Girl Scout Cookies in the Swamp

Executive Summary:

– Cookie ethics: Congresswoman-elect asks if she’s still allowed to sell Girl Scout cookies

Now that she’s a Congresswoman-elect, Abigail Spanberger is in angst over Girl Scout cookie season. Spanberger is one of her daughter’s Girl Scout troop leaders.

As Spanberger (D-VA) prepares for her new job representing Virginia’s 7th Congressional District, she wonders if she has an ethical conflict of interest. “Can I go in the neighborhood and sell Girl Scout cookies or are people going to feel compelled to buy because I’m now their representative in Congress? I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Congresswomen-elect Abigail Spanberger has an ethical issue with Girl Scout Cookies

Given the sex and financial scandals by Old White Men in Congress, it seems odd that a Female Congresswoman-elect would fret over selling Thin Mints. How refreshing.

Thin Mints and other Girl Scout Cookies in the center of this ethics dilemma

Congressional Management Foundation President Bradford Fitch said, like any boss, members of Congress would need to be careful about selling cookies to their staff, but he didn’t see any ethical violations with them helping their daughters sell to constituents. They just can’t use their post to pressure people to buy cookies.

As more and more women become members of the House of Representatives and Senate, the type of ethics scandals will shift.

Recent Scandals with Rich Old White Guys serving in the U.S. House of Representatives:

U.S. Representative Duncan Hunter (R-CA) and wife were indicted in federal court on dozens of charges, including wire fraud and using campaign funds for personal use.

Duncan Hunter, victim of a Left Wing Witch Hunt, threw his wife under the Bus

U.S. Representative Chris Collins (R-NY) was arrested by the FBI and charged with wire fraud, conspiracy to commit securities fraud, seven counts of securities fraud, and lying to the FBI.

Chris Collins, victim of a Left Wing Witch Hunt, did nothing wrong

U.S. Representative Blake Farenthold (R-TX) resigned in the wake of reports he used public funds to settle a sexual harassment lawsuit and had created an intensely hostile work environment for women in his congressional office.

Blake Farenthold, victim of a Left Wing Witch Hunt and victim of a bad comb over

US Representative Timothy F. Murphy (R-PA), the married, anti-abortion congressman resigned just before an investigation could begin concerning his allegedly urging his mistress to seek an abortion.

Tim Murphy, victim of a Left Wing Witch Hunt and the ultimate hypocrite

Of course, all of these Rich Old White Guys proclaimed their innocence and were victims of the Left Wing Which Hunt Conspiracy with the Liberal Media.

Sarkes connects Dots where most cannot even see the Dots, but even an Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural, White guy can spot this trend.

Florida Cracker Boinks a Pony

Sarkes Corner is back in circulation and what a story with which to return!

Executive Summary:

– A Florida Cracker was arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions
What, huh, are you kidding me, uh, say what, duh

Sarkes thanks Sarkes Corner Contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian for this story of a Florida Cracker Boinking a Pony.

A Florida Cracker has been arrested for having sex with a miniature horse on multiple occasions. Florida Cracker, 21-year-old Nicholas Anthony Sardo, of Citra, has been arrested and charged with four counts of bestiality/sexual contact with an animal.

Florida Cracker, Horse Boinker, Nicholas Anthony Sardo heading to the Hoosegow

Marion County Deputies say that on October 16, a witness came forward and reported that she had witnessed Sardo having sex with a miniature pony named Jackie G in a pasture on a family member’s property three days earlier.

Miniature Pony Jackie G recovering in his corral

Another witness came forward saying she saw it as well, and she approached Sardo about what she had seen, according to the sheriff’s office. Sardo immediately admitted to her that he had sex with the horse and also gave the same admission to a detective investigating the allegation.

Sardo added that he had sex with the horse four times during the course of a week, according to the detective. The sheriff’s office stated in a press release that, “he used a condom each time because he didn’t want to get a disease from the horse.”

Sardo is currently being held in the Marion County Jail.

Oh where to start:

Sarkes understands that living in a gated community in Bonita Springs, FL has many perks like year round Sunshine, Beaches, Golf, Pickleball, Bocce. Sarkes believes that living South Florida will add 10 years to one’s life.
Of course, there is a downside to living in the Gunshine state, specifically, co-existing with the Florida Cracker. The Florida Cracker is especially dangerous when Packing Heat (which they all do), or is drinking (which they all do) or Boinking animals (which some do).

Cracker Sardo may have a defense, Marion County Florida is horse country. Sardo can claim that he was overwhelmed by always being exposed to horses

What, huh, are you kidding me, uh, say what, duh

On his way to Mir-a-Lago for a well deserved and earned Thanksgiving holiday, the Orange Equestrian was asked about his Florida neighbor, Nicholas Anthony Sardo, Boinking a miniature pony. The Golden Horseman said: “You know, it could very well be Sardo, maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. It could have been a 400 pound guy on his couch, we may never know all the facts surrounding the vicious attack on Jackie G. In any case, Horse Face Sardo is a sick-o”.

The Orange Equestrian and his Boy Toy Vlads Putin

Another Senseless Mass Shooting, Thousand Oaks, CA Edition

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes uses his newly created Mass Shooting Standard Form.

– Sarkes did not think the use of the Mass Shooting Standard Form would come so soon after the Mass Shooting of Jews in Pittsburg, PA.

Another Mass Murder by a White Man using an Illegal weapon has happened. In this case, the Mass Murder was in (Fill in the Location) Thousand Oaks, CA.

The Mass Murder happened at a (Fill in the venue, example: school, mall, church, concert) Bar, the Borderline Bar & Grill.

(Fill in the number of innocent people killed) 12 people were murdered and 15 were injured.

The Mass Murderer, angry White Man (Fill in the Murders Name and other details) Ian David Long, is suspected on having a mental defect.

Angry White Man Mass Murderer Ian David Long

The Mass Murderer used (Identify the weapon used) a legal .45-caliber handgun with an illegal extended magazine.

.45 Caliber Weapon used by Mass Murderer Long

The Angry White Man Mass Murderer (Select one: killed himself, was killed by Police, was Captured by Police) killed himself.

Shortly after the Mass Murder:

A spokesman for the NRA said: “Guns don’t kill People, People kill People.”

President Trump, the Orange Rifleman, said: “If there was an Armed Guard in the Bar, the results would have been far better.”

The President of the NRA said: “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

A Conservative Friend of Sarkes said: “These Mass Murders with Semi-Automatic weapons are just the price of our Freedom”

Countless Politicians said: “Our Thoughts and Prayers are with the victims of this shooting and their families, Thoughts and Prayers.”

Another Conservative Friend of Sarkes said: “Mass Shooters go to Gun Free Zones, what do you expect”.

That’s if for this latest Mass Shooting Murder by an Angry White Man using a Weapon. Sarkeses use of the Standard Form should make reporting the next Mass Murder much easier.

Until the next Mass Shooting Murder by an Angry White Man, Sarkes checking out.

Gardening While Black

Executive Summary:

– This is the 3rd in the Series of “XXXX” While Black in America”. Previous editions documented “Baby Sitting While Black” and “Black and Living in a Luxury Condo”.

– In this edition, “Gardening While Black”, almost landed a Detroit Black Man in the Hoosegow.

Sarkes has stumbled on a series of news stories that just might be the catalyst for Sarkes being award the prestigious Nobel Prize in Literature. As you know, Sarkes has been stiffed and should have received the Nobel Prize years ago.

This new series is called “XXXX While Black in America”. The series focuses on Black Americans being in the Right place at the wrong time, that is, in places where White Americans do not expect to see Black Americans.

For nearly two years, a Black Man, Marc Peeples, tilled an overgrown park in a half-abandoned Detroit neighborhood into a tiny urban farm, filling the earth with the seeds of kale and spinach and radishes.

Black Man Marc Peeples

During this time, Black Man Peeples, 32, was the subject of dozens of calls to the Police — the allegations growing more serious with each call. The calls to Police where made by two White Women, Martha Callahan and Deborah Nash, who lived on a street facing the park.

Black Man Peeples said he returned to the neighborhood where he grew up to create a garden that could help feed residents and teach children about urban horticulture — a personal redemptive mission after three years in prison on drug charges. He was giving back to the Community.

Gardening While Black in Detroit

The White Women were not deterred. They continued to call Police with ever more serious accusations. The White Women complained that Black Man Peeples had terrorized the neighborhood by repeatedly threatening to burn down their houses and ordering them to leave because they were white. The White Woman also accused Black Man Peoples of illegally painting trees and vandalizing houses. And in the most serious allegation, the White Women falsely accused Black Man Peoples of sexual misconduct.

Man Peeples was arrested and went to trial. Alas, a judge intervened and dismissed the case against him. State District Judge E. Lynise Bryant threw the charges out at the trial, calling them fabricated and rooted in racism.
Black Man Peeples Lawyer, Robert Burton-Harris said: “At the heart of this case is a kind of inseparable mix of race and power. These women had their own plans for the park. They knew they could use the police as their own personal henchman to get him removed from this area just based on their allegations.”

After the verdict, White Women Nash said: “I am not a racist. I was all for the garden and even helped with supplies at first, but he threatened me several times, in person to my face, that I needed to leave my neighborhood or I would be put out one way or another”

White Woman Martha Callahan – I am NOT a Racists!
White Woman Deborah Nash – I am NOT a Racists!

Sarkes has seen a common thread in these “XXXX” While Black in America” cases. The White People claim that they were not racist. Hmmmmmmmmm

Hitler for Halloween

Executive Summary:

– A Kentucky Father Dressed his son as Adolph Hitler for Halloween

– This Blue Grass Einstein was Shocked at the Backlash he Received

Sarkes has been working on a book: “The Irreversible Dumbing of America” Sarkes has no shortage of material to support his theory that Americans have a Constitutional Right to be dumb, and are exercising that Right daily.

Such is the case with Kentuckian Bryan Goldbach. This Blue Grass Einstein sparked outrage after a picture emerged online of his five-year-old son dressed like Adolph Hilter and he was dressed as a Gestapo for Halloween.

To support Sarkeses theory of the Irreversible Dumbing of America, a proud Bryan Goldbach thought it was appropriate for him to post the picture on social media. After the posting, Goldbrick started receiving heavy criticism, with many saying his choice of costumes for his family was in poor taste.

Aryan Bryan Goldbach and his family dressed as Nazi’s for Halloween

But Goldbach that he had a sound reason for dressing his son up as Adolph Hitler. He said he chose the uniforms because of his love for portraying historical figures. Sarkes can think of servers HUNDRED historical figures that Goldbach could have selected instead of Adolph Hitler.

Mein Fuhrer Adolph Hitler, a “Historical Figure”

After the fact, Goldbach started Goose Stepping back saying: “I wasn’t trying to make a statement or put my son in any position. It was bad judgment. I want people to know I am sorry.” It is unknown if Aryan Goldbach and family Goose Stepped from house to house to collect candy.

Goose-stepping Nazis

Goldbach could have left it at that but could not resist putting his Goose Stepping Foot in his mouth. He went on to say: “We saw people dressed as murderers, devils, serial killers, blood and gore of all sorts. Nobody batted an eye. But my little boy and I, dress as historical figures, and it merits people not only making snide remarks, but approaching us and threatening my little 5-year-old boy.” Sarkes Comment: “Huh, uh, oh my, are you kidding me, sheesh”

Now on a roll, this Aryan Goose Stepped on, taking a page out of the Orange Gestapos Play Book and blamed Liberals, saying: “Yes liberalism is alive and well. And we had the displeasure of dealing with the fruits of the so called Tolerant Left.”

A reporter, probably from the Fake News Liberal Media, investigated Goldbach’s Facebook Page which included slogans in support of “White Pride”. Hmmmmmmm

Sarkes Memo to Aryan Bryan Goldbach: if your Halloween costume calls to mind an event (the Holocaust) where millions of innocent Men, Women and Children were Murdered, choose another costume, and don’t raise your son to be a bigot like you.

Sarkes quotes our Orange Commander in Tweets who said after the Charlottesville Nazi Rally: “To be fair, you had some very fine people on both sides”

To be fair, Sarkes says: “Oui Vey, you Schmiel Munzer”

It will be difficult for Sarkeses to select the top examples for his book “The Irreversible Dumbing of America”, but dressing your son as Adolph Hitler and joining him as a Gestapo for Halloween is sure to make the cut.