Donald Trump and Ass Wipe

Executive Summary:

– The Orange Charmin boards Air Force One with Toilet Paper stuck to his shoe

“Please don’t squeeze the Charmin!”

Forget this brew ha ha over the Judge Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation hearings, the big news from last week is that the Golden Cottonelle boarded Air Force 1 with a strip of Ass Wipe hanging off the back of his loafer.

“Cottonelle, Looking out for the Family”

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, Ass Wipe!, Ass Wipe!, what are you talking about? Well, when Sarkes was an Engineering student at the Missouri University of Science and Technology (S&T), toilet paper was called Ass Wipe. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up. This can be confirmed by thousands of Engineers who attended S&T in the 1970’s.

Missouri S&T Mascot Joe Miner Packs Heat and a Slide Rule

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, when you were an Engineering Student at S&T did you drink Beer? Sarkes responds: Sometimes Sarkes had too many beers. Sarkes liked beer. Sarkes does not like beer anymore. But Sarkes never drank beer to the point of blacking out. Sarkes is innocent, innocent of any charges associated with his time at S&T!

At MO S&T, sometimes Sarkes had too many beers, but Sarkes never drank beer to the point of blacking out.
Sarkes and Chris at MO S&T, Sarkes drank beer and girlfriend Chris (now wife) drank Diet Coke.

But Sarkes digresses, back of Point.

The Ass Wipe incident happened as The Orange Scotts was departing Minneapolis. After sticking with the president all the way up the stairs to Air Force 1, the Toilet paper finally loosened its grip once Trump walked aboard. 

“Scott Toilet Paper, Going, Going, still not Gone.”

Now Sarkes says, who amongst us has not walked out of a toilet only to find that we were dragging a piece of Ass Wipe on our shoes or hanging out the bottom of our pants? But what is interesting here is that NO ONE stopped the Golden Papyrus from walking up the stairs to Air Force 1 with Ass Wipe stuck to his shoe, NO ONE? This was not just a small piece of Ass Wipe stuck to a shoe. Someone; the Secret Service, the Marine Guard, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Someone, had to see this Ass Wipe dragging behind the Orange Toilet Roll.

Trump starts up stairs to Air Force 1 with Ass Wipe on his shoe.
Trump reaches the top of the stairs to Air For 1 with Ass Wipe on his shoe.

The Golden Crapper is always surrounded by at least a dozen people at all times. Is this just another step in the Mega Conspiracy to bring down the Reich of our Orange Fuhrer? History will show that this Conspiracy was Uuuuuge, a conspiracy of Demon Dems, Liberal Media, RINOs, and Benedict Arnolds. Is the Secret Service part of this Conspiracy?

Sarkeses White House Source, LEAKER, has told Sarkes that the Orange Thug is pissed that no-one stopped him from boarding Air Force 1 with Ass Wipe on his shoe. LEAKER says that the Golden Counter Puncher has ordered the FBI to determine which company; Proctor and Gamble, Kleenex, or the Scott Paper Company, produced the Ass Wipe that stuck to his shoe. There will be hell to pay.

Finally, the Orange Merchandiser is very familiar with Ass Wipe. The Trump Enterprises Merchandise offerings include: ties, suits, dress shirts, eyeglasses, spring water, vodka, education (Trump University), and of course, Ass Wipe.

Donald Trump Ass Wipe, very popular and profitable.