Walmart, Home Depot, and Florida K-12 Schools

Executive Summary:

– Florida Governor Ron DeSantis says fully opening K – 12 schools is like shopping at Walmart or Home Depot

– Sarkes misses former Florida Governor, now Florida US Senator, Tricky Ricky Scott

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Florida Correspondent Cheryl Katz for this amazing story out of the Gunshine State.

Florida Governor Ron DUHSantis is an Orange Emperor loyalist.  DUHSantis is consistent as he always walks Lock Goose Step with our Orange Excellency.  Recently, the Orange Educator declared that all K-12 schools will open in the Fall or he would withhold funding to the school district that don’t.

Governor DUHSantis and the Orange Messiah are two peas in a pod

Always ahead of the Orange curve, DUHSantis declared that Florida Schools would open in the Fall.  Using scientific data, DUHSantis said:  ”I’m confident if you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, we absolutely can do the schools.”  Um, huh, aaaah, uh oh, he said what?

DUHSantis is a graduate of Yale and Harvard Law School, but many people don’t know that DUHSantis is smart enough to have been a medical doctor.  DUHSantis continued saying: “the risk posed by COVID-19 is much lower for children than for older people”

According to Gov DUHSantis, if you can do Walmart you can go to K-12 schools in Florida
According to Gov DUHSantis, if you can do Home Depot you can go to K-12 schools in Florida
According to Gov DUHSantis, if you can do K-12 schools in Florida you can go to Walmart or Home Depot

“Many People Say”, Sarkes, is this DUHSantis nuts, how can he compare going to Walmart to buy groceries or to Home Depot to buy Hardware to sitting in a crowded classroom for 8 hours!!!!!?  

Sarkes, Fair and Balanced, a Truth Machine, had not been in a classroom since graduating from Missouri Science & Technology in 1975 and Maryville University in 1989, maybe DUHSantis was Right.   As such, Sarkes tasked the Staff of Sarkes Corner to do in-depth, investigative reporting on this issue.  Governor DUHSantis could be Right, Sarkes asked: “if you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, maybe you can do schools?”.

The last time Sarkes was in school, he sported a stylish Hair Do and Side Burns at MO S&T in the early 1970’s
Sarkes was confident in his masculinity at MO S&T and had no issues wearing a dress
Sarkes was always in Deep Thought as an Engineering Student at MO S&T, solving complex equations and Engineering challenges 

Well, the Investigative Reporters of Sarkes Corner reported back to Sarkes with disturbing news.  The young Sarkes Corner reporters told Sarkes:  “If you can do Home Depot, if you can do Walmart, if you can do these things, YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DO SCHOOLS”.  

The young Sarkes Corner reporters then asked Editor In Chief Sarkes if they could Investigate whether DUHSantis is suffering from Covid-19 as that could be the only explanation for his asinine comparisons.  Sarkes, worried about the health of his young reporters, DID NOT give them permission to determine if DUHSantis was, in fact, delirious from Covid-19.  

Sarkes WILL NOT sponsor a Witch Hunt to determine if DUHSantis is suffering from Covid-19

The Florida Governor for 8 years before DUHSantis was Tricky Ricky Scott.  Sarkes always wondered how the good Citizens of the Gunshine State, both Crackers and SnowBirds, could have elected a Crook into the top job in the 3rd largest state of our Union.  Recall that Tricky Ricky Scott was the CEO of Columbia/HCA, a Health Care organization that were found to have committed 1.7 BILLION, (BILLION) dollars in Medicare Fraud under his Leadership.

Columbia/HCA committed the Largest Medicare Fraud in History, History!

Under oath, Tricky Ricky Scott invoked the 5th Amendment 75 times, 75, as the Government was investigating this Uuuuuge Medicare Fraud.  Tricky Ricky also claimed that, as CEO, he was unaware of the Fraudulent Acts committed by his employees.  Columbia/HCA agreed to repay the Government 881 MILLION, (MILLION) dollars to settle the case.  Shortly after, Tricky Ricky Scott was given the Old Heave Ho from Columbia/HCA. 

Sarkes did not worry about the future of Tricky Ricky Scott.  He received a Golden Parachute from Columbia/HCA of over 10 MILLION, (MILLION), enough to hold him over until he decided to run for Governor of the Gunshine State.

CEO Tricky Ricky Scott was unaware that his company was committing record Medicare Fraud

Again, Sarkes was no Fan of the Crook Tricky Ricky Scott……..until Hurricane Irma in 1997.  Irma devastated Florida.  During this tragic time, Tricky Ricky Scott exhibited strong Leadership.  He made quick, science based decisions on when to evacuate, he reached out to other states and the Federal Government to provide manpower and resources to take care of those impacted by Irma, and, he kept everyone informed with daily, short, fact based, updates.  

Tricky Ricky Scott may be a Crook, but his Leadership during Irma was outstanding and must be recognized

So Sarkes reaches out to Tricky Ricky Scott, currently the junior Senator from Florida, no, Sarkes Begs and Pleads to the Trickster; COME BACK TO FLORIDA, FAST, and take DUHSantis under your wing.  Tell him what he needs to do to help the good citizens of Florida make it thru this pandemic.  Going to Walmart, Home Depot, as the reason to open our Grade Schools is nuts. 

Tricky Ricky Scott may be a Crook, but he is far from being a Moron

Florida, Goats, and Iguanas

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes, the Executive Editor of Sarkes Corner is tired of stories about Caronavirus, Trump, etc.

– Sarkes tasked the Staff of Sarkes Corner to get back to the Basics

Sarkes has been bothered for some time that the daily news cycle is focused on Caronavirus, his Orange Majesty, Statues of Losing Generals, etc.  Sarkes called an Emergency Staff Meeting of the Sarkes Corner staff and tasked them to get back to the Basics with stories that has made Sarkes Corner Award Winning media.  An animated Sarkes shouted to the Staff; “Where are the stories about Crackers, George Zimmerman, Packing Heat, Judge Judy?  Lets get back to our Core Competency!!!”

Sarkes was not happy with the direction headed by Sarkes Corner

The Sarkes Corner Staff responded immediately with two stories that are Sarkes Corner Worthy:

A Florida Woman Sues for the Paternity of her Goats

A Florida woman has filed a lawsuit seeking either a paternity test on her goats or a refund.  Kris Hedstrom filed the suit against her neighbor, Heather Dayner, last month seeking DNA for the goats she purchased. Hedstrom paid Dayner $900 for five Nigerian Dwarf Goats.

What’s so special about Nigerian Dwarf Goats?  Nigerian Dwarf Goat milk is 6 to 10 percent higher in butterfat and higher in protein than milk from most dairy goat breeds. These Goats make great pets, do not make much noise, and take up little space. 

Nigerian Dwarf Goats are an American Breed with West African Roots, and are the Who’s Who of Goats

According to the lawsuit, Hedstrom believed the goats — Bella, Gigi, Rosie, Zelda and Margoat — could be registered with the American Dairy Goat Association, a group that records goat pedigrees. Registered goats have higher values than unregistered goats.  The American Dairy Goat Association is dedicated to promote the Dairy Goat industry, maintaining and publishing herd books and production records of milk goats; and issuing certificates of registration and recordation.

The American Dairy Goat Association is THE source for anything Goats 
The ADGA Goat Show is rivaled only by the Westminster Dog Show 

Dayner, who has been selling goats at Baxter Lane Farm for about 10 years, typically provides information to her clients so they can register their animals themselves.  She said the father goat was registered, but the American Dairy Goat Association rejected Hedstrom’s application to register the 5 babies because Dayner is not an active member.  Proving paternity would require about 40 of the father goat’s hair follicles for a DNA test.

Kris Hedstrom is not happy that she could not register her Nigerian Dwarf Goats, a 1st World Problem

Sausage, Onion, and Iguana Pizza

Only in Florida, the Sunshine State, can one get an Iguana Pizza.  State Food Inspectors found an 80-pound iguana stashed in the refrigerator at a local pizza joint, Pizza Mambo, in West Palm Beach.  Pizza Mambo was forced to close for a day following the inspection by the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation.

Iguana is an off-menu topping offered at Pizza Mambo in West Palm Beach

A Pizza Mambo employee said that the Iguana was given as a personal gift to the owner and was not used as a pizza topping.  Yeah, right. The employee said that the Iguana was stored in a separate freezer away from the restaurant’s food.

Pizza Mambo offers a wide assortment of pizza toppings, including Iguana

Iguanas are multiplying so rapidly in South Florida that a state wildlife agency has been encouraging people to kill them. Iguanas aren’t dangerous or aggressive to humans, but they damage seawalls, sidewalks, landscape foliage and can dig lengthy tunnels.  The reptile is considered a delicacy.

Iguana meet is tender and tastes a lot like Chicken

Just like you cannot find any Cats around Chinese Restaurants, there is not an Iguana to be found around Pizza Mambo.

“Many People Say” that Cat meat tastes like Chicken

Sarkes is proud of the Sarkes Corner Staff.  Any newsroom today can report on the Caronavirus, the Orange Emperor, Statues, etc, but it takes a special staff like the staff of Sarkes Corner to deliver the news that meets the standards of Sarkes Corner.

The staff of Sarkes Corner responded to Sarkeses Rant and got back to the Basics and Core Competency of Sarkes Corner

Caronavirus, Black Lives Matter, and The Constitution

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes provides a Constitutional Tutorial in the context of the Caronavirus and Black Lives Matter 

– Sarkes provides evidence of the Genius of our Founding Fathers

On this July 4 Holiday weekend, Sarkes publishes this Special Edition of Sarkes Corner to provide a Tutorial on our Constitution, in the context of current events; The Caronavirus and Black Lives Matter.  

Sarkes, a Constitutional Scholar, provides a history lesson:

Sarkes is not only an Award Winning Journalist, marginal Engineer, esteemed Statistician, but it is not widely known that Sarkes is a Constitutional Scholar

Americans celebrate Independence Day on the Fourth of July every year. July 4, 1776, is a day that represents the Declaration of Independence and the birth of the United States of America as an independent nation.

Fireworks are now a staple of The 4th of July Celebrations

What’s often overlooked in this Celebration of Independence is our Constitution which came much later. Our Constitution was written during the Philadelphia Constitutional Convention in 1787. Our Constitution was ratified on September 17, 1787, 11 years after our Declaration of Independence.  

Our Founding Fathers worked long and hard to develop our Constitution 

Finally, the first 10 Amendments of the Constitution were ratified on December 15, 1791, and form what is known as the “Bill of Rights.”  The Bill of Rights define specific guarantees of personal freedoms and Rights, clear limitations on the government’s power, and explicit declarations that all powers not specifically granted to the U.S Congress by the Constitution are reserved for the Individual States or the People.   It’s these Bill of Rights that get most attention.  

Sure, the Founding Fathers can be Rightfully criticized for declaring African Americans worth only three-fifths of a human being and providing NO Rights for Women.  But these slight oversights were corrected by our Congress and Supreme Courts in the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which stated: The Civil Rights Act of 1964 is a landmark civil rights and labor law that outlaws discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.

The Equal Rights for African Americans and Women must have been a complex issue as it took the Rich, Old, White Politicians in our US Congress 177 years to fix.

African Americans and Women finally got Equal Right in 1964 …….. or did they?  Hmmmmmm

Two Current Events demonstrate the power of our Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Genius of our Founding Fathers:

A white couple stood outside their St. Louis mansion and pointed guns at Black Lives Matter Protesters 

This current event focuses on our 1st Amendment, which provides Americans the Right to Freedom of Speech and the Right to Peacefully Assemble.  Also, the 2nd Amendment, which provides Americans the Right to Keep and Bear Arms.

Rich, Old, White Folk, Mark McCloskey, 63, and his 61-year-old wife, Patricia, stood outside their St. Louis Mansion last week in the city’s well-to-do Central West End neighborhood, Packing Heat.   Black Lives Matter protesters were marching toward the near-by St. Louis Mayor’s home to demand her resignation. As the Protestors passed the McCloskey Mansion, they could hear the McCloskeys yelling at them while Packing Heat.  

Think of the Central West End in St. Louis as an Oreo Cookie; Rich, White, filling surrounded by Black Cookies.  The McCloskeys claim that they Are Not Racists (of course not), but were protecting their home on their Private Street from an Angry Black Mob, and were in fear of their lives.  

The McCloskeys are not Racists, and were only protecting their Multi Million dollar Mansion from an Angry Black Mob
The Central West End in St. Louis is like an Oreo Cookie, Rich White filling surrounded by 2 Black Cookies

Disclaimer:  Sarkes wife of 45 years (in August), Chris is a St. Louis McCloskey.  Her grandfather, James McCloskey lived in St. Louis, but it is not clear if the Heat Packing Mark McCloskey is related to Chris.

Christine Korkoian (nee McCloskey) does not think she is related to Mark McCloskey, but for sure, Chris does not Pack Heat

The fact that the Rich, Old, Heat Packing McCloskey’s could Pack Heat to protect their Multi Million dollar Mansion is a testament to the Genius of our Founding Fathers.  You see while in the times of our Founding Fathers, the only Heat they had were single shot muskets.  But, our Founding Fathers had the vision that some day, technology would provide for the development of more sophisticated weaponry, like the Semi Automatic Assault weapon, used by Mark McCloskey, to imitate the hoard of Angry Black Protestors.

The Founding Fathers had a vision that Heat would evolve from their Muskets to today’s Semi Automatic Assault Rifles, Genius!

Alabama Students have Caronavirus Parties

This current event focuses on the entire Bill of Rights, the first 10 Amendments to our Constitution. 

College Students in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, organized “COVID-19” parties as a contest to see who would get the virus first.   Huh, um, ahhh, are you kidding me, they did what??!!!  Students hosted the parties to intentionally infect each other with the Caronavirus.  These College Student Einsteins purposely invited guests who had previously tested positive for COVID-19. The Einstein Students put money in a pot and whoever got COVID first would get the cash.

Dr. Ramesh Peramsetty, a local physician, said that there had been rumors of COVID-19 parties for about a month. Dr. Peramsetty said:  “While my nursing staff was triaging patients for COVID-19 swabbing, they were told about the COVID-19 house parties and were even shown videos of the parties by college students.  Later, when the Students were called with the test results, we noticed that some were very excited and happy that they were positive, while others were very upset that they were negative.”  Huh, um, ahhh, are you kidding me, they said what??!!! 

Alabama students will use any excuse to party, even infecting themselves with the Caronavirus

On the surface, “Many People Say” that the College Student COVID-19 parties in Alabama were caused by the Mega STUPIDITY of these Alabamian Students.  Sarkes, always digging down deep to get to the Root Cause of a story, believed that the Alabamian Students may NOT be Stupid, rather, the Students might have believed that an increase in the COVID-19 statistics might force the University to cancel classes in the Fall, the goal of derelict Students all across America.  Alas, Sarkes could not prove his alternate theory, and now concludes that yes, the Alabama Students were indeed, STUPID.

Yes, Alabama Students are STUPID

So, how does the Stupidity of Alabama Students relate to our Constitution and Bill of Rights.  Simple.  Our Bill of Rights, in their entirety, gives ALL Americans the Constitutional Right to be STUPID.  And, Americans are exercising their Constitutional Right to be STUPID ever day.

Sarkes is working on a sure fire, Nobel Prize winning book:  The Next American Revolution, The Irreversible Dumbing of America.  This book documents the Continuing and Irreversible Dumbing of America.  This Dumbing  evolves to a point in time, estimated to be 2040, when Americans become so Dumb that the gap between Rich and Poor widens, causing the next American Revolution where the Poor, Stupid and the Dumb take over America.  

Sarkes works hard every day to complete his future Nobel Prize for Literature

Orange Lives Matter

Executive Summary:

– Sarkes brings to light the struggles of Orange Americans

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER:  Sarkes and the staff of Sarkes Corner support the Back Lives Matter Movement and nothing in this Sarkes Corner should be misconstrued as anything different. DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER: 

While the current news cycle is focused on the death of George Floyd, and rightfully so, Sarkes is compelled to educate America on the plight of Americas smallest, disenfranchised Minority – Orange Americans.

According to the US Census Bureau, the racial make up of America is:

White – 61%

Brown – 18%

Black – 13%

Yellow – 6%

Red – 1%

Orange – Less than 1/2 of 1%

Orange Americans are the Forgotten Minority.  Americans are not born Orange, rather they become Orange over time.  Usually, Orange Americans start turning Orange in their teen years.

“Many People Say” that Americans turn Orange thru the use of self tanning spray products.  Self tanning spray products are intended to turn White people Brown, but often turn White People Orange.  Or so, that is what “Many People Say”.

Self Tanning Products can turn White Americans Orange

Sarkes has a source inside the CDC (Center of Disease Control) in Atlanta, GA, code name CDC Leaker.  CDC Leaker will remain anonymous as he/she provided Sarkes Classified data on what turns White people Orange.  

The CDC knows what turns White People Orange

A review of the Classified Data provided by CDC Leaker reveals that the primary cause of turning White People Orange is LED LIGHTS, yes, LED LIGHTS.  “Many People Said” that President Donald J. Trump was delirious when he blamed LED Lights for his Orange Hue.  Turns out that President Donald J. Trump was RIGHT.  

President Donald J. Trump turned Orange with the LED Lights in the White House.
LED Lights have an adverse impact on some White Americans

Further review of the Classified CDC documents revealed that the use of LED Lights, now in almost every home and business in America, was a conspiracy of the Liberal Climate Change Scientists.  The Liberal Climate Change Scientists are responsible for the demise of the Incandescent light bulb, which cannot be found in any store in America today.

Liberal Climate Change Scientists are responsible for the Genocide of the Incandescent Light Bulb
The Incandescent Light Bulb NEVER turned White Americans Orange

Even more disturbing in the review of the Classified documents is what the CDC has identified as the Side Effects of LED Lights on the skin of some White People.  These Side Effects HAVE NEVER been released to Americans.

The CDC has documented that extended exposure to LED Lights not only can make White American Oranges, but has the following devastating side effects:

Habitual Lying

Narcissistic Behavior

Excess Weight Gain

Craving For Red Meat

Bone Spurs

LED Lights can make White Women Orange
LED Lights can make White Men Orange
LED Lights, in rare cases, can make White Infants Orange

So, what can be done to help the forgotten, disenfranchised Orange Americans?  Sarkes asks all subscribers to Sarkes Corner to email, call, write their Congressperson and Senators and demand that they enact legislation to bring back the Incandescent Light Bulb.  This could happen fast as the plight of Orange Americans should be a bi-partisan issue.  LED Lights impact White Republicans the same as White Democrats.

Also Americans should demand that Congress ask President Trumps Personal Attorney, Bill Barr, to open an investigation into the CDC as to why they have kept the damaging data on the Side Effects of LED Lights from innocent Americans.

President Trumps Personal Attorney Bill Barr will get to the bottom of this LED Lights Conspiracy

Until Congress acts, Sarkes asks all Americans to have compassion with Orange Americans.  The Orange American did not know that they would be adversely impacted by LED Lights.  Sarkes reminds all that Americans did not understand the adverse impact of Second Hand Smoke until Americans were diagnosed with Lung disease having never smoked.  

Americans did not understand the negative impact of 2nd Hand Smoke
Despite the impact of LED Lights, President Trump has been the most effective President in our History

Orange Lives Matter

Caronavirus and Gun Sales

Executive Summary:

– The Caronavirus has created a demand for Bicycle Sales

– The Caronavirus has created a demand for Gun Sales

Thanks to Sarkes Corner Contributor and Sister Cindy Mamelian for this story about Caronavirus and the Gun Industry.  Full disclosure, sister Cindy is a Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, American. 

While the Caronavirus has had a devastating impact on our economy and American industries, not so for Bicycle Sales.  Americans looking for something to do safely outdoors have turned to riding bicycles.  Many Americans have not ridden a bicycle since their youth, and like Toilet Paper, have emptied Bicycle Stores of their bicycle inventories.

Bicycles, like Toilet Paper, are now in short supply

The same has happened with Gun Sales in Bright Red States, especially Florida, the Gunshine State, and Missouri, the Shoot Me State.  During the 8 years of the Obama Presidency, Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing Americans ran Gun Shops out of Ammo and Heat believing that Obama was going to confiscate their Ammo and Heat.  God Bless the NRA from stopping Obama from taking our Heat and Ammo.  Like the Late, Great, Heat Packing American Charlton Heston famously said:  “I”ll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead, hands”.  God Bless you Charlton, God Bless you. 

Obama wanted to take Heat and Ammo from Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans
Charlton Heston, a Real Mans Man, was a Great American and an inspiration to all Heat Packing Americans

With the election of the Orange Rifleman in 2016, and unexpected consequence was a drastic reduction in Gun Sales and Ammo.  Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans were no longer fearful that the Government would confiscate their Heat and Ammo.  Some Heat manufactures filed for Bankruptcy and a number of Gun Shops were forced to close. 

Who would have though that the election of the Orange Lugar would have a negative impact on Gun Sales

A silver lining in today’s Caronavirus world is an exponential increase in Gun Sales, especially a spike in first-time Heat buyers.  What has driven the resurrection of Heat Sales – concern over civil unrest because of what coronavirus is doing to the economy has led more people to buy guns.  And, God Fearing, Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans want to protect their homes from the Hoard of Rioters in the wake of the George Floyd killing by Minneapolis Police.

God Fearing, Proud, 2nd Amendment, Americans are buying Heat to protect their homes from the Rioting Hoards

In the Gunshine State, Government DuhSantis closed non-essential businesses like movie theaters, bars, restaurants, movie theaters, but allowed essential business like WWE Wresting and Gun Shops to remain open.

Governor DuhSantis declared that WWE Wresting and Gun Shops were Essential businesses

A day after DuhSantis’s stay at home order, Orlando Gun Shop, “Shoot Straight”, found more than 20 people waiting in line outside the business before its 11 a.m. opening.  Their sales have exploded, pun intended, everyday since.

Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Floridians waited in line to buy Heat and Ammo

This movement is not unique to the Gunshine State, Gun Shops across the country are reportedly seeing increased sales, prompted by people beefing up their home defenses over concerns coronavirus could cause problems with society.

What are these Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing Americans purchasing?   Popular purchases include handguns and pump-action shotguns.

The Pump-Action Shot Gun is the Weapon of choice to protect one’s home from Caronavirus-crazed Home Invaders
While not as effective as the Shot Gun, a handgun is portable and easy to use

Americans have been Packing Heat to protect themselves since the First, Original, Rioting Hoards – The Boston Tea Party.

Disenfranchised White Folk Packing Heat rioted in what we now call the Boston Tea Party

Sarkes understands that his conversion to a Reagan-Trumpian Conservative will not be complete until he Packs Heat.  Sarkes is struggling in this area.  In order to make progress to Pack Heat, Sarkes has made a poster of motivational mantras to remind him of all of the benefits of becoming a Heat Packing Conservative:

“Guns don’t kill People, People kill People”

“If there were Armed Guards patrolling our Schools the results would be far better”

“The only way to stop a bad guy with a  gun is a good guy with a gun”

“The Mass Murders with Semi Automatic Weapons are just the Price of our Freedom”

God Bless the Proud, 2nd Amendment, Heat Packing, Americans.  The Caravan of Rioting Hoards will not breach their homes.  God Bless America.

The Lake of the Ozarks

Executive Summary:

  • The Lake of the Ozarks is a wonderful place for resorts, water sports, and weekend chalets 
  • The Lake of the Ozarks is the background for the Netflix Hit Show “Ozarks”

– The Lake of the Ozarks draws Stupid Americans like a magnet

Thanks to Sarkes Correspondent and Sister Cindy Mamelian and daughter Cathy Korkoian for this story about the Jewel of Missouri, the Lake of the Ozarks.  

The Lake of the Ozarks was formed with the construction of Bagnell Dam on the Osage River in the heart of Missouri.  Construction started on the dam in 1929 and was completed in 1931. The resulting reservoir, the Lake of the Ozarks, has a surface area of 55,000 acres, over 1,150 miles of shoreline, and stretches 94 miles from end to end. At the time of construction, it was one of the largest man-made lakes in the world and the largest in the United States.  Bagnell Dam was built with the purpose of Hydroelectric generation.  

Bagnall Dam created the Lake of the Ozarks in 1931
The Lake of the Ozarks is a popular water sport, weekend destination

Florida, the Gunshine State, has a Bi-Modal Population Distribution, Crackers and Rich Old White Retired Snowbirds.  Likewise, Missouri, The Shoot Me State, has a Bi-Modal Population Distribution,  Redneck/Hillbillies and Rich White People (young and old), from St. Louis and Kansas City.

The Lake of the Ozarks is the setting for the popular Netflix show Ozarks.  Ozarks is the story of 2 families, the Byrds (Rich White People) and the Langmores (Ozark Hillbillies).

The Byrds, Rich White Folk, had a difficult time adjusting from life in Chicago to life in the Ozarks
The Langmores are typical Ozark natives, content with their beer and single wide Trailers

When Sarkes was growing up in Missouri, then called the Show Me State, the  state was an important Purple Swing state.  Now, the Shoot Me State is Bright Red, with all state-wide and national offices held by God-fearing, Great American, Conservative Republicans.  The transition started when George Bush 2 flushed out the Evangelical Christians as a powerful voting block, and finished with the University of Missouri, Mizzou, entering the SEC Athletic Conference in 2012.  

The Shoot Me States transition form Purple to Red had some predictable consequences.  One is the fact that the good citizens of the Shoot Me State will not let the Government tell them what to do.  The citizens of the Shoot Me State have the Constitutional Right to be Stupid.

And, Stupid they were on Memorial Day Weekend.  After the Orange Potentate called for the LIBERATION of States to Open Up, Missouri Governor Mike Parson opened up the Shoot Me State on May 4, rolling out the “Show Me Strong Recovery Plan”.

Some pictures of how the LIBERATION “Show Me Strong Recovery Plan” looks at the Lake of the Ozarks follow.  These pictures were taken at a Pool Party at a popular watering hole, Backwater Jacks Bar & Grill in Osage Beach.

This is Social Distancing…….Missouri Style
Missourians are Booze Hounds and won’t let the Government tell them what to do

Yes, the Good Citizens of the Shoot Me State have a Constitutional Right to be Stupid, and there is ample evidence that they take that Right Seriously.  Sarkes will avoid his home state for a while.

Sarkeses Op Ed to Donald J. Trump

Executive Summary:

  • A Sarkes Op Ed to Donald J. Trump will be published next Sunday
  • Major Conservative and Liberal Media Outlets will publish the Sarkes Op Ed

Sarkes has written an Op Ed to Donald J. Trump which will soon be published in both Conservative Media (Fox News, One America News Network, etc), and Liberal Media (Washington Post, New York Times, MSNBC, etc), along with Independent Media like Sarkes Corner Fair & Balanced.

Sarkes provides the Op Ed to subscribers of Sarkes Corner in advance before it is published in the other Media next Sunday.

The Sarkes Op Ed to Donald J. Trump – May 24, 2020:

To:  Donald J. Trump

Sarkes would like to recognize your work in defeating the Covid-19 Virus that has plagued America.  History will show that you are the Greatest War-Time President in our history, the greatest.  As  result of your Strong Leadership,  the United States is open for business, and in record time, far ahead of all other nations in the world.   Americans can now go to Church, Bars, Restaurants, Barbers/Salons, the Beach, etc without fear of contracting Covid-19.  

The Orange Commander-In-Chief is our Greatest War-Time President, despite painful Bone Spurs

Despite the “sky is falling” crying by American Scientists and Physicians, you convinced Americans to use Hydroxychloroquine, Lysol Disinfectant Injections, and Internal Laser treatments,  resulting in American deaths being limited to only 100,000.  Without your strong Leadership, American deaths might have surpassed a Quarter Million or more!  These numbers are a tribute and a “Badge of Honor”.

Hydroxychloroquine, Lysol Disinfectant Injections, and Internal Laser treatments have saved many American lives

You have always said that you know more than all of the Generals, Scientists, and Physicians, and that Only You Can Fix This.  While some in America may have questioned these claims, your Leadership in defeating Covid-19 proves that you are right, Only You Could Fixed This, and you did.  Thank You.

The Orange Stable Genius knows more than Dr. Fauci and Dr. Scarf Lady

Now that the war against Covid-19 is over and America is open again for business, Sarkes asks that you now shift your attention to stop the Hostage situation that has been ongoing for close to a year, that is, the BOEING HOSTAGES BEING HELD BY THE FAA.

Sarkes asks that you go to the Orville Wright Federal Building, 800 Independence Avenue SW, Washington D.C (The Swamp).  This is the Headquarter of the FAA where 50,000 Angry Democrats are holding Boeing and the 737Max airplane Hostage. 

The FAA Headquarters in The Swamp where the Boeing and the 737Max is being held Hostage

There is probably no bigger Bureaucracy in The Swamp than the FAA.  The FAA will NOT Certify the 737Max even after Boeing has made and tested several changes to software and hardware to get those planes flying again.  It is time for your intervention.  Like in the war against Covid-19, Only You Can Fix This.

The Boeing 737Max is a high quality airplane being held Hostage by the FAA

Boeing is Americas largest Exporter by dollars,  Americas largest Aerospace Company, and Americas leader in both Commercial and Military / Space programs.  Boeing is a company with over 160,000 employees, all with high paying jobs and great insurance.  Boeing employees do not need ObamaCare which you have been trying to eliminate since your inauguration. 

If Boeing continues to be held hostage by the FAA,  150,000 employees may need to apply for ObamaCare

So, Donald J. Trump, it is up to you to go to the FAA and insist that the 50,000 Angry Democrats at the FAA RELEASE THEIR BOEING HOSTAGES, NOW!

Sarkes is proud to wear his 737Max Bicycle Jersey in support of the Boeing Hostages being held by the FAA

Caronavirus Crimes

Executive Summary:

– The Caronavirus is bringing out the worse in Americans

– Caronavirus related Crime is on the rise

Sarkes, a Constitutional Scholar, is on record that our Constitution gives all Americans Rights un-paralleled anywhere else in the world………including the Right to be Stupid.

The Great American Philosopher George Carlin said it best about Americans

One such stupid American is Gloricia Woody from Oklahoma City, OK.  Woody had entered a McDonalds restaurant despite the dining area being closed because of coronavirus restrictions.  The McDonalds Drive-Thru was open but Woody was too hungry to wait in the line.

Goricia Woody, craving a Big Mac and not wanting to wait in the Drive-Thru line, is heading to the Hoosegow

When employees asked Woody to leave, she refused and got into a scuffle with the employees. Employees eventually forced Woody outside, but she re-entered the restaurant with a handgun and fired three rounds.  One McDonalds worker was shot in the arm, two others were struck by shrapnel, and a fourth worker suffered a head injury.  The injuries were not life threatening.

Lines are long at McDonalds Drive-Thru these days as customer need their tasty Big Macs and Fillet-O-Fish

The incident is one of a number reported across the country that authorities said were related to restrictions put in place to combat the spread of the coronavirus. 

In Michigan, a Security Guard at a Family Dollar Store in Flint, MI, was tragically fatally shot after arguing with a customer who did not want to wear a face mask in the store, a mandate in place by Michigan for all retail stores.  Ramonyea Bishop, 23, and his stepfather, Larry Teague, 44, have been charged with first-degree murder.

Retail Stores in Michigan require customers to wear Face Masks
Bishop and Tucker are heading to the Hoosegow charged with Murder

In Southern California, a customer wore a Ku Klux Klan Hood during a trip to the grocery store – – – and repeatedly ignored staff requests to remove it.   The incident took place at a Vons Super Market in San Diego one day after health officials in the county ordered residents to wear face coverings in public to stymie the spread of Covid-19.

This Great American wore his KKK Hood to comply with Government Mask requirements

When asked at a recent 2 hour Caronavirus Press Conference at the White about these 3 Caronavirus incidents, his Orange Majesty said:

“I am not responsible for these acts of crime.  I don’t take responsibility at all.  These crimes were caused by a set of circumstances and rules, regulations and specifications from Obama, he is to blame.” 

“Now listen, the guy in the KKK hood should have found another mask, but there are very fine people on both sides”

“They should throw the book at those 2 Black Guys that killed the Security Guard in Michigan, they are animals.  I told my personal lawyer, William Barr, not to call that woman in Michigan (Governor Gretchen Witmer), she is useless.”

“If they convict the woman in the McDonalds shooting I will have my personal Lawyer William Barr issue her a Pardon.  America depends on McDonalds to provide tasty Big Macs, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, Fillet-O-Fish, Fries, Cokes and Shakes.  If McDonalds does not get their act together, I will order the Defense Production Act on McDonalds.”

Like the Orange Eminence always says: “Its Obamas Fault”
The Orange Carnivore prefers McDonalds Big Macs over Fillet-O-Fish 
The Orange Messiahs personal lawyer, William Barr, is very busy these days

Economic Impact Payments

Executive Summary:

-Economic Impact Payment Checks were issued to Americans, Dead or Alive

In this time of the year when Pulitzer Prizes are awarded, Sarkes, Editor of Sarkes Corner, had really believed that he would receive a Pulitzer for his investigative reporting that resulted in the declaration that Donald J. Trump is really a Liberal Democrat in Reagan-Conservative clothing.   

Sarkes based his inference on one data point, that is, that his Deceased mother, Alice Korkoian, had received a $1,200.00 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT – DONALD J. TRUMP. Liberal Democrats have a history of allowing the Deceased to Vote and receive Government Checks long after they have made their Celestial Exit. This is proof positive that Donald J. Trump is really a Liberal in Reagan-Conservative Clothing.

The Orange Liberal-in-Reagan-Conservative Clothing knowingly issued Tens of Thousands ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT Checks to the Deceased, like this one issued to Alice Korkoian, as the checks were addressed to the Deceased (note the DECD next to the addressee name)

It turns out that Tens of Thousands of $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT checks were issued to Deceased Americans. The Orange U.S. Treasury, realizing that they may have made a mistake, then asked that the $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT checks be VOIDED and returned to the Treasury.

Since no postage was provided, the Deceased realized a loss of $1,200.55.

The Orange Indian-Giver Flipped asked the Deceased Americans to VOID the checks and return to the Treasury

The Deceased were required to mail back the Voided Checks at a cost of 55 cents for 1st Class postage

The Orange Treasury has learned their lesson. On more recent $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT checks issued, the Orange Treasury has a box on the front of the envelope that states: If Recipient is Deceased check here and drop in Mail Box. This even with the $1,200 ECONOMIC IMPACT PAYMENT check enclosed was addressed to Deceased!!!

This Economic Impact Payment Check, issued to Sarkeses deceased Aunt Rosalie, had the new Return Box, saving Sarkeses Cousin Dorthy 55 cents

God Bless the Orange Philanthropist, he was only trying to help all Americans, Dead or Alive.

Come Back With a Warrant

Executive Summary:

– The Florida Cracker has many unique characteristics

– Humor is one of those characteristics

Drugs were found at a Cracker home in Palm Coast, FL.  That in itself is common in a Cracker home.  But what made this a unique story is that a  welcome mat at the front door read “come back with a warrant” — and that’s just what deputies did, finding drugs, including fentanyl, and drug paraphernalia inside. 

The Crackers in this home sent a strong Challenge to law enforcement

Fentanyl is 50 times stronger than Heroin and 100 times stronger than Morphine.  In 2018, the DEA stated that as little as two milligrams of Fentanyl would be a lethal dose for most people.

Crackers are ever increasingly migrating from Crack Cocaine to Fentanyl

“This poison peddler had a doormat that said, ‘Come back with a warrant,’ so we did,” Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly said. “Our detectives did a great job in following up on tips received on this residence. We still have some follow-up work to do, but for now the deadly drugs and syringes seized are off the streets.”

Sheriff Staly was just following the instructions on the Door Mat

Investigators say there were four Crackers inside and one Cracker child.  The Florida Department of Children and Families were contacted and took possession of the child. 

Young Crackers are so innocent but often go bad in their teens