An FBI Shooting Gone Bad

Executive Summary:

– An Off-Duty FBI agent accidentally shoots man while dancing at bar in Denver

An Off-Duty FBI agent was impressing a crowd at a downtown Denver distillery and bar with dance moves and an improvised backflip — until his handgun tumbled out of his waistband holster and a round went off as he picked it up, injuring another club goer.

The victim was hit in the lower leg and taken to a local hospital but is expected to be OK, according to Denver Police. 

It’s unclear whether the FBI agent had been drinking and authorities are awaiting results of blood tests to determine whether alcohol was a factor. Yeah, what is the probability that alcohol was NOT involved!

The federal Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act, enacted in 2004, allows qualified law enforcement officers, and qualified retired law enforcement officers, to carry a concealed firearm in any jurisdiction in the United States, regardless of state or local laws.

The Orange Commander In Tweets chimed in on this issue with a Tweet:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 6 @ 3:56AM
FBI Agents dancing and doing backflips with loaded firearms all started with Comey and Obama. This will stop under my watch. This would have never happened under J. Edgar Hoover, now that was a man’s man, not a panty waist like the current FBI agents.

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – June 6 @ 4:30AM
The Fake News Liberal Press is blowing this all out of proportion. I said that FBI agents can carry their guns, but they must stop doing back flips. For the real news, watch Fox News, Breitbart News or Sarkes Corner.

Sarkes Analysis:

The problem here is obvious. The Off-Duty FBI agent was White. We all know that White Men cannot dance. Worse than that, White Men cannot do back flips.

Now if one wants to do a back flip, the perfect teacher is Ozzie Smith, Hall of Fame Shortstop for the perennial World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. Ozzie, a Black Man, would do an incredible Back Flip as he ran onto the field for every Season Home Opening Game. Ozzie did this for his 19 years as a Major League player, sticking his landing each and every time. If this was the Olympics, Ozzie would have been awarded a perfect 10 by the Judges, even the Commie Russian Judges.

The Lesson Learned for White Men trying to impress the gals at a Bar: Buy them a Drink, avoid dancing or trying a backflip.

The Badge of the FBI Agent in Denver
Eyewitness Pictures of the FBI Agent shooting a fellow Bar Patron
St. Louis Cardinal Hall of Fame Shortstop Ozzie Smith doing his Back Flip

Two Florida Cracker Stories

Executive Summary:

– Florida woman named Crystal Methvin arrested for possession of Crystal Meth

– Florida Republican Leader posts support for Roseanne’s Racial Tweet

While Sarkes Corner Contributor and Sister, Cindy Mamelian, lives in Missouri, The Shoot Me State, she is a regular visitor to Florida, The Gunshine State. The Florida Cracker never ceases to amaze Cindy.

Cindy sent 2 stories of the antics of Florida Crackers which Sarkes shares here. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up.

Florida Cracker Story 1: Florida police arrested a woman named Crystal Methvin for possession of Crystal Meth Saturday morning. St. Augustine police said they arrested Cracker Methvin, 40, and her friend, Cracker Douglas Nickerson, 41, after getting an anonymous complaint.

Police say the Florida Crackers consented to a search, and officers arrested Methvin and Nickerson after finding crystal meth and drug paraphernalia.
Both were taken to St. Johns County Jail.

Sarkes Editorial: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Florida Cracker Story 2: A Republican leader in Leesburg, Florida has said he doesn’t understand the anger generated by Roseanne Barr’s tweet comparing a former adviser to President Barack Obama to an ape.

Lake County Republican Committeeman Ralph Smith posted an image of Valerie Jarrett side-by-side with an image of a character from “Planet of the Apes” on Facebook with the caption, “And the issue with Roseanne is?”

Cracker Smith is a proud, Heat Packing, Red Hat “Make America Great Again”, supporter of the Orange Dotard. He is the prototype member of “Trump’s Base”.

The Daily Commercial in Leesburg, Florida, published a story Wednesday quoting Smith as saying that he thought the comparison was “funny.”

Smith deleted his post Wednesday. On a radio show he hosts, he said he doesn’t care about a person’s color, only their values. Smith has made another Facebook post to apologize that his “attempt at humor was crass and inappropriate.”

“My knowledge of Valerie Jarrett, as a black woman, was only understood yesterday,” Smith’s apology post read. “My understanding was that she was of Iranian descent, a darker than average Caucasian, much like myself. Had no idea of her ancestry.”

Sarkes Editorial: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sarkes finds Florida Cracker Story 1 amusing.

Sarkes finds Florida Cracker Story 2 ……………. well, Sarkes is speechless.

Cracker Crystal Methvin
Crystal Meth
Cracker Nickerson
Cracker Ralph Smith. This pictures tells it all.

Yeti Products at Risk

Sarkes Corner –

Executive Summary:

Yeti Products are being sacrificed by Heat Packing Great Americans.

CNN reported that the company that makes Yeti Products is the latest of a number of companies who have severed ties with the powerful gun lobby, the NRA, in the wake of February’s mass shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida.

In protest, NRA supporters are blowing up their expensive YETI coolers and Yeti Mugs over a canceled discount that Yeti had provided to NRA Members.

Sarkes understands that many Subscribers to Sarkes Corner are City Dwellers who don’t pack Heat, and thus know very little about Yeti Products. There is a Strong, Positive Correlation between Heat Packing Americans and Americans who own Yeti products. So, Sarkes will provide a Yeti Tutorial.

Yeti produces Hight End Insulated Products popular with Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, Rural White Folk, i.e., Trump voters. These products include Mugs and Coolers. The Yeti Mugs cost as much as $50 and the Yeti Coolers typically cost $350 to $1,300.

The original target market for Yeti products were Hunters, Fisherman, and Campers. The performance of Yeti products in not Fake News. Yeti products do keep your Cold liquids Cold and your Hot liquids Hot.

Later, the market for Yeti’s shifted to the entirety of, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters. Sarkes is amazed that the while the Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters, struggle to make ends meet, they always find the money to buy their High End Yeti products, Beer, and Ammo for their Heat. In America, we are all free to make choices.

Today, it is common to see Yeti products in the hands of affluent White Folk, like Sarkeses neighbors in the Gated Golf Course Communities in Southwest Florida. Sarkes and his neighbors now display their Yetis as a status symbol of their wealth. Sarkeses research has not determined how the Brown and Black communities have embraced the Yeti, but it’s rare to see a Black Man or Brown Man with a Yeti Cooler or Yeti Mug.

Typical reactions to the Yeti slight of the NRA :

Bryan Atkinson of Buford, South Carolina packed his Yeti Cooler with 22 pounds of explosives and then blew it up with a burst from his Semi-Automatic AR-15. Akinson stated “If Yeti can’t stand behind the NRA, I ain’t standing behind Yeti no more,”. Obviously, Grammar is not a strong suit of Yeti Owners.

Leroy Franklin of Macon, GA, said: “I own several expensive Yeti products and planned on purchasing more, however, NOT NOW,”

Jimmy Phillips of Plano, TX said: “You just lost my family’s business. The second amendment is important, YETI is not. Shame on you.”

Joe Krawtschenko of Lakewood Ranch, FL, admitted his YETI coffee mug actually works pretty well. But Yeti’s slight of the NRA has changed his mind on using the mug. In protest, Krawtschenko Loaded and Locked his AR-15 and blasted his Yeti Mug.

The Orange Rifleman, who recently addressed the NRA Convention on the Yeti issue Ranted: “Yeti is no friend of the NRA. I would love to Bitch Slap those Traitors who are still using their Yeti’s. I would say get those son of a bitch Yeti users out of here right now, YOUR FIRED!. You know, those Yeti Turn Coats who want to keep using their Yeti’s, maybe they shouldn’t be in this Country. I say if you see a person using a Yeti, you should take their Yeti and go to court later, Yeti users do not deserve Due Process”. Note: Trump got a 5 minute standing ovation from those in attendance at the NRA Convention.

There you have it, the Heat Packing, Undereducated, Underemployed, White Rural Folk, i.e., Trump voters, are Mad as Hell, and are not taking this Politically Correct PC Crap anymore. While they truly love their Yeti Products, they will not Kowtow to The Yeti Man.

Yeti Products may be superior in keeping Cold things Cold and Hot things Hot, but they are no match with an AR-15. Load and Lock your AR-15, put on your Red “Make America Great Again” caps, and death to all things Yeti.

Trump Voter Blowing Up his High End Yeti Cooler
The Orange Rifleman ranting against Yeti at the NRA Convention