dropped some ravioli into the deep fryer. When he pulled them out, he tried to salvage them with a sprinkling of Parmesan.  They were sent to the bar as an appetizer and, as they say, the rest is history.

St. Louis Toasted Ravioli, don’t be fooled, they are called Toasted by are really Deep-Fried

Provel Cheese:   Provel is a white processed cheese invented in St. Louis, also by accident.  Provel is a combination of cheddar, swiss, and provolone cheeses which are accented with liquid smoke.  Provel has a low melting point which makes gooey.  Provel is used on St. Louis style Pizza, Cheese soups, and a topping for Italian salad.  Provel is popular in St. Louis but is rarely used elsewhere.

Provel Cheese, um um um, Sarkes eats it right out of the box

St. Louis Style Pizza:   One thing that Sarkes has learned from moving to the Gunshine State with neighbors from all over the country, is that we all embrace the Pizza of our hometown.  When Sarkes returns to the Shoot Me State to visit family, there is one mandatory task, which is the consumption of a St. Louis Style Pizza.  So what is a St. Louis Style?  St. Louis Style Pizza is: super thin crust, Provel Cheese, and cut in squares.  Sarkes is drooling now just thinking about the St. Louis Style Pizza.

When Sarkes visits the Shoot Me State, a St. Louis Style Pizza is a must stop

St. Louis Style Spare Ribs:   St. Louis Style Spareribs are the meaty ribs cut from the belly of the pig. The rib becomes a St. Louis Style Spare Rib by cutting away the hard breastbone and chewy cartilage, so the slab is more rectangular in shape and meaty.  The St. Louis Style Spareribs is heavily sauced with a St. Louis Style BBQ Sauce like Maull’s, a very sweet, slightly acidic, sticky, tomato-based BBQ Sauce.

St. Louis Spare Ribs covered in sauce, there is no better Rib on the planet

St. Louis’s Maull’s BBQ Sauce, like their commercials since the 1950’s say: “Don’t Baste Your Barbecue!….You Gotta Maull It”

Gus’ Pretzels:   A St. Louis tradition since 1920, Gus’ Pretzel Shop is located on St. Louis’s south side, in the shadows of the world-famous Anheuser-Busch Brewery, in a German neighborhood.  In the early days, customers bought their Gus’ Pretzels from peddlers who sold the pretzels on street corners.   Their most popular style is the Stick Pretzel.  Gus’s Pretzels can be bought outside Busch Stadium to take into the game.

St. Louies have been eating Gus’ Pretzels since 1920

Gooey Butter Cake:  Gooey Butter Cake is unique to St. Louis.  The Gooey Butter Cake is a flat and dense cake made with cake flour, lots of butter, sugar, and eggs. When baked the cake is typically near an inch tall, and dusted with powered sugar.  Gooey Butter Cake is rich, sweet, firm, and able to be cut into pieces similarly to a brownie.  The Gooey butter cake is generally served as a type of coffee cake and not as a formal dessert cake.

St. Louis Gooey Butter Cake is NOT on the Weight Watchers Plan

Ted Drew’s Frozen Custard:  Ted Drew’s is a family-owned frozen custard company in south St. Louis.  The shop is located on the old US Route 66.  The signature dish is the Frozen Custard “Concrete” which is so thick that it is served to the customer upside down.  While Sarkes has no business eating a Ted Drews Frozen Custard, the countless times he has been to Ted Drews he has never seen a Frozen Custard slip out of the dish when served upside down.

There is always a line at Ted Drews Frozen Custard

The Ted Drews Concrete is so thick it is served upside down

Well that’s it for the culinary tour of St. Louis.  If you go to the Shoot Me State, take your bullet-proof vest and enjoy the foods indigenous to St. Louis.

Sarkes has always had problems controlling his weight eating foods indigenous to St. Louis

Sarkes Sues the Baltimore Orioles, An Update

Executive Summary:

  • In a recent edition of Sarkes Corner, Sarkes explained why he was in the process of Suing the Baltimore Orioles.
  • There is some late breaking update.

Sarkes has explained that he is suing the Baltimore Orioles for Breech of Contract as Pond Scum owner Bill Veeck had signed a contract with Baby Sarkes in August of 1952 for Sarkes to become a St. Louis Brown starting in March of 1970.  

Why is Sarkes suing the Baltimore Orioles? You see, the St. Louis Browns left St. Louis in 1953 and became the Baltimore Orioles.

Sarkes maintains that Veeck, the precursor to Pond Scum owner LA Rams owner Stan Kronke, was making plans to move the St. Louis Browns to Baltimore WHEN he issued that contract to Baby Sarkes.  Therefor the Breech, Veeck had no intention of honoring that contract with Baby Sarkes.

Baby Sarkes was a natural with a Ball, and would have been a Star Baseball Player

Sarkeses legal team has contacted the Baltimore Orioles with an offer to settle this embarrassing issue out-of-court.  As you may know, the Baltimore Orioles are the worse team in Major League Baseball and have enough troubles without the threat of a Sarkes law suit compounding their woes.

Well, the Baltimore Orioles counter offer to settle this law suit was a joke.  They said that Sarkeses law suit was a Hoax, a Witch Hunt, and a Failed Take Down.  

To settle this matter, the Baltimore Orioles sent Sarkes a vintage 1952 St. Louis Browns Baseball Cap in hopes to makes this legal action go away.  Sarkes thinks not, this is not over, more to come.

Sixty six years too late, Sarkes finally gets his St. Louis Browns Baseball Hat

Sarkes to Sue the Baltimore Orioles, nee St. Louis Browns

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes plans on Suing the Baltimore Orioles for Breech of Contract
  • The Contract in question was signed by former owner, Bill Veeck, when he owned the St. Louis Browns. 

Sarkes was going thru some papers from his youth when he happened upon a Contract that was signed in 1952 with the Owner of the St. Louis Browns, Bill Veeck.

For the young subscribers of Sarkes Corner, Sarkes provides some history.

The St. Louis Browns played in St. Louis from 1901 thru 1953, leaving for Baltimore after the 1953 season and becoming the Orioles.  The St. Louis Browns co-existed in harmony with the St. Louis Cardinals during this time ……..until Bill Veeck purchased the St. Louis Browns. 

The St. Louis Browns and St. Louis Cardinals met in the 1944 World Series.

Bill Veeck was like a Ring Master in the circus.  

Bill Veeck owner of the St. Louis Browns

One of Bill Veeck’s most memorable publicity stunts occurred during his tenure with the Browns, with the appearance on August 19, 1951, by Eddie Gaedel who stood 3 feet 7 inches tall and is the shortest person to appear in a Major League Baseball game. Veeck sent Gaedel to pinch hit in the bottom of the first of the game. Wearing “1/8” as his uniform number, Gaedel was walked on four straight pitches and then was pulled for a pinch runner.

Bill Veeck would do anything for publicity, even taking advantage of a Little Person.

Like that immoral, unethical, despicable owner of the Los Angeles Rams, Stan Kronke, Bill Veeck made his money the old fashioned way, he married socialite Mary Frances Ackerman.  Soon thereafter, Bill Veeck bought an 80% stake in the St. Louis Browns in 1951.   Veeck want to force the St. Louis Cardinals out of St. Louis, and started by decorating their shared ball park, Sportsman Park, which was owned by the Browns, exclusively with Browns memorabilia and signage.  

The St. Louis Browns and St. Louis Cardinals both played in Sportsman Park.

Ironically the Cardinals had long since passed the Browns as St. Louis’ favorite team. Nonetheless, Veeck made a concerted effort to drive the Cardinals out of town.  When the St. Louis Cardinals were sold to Anheuser-Busch in 1952, Veeck realized that the Cardinals now had more resources than he could even begin to match, and he decided to leave St. Louis selling Sportsman’s Park to the Cardinals and moving the Browns to Baltimore after the 1953 season.  Bill Veeck and Stan Kronke are two rotten peas in the same pod.

Like Pond Scum Stan Kronke, Bill Veeck moved a beloved professional sports team out of St. Louis

But back on point.  Sarkes was born on July 13, 1952 at the St. Louis Maternity Hospital.  On August 4, 1952, Bill Veeck signed a contract with Sarkes to report to Spring Training with the St. Louis Browns on March 1, 1970. 

The envelope addressed to Baby Korkoian (Sarkes), postmarked August 5, 1952

The Signed Contract with Sarkes from Bill Veeck

Sarkes is claiming Breech of Contract.  When this contract was issued to young Sarkes, that despicable Bill Veeck already had started the process to move the St. Louis Browns out of St. Louis.  Bill Veeck had no intention of honoring this contract.  

Young Sarkes got stiffed by Bill Veeck

“Many People Say” Sarkes, the Browns left St. Louis in 1953, Bill Veeck died in 1986, and what about the statute of limitations?”  Well, Sarkes plans on suing the Baltimore Orioles.  In 2018, the Baltimore Orioles were the worst team in Baseball, ending with a pitiful record of 47 wins and 115 loses.  The Orioles Stink.  2019 does not shape up any better for the pitiful Orioles.

The Baltimore Orioles STINK

Sarkes plans on leveraging the woes of the Baltimore Orioles to get an out-of-court settlement. Sarkes is confident that the Baltimore Orioles do not want to suffer the wrath of Sarkes and Sarkes Corner.

Sarkes should have been a St. Louis Brown

Florida Man

Executive Summary:

  • Sarkes has been reporting on the antics of the Florida Cracker for years.
  • Just recently, the main stream media has discovered the stupid things that the Florida Crackers do every day, and have Labeled the Florida Cracker – FLORIDA MAN!

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about FLORIDA MAN.  Cindy has been infatuated and befuddled with the Florida Cracker, FLORIDA MAN, for years (Note:  FLORIDA MAN could be a woman).  Sarkes has been reporting on the stupid antics of his Florida Cracker neighbors for years, this is nothing new.  The rest of the mainstream media is just now catching up with Sarkes and Sarkes Corner. 

The FLORIDA MAN is a bit of an enigma. A Florida Cracker can be The Salt of the Earth, dependable, peaceful…………until FLORIDA MAN gets all liquored up.  A Florida Cracker drunk is dangerous.  A Florida Cracker drunk and packing Heat is an accident waiting to happen.

It seems that every day there is a story that involves a Florida Cracker shooting something / somebody, or screaming incomprehensible babble, or getting arrested. 

FLORIDA MAN has been busy in 2019.  Below are real Headlines, no FAKE NEWS in Sarkes Corner, many of which have already been reported in Sarkes Corner.  Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Florida Man Shooting at a Target in Backyard Hits Neighbor Sitting at Dining Room Table

Florida Man Doesn’t Get Straw, Attacks McDonald’s Employee

Florida Man Killed Ex-Girlfriend While Trying to ‘Get Rid of the Devil’

Florida Man Intentionally Drove His Car Into Ocean At Top Speed

Florida Man Denies Syringes Found in Rectum Are His (this could be Sarkeses favorite)

Florida Man Arrested After Argument Over Cheesesteak

Florida Man loves any sandwich with Red Meat

Florida Man Accused of Burning Son to Teach Him Lesson About Fire

Florida Man Allegedly Fooled Family Into Believing Murdered Wife Was Still Alive

Florida Man Chews Up Police Car Seat After Cocaine Arrest

Florida Man Threatens to Kill Man With ‘Kindness,’ Uses Machete Named ‘Kindness’

Florida Man Causes Highway Crash, Steals Good Samaritan’s Truck Who Stopped To Help

Florida Man Accused of Luring Kids Tells Cops He Can’t Recall As He ‘Drinks 18-20 Beers’ Before Talking to the Children

Florida Man was run over by a Patrol Car While Lying in Road to Watch the Lunar Eclipse

Florida Man Caught Exposing Himself in Walmart Pillow Aisle

Florida Man Learns Hard Way He Stole Laxatives, Not Opioids (another Sarkes favorite)

Like Cheech and Chong once said:  “Man these drugs are good Shit!”

North Florida Man Beat, Pepper Sprayed Mom Because ‘She Was a Narcissist’

‘Trump will handle it.’ Florida Man Has Warning After Harassing Iraqi Neighbors

Florida Man Driving Unregistered ATV Ran Over his Dog

Florida Man Finds a WWII Grenade, Places It in His Truck, Drives to Taco Bell

Florida Man Accused of Robbing Chinese Restaurant at Finger Point

Florida Man Spent Weeks in Jail for Heroin That Was Actually Detergent

Florida Man Stabbed in the Back at Gainesville Bar Over Remark on a MAGA Hat

Florida Man Attacked Sister, Bit Cop After Someone Touched His Cigar

Florida Man Dances Through DUI Sobriety Test

Florida Man is all too familiar with the Traffic Stop Sobriety Check

Florida Men Accused of Smearing Feces on Crunch Fitness Bathroom, Sauna

Florida Man Tried to Run Over Son Because He Didn’t Want to Take a Bath

Florida Woman’s Maternity Photo Includes Alligator, Shotgun, Bud Light

Florida Man Recorded Himself Having Sex with Dog

Florida Man Throws Burrito in Woman’s Face, Cops Say. And This Has Happened Before

Florida Man Fights To Keep Last $809 After IRS Seizes Bogus $980,000 Tax Refund

Florida Man Caught on Camera Licking Doorbell

Florida Man Claiming People Were “Eating His Brains” Leads Police on Insane Golf Course Chase

Florida Man Arrested with Cocaine-Stuffed Lunchables

The Oscar Meyer Lunchable is the perfect place to store Cocaine

Florida Man Charged After Pointing Laser at Helicopter

Rattlesnake-carrying Florida Man Claims to be ‘Agent of God’

Florida Man Fights Coyote Off With Coffee Cup: ‘I smashed him’

Florida Man Throws Toilet Through School Building Window

Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Throwing Cookie at Girlfriend

Florida Man Arrested After Hitting Dad with Pizza Because He Was Mad

Florida Man Who Allegedly Threatened Family with Coldplay Lyrics Ends Standoff After SWAT Promises Him Pizza

Florida Man loves his Pizza and Beer

Arrested Florida Couple Pleasure Each Other In Back Of Cop Car

Florida Man Sprayed Other Inmates with Urine

Florida Man refused Service in a Sarasota Bar because he was wearing a Red MAGA Hat

Florida Man faked robbery to get out of work at Hardee’s

Wow, and that was only for the first few months of 2019!  Sarkes will need to hire more investigative reporters if FLORIDA MAN keeps this up.

Remember, FLORIDA MAN is innocent until proven guilty by a Jury of his Cracker Peers.

Florida Man welcomes everyone to Florida, The Gunshine State