Executive Summary:
– The Bright Red Missouri Legislature has passed a law protecting citizens from unwittingly buying Fake Meat, yes, Fake Meat
– Missouri, formerly the Show Me State, and now called the SHOOT Me State, can now be called the SHOW MEAT STATE
Sarkes thanks New Mexico University Professor Todd Ruecker; Sarkes Corner Contributor, Intellect, and Missouri Native, for this story from the Bright Red Missouri Legislature.
Like Sarkes, Professor Ruecker was born and raised in Missouri. Both Sarkes and Professor Ruecker watch the happenings in our home state with horror. Missouri, a once proud “Swing State”, has morphed into one of the Brightest Red states of our Union.
In all fairness, the former Show Me State’s conversion to a bastion of Conservatism cannot be blamed on the Orange Jumpsuit. Rather, George Bush 2 can take credit for Missouri’s transformation. George 2 flushed Right Wing Christian Fundamentalists out of the closet and they voted in mass during his 2000 Presidential Election victory.
But the formal recognition of Missouri’s conversion as a Bright Red state was when Mizzou joined the SEC in 2012. Missouri is now peas in a Pod with the likes of Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Kentucky, South Carolina and Tennessee. The SEC, Football first, Basketball second, Education not needed.
Missouri is a state where most of it’s residents are Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural, White, Folk, i.e., the Goldie Locks Base. Also, the Southwest quadrant of Missouri is the epicenter of the Bible Belt, with countless Mega Churches lining Interstate 44 around Springfield.
Having finished their work to make Missouri the friendliest state to Pack Heat, the Shoot Me State’s Bright Red Legislature put their cross hairs on another inalienable right, the Right to Eat Real Meat.
Rural Missourians are not too bright, so the Missouri Legislature was apparently unsure if their citizens could identify Real Meat. So the Missouri Legislature enacted the first law in the nation prohibiting food producers from using the word “Meat” to describe anything “that is not derived from harvested production livestock or poultry,”.
Huh, what, uh, oh my, duh, are you s – – ting me!
Sarkes believes that the Bright Red Missouri Legislature is not giving it’s citizens enough credit. Sarkes, born and raised in Missouri, can confidently say that Missourians will not be deceived, Missourians know Real Meat.
State lawmakers and industry trade groups contend the law was necessary to protect Missourians from being misled by meat alternatives.
The Show Meat law puts the heat on plant-based meat alternatives which now must strike “meat” from their marketing materials.
The Missouri Law prohibiting food producers from using the word “Meat” to describe anything “that is not derived from harvested production livestock or poultry,” is yet another example of a Bright Red GOP Legislature finding a solution to a problem that does not exist.
Subscribers to Sarkes Corner can now feel protected when they travel to or through Missouri. Not only can you feel safe knowing that most of the people around you will be Packing Concealed Heat, but you can rest assured that you are eating Real Meat.