Roach Lays Eggs in Florida Man’s Ear

Executive Summary:

– Nope, Sarkes cannot make this stuff up
– Was Hillary Clinton behind this heinous act?

WARNING WARNING WARNING – This Sarkes Corner is not to be read by those with squeamish stomachs. Also, Old, Rich, White Folk who have people who clean their houses and can afford Orkin for Pest Control may believe that this is Fake News as they have never seen a Roach in their homes. WARNING WARNING WARNING

Sarkeses Florida Cracker neighbors never cease to amaze.

Normally, one would think of Roach infestation issues in the Black Ghettos or Brown Barrios of big cities like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, etc. This Roach story comes from the Gunshine State, Florida, in the capital city of Tallahassee, in a White neighborhood.

Florida Cracker Blake Collins has been fighting roaches in his apartment near the campus of Florida State University for 3 years.

Collins said that roaches can be found everywhere in his house, and some come out of his bulb sockets. A bowl with dog food shortly attracts dozens of German roaches. But last week, the pest problem reached its peak. Collins woke up at 5 a.m. to a roach moving inside his ear.

Collins told medical personnel: “A roach was burrowing inside of my head. I could hear his legs inside me. It felt like someone was shoving a Q-tip all the way inside my head and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

Doctors used a syringe to put lidocaine, a numbing medication, inside his ear to kill the roach — which also had laid eggs. 

Collins went on to explain: “I heard the Roach die in my head. When the Doctor poured the lidocaine in, I could feel the Roach go super, super fast, kicking and try to dig its way out, and a faint little squeal and then two minutes later, it just stopped and he died.”

It is estimated that 92% of Registered Florida Cracker Voters voted for the Orange Good Ol Boy. It is also estimated that double the number of Registered Florida Crackers were not Registered to vote as they could not read or sign the Voter Registration application.

Understanding that Florida Crackers are an important part of his Base, the Golden Czar was incensed when informed about the Roach attack on Florida Crackers. He tweeted:

Donald J. Trump @ realDonaldTrump – May 30 @ 4:56AM
Before election day, Crooked Hillary hired SPIES, SPIES, to infiltrate Florida with MILLIONS of German Euro Roaches, Euro Roaches! These Roaches were trained to attack my voters to help Crooked Hillary Win. DIDN”T WORK!!!! I won in a landslide, largest Presidential victory in History, History. We even found Roaches at Mir-a-Lago! SHAME. This is a scandal larger than Watergate. The Justice Department WILL investigate Crooked Hillary and that Illegal Obama for this heinous crime.

Being a Florida Cracker, there is a high probability that Cracker Collins packs Heat. Thankfully, Cracker Collins went to the Emergency Room before trying to eliminate the Roach with his Heat.

Roach Attack Victim Florida Cracker Blake Collin
The Euro Roach removed from Cracker Collins’ Ear
The Orange Exterminator checking for Euro Roaches at Mir-a-Lago