Executive Summary:
- No one knows what makes Donald Trump Orange
- There are many theories
Sarkes thanks Canadian neighbor Dennis Parras for an article out of the Canadian Broadcast Corporation (CBC) asking why President Trump is Orange.
Canadians have long been confused by our Orange POTUS and Dennis often peppers our Silver Creek Conservative Men’s Breakfast Club with questions about things that the Golden Blabbermouth says, and then walks back. Alas, the true Conservatives of the Silver Creek Breakfast Club always have an answer for Dennis.
cautious with the Orange Pickpocket
The biggest mystery to Canadians is how President Donald Trump manages to maintain his bright fluorescent orange glow regardless of the season. Officially, the White House line is that Trump gets his glow from “good genes,”.
Theories have been floated to explain Trump’s skin color, including tanning beds, spray tan, and make-up.
Tanning Beds were immediately ruled out, as LEAKER, Sarkeses source in the White House, insists that there isn’t a Tanning Bed OR Spray Tan Booths in the White House. Also, a tanning bed also would not explain why Trump’s Orange face is a completely different color from the paler skin on his tiny hands.
Tiny Hands are a Pale White
Cosmetologists tell Sarkes that since the Orange Ameba looks more orange than tan, he most likely is using self-tanner creams or sprays.
LEAKER also tells Sarkes that the Orange Traffic Cone is self-conscious of his Orange hue, and has voiced complaints to aides that he appears too orange on television. This has led to staff dimming the lighting of many White House events. Trump also likes to use natural light, which reduces the orange glow, and has chosen to host press conferences in the sunny Rose Garden.
Orange when in the Rose Garden
In a future Sarkes Corner, Sarkes will explain to this Canadian friends how Donald Trumps hair stays Orange while every other American President goes gray.