Jesus Drank Wine

Executive Summary:

A Florida Crackerette defends her drunk driving using Cracker logic: “Jesus drank wine and so did I”

– This drunk driving suspect says she’s just a follower of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ

– Sarkes connects Dots where most cannot even see the Dots

– Sarkeses Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

A Cracker who is inebriated is a problem. An inebriated Cracker driving a car is a formula for disaster. Inebriated Cracker Drivers who get their marching orders from our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ while driving a car is, well, off the scales in Biblical proportions.

After a night of boozing, Florida Crackerette, Nicole Ann Mintner, defended herself to police by telling arresting officers that “Jesus drank wine and so did I.”

Deputies said they found the 45-year-old Crackerette asleep at the wheel inside a silver Dodge with her hazard lights activated and engine running in Sumter, Florida. Sumter is between Orlando and Ocala, smack dab in the Heart of Cracker / Trump country.

A drunk Florida Cracker, who is also under the influence of Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, presents a unique challenge for Law Enforcement officers:

During police interviews, Crackerette Mintner reportedly refused to take off her sunglasses and slapped an officer twice.

Crackerette Minter told officers that she had taken Xanax then later admitted to drinking alcohol after four empty sangria bottles were found in her center console.

When Crackerette Mintner was placed under arrest, she continuously screamed and threatened to urinate while en route to Sumter County Hoosegow.

At the Hoosegow, officers attempted to perform field sobriety tests on Minter but she kept talking over them singing “Amazing Grace.”

Crackerette Minter was not finished. She threw her socks at a camera recording the sobriety tests and exposed herself to the officers, removing her right breast from her shirt and revealed it to the camera and jail staff.

“Many People Say” Sarkes, a drunk Cracker getting arrested for DUI is a daily occurrence in the GunShine State, what makes this a Sarkes Corner worthy story?

Sarkes connects dots where most do not even see the dots. With the retirement of Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, his replacement will be Ultra Conservative. The Freedom of Religion portion of the 1st Amendment will take on a whole new meaning with our new Conservative Supreme Court. Crackerette Minters case is an example. “Jesus drank wine and so did I” could be a defense that keeps inebriated, God Fearing Christians out of the Hoosegow.

Florida Crackerette Nicole Ann Mintner
Jesus drank Wine