Judge Kavanaugh

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes weighs in on the Kavanaugh / Ford Senate Hearings

“Many People Say” Sarkes, what is your take on the Kavanaugh / Ford hearings.

Sarkes says: “At this point, what difference does it make?”

Sarkes explains and provides the Harsh Truth. The Kavanaugh / Ford Hearings are a Political Sham, pure Jackology. You see, if you are a Conservative you will believe Kavanaugh and if you are a Liberal you will believe Ford. There is no in between.

The Orange Ameba’s Base and Rich Old White Men will believe that Ford is a pawn of the Libs and lying to bring down the Trump Administration. Demon Dems will believe that Kavanaugh is a Sex-crazed, P-Grabbing Lothario not worthy to be on our Supreme Court. There is no in between.

Kavanaugh and Ford at the Hearings

Sarkes is reminded of what his mentor Judge Judy says. Let Sarkes set up the scene. A young woman decides to move in and live with her boyfriend outside the benefit of Clergy. The boyfriend turns out to be a bum, cheats on the girl, and they eventually break up. Now the girl is suing the bum for all of the things she bought the bum saying that these were not gifts, rather loans.

Judge Judy, The Cases are Real, The People are Real, The Decisions are Final

Often the young women strays off the facts of the case and complains about the behavior of the bum and attacking his character. Here is where Judge Judy says: “What do you want me to do, you Picked him!?”

Such is the case here in America. Americans elected the Golden Monarch in a landslide Electoral Collage vote and a record Popular Vote victory if you remove the 5 million votes casted for Hillary by Illegal Mexicans.

Illegal Mexican Landscaper voting for Hillary
Illegal Mexican Hotel Housekeeper voting for Hillary

Americans knew that the Orange Ameba was a serial Adulterer, a confessed P-Grabber, and full time Lothario, it didn’t matter, we elected him President. So, at this point, what difference does it make. Americans have lowered the bar for the moral and ethical behaviors of our elected officials.

Like Judge Judy would say to America: “What do you want me to do, you Elected him?”

More Cracker on Cracker Violence

Executive Summary:

– A bartender in Florida was arrested for throwing a beer mug at a customer’s head

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

Cracker on Cracker Violence takes on many forms. Mostly, Florida Crackers take advantage of the Gunshine State’s friendly gun laws and shoot each other. Often, the Cracker chooses knives and sometimes just good old fisticuffs.

While the Florida Cracker is low on the Socio Economic and Intelligence scales, they can be clever. Such is the case in this Cracker on Cracker Violence at the Last Chance Bar in Daytona Beach, Fl.

The Last Chance Bar is not the typical Beach Bar that you may have frequented when doing Spring Break in Daytona Beach in your misguided youth, the Last Chance Bar is a haven for Florida’s Cracker population.

The Last Chance Bar in Daytona Beach, FL

A bartender working at the Last Chance Bar, Nicole Swindle, 28, was arrested for throwing a beer mug at a customer’s head after he made a remark about how long she was in the bathroom. Cracker Swindle was taken into police custody Thursday night.

Crackerette Nicole Swindle

According to police, a man had been waiting 30 minutes to order a beer while Swindle was in the bathroom. When Swindle finally returned to the bar, the customer made a comment in which he said Swindle wouldn’t have taken so long if she wasn’t a drug addict.

Taking offense to the remark, Cracker Swindle threw a beer mug at the man, hitting him in the head and causing a cut. It is not clear if the beer mug was empty or full of beer. Beer is a valuable commodity for the Florida Cracker so Sarkes hopes the beer mug was empty.

A Beer Mug like those used in The Last Chance Bar

Swindle is now facing charges of aggravated battery and is facing drug charges as well as for possession of pills police found on her person.  

Sarkes is Fair and Balanced and takes no sides on these issues, Sarkes reports, you decide. Sarkes has empathy for both Cracker Swindle and her Cracker Victim and believes that both share blame for this act of Violence.

First, a Cracker should NEVER need to wait 30 minutes for a beer in a Cracker Bar. The Cracker Customer was justified in his frustration for waiting so long for his libation. Having said that, the Cracker Customer should have know better, and that his verbal assault would surely result in a negative reaction from Cracker Swindle.

In regards to Cracker Swindle, we may never know why she took 30 minutes in the Last Chance Bar’s Rest Room. Cracker Swindle may have been suffering from Gastric Disruptions, Sarkes for sure feels her pain there. It’s possible that Cracker Swindle was having a Romantic encounter with another Cracker Customer of the Last Chance Bar, for sure that happens in Cracker Bars. Or, Cracker Swindle may have been taking the Drugs found in her possession.

No shots fired, but one Cracker down.

Drive Thru Window for Heroin Sales

Executive Summary:

– A Florida couple sold drugs from their mobile home

– These Crackers set up a Drive Thru Window from their Kitchen Window

Sarkeses Florida Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

A Florida couple accused of selling drugs out of their mobile home’s kitchen window were arrested last week. These innovative Crackers figured that if a Drive Thru Window works for McDonalds, it would work for them.

Florida Crackers Benchmarked McDonalds Drive Thru Window

Cracker William Parrish Jr. and Crackerette McKenzee Dobbs were arrested when police raided their Ocala, Florida, mobile home and found, heroin, fentanyl and drug paraphernalia.

Einstein Crackers Parrish and Dobbs

According to an Ocala Police Department report of the incident, officers found fentanyl prepackaged in foil as well as plastic bags and a digital scale in the kitchen.

Cracker Parrish and Crackerette Dobbs used the window of their Mobile Home as a makeshift drive-thru for their customers. These innovative Crackers used signs to signal when their mobile home was open for sales and where to drive.

The Mobile Home Heroin Drive Thru Window

Ocala police were watching this particular area after a rash of overdose incidents.

When questioned at the Ocala jail, the lawyer for Crackers Parrish and Dobbs thought he could get a pardon from the Orange Dotard as these Cracker Einsteins are Trumps Base and their votes are needed in the upcoming Florida Senate Election between Demon Dem Dinosaur Bill Nelson and GOP Criminal Rick, Tricky Ricky, Scott, the Trickster.

Proof Positive of the Intelligence of Florida Crackers

Executive Summary:

– Florida man’s own Dashboard Camera lands him in jail

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, can the Florida Cracker be as simple as you describe them in Sarkes Corner? “Many People Say”, Sarkes, you are painting an unreal picture of native Floridians just for the sake of sensational Journalism, are your stories about Florida Crackers are Fake New?

Florida Crackers are not the sharpest knifes in the Drawer

Sarkes, a Truth Machine, cannot make this stuff up. Here is another example.

Florida Cracker Xavier Moran was involved in a Traffic accident and told Police that he could prove that he was not at fault as his Dashboard Camera had recorded the accident, and would prove that he was cut off by another driver.

Florida Cracker Xavier Moran

Cracker Moran gave his dashboard camera to Police. While reviewing Moran’s Dashboard Camera, Police not only found footage of the Traffic accident, but also found footage of Cracker Moran burglarizing a beauty store after using a Baseball Bat to break the glass door to the store. Cracker Moran was arrested on Burglary charges.

Technology is too complicated for the Florida Cracker

The is another example and Proof Positive that the Florida Cracker is on the low end of any Socio-Economic and Intelligence measure.

Sarkes is amazed that while most Crackers live paycheck to paycheck, they always seem to have enough money to buy Hand Guns, AR-15s, Beer, and apparently, Dash Cams.

Bizarro World in Florida

Executive Summary:

– The NRA sues Florida over gun control bill, huh?
– More than 450 people in Florida ordered to give up guns under the new law

Thanks to Sarkes Corner contributor and sister Cindy Mamelian who specializes in stories about Florida Crackers and Packing Heat.

Florida Governor Tricky Ricky Scott signed a Florida bill into law that raises the minimum age for buying rifles and allows some school employees to be armed.

Florida Governor Rick Scott, Tricky Ricky, The Trickster

The Risk Protection Order was signed by the Trickster just three weeks after a gunman killed 17 people at Stoneman Douglas and aims to temporarily remove weapons from gun owners who have been deemed by a judge to possibly be a threat to themselves or others.

Roughly 200 firearms have been confiscated in the state since the law was enacted along with 30,000 rounds of ammunition.

The first gun seizure under the law occurred when Florida authorities confiscated an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle from an Army veteran.  Jerron Smith’s gun was seized when he refused to surrender it voluntarily. Broward County Sheriff’s officers also seized a .22 caliber rifle he owned, hundreds of rounds of ammunition, a bump stock and numerous other weapon-related items.

In addition to confiscating guns, the law also raised the age to buy a rifle to 21 and established a three-day waiting period on gun purchases.

The NRA is furious over this action by the Gunshine State to infringe on the God Given 2nd Amendment Rights of all Great Americans to bear arms. Florida once was the NRA’s Benchmark for laws protecting it citizens right to bear arms including it’s now famous “Stand Your Ground” law.

The NRA is not happy with The Gunshine State

As Florida moves to enact Gun Control laws in the wake of the senseless murder of scores of it’s citizens with semi automatic heat, Sarkes old home state, Missouri, the Shoot Me State, is poised to become the new Benchmark State for the NRA.

Missouri, The Shoot Me State, new darling of the NRA

Load and Lock Great Americans, Load and Lock.

Sarkeses White House Source – LEAKER

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes Corner White House Source – LEAKER, recently called Sarkes, he was very upset

– Sarkes recorded the conversation and provides it here

Since day 1 of the Trump Presidency, Sarkes has had a source in the White House, LEAKER. LEAKER has provided Sarkes transcripts of the Orange Oracles Staff Meetings and other great information. LEAKER has provided Sarkes this information at great risk to his employment.

Phone Rings

Sarkes: Sarkes Corner, Sarkes Speaking.

LEAKER: Sarkes, this is LEAKER, we need to talk….

Sarkes: LEAKER!, I told you never call me on the Sarkes Corner Business Line. Who knows who is bugging this line; the CIA, the FBI, the NSA, the Secret Service, now call me back like we agreed.

A Different Phone Rings

LEAKER: (calling from his Burner Phone to Sarkeses Burner Phone). Thanks for taking my call Sarkes, I need your advice.

A Burner Phone Sarkes uses with Confidential Sources

Sarkes: LEAKER, you sound upset, whats wrong?

LEAKER: Sarkes, it’s crazy here in the White House. Since the Bob Woodward book and now the Unanimous New York Times Op Ed, President Trump has gone ballistic.

He is ranting and threatening to fire all of us, he is going to make us take a lie detector test by God! Trump is claiming that anyone who is caught Leaking will be charged with Treason!, Treason! What happened to the 1st Amendment?

The Orange Monarch will charge Leakers with Treason

Sarkes: LEAKER, did you write the New York Times Op Ed?

LEAKER: God no Sarkes, it was someone else.

Sarkes: How many Leakers are there in the White House?

LEAKER: Well, I don’t know them all, but it’s quite a few, dozens, maybe more. Sarkes, it’s getting unbearable here, I don’t know how long I can work under these conditions. Trump claims that he is a Stable Genius, in fact, he is an Unstable Moron. I really think he has a mental defect!

Sarkes: Now LEAKER, let me stop you there. Sarkes is a Truth Machine and Sarkes Corner is Fair and Balanced. Sarkes reports, Subscribers decide. Sarkes cannot publish unsubstantiated information. Is there a second source who can validate your charges that Trump is an Unstable Moron and has a mental defect?

LEAKER: Well Sarkes, there are a few people, but we are all scared shitless, I don’t know if anyone would step up now, maybe after things cool down a bit.

Sarkes: Listen LEAKER, let’s assume that you have proof and another source that will validate that Trump is an Unstable Moron and has a mental defect, America might not care.

LEAKER: That’s absurd Sarkes, what do you mean?

Sarkes: It’s simple math LEAKER. First, you have 35% of the Electorate who are Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural, White Folk, Trump’s Base. Trump can shoot someone point blank on 5th Avenue in New York and these people would still vote for him.

LEAKER: Yeah, that’s correct, Trump is right about that.

Sarkes: Then you have all of the Old, Rich, White Guys with Stock Portfolios. These people may believe that Trump is an Unstable Moron and has a mental defect, but they don’t care, all they know is that their Portfolios have been growing exponentially under the Trump presidency. Truth be told LEAKER, Sarkes is one of these Old, Rich, White Guys with a Stock Portfolio.

LEAKER: I see what you mean Sarkes, that makes a lot of sense.

Sarkes: Then you have the African Americans. Like Trump said to the African American community…”Vote for me, what the Hell do you have to lose”. Kenya West, Diamond and Silk, and the Black Guy at Trump rallies have convinced that African American community that Trump is their savior. The African American community could care less that Trump is an Unstable Moron and has a Mental Defect.

And most people think that Hispanics hate Trump for his actions on Immigration, but this is not all Hispanics. As an example, Cubans love Trump.

LEAKER: Sarkes, you sure have a grasp on the Big Picture don’t you.

Sarkes: Indeed LEAKER, no go back and get me solid evidence that Trump is an Unstable Moron and has a Mental Defect. And Sarkes will need several cooperating witnesses. Got it. And remember, only call Sarkes using the Burner phones.

LEAKER: Got it Sarkes, thank you.

Missouri – The Show MEAT State

Executive Summary:

– The Bright Red Missouri Legislature has passed a law protecting citizens from unwittingly buying Fake Meat, yes, Fake Meat

– Missouri, formerly the Show Me State, and now called the SHOOT Me State, can now be called the SHOW MEAT STATE

Sarkes thanks New Mexico University Professor Todd Ruecker; Sarkes Corner Contributor, Intellect, and Missouri Native, for this story from the Bright Red Missouri Legislature.

Like Sarkes, Professor Ruecker was born and raised in Missouri. Both Sarkes and Professor Ruecker watch the happenings in our home state with horror. Missouri, a once proud “Swing State”, has morphed into one of the Brightest Red states of our Union.

In all fairness, the former Show Me State’s conversion to a bastion of Conservatism cannot be blamed on the Orange Jumpsuit. Rather, George Bush 2 can take credit for Missouri’s transformation. George 2 flushed Right Wing Christian Fundamentalists out of the closet and they voted in mass during his 2000 Presidential Election victory.

George Bush 2 flushed out the Christian Fundamentalist in the 2000 Election

But the formal recognition of Missouri’s conversion as a Bright Red state was when Mizzou joined the SEC in 2012. Missouri is now peas in a Pod with the likes of Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Kentucky, South Carolina and Tennessee. The SEC, Football first, Basketball second, Education not needed.

Missouri Officially became a Bright Red State when Mizzou joined the SEC

Missouri is a state where most of it’s residents are Uneducated, Underemployed, Rural, White, Folk, i.e., the Goldie Locks Base. Also, the Southwest quadrant of Missouri is the epicenter of the Bible Belt, with countless Mega Churches lining Interstate 44 around Springfield.

A Mega Church in SW Missouri, Ground Zero for the Bible Belt, God Bless

Having finished their work to make Missouri the friendliest state to Pack Heat, the Shoot Me State’s Bright Red Legislature put their cross hairs on another inalienable right, the Right to Eat Real Meat.

Rural Missourians are not too bright, so the Missouri Legislature was apparently unsure if their citizens could identify Real Meat. So the Missouri Legislature enacted the first law in the nation prohibiting food producers from using the word “Meat” to describe anything “that is not derived from harvested production livestock or poultry,”.

Huh, what, uh, oh my, duh, are you s – – ting me!

Sarkes believes that the Bright Red Missouri Legislature is not giving it’s citizens enough credit. Sarkes, born and raised in Missouri, can confidently say that Missourians will not be deceived, Missourians know Real Meat.

This Missourian does NOT need a Label to know Real Meat
This Missourian enjoying a Tasty burger like the Orange Ground Round

State lawmakers and industry trade groups contend the law was necessary to protect Missourians from being misled by meat alternatives.

The Show Meat law puts the heat on plant-based meat alternatives which now must strike “meat” from their marketing materials.

No one can mistake Tofurkey for Real Meat

The Missouri Law prohibiting food producers from using the word “Meat” to describe anything “that is not derived from harvested production livestock or poultry,” is yet another example of a Bright Red GOP Legislature finding a solution to a problem that does not exist.

Subscribers to Sarkes Corner can now feel protected when they travel to or through Missouri. Not only can you feel safe knowing that most of the people around you will be Packing Concealed Heat, but you can rest assured that you are eating Real Meat.

Trump’s Eulogy for John McCain

Executive Summary:

– A Source in the White House, Leaker, leaked a copy of the Orange Orators planned Eulogy for John McCain’s Memorial Service

– Alas, the Golden Preacher was not invited so the Eulogy was not delivered

The Orange Orator writes a Eulogy to John McCain

First, Sarkes is a upset. Sarkes had thought that his Source in the White House, Leaker, was feeding Sarkes and Sarkes Corner EXCLUSIVE stories out of the White House.

In this case, Leaker sent a copy of the Orange Pontificators Eulogy to Tom Toles of the Washington Post. Perhaps the Washington Post, owned by Billionaire Jeff Bezos, offered more money to Leaker than Sarkes for this story. Sarkes pays NO money for stories as Sarkes Corner is a low budget operation.

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributors, Ashok Agrawal and Peggy Morgan, Subscribers to the Washington Post, for sending this to Sarkes.

Washington Post publishes Trumps Eulogy

In any case, the Eulogy was never delivered as the Golden Mouthpiece was not invited to John McCain’s Memorial Service at the National Cathedral. All was not lost, the Orange Duffer was able to get in a round of golf at his Trump International Golf course in Virginia.

The Orange Duffer gets a round in during the Memorial Service

WARNING WARNING WARNING: Since the Orange Windbag is wordy, his planned Eulogy to John McCain below is long, but worth the read. WARNING WARNING WARNING

Published by Tom Toles in the Washington Post:

Donald Trump’s Eulogy to John McCain (Draft, never delivered)

We are gathered here today to listen to me speak. I have many things to say, all of them valuable. And true. Very, very true. No Fake News like the Enemy of the People.

We have been reminded that life does not last forever, but I should point out to you that I myself am very much still alive, both personally and politically. I am the healthiest President in History. The angry Democrats working for the out-of-control Mueller investigation have done their best, in their Witch Hunt, to hurt me politically, but here I am. I have accomplished more than any other President in History, History!

But enough about me. We are here to remember what John McCain thought about me. Not enough. They say “speak no ill of the dead,” but what about “speak no ill of the president”? That’s important, too. More important. Not everybody seems to have heard it.

A lot has been said already about heroism and loyalty. As for loyalty, Sen. McCain wasn’t loyal to me. And I shouldn’t need to point out that I won the presidency, and he didn’t. But I will point it out, because it’s true. And I won with the largest majority in U.S. history, larger even than the majority won by the legendary Abe Lincoln and all the other Republican presidents — put together. Sen. McCain didn’t win at all, and some call him a hero!

What is heroism? Heroism is having the courage to put the White House flag back up to full-staff, even as disloyal aides kept trying to keep it at half-staff. Half-staff is surrender, essentially the same as being captured in war, like McCain. Where was his loyalty to me, where was he? Disloyal. Put the flag back up to full-staff.

I don’t mean to be critical. We have to remember that we are all Americans, and that as Americans we need to come together and support the president, no matter the personal sacrifice required. When we think of sacrifice, we should think of making them for me. I do. I sacrifice every day for me and my family.

Yes, Sen. McCain and I had our disagreements, but at the end of the day, I won the all the arguments, by a record amount. So let the American flag fly proudly, over my office, at full-staff, and let that be a lesson to you all. Goodby John McCain, we can now repeal ObamaCare.

(End of Eulogy)