Another Senseless Cracker Crime

Executive Summary:

– A man with no arms stabbed a tourist in Miami Beach

– Could this be a windfall for the Perp?

Thanks to Sarkes Corner contributor Steve Moss for this strange Cracker Crime story out of Miami.

Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze. It seems like the number of ways that Crackers can inflict pain on each other is endless. In this case, the victim was a tourist from Chicago.

Miami Beach police say 46-year-old Cracker Jonathan Crenshaw, who has no arms, held a pair of scissors with his feet and stabbed 22-year-old tourist Cesar Coronado just after midnight last week.

Mug Shot of Cracker Crenshaw

Cracker Crenshaw is a well-known Miami Beach street artist who uses his feet to paint. Cracker Crenshaw’s paintings are colorful mosaics that feature eyes, and sell for as much as $60.

Cracker Crenshaw in his Studio

Tourist Coronado and a friend told police that Coronado had only asked for directions before the vicious attack. Tourist Coronado was bleeding from his left arm when he was admitted to a local hospital.

Cracker Crenshaw claimed he acted in self-defense after Coronado punched him in the head. That’s the problem with our judicial system, our jails are filled with innocent people. Alas, in this case, Cracker Crenshaw has had multiple run-ins with police, including violent crime charges like battery on a police officer.

Who knows, maybe Cracker Artist Crenshaw’s street paintings will be more in demand now and the prices could exponentially inflate, just like the Portfolios of us Rich, Old, White, Guys. Unlike the Fake News spewed by the Liberal Press, Trickle Down comes in many different ways and is not just reserved for Rich, Old, White guys.

An Original Crenshaw which could now have a greater value