Best Place to Hide Heat from the Police

Executive Summary:

A woman from the Shoot Me State, Missouri, thought she had found the perfect place to hide her Heat from the Police.

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and friend Betty Wucher for this head shaking story about a woman from Sarkeses former home state, the Shoot Me State, Missouri.

Sarkes is thankful to be able to report on a story that does not include the Golden Gestapo, Stormy Daniels, Rudy Giuliani, Paul Ryan, Patrick Conroy (House Catholic Priest), Sarah Sanders, Robert Mueller, Homey Comey, and the rest of the Clowns that dominate the News each and every day.

Sarkeses neighbors from the Shoot Me State, Missouri, never cease to amaze.

Oh wear to start. Let’s start here. Sarkes cannot make this stuff up. Sarkes is a Truth Machine. Sarkes reports, you decide.

Anika Witt, 27, from Ozark, MO, was caught running drugs in Illinois with her boyfriend, Clinton McDonald, 29. Witt was a long way from home. Ozark, MO, is in the far Southwest corner of The Shoot Me State. Ozark, MO is rural, and it’s inhabitants are uneducated, underemployed, Heat Packing, White Folk, i.e, the Orange Julius’s base.

When these 2 Drug Running Einsteins were pulled over by the Illinois State Federalies, they found Ecstasy in Witt’s bra and Heroin in the car.

Kitt was processed in the McLean (IL) County hoosegow, a standard procedure during that processing is to Strip Search the Perps. During the Strip Search of Witt, a Correctional Office found a fully loaded Kimber .380 pistol, with a bullet in the chamber, ready to fire. Witt had inserted the Kimber .380 pistol ……… into her Vagina……. her Vagina!

Sarkes knows a thing or two about Vagina’s, but the ONE topic that Sarkes is deficient is Heat. So, Sarkes was compelled to do some research on the Kimber .380 pistol. Was it really possible to insert a Kimber .380 pistol into ones Vagina?

First of all, Sarkes must go full komomo, Sarkes has NEVER done a Product Review on a Pistol. Sarkes, a recovering Liberal and soon-to-be Conservative, is still struggling with his new Red Teams love of the 2nd Amendment and Packing Heat.

But Sarkes digresses, back on point.

The Kimber Micro Raptor is a true “Pocket Pistol”. This pistol has a capacity of 7 bullets, 6 in the clip and one in the chamber. The Kimber Micro Raptor weighs 13.4 ounces, is 5.6 inches long and 1 inch wide.

So Sarkes concludes, based on some recent research on Stormy Daniels, a Kimber Micro Raptor pistol CAN be comfortably inserted into a women’s vagina. Who would have thought.

More research by the Sarkes Corner staff revealed that stashing a gun in one’s Vagina is a more common tactic than one might think.

A Waco, Texas woman was given 10 years of probation last year for possession of methamphetamine and had stuffed a .22 caliber pistol in her Vagina.

A 19-year-old Kingsport, Tennessee, woman was sentenced to three years in prison for the mini-revolver jailers found in her Vagina during a 2014 arrest. A retired car salesman, who reported that gun missing, said the gun would need “a bath in bleach.”

What do these Vagina Heat Packing women have in common? They are all from Bright Red states, proud Conservative Republicans; Missouri, Texas, Tennessee. How could our Founding Fathers ever have predicted the evolution of Vagina Heat Packing Women when then crafted the 2nd Amendment: “……. the Right to Bear Arms…….” Heck, our Founding Fathers never recognized Women at all in our Constitution.

But, there is still more to this story. By inserting fully loaded Heat into their Vagina’s, these Rural, uneducated, underemployed, Heat Packing, White Women, not only put themselves at Risk of a Premature, Accidental shot, but others are also at Risk.

As an example, what would happen if the Orange Lothario Birddog P-Grabbed one of these Vagina Heat Packing Women? This could be result in the strangest assassination attempt of all time.